Righting a Wrong
by jessb921
Summary: So this story isn't new, I had it up before and by trying to fix it I somehow deleted. Ana and Christian have a past and come face to face after a few years can Christian make things right after he broke Ana's heart.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hope it's readable I somehow uploaded it as one huge chapter. Let me know if you have trouble reading it. Thank you!**

I stare out the window and watch the rain fall as I wait for the moment that Christian Grey walks into his office and sees me for the first time in years. This is the last place I want to be but I had no other choice, this contract is of great importance. Originally my dad was going to bring the contract to GEH but he was called to be at a construction site last minute and he couldn't get out of it so here I am making sure that it gets personally gets delivered to Christian. If it were up to me I'd leave it with is assistant.

I had really hoped and wished that my dad could find a way around it. I even suggested I go to the site in his place, I'm sure I could handle whatever it is the issue was. My dad is the CEO of Steele Inc. which is the carpentry business he built from the ground up and thankfully it has made a name for itself. I know he's proud of all that he's accomplished accomplished, it's more than he ever thought was possible. He's told me that I am the best gift in life has ever given him and that's why he worked so hard to make sure I would never struggle for anything, even though he has taught me to work hard in life.

Retiring is something he's been wanting to do for some time now and he deserves to finally take time for himself. Elliot will be taking over Steele Inc. once all the paper work is signed. He has always been like a son to my dad and has always been there even though he has his own construction company. Elliot has always given my dad credit for his success saying he taught him all the "great secrets." They've done a lot of jobs together so Elliot already deals with most of my dad's clients anyway making things easier for the change.

It was never my dream to take over the company and my dad knew that even if he hoped one day I would change my mind. I've been working for my dad for about a year now. My dream was to go into publishing after graduating but I still haven't been able to get a job anywhere because I don't have experience or the right references. Luckily for me my dad convinced me to major in another field just as a back up because you never know what life throws at you. I chose accounting and here I am at Steele Inc. I had to work my way up and I wouldn't have it any other way. My dad always taught me to always work and earn my place. So I worked really hard and long hours, now I am the head of accounting. I also fix the contracts and make sure there aren't any mistakes that could cost him or that anyone can use against him. I never would have guessed how much I've actually enjoyed doing all of this. That being said I still don't feel comfortable taking over, besides I trust Elliot as much as my dad does and I don't mind having him as a boss since technically he already is since I've been doing the same work for his company as well.

When I hesitated to bring the contract to Christian my dad questioned me and wanted to know what was going on.

"Everything is all set baby girl. Remember Christian is the middle man and is the one doing the negotiating on Elliot's behalf. You know how stubborn Elliot is and he want's to make sure I just don't give him the company. Since we both trust Christian we decided he would be the best person to handle this whole thing. Sometimes I wonder if Elliot gets his stubbornness from Grace or Carrick. I was ready to just give Elliot the company, I mean I see him as my own son, but of course he said he can't accept it. Which brings us to this contract, he wants it to be a regular business transaction like any other and I get where he's coming from. We know that Christian will give me the right price under the right terms. Nobody knows about this so make sure Christian himself gets this folder."

I grab the folder as my dad hands it to me. I laugh because he knows I was planning to leave it with Christian's personal assistant Andrea.

"Are you sure I can't go to the construction site for you?" I ask again with a small smile as my dad sits on his chair.

"Annie it won't be so bad, I'm sure Christian will be happy to see you maybe he'll take you out to dinner so the two of you can catch up." My dad winks at me while smiling.

"I highly doubt it dad but I'll make sure he gets this top secret folder." Hiding it in my purse, I can't help but laugh.

I grab my coat and walk towards the door when my dad stops me.

"You know he has asked about you from time to time over the years. He's been asking a lot more lately." I give my dad a sad smile because I'm sure Christian asked out of politeness or small talk not because he really cared.

It's not like he didn't know where I was.

"What happened with you two? I mean you were so close and then all of a sudden it was like you never met?" My dad asks eyeing me suspiciously.

I take a deep breath and do my best to smile. "We just grew apart I guess. I better get going before it gets too late."

My dad looks at me expecting me to say more and I hope he doesn't ask more questions. I know my dad secretly wanted me to marry Christian.

"Annie I know there's more to it especially when you would make sure Christian wasn't home before we would go over. I also remember you two started getting along again and then it stopped from one day to the next. I'll drop it for now, I can tell you don't want to talk about it Annie but maybe this is a second chance for the two of you." I give my dad a stern look and he laughs.

"I'll call you once I've delivered it." I say walking out of his office.

I arrive at GEH in no time. Andrea showed me into the office and told me I could wait for Christian in here. I was nervous about it hoping I could just hand it over and leave right away but of course luck wasn't on my side. Andrea informed me that his meeting is taking longer than expected. I had asked Andrea if Christian knew I was coming instead of my dad, with a big smile she told me my dad had called to let him know. I don't know how much time passes but I get lost to the sound of the rain and thunder.

"I remember how much you loved the rain. You'd make me go outside with you just so we can play and feel the water. At night you would open the window so you could sleep better." Christian says breaking me out of my thoughts.

I hadn't even heard the door open. Christian comes to stand next to me and I close my eyes for a moment.

"That was so long ago Christian." I whisper.

"It seems like yesterday." Christian says and I take a deep breath not wanting to talk more about the past.

"The contract is on your desk my dad wanted me to make sure you got it." I say as I walk to his desk to hand it to him.

"Thank you Anastasia." We look at each other and for a moment I get lost in his gray eyes.

Christian is even more handsome now. I look deeper into his eyes and see the person I once knew, the one I fell in love with. Christian clears his throat and breaks eye contact. I start walking towards the door to leave but Christian grabs my arm stopping me. I'm surprised to feel the electric zing that was always there when we'd touch. If anything it feels stronger now. Christian turns me so that I am now facing him. I pull my arm out of his hold and take a step back, he looks hurt for a moment but maybe my mind is playing tricks on me.

"Christian" I hear Jacqueline's annoying voice breaking me and Christian from our trance. I've never liked her, she's like those wicked witches that are hiding something. I always got a bad feeling from her which always reminded me of my mothers third husband. When she notices me she stops in her tracks and scowls at me. Before Christian can notice she quickly recovers and gives me a fake smile.

"What a surprise to see you here Lana."

"It's Ana." I hear Christian say surprising me.

"Goodbye Christian." I walk out of the office as quickly as possible.

I can feel Christian behind me. I push the button for the elevator hoping it opens quickly. Christian reaches me.

"Let Ray know I will call him to set up a meeting." Christian tells me as the elevator arrives.

I nod and before I can get in the elevator I hear Jacqueline telling me to say hi to my father and Elena for her. I give her a tight smile, then I tell Andrea bye. I give Christian on last glance and smile, I know he wants to say something but chooses not to. I lean against the back of the elevator and sigh in relief. It was really intense having Christian so close to me, I felt like all my feelings resurface. A part of me wanted him to kiss me and just hold me tight but I know that wasn't going to happen. It gave me some hope that he remembered how much I love the rain, which reminded me how kind he can be. I know it doesn't mean anything and I'm probably reading more into it than what it really is. I walk into my apartment and find my best friend Kate on her laptop.

"Ana you're home!" Kate yells getting up to hug me making me laugh.

"I missed you too Kate." I say laughing. We decide to go out for dinner since we are both starving. Kate and I met in college and have been friends ever since.

"Ethan is going to be joining us for dinner tonight." Kate tells me with a wink.

Ethan is Kate's brother and my best friend just like Kate is, he had been out of town for some internships he had gotten and arrived back yesterday so it'll be exciting to see him again. We arrive at the restaurant where Ethan is already at a table waiting for us. I didn't realize how fast the time went till the waiter brings us the check. We were busy eating while laughing and talking and just having a good time.

 **CHRISTIAN**

I'm in the SUV thinking about Ana. When I walked into my office and saw her staring out at the rain, all I want to do is pull her close to me and not let her go. Ana has always been beautiful and her blue eyes can always see right through me and today I still felt that way. I know she was upset when I said it seemed like just yesterday. I was surprised she didn't didn't say something sarcastic like she use to. Ana always had something to tell me and never let me get away with anything. I can't help but smile just thinking of Ana. I had to stop her from leaving and to be honest I didn't know what to say but before I knew it I was holding her arm and turning her towards me. The electric charge that has always been there between us was stronger but then she pulled out of my hold and stepped back which made me feel like crap. I wanted to kiss her so much and just feel her against me. It's like we were lost in a small bubble just looking into each others eyes but fucking Jacqueline had to ruin the moment and it pissed me off, then to top it off she messed up Ana's name which I know she did it on purpose.

Once Ana left I told Jacqueline I had another meeting and she asked me to meet her for dinner. I wanted to say I couldn't but then she'd just keep pestering me about our monthly meeting for the salons which is just an excuse of hers to see me and find out how things are going with my sub. I can't even imagine what Ana would think of me if she ever knew about my lifestyle. Taylor pulls up in front of the restaurant and when I get off I see Ana and some guy who leans down to whisper something in her ear making her laugh. I don't know how but I'm right in front of them now clearing my throat. Right now I just want to pull him away from Ana, I should be the one to make her laugh not this jerk.

"Anastasia." I say making them both turn to look at me. Ana looks surprised to seem me. The fucker has a huge smirk on his face.

"Christian." Ana says with a smile which makes me relax a bit until the fucker puts his arm around Ana's shoulders.

"Hi I'm Ethan." I reach for his hand and shake it as I give him my name which is pointless since Ana already said it.

A blonde comes out of the restaurant with a huge smile and asks Ana and Ethan if they are ready to go then she notices me standing there.

"This is my best friend Kate, Kate this is Christian." We shake hands and then Kate turns to Ana with wide eyes like she just realized something.

Before anyone can say anything Jacqueline walks up to us and kisses me on the cheek completely ignoring Ana. I move away from her hoping to keep talking to Ana who won't look at me.

"It was nice meeting you Christian." Ethan says with a smile as they start walking away.

Fuck! I know I have no right to be pissed but I can't help it. I walked into the restaurant not waiting for Jacqueline. Once we are seated inside she lets me know what she's thinking.

"Christian darling don't let that little tart make you loose your focus. You know as well as I do she never really knew you and even now she will not understand what you need." I look at Jacqueline with a don't fuck with me right now look which makes her cower in her chair. "I'm just looking out for what's best for you."

"Let's get this over with Jacqueline just give me the update on the salons. I have an early meeting in the morning so I already ordered our meals." I know this pisses her off but I don't give a fuck right now.

Jacqueline is a good friend who gets on my nerves at times but she' the only one who knows what I need. She got me into the BDSM lifestyle. I needed control and she understood that. It helped me straighten out when I was getting into fights and was close to start drinking. I felt like I couldn't be around Ana afraid if I lost control I would somehow hurt her.

On the other hand Ana helped relax me, I didn't worry about much. There was no expectations we could just be us. Then there were times where someone would mess with her it would piss me off and with my temper I would always react and throw the first punch.

"Christian!" I hear Jacqueline call my name and I know she's pissed. "You can't possibly be serious right now. Don't tell me you were daydreaming about that goody too shoes."

"Are you going to tell me about the salons?"

She looks at me trying to read me and I know she's surprised because this isn't the reaction she was expecting.

"I don't have time for this shit right now Jacqueline just email me the report and if I have any questions I'll call you." I get up and start walking out.

I need to find what Ethan is to Ana. Fuck I didn't get his last name!

"Taylor I need a background check on Ana's friends." Taylor looks at me through the rear view mirror and I see him almost smile.

"Welch already emailed it to you sir." That's why I hired Taylor he's quick and knows what I expect.

We arrive at Escala and I go to my study and look over the contract that Ray send for me to look over. I need to find a way to see Ana again without interruptions so we can talk. I can't focus on the contract right now so I look over Ethan's background check everything looks good and I get pissed when it doesn't show if he's in a relationship. I decide to work out to clear my head. I knew seeing Ana would bring up all the feelings I put away.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Chapter 2**

 **A/N: All characters belong to the awesome EL James. I am only borrowing them and the story line.**

 **Hope you enjoy**

 **ANASTASIA**

The rest of the week flew by with all the work I had, it seems my dad has a lot of contracts coming in and Elliot is ecstatic about it.

"Ana are we still on for tonight?" Elliot asks.

Mia came back from Paris this morning so Elliot wanted to go out to dinner to celebrate Mia being home but I know it was more to see Kate. Mia and I always kept in touch and when I would visit my dad we would have dinner with the Grey's. Christian wasn't there when I would go over which I was thankful for.

"Yes, my friend Kate is going, as well as her brother Ethan." I say with a smile knowing Elliot has a thing for Kate and vice versa but neither of them admit it.

"Well even if Mia doesn't come out with us I get to enjoy Kate's company."

I laugh and tell him how nice it is to know how special I am to him only making him laugh. We go over some of the contracts that are coming up and which workers he's putting on what site before we call it a day and head home. When I get home I jump in the shower and get ready. Kate is surprisingly ready before me and I know it's because of Elliot.

"Don't give me that look." Kate tells me with a huge smile.

I laugh as I put my shoes on and she comes to sit next to me. Kate and I talk for a while before Ethan shows up to pick us up. I know Kate will probably go home with Elliot so Ethan will be my ride back. We arrive at the Mile High Club where Elliot is waiting with Mia. I can't help it I run to her as she yells my name making Elliot laugh.

"Calm down you two, I can't take you anywhere." Elliot tells us as Mia and I pull apart.

I introduce Mia to Ethan and Kate but to our surprise Mia and Ethan met in Paris where they started dating and have been keeping in touch.

"We both had a strong physical connection towards each other and when we got to know each other we saw that there was more to it." Ethan tells us.

They tell us more about their time in Paris and it's so romantic. I see how happy Elliot and Kate are even if they don't want to make it official which is silly really. They should learn from Ethan and Mia who look so in love. The guys excuse themselves to go the restroom which makes us laugh.

"To my two best friends." I say raising my glass making Kate and Mia laugh.

"Christian is on his way." Mia tells me with a small smile, she knows as much as my dad which is really nothing.

"I met your brother yesterday when we were walking out of Canlis. He seems so serious and the way he was looking at our Annie here I think he would have had her for dessert." Kate says making us laugh.

I tell her to shut up which makes her smile bigger. The guys come back and this time Christian is with them. He hugs Mia and shakes Kate's hand before sitting next to Mia. Through out the night I can feel Christian staring at me and I do my best to pretend not to notice. I am thankful at how good the conversation has been going it feels like old times except now we have Kate and Ethan. The waiter comes and gives us the check and Christian offers to pay.

"Ana you want us to drop you off?" Elliot asks.

Before I can answer Ethan tells them that he'll drop me off like we originally planned and then he and Mia can head to the movies right after.

"You all swear like we live far I can walk it's not that far, besides the weather is really nice." I say laughing.

"I don't feel comfortable with you walking home." Kate tells me.

Christian offers to take me home. I notice how Mia, Elliot and Ethan all have huge smiles while Kate looks like she's not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing. I don't say anything knowing it's pointless to argue right now. After hugging each other and saying bye they all get into their cars and I can feel Christian right behind me.

"Are you ready?" Christian asks as an SUV pulls up in front.

"I don't need a ride Christian but thank you for offering."

"Ana just let me take you home Elliot and Mia would kill me if they knew I let you walk home besides next time they will personally take you home." I know he's trying hard not to smirk since he knows I wouldn't want Mia or Elliot to give him a hard time about it. He's right they will go out of their way to make sure I get dropped off at home, especially Kate who will talk to me about the dangers of walking home in the evening by myself.

"Fine." I walk towards the SUV where a man who looks like he's from the military is holding the door open.

I thank him and get inside followed by Christian. I introduce myself to the man who's name is Taylor and I can see Christian rolling his eyes and I apologize for Christian's bad manners which makes Taylor laugh.

"I do not have bad manners." Christian says looking at me.

"You didn't introduce me to your CPO, that is bad manners." I smirk at Christian who it thinking of something to say but doesn't.

Taylor informs us that we arrived. I get out quickly but of course Christian gets out and walks me to the door. I told him he didn't have to but of course he said a gentleman always walks a lady to the door. He wouldn't want me to say he has bad manners again. We reach the top of the stairs and as we reach my door I somehow trip which Christian catches me. We both look each other and the pull is there. I forget about everything as he leans closer to me almost kissing me. I clear my throat and straighten myself up.

"Thank you for catching me." I say pulling the keys out of my purse.

"Ana I know you feel it too, don't ignore what we're feeling." I take a deep breath and do my best to calm down.

"It doesn't matter Christian, it's not a good idea. Look we're going to have to see each other since by best friends are dating your siblings so we can be friendly towards each other." I unlock the door and I can hear Christian says my name but I tell him bye before closing the door.

 **CHRISTIAN**

It's been about a week since we almost kissed and I've been going around in circles trying to see how I can approach her but nothing comes to mind. I look at the contract that I am going to be sending over to Elliot and Ray to see if they agree on the terms. Then it hits me I can use this to my advantage. Elliot knows I like to talk to the heads of each department just to get an idea if we need to get rid of anyone or if someone needs to be promoted. I know everyone who is working for Ray is happy and works really hard so I won't be making any changes and like Elliot said they all respect him even though they don't know he's going to be their new boss. I pick up my phone and dial Elliot who answers on the second ring.

"Christian this is a nice surprise." Elliot says and I know he's smiling.

"I need to meet with the head of every department at Steele Inc. just to make sure I got an idea of who your employees are going to be. I want to make sure we don't need to get rid of anyone before you take over." I say in a firm voice hoping he buys into it.

Elliot doesn't say anything for a while and then I hear him laugh. "Christian if you want to talk to Ana why don't you just ask her to lunch or something. I know you two became distant but I'm sure she would give you a chance."

I know Elliot thinks it's that simple because he doesn't know everything from what I know everyone thinks Ana and I just grew apart as I got older.

"Are you going to help me or not?" I ask getting pissed.

"Calm down little bro, of course I'll help. No one wants to see you and Ana together more than me. I'll arrange for her to go to GEH and meet with you. Christian don't mess it up." I can't help but chuckle at his last words.

"Thank you Elliot." I say and before he hangs up he tells me that he'll have Ray send her at one o'clock.

I'm glad time seems to fly by in the morning because before I know it Andrea lets me know that Ana is already here.

"Hello Anastasia, it's good to see you again." We walk into my office and Ana takes a seat in front of my desk and bites her lip which means she's nervous.

"What am I doing here Christian?"

I ignore her question and start talking to her about the job she's been doing if there is anyone that she knows isn't working like they are suppose to be. Ana of course tells me that she has a great team and hasn't had any issues with anyone.

"Not even when you first started? I mean you are Mr. Steele's daughter so many might have thought the job was handed to you. Did you replace the person before you?" I know this is going to piss her off and I don't know why I said it part of me was because I wanted to her to stay longer or just get some kind of reaction from her.

"Is that what you think Christian, that the job was just handed to me? The person who was in charge of accounting before decided to retire since he's been with my dad for many years. I worked and still work really hard and when necessary I work long hours. Just because Ray is my dad doesn't mean I feel I can slack off or take things for granted. I had to go through the interview before my dad hired me. It came down to me and another employee and at the end HR not my dad but the HR department decided I was a better fit. You know my father Christian and you very well know that he doesn't make things easy. You have to work your way to the top is what he always says." Ana stands up and so do I.

"I'm sorry Ana. I just wanted you to stay a while longer and without thinking I just said the first thing that came to mind. I know it's the worst thing I could bring up." I say shrugging my shoulders walking closer to her.

"I knew this whole thing was a lie but my dad insisted it was necessary. Whatever game you're playing needs to stop Christian." I know she's trying hard to stay calm but I can hear the hurt and anger in her voice.

"Ana it's not a game. You know me better than that to know I don't play games." I say in a firm voice.

We look at each other till my phone rings. Ana walks out of my office as I grab my phone. Fucking Jacqueline doesn't she get the hint. I don't want a sub right now, I have enough going on. Fuck I can't believe how bad this went. This isn't the end of it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Chapter 3**

 **CHRISTIAN**

I send Ana a bouquet of gardenias, they were our special flower when we were younger. I let Elliot know what happened and of course he laughed then told me it was pretty fucked up on my part. We decide to go to lunch but I can't help but wonder why Ana hasn't called me yet about the flowers. Before Elliot and I leave I ask Andrea to order another bouquet and to have it in my office because I want to write a note on it before I have them delivered.

"I'm thinking of asking Kate to make our relationship official. I know she isn't seeing anyone else and well as crazy as it sounds I haven't fucked anyone else since Kate, I'm not even tempted to. I mean after we had amazing sex the first time I didn't think it would lead to anything else so I of course hooked up with someone else the following weekend but I didn't feel like I use to I kept thinking about Kate. Then the second time I saw Kate of course you know I had a great time and then one thing lead to another and well you know." I laugh at the way he's rambling on.

"Elliot she makes you happy and I know you make her happy anyone can see it. Go for it don't let her slip through your fingers. It's better to give it a try instead of wondering what if." I say with a smile regretting what happened with me and Ana.

"Christian what happened to you and Ana. I mean she was so in love with you even though she never said it. I could have sworn you felt the same way. You were always so relaxed and acted your age, she always had you laughing and then it all stopped. All of us thought you two would end up dating and maybe get married but it didn't work out that way and the from the sound of it you let Ana slip away. I don't get and don't give me that we grew apart bullshit." Elliot is looking at me waiting for me to say something.

"I just needed to straighten up Elliot, you saw how my temper was and I felt like I would drag Ana down with me so I decided to do my own thing. It was a bad time..." I start to say when Elliot's phone rings and I'm thankful for the interruption.

It's Ray I need to take this, I nod and let him know I'm going to get the check to meet me out in the car. When I go to my office I Andrea tells me that the card is on my desk. I write a simple note to Ana.

"OUR SPECIAL FLOWER. YOU ARE AND HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONLY THING THAT WAS RIGHT IN MY LIFE. I'M SORRY."

I ask Andrea to have Sawyer send them to Ana at Steele Inc. I want to make sure she gets the flowers this time. I'm about to go to my next meeting and I let Andrea know that if Ana calls to let me know right away. Andrea gives me a big smile and nods. The meeting goes rather quickly and takes no more than an hour. I walk back to my office and right as I sit down at my desk Ana barges in and she looks pissed. Andrea is right behind her and I thought she was going to apologize that Ana barged in which doesn't matter but instead Andrea just closes the door. I take it girls do stick together.

"Anastasia, what brings you here?" I ask crossing my arms.

"Cut the crap Christian what are you playing at?" Ana says getting closer to the desk.

"I'm not playing at anything. I wanted to apologize and I meant it. I called you but you didn't answer. When I called your office you didn't take my call either so I send you flowers. I thought you'd be happy that I apologized, because I am sorry Ana." I get up and walk around my desk.

"You didn't just send any flowers Christian you send gardenias, the one flower that I thought had meaning for us and to add insult to injury you send me this note. I'm sure it's a lie." I can see the hurt in her eyes and I hate that she would think I would write something that is not true.

"You know I wouldn't lie about something like that Ana. I'm trying to tell you I'm sorry and I thought maybe you would love the idea that I haven't forgotten about the little things that were important to us. Why are you so pissed? You should be happy that I'm trying to make things right." I'm standing right in front of her now and fuck me she looks so sexy right now.

"Make things right? Really Christian, why now? Not once did you try to contact me before, not once did I hear from you? What is it that you want to make right? What exactly are you looking for?" Ana asks in a firm voice.

"Ana look I fucked up and I'm sorry but I know we can move past it. I just want to start fresh. What you and I have is special and it's still there the electric zing when we touch that strong pull, I know you feel how much stronger it is now. Don't deny it." I try to reach for her hand but she steps back which pisses me off and hurts me as well.

"You haven't answered my questions Christian." Ana says looking me in the eyes.

"It's not like you tried to fucking contact me Anastasia." I see her eyes turn a deeper blue and I know she's beyond pissed now.

"That's what you wanted Christian! It was you who told me that we shouldn't be friends anymore and that I should stay away from you. Do you remember that?, because I remember it clearly. It was a week after your fifteenth birthday and even though you told me to stay away, I insisted on sticking by your side thinking maybe you were just going through something. I would be there when you needed me. We would still spend time together because we couldn't stay apart from each other. I remember how you started spending less and less time with me but I would do the impossible to make time for us even if it was an hour or once week. God I was so pathetic just waiting for you to come to your senses thinking you just needed some time." Ana says and I can hear the hurt in her voice as she wipes the tears away.

"Ana..."

"Don't Christian let me finish because to me it feels just like yesterday. Do you remember what happened the following year? How you treated me on your sixteenth birthday. I was so excited to give you your present. You told me one day you were going to own your own helicopter so I gave you a small model helicopter that you could built yourself. The look you had when you opened it, you were so happy and excited but then you looked at me with a serious face. Your voice was so cold and distant. You looked at me and told me thank you but it wasn't necessary. You told me that I was nothing to you, that our friendship had reached its end and that I need to stop following you around that you had better things to do than babysit me. You were tired of being around me and that if I knew what was good for me I'd leave you alone because you never wanted to see me again. Do you remember that Christian, do you remember how you gave me back the present and told me you didn't need my childish toys. I threw it back at you and told you to keep it. Then you looked me in the eyes and told me how you didn't even like me. You were forced to hang out with me but now that you were getting older you needed to do things differently. Do you know how much that hurt me Christian, how you broke my heart to pieces? I had to hide the pain I felt from everyone so that they wouldn't get mad at you. I made sure you weren't home when ever my dad, Elena and me went over so I wouldn't get you upset." Ana says through a sob.

I reach for her wanting to hug her but she takes a step away from me.

"Ana it was a bad time for me and I'm sorry it really had nothing to do with you. I know you don't believe it but it was all me." I say but Ana only snickers at me like she doesn't believe me.

"Even after all that a big part of me always hoped and believed that there was a reason for you doing that to me for hurting me that way. Maybe there was more to it, something you were hiding because I knew you cared for me. There's no way you could just through away our friendship without good reason. I tried to convince myself that there's no way you can fake that kind of pull we had. Do you remember when I turned eighteen, the party that Elena who by that time I started calling mom even to this day. My dad convinced you to be my date so the guys wouldn't come near me because no guy was good enough for me. You agreed and I was so nervous and surprised when you showed up. We had so much fun it was like nothing had ever happened, like those few years apart never happened. The connection and the pull was still there for us. My parents went over to you parents house trusting us all to be responsible. When everyone left we went for a walk and ended up at he boat house. We talked and laughed you told me about your plans to start your business. The moonlight gave us just the right amount of lighting it felt like only you and I existed. You said that you had a gift for me and you pulled out a single gardenia with a beautiful necklace tied to it. You said a gardenia symbolized purity and love, you told me how this would be our secret flower our special flower." Ana takes a deep breath feeling more calm now but I can still see the tears.

"You looked so amazing, It was hard not to kiss you when I first saw you, but your dad was there and after the way I had acted I was sure you'd kick my ass if I tried anything. I wanted to give you something special, something with meaning. I gave you the gardenia and explained what it meant and the necklace with the star was because you'd always show me the way to you just like the north star. The moon light made your eyes look like a sparkling blue and then you bit your lip and I couldn't help it anymore so I kissed you. It was so soft and passionate full of love and so much more. You deepened the kiss and we made love that night Ana. The words I couldn't tell you I tried to show you with my kiss and our bodies. I let you touch my bare chest even though you've hugged me before but this was different because there was nothing between us just our bodies speaking to each other. It was perfect and the way we fell asleep together was so peaceful." I say walking closer to her and I see her wipe away more tears.

"It was perfect, I knew you were the one and I wanted to show you how much I loved you. It just felt right there was no expectations it just happened. I felt like that was our fresh start, everything would be forgotten. You were so gentle and caring, your kisses said so much to me and I'd hope you'd feel it in my kisses just like it felt it in yours. I woke up with you wrapped around me and I couldn't help but smile. We cuddled for a while and then we got dressed and you walked me back to the house where you gave me passionate kiss. I was so over joyed and I kept telling myself I was right there was a lot more going on than what you led on, that you did care. Of course later I found out how wrong I was. My dad had left me a note on the fridge to come over to your parents house when I was ready because we were having breakfast there. When I got there you acted like if nothing had happened, you went back to being cold towards me. We talked a little bit in front of our parents like if everything was alright and when I was able to get you alone you told me it had been a mistake and that it would never happen again. You weren't thinking straight and it meant nothing to you. You told me to continue staying away from you. I've been doing that Christian as hard as it was for me I stayed away! So don't tell me I didn't contact you because I couldn't risk getting rejected by you and feeling hurt all over again. Don't try to turn this around on me when all I did was respect you wished!" I try to pull Ana closer to me but she pulls away.

"Ana I…

"DON'T! Today you decide to bring back all those memories that i tried so hard to put away, the pain and the heart ache I felt. The gardenia reminds me how I gave myself to you Christian because I trusted you even after everything I believed in you and I loved you. My heart belongs to you and you not only crushed it but you never wanted in the first place, then you decide to just cause more pain by sending me that note. You don't just get to come into my life and expect me to jump with joy that you want to be friends again or whatever it is you want. You fooled me once Christian its not going to happen again so tell me Christian why now?! What is it you expect from me?"

"Ana you have no idea how much I regret what I did, the way I acted but you are right there is more to it. I loved you just as much as you love me, I still do. It was so hard to stay away from you and I knew the only way was to make you think I didn't care. I wanted to reach out to you sooner but I didn't know how. I've asked your dad about you, I never forgot about you Ana. I was there when you got recognized for that great short story you made and for your college graduation. I've missed you every damn day Ana and I hate myself for hurting you so much." I say grabbing her arm and this time I don't let her move away.

I put my hand on her cheek and I'm about to kiss her but she turns her face away.

"You've done very well for yourself you have everything you ever wanted. You made your dreams come true Christian and I'm happy for you."

"Your wrong I don't have everything I want." I say as I grab her hand so we can sit on the couch.

Ana rolls her eyes at what I just said and my palm twitches. I know she'll never be part of my lifestyle but just to know she's part of my life again is enough for me.

"Why did you do it Christian? You said there is more to it, I deserve to know." I run my hands through my hair and take a deep breath.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4: Chapter 4**

 **CHRISTIAN**

"Ana it's complicated. I can't...you wouldn't understand it. There's no reason to talk about it now." Ana is looking at me more intently now.

"You don't want talk about it, I can respect that. Since there's nothing left to say I'll be leaving. We're going to be seeing each other when the family gets together and that's fine with me. I'm sure we can get along but don't expect it to be more than us just getting along for our families Christian. Whatever it is that I won't understand, I hope it was all worth it." Ana stands up to leave but before she can open the door I stand in the way so she can't open it.

"Ana we aren't done talking." I say in a firm voice.

Fuck if it doesn't piss me off that she keeps trying to get away. It was always hard to keep my emotions in control with her, but she always had that affect on me, good or bad. I couldn't think straight and she would fight me on everything. There's nothing submissive about her but it's times like this I wish I could command her to stay and stop questioning me.

"You aren't going to talk Christian so there's no reason for me to stay. Tell me this Christian did it have to do with another girl?" Fuck I wish she hadn't asked because I'm sure that by the look on my face she has her answer. Ana walks away from me.

"Ana it's not what you're imagining."

"Did you have sex with her Christian?" I can't look at Ana right now for some reason I feel ashamed.

We stare at each other and I know Ana isn't going to back down till I give her an answer. She wants to hear me say it, but it's pointless.

"It's not like we were dating Ana! You and I were just friends so it doesn't matter what I was doing at the time." I yell but because I'm mad at myself not her. She looks at her hands instead of me.

"You're right you owe me no explanation, I was simply your friend. I have no right to question you." I can hear her voice crack.

I also know that you didn't have to hurt me the way you did Christian. I still don't understand why you went to such lengths to keep me out of your life." Ana takes a deep breath and before I can say anything she looks back at me and I know she wants to ask me something else. "Is she still part of your life now?"

"What the fuck does that matter at this point..." I start to say.

I look at Ana who is studying me.

"You're right Christian it doesn't matter at this point. After all when we were friends I didn't deserve an explanation and now that I'm nothing to you I have no right to ask."

"Ana….that's not true….I dammit! Yes she's still part of my life but not in the way you think. She's just a friend nothing more, we aren't fucking." I say in a firm voice not breaking eye contact.

"Christian you say you want to make things right and you claim you want me in your life again but I don't think you're sure what you want with me. If you are serious about wanting to restart this friendship with me you need to start by being honest and telling me everything. This is something I need to know Christian so I'm asking you to answer me. Are you involved with someone now?"

Before I can say anything the door opens and Andrea is standing in the door way blocking Jacqueline and Lelia from coming in. "What the fuck are they doing here Jacqueline?"

"Christian darling tell your secretary to let us pass, I swear you need to find someone who knows their place."

"Andrea is the best at what she does and she's my personal assistant Jacqueline so I will ask you to respect her. If she doesn't let you in it's because she knows I'm busy. It's you who need to learn that you can't just barge into my office." I say in a firm voice. I nod at Andrea and she goes back to her desk.

"Come back another time Jacqueline I don't have time for you right now." I say trying to close the door.

"Christian there's no need for you to answer, just forget I what I said. It really doesn't matter." Ana opens the door more so she can step out since I'm blocking the entrance.

"Ana we're not done." I say grabbing her hand to stop her.

"Christian, I ran into Leila and we decided to surprise you. I'm sure your happy to see her just as she is you. Really Christian it's not like you to be rude, there's no need to make her wait." I'm caught of guard at what Jacqueline said.

It takes me a while to process it till Ana clears her throat and I can see the tears in her eyes even though she's trying to hold them back. I know Jacqueline and Leila are looking at us and I'm thankful we are close to the elevators away form them.

"Ana I swear it's not what you think." I say following her to the elevator.

"It's not important Christian, like you said you don't owe me an explanation. I think we've pretty much established that you didn't owe me an explanation when we were friends you sure as hell don't owe me one now that we are nothing." Ana says in an angry but hurt tone.

"Ana that's not what I meant. Fuck! This is total bullshit! I still love you and I never stopped. I'm not letting you walk away from me." Ana laughs through her tears.

"That's something you should have those years ago. Right now you don't have a choice here Christian." She yanks her hand out of my grasp. "You have guest waiting."

"Fuck them Ana! You are what matters right now." The doors are about to close but I stop them.

"Andrea I'm leaving for the evening." I shout as I get into the elevator with Ana. I can see a small smile on Andrea.

I hear Jacqueline call my name telling me that I can't just leave them there.

"You weren't scheduled to see me today Jacqueline and as for Leila she knows she's not welcomed here. Next time you show up make sure you make an appointment, now if you'll excuse me I have something important to take care off." I say as the doors to the elevator closes.

"What do you think you're doing Christian?"

"Leila is not what you think she is, she's not someone important in my life. Whatever arrangement we had together ended five weeks ago, I don't know why she showed up today. I need you to believe me. I don't have anyone in my life right now." I say as we reach the garage.

Ana tries to walk away fast but I catch her and grab her hand so she can't run from me even though I'm pretty sure with those heels she wouldn't get far.

"Let go of me Christian."

"Not a chance in hell." I say as I notice Taylor already at the SUV holding the door open.

"You can't take me by force Christian." Ana says still struggling. Taylor gives me a questioning look and I tell him not to worry Ana is fine.

"Are you going to tell me everything Christian? Are you going to open up to me because we aren't going to go any further till you promise to tell me everything." I let go of her arm and tug at my hair.

"I didn't think so. How bad can it be Christian? I shouldn't be surprised that you'd rather keep your secret than try to make things right with me." Ana tells me.

"You are so frustrating. It's not fair that I'm trying to make things right and you are being so stubborn just to get your way Ana."

"It's not fair! You think you can talk about being fair when I tried so hard not to give up on you. When I kept doing everything to try and make you see that our friendship was worth saving and you couldn't give me the time of day. God Christian you're not being fair by messing with my feelings. You can't just decide that you want to make things right because you want it. Seriously what's going to happen when you get bored of me again Christian, are you going to act all cold and pretend I don't exist again?"

"Ana I didn't get bored of you, I told you it was all me. We keep going around in circles, just don't shut me out completely." I say.

"I'm going home Christian." Ana says goodbye to Taylor and starts walking towards her car.

Feeling defeated I get into the SUV. I know Taylor wants to say something since he keeps looking at me every so often through the mirror. Taylor rarely gets involved unless he has to but from time to time he's given me advise when he thinks I need it or when I've asked.

"What is it Taylor?"

"Sir give her time. The fact that she was still willing to hear you out is a good sign." I'm glad to hear that but I know he has more to say.

"But..."

"But I suggest you tell her what she wants to know. Ana seems like a strong woman with a big heart, I can see the love between the two of you it's very strong. I know you're scared to loose her forever but from what I've seen she might need time to process it but she'll come around and you'll have to be patient. You're already loosing her by not opening up to her, it it really worth it? I just need to tell you though that if you take her to that room and treat her like the others I will kick your ass because she deserves better and you'll need some sense knocked into you." Taylor tells me with a smirk.

"Thank you Taylor I wouldn't expect anything less than that from you." When we arrive at Escala I can see Elliot pulling up.

"What are you doing here Elliot?"

"Hello to you too Christian. I called your office but Andrea said you were going home. I wanted to see if you had the contract ready for me and Ray?" Elliot says as we walk into the elevator.

"Yeah sorry I was distracted and forgot to send it over to you." I say as we walk into the penthouse.

"Do you want to talk about whatever has you like this?" Elliot asks and I look at him as Gail asks if he's joining us for dinner.

"Yes Gail my brother will be staying for dinner." I say as Elliot smiles at me surprised. I usually don't do this with him a lot and we don't do the sentimental shit even though he tries. Usually he's the one to does the talking and I listen but Ana is important to me and I've realized how stupid I was to ever let her go.

"It's Ana. I don't know how to make things right with her and I think I just fucked up more. It's like when she's around I can't find the right things to say. Everything that comes out of my mouth makes things worse." I grab us some scotch and we go sit in the living room.

We talk some more and Elliot gives me some advice and promises to help me out which I'm grateful for. I tell him what happened at the office today and he gives me a sad smile. The rest of the evening goes by fast and he ends up staying at Escala. I go to my bedroom and see that I have a lot of missed calls from Jacqueline. I need to deal with her tomorrow and find out why Leila was with her. I take a shower and do my best to fall asleep hoping that tomorrow will be a better day.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5: Chapter 5**

 **A/N: Thank you all for the follows/favorites and reviews. I'm still testing this story out but I **appreciate the feed back I've been getting. I'm sorry for the mistakes but thank you for letting me know, I already corrected Scarlet was from my other story and I guess without thinking I typed her name. I try to get these chapters up as soon as possible but I guess I need to be more careful and try better to fix my errors. I hope you enjoy this chapter and thank you all once again.****

 **ANASTASIA**

This last two days passed by so fast. Today we are going to dinner at my parents house. Kate has been awesome doing her best to distract me. When I got home that day after being with Christian I had planed to shower before Kate got home but somehow she beat me to it. She had asked if I was alright and after I told her what happened Kate of course said she was going to kick Christian's ass which made me laugh.

"Ana I really do think he loves you and before you protest yes he was wrong for hurting you that way but at least he's trying to take the first step to make it right even if it seems like he's making things worse." Kate told me as she grabbed the ice cream.

"I don't know Kate, I mean why now? It doesn't make sense to me after all this time he waits till he sees me again and all of a sudden we're suppose to be okay. Why not look for me before?" I can see Kate is thinking carefully about what to say next and it's funny that she's trying to make a case for Christian something I never thought she'd do.

"I think he was scared of you rejecting him. From what you've said Christian has pride and I don't think he'd be able to handle you pushing him away like he did you. I know this is going to sound bad but I truly believe that just like a business deal he saw an opportunity and decided to take it. Think about it when you went to drop off that paperwork you were calm and you said you didn't act cold towards him which is probably what he was expecting. Then he took you home after we all had dinner even though you wanted to walk home but still he even walked you to the door and even though you didn't let him kiss you. You weren't angry which to him was a good sign." Kate was smirking at me.

I let everything that she said sink in. After eating ice cream that night and talking some more we went to bed. Those two days we ate a lot of take out and watched movies. Kate lets me know she's ready breaking me from my thoughts. We get to my parents house in no time. I see that Grace and Carrick are already there. After greeting everyone we go sit down in the living room waiting for everyone else to arrive which doesn't take long. Mia introduces Ethan as her boyfriend to Grace and Carrick and before Carrick can question him, my dad lets him know Mia is in good hands with Ethan.

"Thanks Ray I think you just saved my life." Ethan says making us all laugh.

The housekeeper lets us know dinner is ready and we all take our seats. Dinner goes really fast with all of us talking and catching up. Mia and Ethan tell us about their time in Paris, then we all fall to comfortable conversations. Christian, Elliot and I talk about work and it feels nice. Kate, Mia, Grace and mom are talking about going to the spa, while Ethan talks to Ray and Carrick about going to a game. After dessert we all decide to go home. Kate and Ethan are acting like they will never see each other again which is kind of funny. Christian and I are standing next to the cars waiting for the lovebirds to finish saying goodbye to each other.

"Ana I'm really sorry for hurting you and for the way I've been acting. There is no excuse for it and I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart." I look up at him and give him a smile which he returns.

Before I can say anything Kate and Elliot join us with smirks on their face and I know they are up to something.

"Ana would you mind giving Christian a ride home, so Kate can come home with me." Elliot has a huge grin and Kate gives me an apologetic smile.

"We just want to celebrate that we are officially a couple." Kate tells me putting her head on my shoulder with her puppy eyes making me laugh.

"Go have fun you two and don't forget to be safe." I say as they walk to Elliot's car.

I can't believe you still have this old piece of junk." Christian says looking at my old beat up beetle.

"There is nothing wrong with my car, and I don't always use it. It's a great car, it takes me where I need to go and back so be nice."

"It's not a safe car." Christian says opening the door gently like it's going to fall off or something.

"I promise to get you home in one piece Christian." I can't help but smirk.

"Talking about home are you really going to be staying alone at your apartment?" Christian asks like it's the worst thing I could do.

"Yes actually since Kate is staying with Elliot." I tell him as I start driving.

"It's not safe Ana. What if you need something. How can Kate and Elliot be alright with just leaving you alone at the apartment." I can't help but laugh which furstarates him.

"You can't be serious Christian. It's not like it's the first time or I'm a little girl."

"You're not staying alone Anastasia, it's not safe. What if something happens." Christian says in a firm voice.

"And you just expect me to obey you. You're being ridiculous Christian." I can feel him looking at me but I keep my eyes on the road.

"I swear Ana if you were mine I'd have your over my knee." When he realizes what he said he takes a deep breath.

"What's that suppose to mean?" I ask.

"Nothing." Christian tells me.

I notice how tense he his so I decide to ask him about work. His face lights up as he explains the deal he's been working on that will open new opportunities for shipping yards. I pull up to the garage at Escala and Christian turns to look at me.

"Ana I know I shouldn't ask but will you come up with me just to talk. I'll tell about what you want to know."

I want to say no but a bigger part of me needs to know what he's been hiding. I turn off the car and follow him to the elevators. We reach the penthouse which I'm not surprised that's where he lives. I'm introduced to Gail his housekeeper who is a very nice lady. She offers us something to drink and I ask for water while Christian asks for a glass of wine. I notice the large windows and walk towards them and enjoy the view. We sit on the couch after Gail brings us our drinks and Christian is very quiet, it's like he's thinking of how to start.

"You don't have to tell me if you're not ready Christian. Whenever you're ready I will hear what you have to say. I can wait as long as you promise that you will eventually tell me everything." He looks at me thinking about what I just said.

"You deserve to know. We were friends Ana, we had a special connection and you know it. I'm sorry for what I said at the office. I just…..I know once you hear me out you'll realize that it was all me and nothing to do with you. I never thought I hurt you that much. What I have to say it's not easy."

Christian runs his hand through his hair.

"I want to understand you better Christian."

"As you know my temper wasn't always the best and will it seems you were the only one who could calm me down most of the time. But I still had fights here and there, it started to feel like I was losing more and more control. Then there was my touch issue, only you and Mia were able to hug me but even then it was a simple hug. Someone offered to help me gain control at first I didn't want to listen till she made me realize that I couldn't always depend on you to calm me down. Being a teenage boy I started looking at girls differently and with me not wanting anyone touching my chest I knew I wouldn't be able to do the girlfriend thing which started pissing me off. I know it's stupid but I started feeling like I would never have a normal life. I wouldn't enjoy what my parents had. I thought about what would happen when I would go off to college, what would happen then or if you went away. You might not always be there and I didn't want my temper to get worse as I got older. She told me that she would help me gain control of everything. To have a relationship without worrying if I would lose control I was touched on the chest." Christian takes a deep breath and closes his eyes.

I feel awful. I had no idea that's how he felt. Christian looks at me and I nod for him to continue, even though I want to ask who this person is.

"I decided to take her up on her offer so that I can better myself. Its started off slow and simple but then she told me that I couldn't have distractions and I needed to commit 100%. She told me that I couldn't hang out with you anymore and that it was best I cut all ties in order for me to learn the right way. I knew you wouldn't give up on me so easily so the only way was to make it seem like I didn't care but even then you tried to hang on to what we had. I slowly tried to be around you less and less but that wasn't enough for her. The following year I had to make sure you would stay away from me. I was a complete asshole and I'm sorry it really had nothing to do with you and for the record I loved that model helicopter you gave me." Christian takes a drink of his wine before continuing.

"After that she introduced me into a certain lifestyle that I didn't know existed. I noticed how it was getting easier to control my temper. I noticed things didn't set me off as easily." I close my eyes trying to process what he just said.

"What kind of lifestyle Christian? Who is she? Why is it such a secret?" I ask trying to wrap my head around it. I don't get why he would need to stay away from me.

"The details don't really matter Ana." Christian says pacing the room now.

"Tell me Christian. I know for a fact that Grace and Carrick didn't know what you were doing because they thought you started straightening out because of Jacqueline. You were working for her. Always at her...Oh my God. Tell me it's not true." I say feeling sick to my stomach but Christian's expression tells me the answer.

"You had sex with her?! She's older than you Christian you were under age. No wonder you kept it such a secret."

"Ana she helped me. I know it was wrong because she was married but I agreed to do it she didn't force me." Christian tells me coming to stand in front of me.

"How did she help you Christian? You became cold and distant, you hardly spend time with your family. From what Mia would say you were closed off and you still can't be touched. What kind of lifestyle could she have introduced you to Christian?" I ask but Christian just looks away from me.

"Jacqueline introduced me into the BDSM lifestyle. I don't know if you've heard about it." I nod a yes even though I don't know much about it but I remember Kate did a report on it so I have an idea.

"We made an arrangement and me staying away from you was in the contract. If I did something wrong or my grades dropped I would get punished. When I followed the rules or did good I would get rewarded. After some time I decided I wanted to be a dominate and she agreed I would be perfect for that role so I kept our arrangement going." I feel like I'm going to be sick.

"That woman the one that was with Jacqueline at your office that day is she is a submissive of yours?"

"Was. Ana she was, but I told you I ended it Ana. I don't have a contract with anyone at this time." I look up at Christian trying to see what he's thinking.

"So you are still involved in the lifestyle?" I ask trying to stay calm.

"Yes." Christian says and I can see he's tightening his jaw.

"Do you hurt them?" I ask afraid of the answer.

"They know what they are getting into Ana. We have a contract that they need to abide by. It protects both parties involved. They get punished if they don't follow the rules but I have not done something that they didn't want. I haven't hurt anyone. For example they can't touch me because in a sense I have control over their bodies and what they are aloud to do. The reality of it is that at the end they have more control because with two simple words they put an end to whatever it is we are doing. They are called safe words and if it becomes to much for them they just have to say them and I stop immediately." Christian says trying to read me. I just nod.

"Is that what you want from me? To control me? Do you want me to be your submissive?" I ask and part of me regrets the answer.

"I honestly don't know. A part of me would like it, it's all I know but bigger part of me knows that I couldn't do that to you. You deserve so much better and we both know that now one can control you Ms. Steele." Christian says with a smile making me giggle.

"I know you have more questions Ana but I need a refill and something stronger." Christian walks into the kitchen.

I take a deep breath and think about what he just said. It hurts to know he was with other girls. I know he wasn't going to wait for me he's a guy after all but the girly part of me always wanted to think he would. I can understand why Jacqueline has always been so mean to me when no one is watching. She always saw me as a threat but she sure got her way. I clear my thoughts because I don't want to think about her right now it gets me mad.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6: Chapter 6**

 **ANASTASIA**

Christian walks back to the living room and hands me a water bottle. I can see he looks worried and I try to give him a reassuring smile. He tells me to ask away with a small smile.

"Have you fallen in love with any of them? Were any of them long relationships?" I ask now standing and walking towards the window.

"Ana they didn't mean anything to me not even Jacqueline. The longest contract was for about six months. It's a simple arrangement that can end at any time. It's probably hard for you to understand it and you might not believe me but on my part it was just purely fucking. I've never done the girlfriend thing or any of the romance junk. To be honest I rarely spend any time with any of them other than in the playroom or when they would cook for me. I've never slept with any of them that was to personal. It would give them the wrong idea. They would sleep in the guest room." Christian sits on the sofa and I looks at me. I give him a small smile.

"So you would punish them. After you had sex with them and then once you were done you would send them to the room and you'd go to your room?" I ask.

"That pretty much sums it up in a way." He tells me.

"What kind of punishments were there?" My curiosity getting the best of me.

"There's different kinds, do you really want to know?" Christian asks.

"I'm curious." I say shrugging my shoulders.

Christian clears his throat before speaking again. "There's spanking and whipping which are the more basic punishments."

"Wow. So they were rewarded for obeying you?" Christian nods a yes to me. I know he doesn't want to discuss it.

"Their reward was me. I would fuck them and they got to enjoy it." Christian tells me.

I can't help but smile at how crazy that sounds and then I think about how he said Jacqueline would reward him too and shake the thoughts out of my mind.

"There's more to it but you I'm just giving you the run through of it in a way. I never thought that we would be discussing this Ana."

"I'm curious Christian and I want to understand it. To figure out what it is you want from me. I won't judge you because I don't know much but from what you said it doesn't seem too bad."

"I'll take what I can get from you Ana."

"Christian did you get rewarded for cutting me out of your life?" I ask even though I know the answer I want to hear him say it.

"Ana...I..." Christian looks away from me and he clenches his fist.

"Answer the question Christian." I say in a surprisingly calm voice as I close my eyes.

"Yes Ana bu..." before he can finish saying anything else I run to the kitchen and find the trash can and throw up. I feel Christian behind me holding my hair. Once I feel I can't throw up anymore I go to the sink and rinse my mouth. Christian is by my side asking if I'm alright, I nod a yes and he's about to touch my cheek but I pull away from him. I can see the pain in his eyes because I didn't let him touch me.

"You threw away our friendship to have sex with Jacqueline a woman who used your weakness to convince you she was helping you. You say she means nothing to you but yet you consider her a friend to this day. How am I suppose to believe that I mean something to you when you were quick to push me away all for some sexual pleasure." I almost yell and I feel the bile rising in my throat.

I push my way past Christian and get the trash can again because I don't know where the bathroom is.

"Fuck Ana! Tell me what I can do to make you feel better." Christian says when I'm done.

I walk to the couch and sit down. I don't know why I'm still here all I know is right now I just need to sit down.

"It wasn't like that Ana. I know it seems that way but I wanted to have a better future, be a better person for you. I wanted to be what you needed me to be. Jacqueline helped me figure my shit out." Christian says in an almost angry yet calm voice and I can see how sincere he is and how he truly believes it.

"She manipulated you Christian, she was controlling you by making you think you had full control. I can't believe you would still defend her right now." I say getting up and I still feel nasaeus and a little dizzy but I don't think Christian noticed.

"It's what I needed at the time! I knew you wouldn't get it." Christian says now standing in front of me.

"You're still in the lifestyle Christian which means you must still need it. There's no room for me in your life. I can't be what you need, what you want." I say crying which I can't believe I'm doing right now.

"That's not true Ana." I hear Christian tell me.

"The comment about putting me over your knee when we were in the car proves that you want this lifestyle Christian." I say as more tears fall.

"It was stupid and I said it without thinking. Everything I've done has been with you on my mind Ana."

"Yet you did it all without me. You pushed me out of your life. You accomplished your dreams with out me so no Christian it was all for yourself."

"Dammit Ana. I wanted to be able to be with you and not worry about hurting you. As soon as I had my shit right I was going to try and make things right but something always came up. Fuck! Time just got away from me." We stare at each other knowing that neither of us is going to give into the other.

"Were you two still together or doing whatever it is you did when you and I…..that night at the boat house when I…...when we made...when I gave myself to you?" I ask not sure if I want to know the answer.

"Fuck no! I wouldn't...Jacqueline and I had already terminated our agreement. I hadn't fucked her in a while. I hadn't been with anyone for months." Christian tells me running his hands through his hair.

I'm tired Christian, I need to get home." I say grabbing my keys.

"Ana you can't leave. You're not feeling well and I'm sorry that it's because of me. You can stay in the guest room I promise I won't bother you." Christian says with worry in his voice and he's right I don't feel well at all.

"I'll be fine Christian, it will pass once I get fresh air." I say but he stands in front of me.

"Ana I know you got light headed when you stood up earlier. I just chose not to say anything because you would fight me on it. You look so pale just please stay. If you want you can take my bed and I'll sleep in the guest bedroom. " Christian offer. I know he wants to get close to me but keeps his distance.

"Thank you Christian but you don't need to do that."

"At least let Taylor drive you home I know it's not a long drive but what if you get sick while driving." Christian says walking closer to me.

"It's late Christian I wouldn't want you to wake him up. You're right I don't feel good so I will stay for tonight." Christian sighs in relief and then shows me to the guest room.

He lets me know that whatever I need is in the bathroom and he'll bring me something more comfortable to sleep in. After a quick shower I sit on the bed. Christian knocks on the door a few moments later.

"Here's a shirt of mine and some shorts." Christian looks every where but at me and I forget that I'm only in a towel. I grab the clothes and run to the bathroom real quick. I walk into the bedroom to see Christian staring out the window.

"Thank you for the clothes." I tell him getting his attention.

"Is there anything else you need?" Christian asks and I see a hunger in his eyes. I want to feel him close to me to comfort me like he use too. I want to tell him we will be fine but I can't.

"I'm fine thank you." I say as he starts walking past me.

"Christian" I say as he stops in front of me. I can feel his warmth. I wish things could be different that I could just kiss him and tell him how much I missed him.

"You're wrong." I say and Christian looks at me confused not sure what I'm talking about.

"Wrong about what exactly?" Christian asks.

"You were already what I needed Christian. You were you and that's all any of us wanted from you. You were a better person by being you and acting your age and having fun. You are so caring and loving. You had your own way of showing us how much you loved us. I mean your family and my parents, your own way of showing them how much you loved them. I'm sorry you didn't get to date girls because of you're touch issue but when you made love to me for the first time, you let me touch you and you had said it didn't burn." I say taking a step closer to him not breaking eye contact.

"I asked if you were sure and you told me I'm the only person who has ever done that without causing pain. I know that with time you would have been healed. All I ever wanted was you Christian nothing else, just you flaws and all." I slowly put my hands on his chest and he doesn't move away.

"I'm sorry Christian I shouldn't have done that I just needed to see if..." I start to say moving my hands but he grabs them and holds them back on his chest.

"It still doesn't burn Ana." Before I can say anything he kisses me and at first I give into the kiss because our pull is so strong but then I remember what we discussed and I pull away.

"You can't...this isn't right Christian. Please leave." I say wiping the tears.

"I know you feel our love Ana. You can't deny it and I won't give up on us. I will do whatever I need to show you what you truly mean to me." Once Christian leaves I let myself fall on the bed and try to sleep. I need to keep my distance because I lose all focus when I'm around him. As long as Jacqueline is in his life I need to stay out of it. I won't make him choose it's something he will need to realize on his own that she is not a good person like he seems to think.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7: Chapter 7**

 **A/N: You all are amazing. Thank you so much for the reviews/favorites/follows. Hope you all enjoy**

 **CHRISTIAN**

I couldn't really sleep and it wasn't because of my nightmares. I kept thinking about some of the things Ana said. Jacqueline had made me believe that this was what I needed because I was headed in the wrong direction. I decide to go to check on Ana. I walked into the room slowly hoping not to wake her. I couldn't help but watch her sleep for some reason it calmed me to see how peaceful she looked. I wanted to get into bed with her but I knew I couldn't. I decide get ready before Ana wake up. I didn't want her to try and sneak away even though I wouldn't blame her. I had Gail make breakfast. I know Ana has made up her mind about me but a part of me is hoping that she gives me a chance to make it up to her. I know I don't deserve it. I always had the intention of getting Ana back in my life I just always felt it wasn't the right time but seeing her again made me think that it was sign.

Jacqueline would be pissed if she knew how weak I seem right now but Ana means a lot to me and I don't give a fuck what she thinks.

"Good morning dear, breakfast will be ready in a few minutes." I hear Gail say breaking me from my thoughts.

I'm grateful that she didn't give Ana a chance to turn her down. I look up at Ana who is still wearing my clothes and fuck she looks hot in it. I know she took a shower since her hair is wet.

"Good morning Gail." Ana greets her as she sits next to me.

"Are you feeling better?" I ask and she nods a yes to me. We eat our breakfast in silence and it's killing me that she hasn't said anything.

"Thank you for opening up to Christian I know it wasn't easy." Ana looks up at me with a sad smile.

I know she is going to say more but is trying hard not to cry. It breaks my heart because this feels like goodbye.

"Ana I'm sure you think I'm a monster. You don't approve of the lifestyle I'm in. You know how fucked up I really am but I know if we take things slow even if it's just as friends we can repair that bond we've always shared." I say grabbing her hand.

"You are not a monster that has not once crossed my mind. I don't quite understand the lifestyle but I won't judge you for it either. You have your reasons for believing it's what you need and I can understand that. I still believe Jacqueline was wrong for involving you at such a young age even if you agreed to it. You have a lot going on Christian and I know you are smart enough to figure it all out. You say you're fucked up which only proves that Jacqueline didn't help you like you said. Technically I think she just messed with your mind to have control over you and I know you don't see it that way but it's the truth. I don't want to keep arguing about Jacqueline especially since you will keep defending her proving that you will take her side. You know how I feel, I've given you my opinion on it so there's not much to say. I know who you truly are Christian and so does your family. You just need to see how great of a heart you have because you're good person you are. I think it's best that we go back to not being part of each others lives."

"Don't shut this down before we can have a second chance Ana." I want to say more but Ana stops me as she wipes a tear.

"I gave you us a second chance by giving myself to you, thinking that you finally realized what we had was worth more. Thinking that you knew what we had was real. You can tell me how much I mean to you Christian over and over again but the fact is that you pushed me out of your life for sex. That says a lot more than your words. Jacqueline manipulated you into choosing and you chose her. That is the reason it's better we stay away from each other not because of what you do or the lifestyle. I'm sure you aren't the only one in the world that practices it. It's not because you feel like you're fucked up because I know that when and if you ever decide to clear you mind and think things through you'll realize the truth." I'm surprised at how calm Ana sounds by telling me this and I barely realize that I have tears rolling down my cheeks.

Ana reaches up to wipe them away. I feel to choked up to say anything. "I'm so happy for you Christian you were able accomplish your dream and I know it was all you. As much as I wish I could be an important part of your life I can see I'm not. Goodbye Christian." Grabbing her keys she gets into the elevator.

I feel numb just like when I was so cruel to her all those years ago. I think that's the only reason I was able to deal with Jacqueline's punishments because I couldn't feel much of anything knowing how I treated Ana. Fuck! Ana can't walk out on me like that. She loves me I felt it in the way she kissed me last night even if she pulled away from me. I see it in her eyes. I decided to get some work done to distract me but it doesn't work. I can't get Ana out of my mind. I always thought about her everyday but I was determined to gain control. Jacqueline offered to help me so I focused on that but how much did she really help me if I still consider myself fucked up like Ana said. I grab the glass from my desk and slam it against the wall.

Fucking hell did I really ruin what me and Ana had just to please Jacqueline. Did I really not gain anything at the end. I know Flynn has been trying to get me to see it that way for some time now but I didn't want to hear it. When Jacqueline and I ended our agreement I felt relieved. I remember when Ray asked me to be Ana's date for her party I was more than happy to do so. Being with Ana always felt right. I felt remembering thinking like maybe this was our chance. The night we made love it felt so amazing and when she touched my chest it made me feel like I was finally giving her all of me. The next morning waking up next to Ana I felt so happy, I was complete.

It wasn't till I went to my parents house I saw Jacqueline and she had mentioned how she had a few subs lined up for me and I felt like crap. I didn't want Ana to be part of that life, she deserves better and I somehow convinced myself that I couldn't give her what she needed. Yet now that I think about it I was able to make love to her and not once did I think about what could go wrong or hurting her. It's something I haven't been able to do with anyone else or wanted for that matter. Even though I tried it with Leila who had been my sub for about six months. After being great I asked her what she wanted as a reward and she asked me have regular sex. I hesitated and turned her down but of course she made me feel bad saying she never asked for anything. I told her she had to still respect my hard limits and not to read into it because it was just sex. Leila had tried to touch my chest which pissed me off because she knew it was a hard limit for me. I had tensed up and even though she barely grazed me with her fingers I still felt the burning sensation. I ended up tying her ands to the bed in the playroom. When I tried to do things slow it did nothing to me. I didn't enjoy it for some reason it felt wrong and I couldn't get hard. I ended up punishing her for trying to touch me then sent her to the guest bedroom. The next morning I when we went back to the playroom, things felt wrong. I couldn't focus. The following weekend I ended our contract.

How the fuck could I not see things like Ana did. How did I not realize it before. It can't really be that simple, I refuse to believe it. I did this for her to give her the world. What good that did, I haven't even enjoyed any of it with Ana.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8: Chapter 8**

 **CHRISTIAN**

Two months have gone by, two fucking months and I haven't spoken or seen Ana. I tried calling her a few times but she refused my calls. I decided to respect her wishes for now but hell I'm not giving up on her that easy. Taylor walks into my study to let me know Jacqueline is on her way up.

"I'll be right out." I tell him.

I walk to the living room where Jacqueline is waiting with a huge smile.

"Christian what has been going on with you? You've been ignoring my calls and when you finally answer you make the conversation short."

"I've been busy Jacqueline." She eyes me suspiciously and I know she's trying to figure out my mood.

"I have a few subs lined up for you. I can have them come by today if you'd wish." Jacqueline hands me a folder with the pictures and information of the subs.

"I'm not interested right now Jacqueline. I told you this already." I say in a firm voice.

"Christian it's obvious you need one, look at how tense you are." She stands up and I know she's getting pissed.

"I've been fine without one."

"I can see you are not fine darling. Why don't you tell me what is going on with you so I can help you out." Jacqueline tells me with a fake smirk.

"I'm really busy Jacqueline if you have nothing more to discuss I'll get back to work." I say walking back towards my office.

"It's that little Ana isn't it? She has you questioning yourself. I told you she wouldn't understand what you need. I'm sure she judged you. She's a smart little tart she can really make you second guess yourself. You are smarter than that Christian don't let her get into our head." Jacqueline says making me stop in my tracks.

"You don't know shit Jacqueline!" I can see her smile like she's planning something.

"I can see how she's still a touchy topic for you. You see Christian she has a certain affect on you and she knows it. Ana tries to use it to get her way. Did you tell her what you need? Is that why she's not here. Does she want to change your ways? Or let me guess she's playing hard to get by telling you to stay away from her, just because she knows it's not going to happen because you like a challenge. Don't let her make you into the weak little boy you use to be darling. You are stronger and better because of me. You needed to get her out of your life and out of your head so that you could accomplish everything you have now.

All that little girl was doing was making you into what she wanted you to be. Ana wanted you to depend on her so she would need to keep her in your life."

"Shut the fuck up Jacqueline! You don't know what you are talking about." I shout.

"Tell me I'm wrong Christian! Did you tell her what it is you enjoy? What you are into? Don't play into her hands. Ana should be happy by everything you have and the fact that you want to share it with her, should make her feel privileged. I've always told you she was no good for you Christian but you always insisted on someday having her back in your life but seriously she wouldn't be a good sub for you unless you let me break her for you." Jacqueline says with a huge smile.

"You will not touch her Jacqueline. She will not be part of that. Now get out before I have Taylor throw you out." I say walking into my bedroom and slamming the door. I know Jacqueline is wrong about Ana.

"What do you want Elliot?" I say answering my phone.

"Relax little bro. I wanted to see if you wanted to go to mom's together." I stay silent not knowing what to say.

"Christian don't tell me you forgot about the anniversary dinner tonight." Fuck I did forget.

"Taylor will take us. Just come over and we'll leave as soon as you get here." I hang up the phone and Gail tells me my suit is in the closet. I jump in the shower and get ready fast. I walk into the living room where Elliot is on the couch waiting for me with a huge smirk.

"Christian Grey forget something important that's a first." Elliot tells me while laughing.

I flip him off making him laugh harder. We arrive at our parents house just as Kate and Ana are pulling up.

"Why didn't you come with Kate?" I ask because now I'm curious.

"Well my beautiful girlfriend decided to have a spa day with Ana and Mia. Plus she didn't want Ana to come alone so I agreed to meet her here." I nod at Elliot and we get out of the SUV.

"Wow you look hot baby." Elliot tells Kate making her laugh. We all greet each other and I can tell Ana is a bit nervous. I wonder if she told anyone what happened which I doubt because neither Elliot or Mia have questioned me. Kate is the only one that gives me a suspicious look but hasn't said anything.

"Ana you should walk in with Christian since we are all sitting at the same table." Kate tells Ana who smiles at me and links her arm with mine. I look down at her as we walk behind Kate and Elliot but all she does is look ahead and doesn't say anything.

"Christian, Annie, you're finally here. It's nice to see the two of you together like this." Elena says with a huge grin and I can't help but smile. I give Elena a kiss on the cheek as Ana hugs her.

"Mom don't make a big deal of it. Kate suggested me and Christian to walk in together since we're sitting at the same table." Ana says and Elena laughs then winks at me.

"What ever you say dear, I'll see you two later." Elena walks away leaving us alone.

We continue to greet people as we reach the table where our family is. We all fall into a comfortable conversation as dinner is being served.

"Grace, Carrick happy anniversary. It's nice to see that you two are still so much in love." Jacqueline says as she hugs my mother then greets everyone else as she introduces Leila as well.

"I was thinking maybe Christian would be kind enough to be Leila's date tonight." Jacqueline says looking at Ana.

I can feel Ana tense next to me but continues to eat her meal and I can see Kate and Mia eyeing me.

"I already have a date Jacqueline." I say in a firm voice and Ana looks up at me. I can see our parents smiling big.

"I wasn't aware that you were bringing anyone. You never bring a date so I thought I would introduce you to Leila." I know Jacqueline is pissed.

"You know my son doesn't like blind dates Jacqueline besides you heard him he already has a date." My mom tells Jacqueline as nice as possible.

"I would like to meet the lady who convinced you to bring her as your date." Jacqueline says knowing very well it's Ana. I notice my parents trying to figure out what Jacqueline is up too.

"It didn't take much convincing actually." Ana says with a smile.

"Since I'm left without a date maybe you'll let Christian have one dance with me later." Leila says and I know she's trying to get to Ana.

"That would be up to Christian. I don't control him but you shouldn't hold your breath Christian doesn't like to dance to much." Ana tells Leila.

"Ana's right. Besides she's my date and I wouldn't want to disrespect her by dancing with someone else who isn't family." I say in a firm voice and I can see Jacqueline is fuming now.

"You are a very lucky lady, having Christian all to yourself tonight." Jacqueline tells me sarcastically.

I can tell mine and Ana's parents are getting upset. I need Leila and Jacqueline to leave before they start to ask questions. I don't get why she's acting so possessively.

"I'm the lucky one. As beautiful as she looks tonight I'm not going to risk someone else come and swoop her away from me." I say.

Leila's eyes open wide, Jacqueline is so pissed but is trying to smile and everyone else has huge grins. Ana is blushing and even though she is smiling I know she's upset. Jacqueline and Leila finally leave the table as my dad stands to make a toast to my mother.

"Grace my wife, my friend, my lover you are the best thing to happen to me. Without you I wouldn't have found true happiness. I remember when we met I told myself I wasn't good enough for you but I decided I was going to marry you somehow. A big part of me thought it wasn't going to happen but I was going to try my best to make you mine. I honestly don't know how it happened but I thank my lucky stars everyday that you gave me a shot and became my wife. I'm sorry that you got stuck with me and all my faults but as selfish as it is I wouldn't have it any other way. To many more wonderful years I love you with all my heart." My dad says kissing my mom as everyone laughs.

The music starts for people to dance and our parents start dancing followed by Ethan and Mia. We see a lot of the other guest join in as well. Kate whispers something to Ana which makes her giggle as she disappears with Elliot.

"You do look beautiful Ana." I tell her.

"Thank you. You didn't have to pretend to be my date Christian." I grab Ana's hand and look deeply into her eyes.

"Who said I was pretending. You Ms Steele are my date and you owe me a dance." Ana laughs as I drag her to the dance floor. I don't know how many songs we dance because I'm having a good time.

"I've been thinking about what you said Ana and I think you've opened my eyes a bit." Ana looks up at me like she's accomplished something.

"Let's just leave it at that." I say making her smile even bigger.

Ana tells me that it's a start but she still hasn't changed anything. We decide to take a break to get some water. Ana excuses herself to go to the ladies room. Kate and Mia offer to go with her which I feel better about it since Jacqueline is still around. I excuse myself from the table as my phone rings and I have to take the call since it's about the deal with the shipping yards. I start walking back to the table when Jacqueline stops me, of course Leila is right behind her.

"After what we discussed earlier you still bring her as your date non the less." Jacqueline says in her dominate voice which does nothing to me.

"What I do is non of your business Jacqueline!"

"Christian I'm just looking out for you. I don't want Ana to keep distracting you. It's like she walks back into your life and it becomes a mess. You can't seem to focus, I get that you need to keep up appearances for the family but Leila is a better fit." Jacqueline is now calmer.

"This is not for appearances Jacqueline and Leila will never be a better fit so quit the shit with bringing her around it's not going to happen." I say as calmly as possible so people walking by won't think we are arguing.

"I'll stop pushing Leila on you if you agree to take a step back and just think things through."

Jacqueline looks at something behind me while putting her arms on my forearms and leans in close. Leila is now standing next to me. "Of course anything to please you sir." She says.

Before I can tell her to go to hell I turn to see Ana watching us. Fuck that's the last thing I need. I walk past Jacqueline towards Ana but she starts walking away as fast as she can in heels. Before I can reach her she sits at the table not giving me time to talk to her. Mia gives Ana a questioning look but Ana smiles and tell her everything is fine. The rest of the night goes smoothly and as much as I try to get Ana alone she finds ways not to let it happen. I know Ana is planning to stay with her parents tonight since it's late. I think Ethan and Mia are going to do the same to give my parents some privacy.

"Ray since it's late do you think I can stay over at your place?" He gives me a huge smile.

"Of course son you know you're always welcome there, but don't think I'll let you get away with sneaking into my daughter's room like when you were younger." Ray says making me choke on my champagne.

Ana pats my back and I can see everyone is surprised even though they knew Ana could always give me quick hugs but this is different. I even notice Jacqueline and Leila looking at us from a distance and it's like they want to kill Ana.

"Yes we knew but since you were young and it was the only way you'd sleep we decided to let it go on but now you're older, well it's different now." My dad says laughing.

All of the guests are pretty much gone now so we all decide to head over to Ray's house.

"I know what you're up to Christian and it's not going to work." Ana whispers to me in the SUV so the others won't hear. I made sure Ana and I sat all the way in the back by being the first ones to get in.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I respond back making her give me a stern look which makes me smile.

We park in front of the house and everyone gets out. Since I'm in the way of Ana getting out I tell Taylor to close the door. I hear Kate ask if we're coming but Taylor tells her we'll be out in a minute. Before Ana can get Kate's attention I cover her mouth as gently as possible which pisses her off.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9: Chapter 9**

 **A/N: So here's another chapter hope you all enjoy!**

 **CHRISTIAN**

"What is your problem Christian?!" Ana asks punching me in the arm after I let her go. I forgot Ray taught her how to punch when he was teaching her self defense.

"You're trying to avoid being alone with me Ana and this was the only way I could think of to get you alone. I shouldn't have done that but you wouldn't have talked to me otherwise and you know it." We stare at each other for a moment and it's like we are silently arguing.

"I don't want you to misunderstand what you saw earlier."

"I know they were trying to upset me Christian. I know they set it up but I also know that Jacqueline was letting me know that she's always going to be part of your life

"I will deal with Jacqueline and Leila. Jacqueline isn't as important as you make her out to be. My focus is you. I'm trying here Ana but I'm not sure what I need to do." Ana is now facing me completely. I can see her really thinking.

"There's nothing to do Christian. The fact that you need to ask... You have made your life without me in it and you've been doing great. Keep doing what you've been doing all this time without me. It was easy for you the last to times so I'm sure you won't have a problem this time. You are used to being with experienced woman that I can't compare too and you have wants and needs that I can't fulfill. We can move forward from here Christian like we've been doing but I can't be in you're life when you yourself don't know what you want from me. Being friends is all I can offer but not like we use to be, it's too hard for me. We'll hang out when we have family things like this or when we go out as a group but that's it. God knows I wish things would have been different but this is what you wanted and what you chose Christian."

My phone rings before I can say anything. I ignore the call but it rings again and when I pull it out of my pocket I see that it's Jacqueline.

"You might as well answer the queen before she has a fit." Ana tells me sarcastically and part of me is wondering if she's jealous and it makes me smile but at the same time it pisses me off.

Fuck this is not how I planed this conversation to go. I know she wants to be with me, I can see it in her eyes. I get out of the SUV so Ana can step out. I want to keep her in there but I know that no matter what I say she won't believe me at this point.

Ana walks over to Taylor then leans over and whispers into his ear which pisses me off. I see Taylor nod then smile.

"Taylor you can go back to Escala. I'll be staying here and I'll call you in the morning." I say in a firm voice causing Ana to roll her eyes.

We walk inside and Ana says good night before going straight to her room. I walk into the kitchen and grab myself a glass of scotch since I know where Ray hides the good stuff. I'll get him a bottle later.

Elliot comes to join me and gives me a smirk.

"Fuck off bro, I'm not in the mood right now." I tell him.

"I'm just here to keep you company since Kate went to sleep." I nod and hand him the bottle of scotch.

We talk about taking a trip up to the cabin which is a great idea but it will be weeks before we can make it happen since we both have a lot going on right now especially with Elliot taking over Ray's business.

After finishing the bottle we decide to call it a night before we go upstairs to the room. We change clothes and get into the beds that Ray set up for us in this room. I laugh at how we are sharing a room just like when we were kids.

"Christian don't give up on Ana if you love her the way I think you do fight for her no matter how much she tries to resist don't let her go again. You've fucked up enough already just be smarter about how you approach her." Elliot tells me as he turns around to face the wall.

I smile at the fact that he still thinks I have a chance. "Thanks Elliot."

The next morning I head downstairs to find Ray in the kitchen. I look around wandering where Ana is. Ray notices and he gives me a smile.

"Ana went for a jog this morning she should be back soon." I chuckle as he hands me a plate of pancakes.

We sit down at the table and start to eat.

"Is Ana seeing anyone?" I ask without thinking.

Ray looks at me and then takes a bite of his pancakes but before he can answer Ana comes walking in.

Ray lets Ana know that the pancakes are on the counter. "What were you guys talking about?" Ana asks looking between me and Ray.

"Christian here wanted to know…" Ray starts to say with a smirk.

"If he thought it was a good idea to go up to my cabin in a few weeks as a family trip.

Elliot mentioned it last night and I wanted to make sure you parents could join us so I can make arrangements." I say as Ray just nods his head while smiling.

"Sounds like a good idea. In a few weeks Jose will be coming into town maybe he can join us. He called me this morning to let me know."

What the fuck! Who the fuck is Jose. I look at Ana who just drinks her orange juice. I look at Ray who has a huge grin because I'm sure he noticed my reaction at hearing Ana talk about some fucker.

"Who's Jose?" I ask in my calmest voice possible.

"He's a friend from college. He use to hang out with me and Kate sometimes." We finish our breakfast. I help Ana wash the dishes.

"What did you tell Taylor last night?" I ask as we walk into the living room.

"That Mr. Grey is none of your business."

"It is my business because he's my CPO." I say. Ana looks at me like she's challenging me.

"That might be so but if I wanted you to know I wouldn't have whispered it in his ear." Ana says and I swear I just want to kiss her and then spank her for not telling me.

"I'll find out one way or another Ana."

"We'll see." Ana says walking away from me.

I'm about to go after her when Elliot, Kate, Mia and Ethan walk down stairs. Ray and Elena leave to run some errands and tell us they'll bring us back some diner. We are all sitting in the living room watching some show and talking. "Ana did Jose call you this morning?" Kate asks Ana.

"Yeah he said he'd be here in a few weeks for a gallery opening." Ana tells her with a smile. Elliot nudges me when he notices me clench my fists.

"Who's Jose?" Elliot asks.

"Are you talking about Rodriguez?" Ethan asks as both Kate and Ana nod a yes.

"He's a friend from college." Kate says.

"He had a thing for Ana probably still does." Ethan says.

"Why didn't you date him?" Mia asks.

"I see him as a friend nothing more and I'm sure Ethan and Kate are exaggerating because he never asked me out." Ana says shrugging her shoulders.

"That's because he was afraid you'd reject him. He'd rather have you as friend than nothing at all." Kate says winking at Ana.

"He also thought you and I were dating remember at one point and we never corrected him." Ethan says with a smile.

"That's because our Annie here knew deep down inside he wanted her." Kate says laughing.

"Oh my God you two are awful we had just met him and well it just went from there. It's not like he ever really asked."

"So how do you know he thought you and Ethan were together?" Mia asks.

"Jose told me how lucky I was to have a beautiful and gorgeous girl like Ana. If only he knew how annoying she really was." Ethan says making everyone laugh. Ana sticks her tongue out at him while laughing.

"Did you two ever date?" I ask curious because when I first met them I thought they were together.

"No we see each other more like siblings. I only act like that when Ana doesn't want guys to hit on her but it'd be like wanting be with Kate which is just gross." Ethan says which makes me smile.

Elliot looks at me with a smirk and I just roll my eyes. We continue to talk and after dinner we decide to go home. I call Welch on the way to Escala to do a background check on Jose since I know his last name now.

After Elliot drops me off I go straight to my study where Taylor is setting down a file on my desk. He lets me know that it's Jose's background check I'm glad Welch got this to me fast.

"Taylor what did Ana whisper to you last night?" Taylor turns to look at me and smiles.

"Ms Steele simply informed me that next time you pull a stunt like that she was going to kick your ass. Warning me that even though I'm your CPO which means I protect you, it would be wise for me to stand back unless I wanted her dad to kick my ass. Basically letting me know that you will that not do that again." Taylor says with a chuckle and I can't help but laugh.

I look over the report and he's clean and he's doing very well for himself. I need to find a way to keep him away from Ana there's no way in hell I a going to let him be with her. She belongs to me. After answering a few emails I decide to go to bed.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10: Chapter 10**

 **ANASTASIA** (two months later)

Jose came to Seattle last night since the gallery postponed the opening due to some remodeling made to the building they were going to use. Christian has kept his distance in his own way but there have been a few times where he has had Mia arrange for all of us to go out to dinner which is nice but I need to keep my heart guarded. The last time we talked he told me that he wasn't in the lifestyle and wasn't going to contract any subs. I wanted to ask him questions but then Mia and Ethan had joined us back at the table so I wasn't able too.

I can't deny it made me happy to hear but I still feel like it can't be that simple. I can't help what role Jacqueline still has in his life. I'm at the Mile High club waiting for Mia who is late which is odd since she said she was on her way. I pull out my phone just as she walks in.

"I'm so sorry Ana. I was at Ethan's and forgot my phone so I had to go back to pick it up since I waiting for an important call about a building I want to get." Mia tells me as she hugs me.

"It's fine Mia don't worry besides Elliot gave me the rest of the day off so we can get ready for tonight's gallery opening." The waiter comes and gets our order.

"That's great we should call Kate and go to the spa to get a facial and our nails done. Then we'll head to your apartment to get dressed. The guys can pick us up from there." Mia says really fast making me laugh.

Mia tells me about the building she wants to get. I can see how excited she is about it.

"Ana?" I hear my name I turn around to see Jose with two other men.

I get up to hug him and then introduce him to Mia. We make small talk, then he heads over to his table. I see Mia smiling big and I look at her confused.

"You know I have to agree with Kate and Ethan, your friend Jose has a thing for you." Mia says laughing.

"Oh gosh not you too Mia." I say rolling my eyes.

"Oh come on Ana how can you not see it. That hug was longer than necessary. I saw how you tried to pull away but he made sure to keep his arm around you while introducing you to those two guys and the way he was looking at you it was like you were his prime rib." Mia says laughing hard.

I guess a part of me did know. I just didn't want to accept it because I don't see him that way at all and I don't want to ruin our friendship. I have to be more careful how I act around Jose so he doesn't get the wrong idea.

"He's really cute." Mia says breaking me from my thoughts.

"I guess but I just don't see him that way. I don't feel any attraction to him." I say shrugging my shoulders as Mia just keeps smiling like she's planning something which can't be good.

"You know my brother is an idiot for not making things official between the two of you. I was sure he was going to do it after your birthday party but then you guys just started acting like strangers again. I know you still love him Ana. As much as I hope he wins you over I also know that you can't wait on him forever."

I give Mia a small smile just as our food comes. Thankfully we change the subject and talk about tonight. I call Kate who is excited about meeting us at the spa. I can't help but laugh at how alike Mia and Kate are. We walk out when I realize I forgot my purse. I tell Mia to go ahead without me I'll meet her and Kate at the spa since it's not that far. I go back up to the restaurant and luckily my purse is still on the chair. I quickly get back into the elevator and get all the way to the back leaning my head on the wall. I see Christian with Jacqueline and some other girl. I turn towards the wall hoping they don't recognize me but who am I kidding Christian can pick me out in a crowd.

"Darling don't be so upset. I know you weren't expecting me to bring anyone but still you can't deny she's perfect." Jacqueline says.

"Jacqueline I already told you I was done and I don't have time for this shit. Now is not the time or place to discuss this." Christian seems extremely pissed and distracted.

"You are so tense darling. Let Lily take care of you." Jacqueline says nodding to a beautiful girl. I notice the girl doesn't look up at Christian.

"Sir tell me what you want me to do."

Christian takes a step closer to her. "You would be perfect bu..." Before he can finish saying anything else I gasp.

Christian turns to look at me and Jacqueline is smiling while Christian looks surprised to see me. I don't know why it seems like this elevator is taking longer right now but all I want to do is run out. I'm glad that there are a few other people in here who are seem oblivious to what's going on.

"Fucking hell!" Christian shouts running his hands through his hair.

The elevator doors finally open to the ground floor and I push through the people to get out. I know I won't get far because I can feel Christian hot on my heels. He stands in front of me and I notice Taylor is close by. I hadn't even noticed him.

"Ana I was about to tell her that she wasn't for me. I didn't lie to you when I told you that I wasn't in the lifestyle anymore. I don't need it. Jacqueline..." Christian starts to say when I interrupt him.

"Christian it doesn't….., you don't need..."

"It does fucking matter Anastasia! I'm trying to explain it to you because I don't need you to get the wrong idea or think that I lied to you. I'm trying to get my shit together so you and I can be together. You can't keep trying to fucking walk away from me." Christian says in a strong voice making me look up at him. "Ana I'm not interest in that girl or any one else but you. I swear it. Jacqueline brought her to lunch without me knowing. We didn't even eat because I got up to leave and they followed me."

"I believe you Christian. I just…thank you. I didn't mean….. its hard…" Is all I can say. "Mia and Kate are waiting for me so I need to leave. I'll see you tonight at the opening."

Christian looks at me with a soft smile and nods. I start walking towards the spa. I notice Jacqueline and that girl walking out and they look for Christian who is getting into his SUV with Taylor which makes me smile. I really hope he realizes that Jacqueline is bad for him really soon. We arrive at Jose's show and are greeted right away. Kate introduces Jose to Christian and Elliot then he comes to give me a hug and a kiss on the cheek.

I can see Christian tense up, Mia pulls me towards her and whispers that it's going to be a fun night.

"Show us which of our pictures made you famous" Kate says wiggling her eyebrows making us laugh. Jose grabs mine and Kate's hands and walks us through the crowd leading us to a room in the back. I know everyone is following us. Kate and I look around and the huge portraits he has of us. There's two of me being silly and laughing. There's one of Kate where she's studying and it's so simple and natural she looks beautiful. Then there's another one of me standing by my old car.

"Babe I didn't know you actually studied." Elliot says making Kate slap him on the arm and all of us laugh.

"You look beautiful Ana." Christian says coming to stand next to me. Jose clears his throat getting our attention.

"These pictures have been the main attraction. I've been able to sell most of my other work. I also have some other portraits that will be displayed so you're pictures are officially on sale as of tonight." Jose says with a huge smile.

We all congratulate him and he excuses himself when his manager comes to get him so he can greet some important people. Elliot and Christian go get us some drinks while we continue to look around. Kate and Mia go to the ladies leaving me and Ethan alone.

"You need to take a chance Ana. Christian is crazy about you and I know he fucked up big but from what Elliot's told me he's really trying. I'm not saying to just jump in, but give the guy a break. I know for a fact that he regrets what he's done. I know there's more to it but I'm sure there's a way around it Ana there has to be." Ethan says giving me a tight hug.

"How do you know there's more to it?" I ask.

"Because you Ana dear would have given Christian another shot if it just had to do with what he did in the past. I know you would have given him a hard time about it but you would have given in by now." Ethan says kissing the top of my head while still hugging me.

"Dude your dating my sister, so back up away from Ana." Elliot says making us laugh.

We finally decide to go home so we find Jose to let him know we're leaving. Jose gives me a tight hug and I pull away fast without making it awkward.

"Would you like to go out to dinner tomorrow?" Jose asks looking at me.

I'm about to say no when Christian invites himself. I look up at him confused but relieved at the same time.

"We can all meet at the Mile High Club and the we can have a few drinks after." Christian says.

Jose tries to cover his anger and tells me to let him know the time and then he goes back into the building.

"You know he was only inviting Ana right?" Mia tells Christian.

"He didn't specify her name so no. We all have to eat anyway so why not make it a night out." Christian says shrugging his shoulders.

We all get into the car and go home. Part of me is glad Christian jumped in because I didn't want to say no to Jose in front of everyone but I know I'll have to talk to him. My phone beeps letting me know I have a message. I open it up to see that it's Jose asking if we can talk after dinner tomorrow. I don't bother responding back, I'll just wait till the morning.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Hope you all enjoy**

 **Chapter 11: Chapter 11**

 **ANASTASIA**

Dinner with Jose was good everyone got along great and there was no tension. I couldn't help but laugh when Christian made sure I sat next to Elliot and then he sat next to me forcing Jose to sit between Ethan and Kate since Mia was next to Ethan. Jose told us how the pictures were sold and he was very excited for the next set that he was already working on. After dinner Jose offered to take me home which Christian was not happy about and he didn't even try to hide it. I knew this was my chance to talk to Jose so I accepted. We said bye to everyone before we left. We decided to go to a little coffee shop close by. I can't help but look around because I'm expecting to see Christian pop out somewhere.

"So how have things been going for you? It's been a while since we've last talked." Jose tells me with a smile.

"They've been great. I actually love what I do. Accounting isn't as bad as I thought it would be. I didn't think I was going to enjoy it so much. But tell more about what the future has in store for the famous Jose Rodriguez." We both laugh.

"It's amazing Ana I never thought my photos would be so popular. I have tours lined up for a lot of gallery openings where famous people want to see my work. I love that I get to explore new places while meeting new people and being able to just capture a moment on camera. To be able to share it with others to enjoy." I really am happy for Jose to be living his dream.

"Ana are you dating anyone right now? I mean now that Ethan seems to be with Mia are you seeing anyone?"

I'm shocked that he could just throw that question in there. I was expecting it but not like that. I take a drink of my tea to figure out what I'm going to say.

"No, I've been focusing on working and trying to figure some stuff out."

Jose looks at me like he's thinking of what he's going to say next but before he can say anything I beat him to it.

"Jose you're a great friend and I care for you a lot but only as a friend. We've always promised to be honest with each other even if it was something that was hard to say. I just want you to know where I stand. I'm sorry Jose." I say as he gives me an understanding smile.

"Thank you for being honest but I had to give it ab shot. I didn't want to spend the rest of my life wondering 'what if' you know. A big part of me knew that you didn't want more than just a friendship from me, but I'd rather have you as a friend than nothing at all besides I know your heart belongs to someone else." Jose grabs my hand and gives me a big smile.

I look at him confused and he winks at me. "That Christian dude has it bad for you and I can't blame him but I know you love him anyone can see it."

I can't help but laugh. We decide to leave and go get an ice cream before we call it a night. We start walking back to the restaurant where Jose's car is at.

"You know I also know that you and Ethan were never together. I suspected at first but then the more I paid attention the more I realized that you two were just really good friends. I figured it was because you weren't ready to date." I can't help but laugh.

"Jose I'm so sorry but you never asked."

"I didn't see the point in asking. It wasn't going to change anything."

We continue to talk and joke around when we notice someone walking towards us in sweats. I smile once I realize it's Christian and I'm surprised it took him this long.

"Are you sure I can't give you a ride home? I don't want you walking home it's getting darker." Jose tells me.

"I'm sure. I could use the walk besides it's not that late there's people still walking around and the apartment is really close by."

Jose is about to give me a hug when Christian finally approaches us. They both shake hands and I give Jose a hug anyway. He promises to call me later in the week before he gets in his car. I start walking towards my apartment and Christian calls out to me.

 **CHRISTIAN**

"Ana." I call out her name but she just keeps walking.

"You're just going to walk away from me like I'm not even there." I say getting upset as I jog a little to catch up to her not that she got that far anyway.

"You're working out Christian, so please continue with your jogging. As for me I'm going home." I swear Ana makes me mad and happy at the same time.

I hate that she knows I really wasn't working out and she's trying to get me to admit it.

"I can't believe that fucker let you walk home alone." I say walking next to her.

"He didn't let me Christian. I wanted to walk and even though he preferred to take me home he still respected my wishes. I insisted that I would be fine especially since I was pretty sure I'd be followed by a buffoon. Come to think about it I should have accepted the ride." I can't fucking believe she called me a buffoon.

Why in the fuck is she mad at me.

"Someone has to make sure you get home safely." I say.

"I just wanted to enjoy the nice night Christian and clear my head. Why are you pissed anyway? Shouldn't you be happy that he didn't take me home, that I wasn't alone in a car spending more time with him or that he didn't get to walk me to the door." I can't help but clench my fist I'm so pissed just thinking about what she's saying.

I am happy he didn't get to take her home in the car but fuck she shouldn't be walking at night. The thought of Jose walking Ana to the door pisses me off what if he tried to kiss her.

"I'm ecstatic that he didn't take you home Ana, it couldn't have worked out better if I had planned it myself. Now I get to walk you home." I say with a smirk as she rolls her eyes which really gets my dick to twitch.

"You will do no such thing. I said I wanted to clear my head." Ana starts walking a little faster leaving me standing there.

Ana turns around to make sure I'm not following her and I just wave at her. I have Sawyer one of my CPO's following her. I turn around and head back to Escala where Elliot is waiting for me since he decided he wanted to spend the night at my place for the hell of it. I know times like this he'll make sure we can spend more time together for that brotherly shit he talks about. I had given Taylor the night off since Elliot was going to be my ride because Kate decided to go home and wait for Ana since she went with Jose. Kate wanted to be there when she got home. Sawyer sends me a message to let me know Ana is safely at home.

I tell him he can take the rest of the night off as well since she won't be going anywhere tonight. If Ana ever found out about Sawyer I know she'd probably kill me. As I make my way up to the penthouse I think of how Elliot had made fun of me when I told him I was going to go for a jog after I changed. Elliot of course told me to say hi to Ana since he knew what I was up too. I of course flipped him off and he just laughed and told me we'd have some beers when I came back. I walk out of the elevator and I'm expecting to see Elliot on the couch enjoying a beer but to my surprise he's not there. I decide to go up stairs encase he decided to shower or change cause I know it's too early for him to go to bed. I walk into the guest room he usually uses but it's empty. I can see he changed because his clothes is on the floor but now I'm worried. Elliot is not one to snoop around.

I hoping it's really nothing and maybe he decided to go work out in the gym downstairs. I was about to call for Taylor but then I remembered I gave him the night off. I pull out my phone to call Elliot while I search the rest of the penthouse just in case when I see Jacqueline walking out of the playroom. All I can think about is where Elliot could possibly be.


	12. Chapter 12

**VvChapter 12: Chapter 12**

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE JACQUELINE?!" I can't fucking believe she's here.

I keep looking around waiting to see if Elliot is going to pop out of somewhere. Since I shouted.

"Well I saw how hard you tried to resist my sub at the restaurant I figured I'd remind you how good it felt to be in control again. Christian really you can't keep denying what you need. I took it upon myself to call Leila who was more that happy to come by and surprise you, she's waiting for you in the playroom."

"You need to understand that I don't need this Jacqueline. I've been doing great this whole time. I don't even miss it the way you make it seem." I say in a harsh tone making her flinch but I know she's loves this shit, she gets off on it so I have to do my best to stay calm.

"Darling why are you so upset? This is what I'm talking about you need to find your release. I know you better than anybody. Remember how eager you were when I started training you. How you wanted to become a dom. Remember how hungry you were for it. How great it felt to have that control. You can't just all of sudden want to give it up. I could see it in your eyes in the elevator, the fire is still there. Don't deny it Christian, don't leave this behind just for the mousy girl." Jacqueline tells me.

"Shut up Jacqueline you don't know shit and you need to refer to Ana by her name and nothing else she deserves that and so much better. "

"It's all for her Christian, do you really think you'll be happy? You can't possibly want to leave all this, you're only doing it because that's what she wants. It is not a good enough reason. She doesn't understand people like us what we need."

I walk to the playroom and open the door to find Leila kneeling down like when she was my sub and the sight of her does nothing to me. Normally when I would walk in I would get hard just looking at any sub but right now it felt all wrong.

"Get up." I say.

"Yes master." Leila responds looking down but I can see she is trying hard not to smile.

"Now get dressed and get the fuck out!" I say walking out of the playroom.

"Christian!" Jacqueline yells walking right behind me. We get to the living room and I turn around to face her.

"Do you realize you could have exposed me to my brother tonight?" I ask and Jacqueline looks confused.

"He was here Jacqueline, waiting for me to come back to Escala. I had to step out but he stayed here to wait for me. What if he walked in on Leila and you in here. Or worse into the playroom? Do you realize how much damage that would have caused?!" I run my hands through my hair wondering where the fuck he is and at the same happy that he's not here.

"I hadn't realized Christian. I'm sorry, it was careless on my part but your family hardly comes over. How was I suppose to know?"

"You're not suppose to know Jacqueline. I don't fucking report to you or anyone else for that matter. You aren't suppose to come here unannounced. It was a mistake to give you the code to the penthouse. And your right my family doesn't come around here a lot because I keep them at a distance but that is going to change. I should have grown closer to them instead of pushing them away. I shouldn't be hiding this from them or feeling ashamed about my life or what I do. Now get out and take Leila with you! I'm done with this shit, I don't want any part of it anymore!" I say in a firm voice as Leila comes down the stairs.

"Christian I can see you want us to leave encase Elliot comes back. I'll leave but we aren't don..." Jacqueline starts to say when I get really close to her without touching her because I know that's what she want's.

When she was training me to be a dom she'd provoke me just so I can punish her. I look her in the eyes. For a moment I can see a little bit of fear as much as she is trying to put on her dom persona it's not working.

"I WON'T TELL YOU AGAIN. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH MY BROTHER BEING HERE. I DON'T NEED NOR WANT THIS. NOW LEAVE WE ARE DONE WITH THIS CONVERSATION AND YOU WILL NOT BRING IT UP AGAIN EVER IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU." I say in a very slow but calm voice.

I didn't use my dom voice like she expected me to because then she would think I was playing around now at least she knows how serious I am. The elevator doors open and Taylor walks in which I wasn't expecting.

"Ms. Williams and Mrs..." Taylor starts to say when Jacqueline tells him they're leaving.

Taylor gets in the elevator with them and I see the doors clothes. I go to pour myself a scotch and wait for Taylor to come back. I grab my phone and send Elliot a text just as Taylor walks back in.

"How did you know?" I ask curious.

"Your brother called me sir telling me I needed to come and take some trash out." Taylor says with a smirk.

I nod with a smile and then realize he must be inside. "I changed the codes sir so they no longer have access to the garage or the penthouse.

"Thank you Taylor." I tell him as he walks away and I see Elliot coming down the stairs.

"You have a lot of explaining to do and I don't want to hear any bullshit or the pretty version of it."

Elliot grabs the bottle of scotch and downs a glass then walks to the living room and sits on the couch. I follow behind him and sit across from him.

"What the fuck is all that shit up there? I'm all for kinky and trying new shit but hell Christian that looks like a dungeon. To top it Jacqueline trained you to be a dom which means you fucked that piece of plastic. That sub was pretty hot though but still what the fuck!" Elliot says taking another drink.

"Before I answer your questions I'm curious to know where the hell were you hiding and why?" I say and he gives me an 'are you fucking kidding me' look. I shrug my shoulders.

"I went up stairs to take a shower and change into my pajamas. I figured you'd be back soon because knowing Ana she'd put you in your place. When I was coming down walked out of the room I heard female voices and thought maybe Kate and Ana came back. But the closer I got I realized it wasn't them. I followed them into that dungeon and I realized it was Jacqueline and I noticed that sub as you call them started getting naked." Elliot says rubbing his hands together and it doesn't even bother me that he saw Leila naked I could care less.

"Anyway I saw that the room across had the door slightly opened so I went in there to find out what they were doing there because it didn't make sense. Then you arrived and will now we're here so it's your turn start spilling little bro."

I refill my glass and down it with one gulp. "Jacqueline helped me gain control of myself and by doing that I stopped fighting and things got better for me. The room you saw up there is what I call a playroom, it's part of the BDSM life." Elliot nods and I take it that he knows about the lifestyle.

"You do the hardcore stuff?" Elliot asks.

"No there's limits that both I and the sub go over before we do anything. We sign a contract that details what is expected of both of us, the contract is for three months. After that if we decide we can do it for longer or we end it right there and then. There's rules that are laid out as well but either one of us can end the arrangement at any time if we wish to do so. I felt like maybe I'd never be able to be intimate with a girl because of my touch issue so this lifestyle helped me get control of that. I'm able to tie up the sub keeping them from ever touching me. At the beginning I was Jacqueline's sub, she explained that I would get a better understanding of the whole ordeal and eventually I became a dom. Yes Jacqueline and I fucked, when I did good I would get rewarded and if I messed up well I would get punished. That sub you saw tonight wasn't my sub anymore. I terminated our agreement a long time ago, it was before I saw Ana for the first time in years." I rub my hands through my hair as Elliot processes what I'm saying.

"I guess you guys are adults so there's nothing wrong with it, it shouldn't be a secret though but at the same time I don't think mom and dad need to know all the details on how you like to whip and tie up girls before you fuck them. Do you really use all those whips, canes and all that other stuff I saw up there?" Elliot asks with a huge grin.

"Not really, I think I just went over board on what I got but I do use some of those things." I say with a smile as Elliot has a grin.

"Who would have though you were a kinky son of a bitch." Elliot tells me as we both laugh then he gets all serious like he just realized something.

"How old were you Christian? You said you stopped fighting, the last time you were getting in troublefor that was when you were fifteen." I look at Elliot and he stands up. I know he's pissed and I don't get why.

"Jacqueline fucking took advantage of you Christian, that bitch needs to pay. Fucking fifteen years old!" Elliot almost shouts.

"I went along with it Elliot. It's not like she forced it on me. I could have walked away whenever I wanted." Elliot keeps looking at me and I know he wants to say more but decides not to.

"If you say so but I can see that no matter what I say you're not going to listen. Is that the reason you an Ana became distant? Was it because of Jacqueline? Is that the reason you and her stopped hanging around?" Elliot asks and I know he's getting more pissed.

"Jacqueline had told me I need to get away from any distractions in order for me to focus. I needed to do this Elliot. I wanted to find a way to control things better." I say trying to convince myself but after what Ana said I know Elliot is on the same page as she is and now I'm starting to see it as well which makes me feel like crap.

"That's fucking bullshit Christian and you know it. That dirty bitch wanted you all to herself and she got her way without having to try so hard. You fucked up a friendship with an amazing person who brought light into your life and made you enjoy yourself. You stopped spending time with us just so that you can learn how to fuck. You realize how selfish you were being. Jacqueline fed you a bunch of crap and you ate it all up." Elliot pulls at his hair and takes a deep breath.

"It's not your fault and I'm not blaming you just so we are clear, it wasn't your fault. That hag manipulated you really good, she was the adult and should have known better but she played on your weakness. I know you don't see it that way but you will eventually. I do however blame you for being selfish enough to break Ana's heart the second time when you were old enough to know better all so that you can continue fucking that piece of shit who still wants to control your every move. Anyone can see how much the bitch still wants you. How can you still have her in your life?"

"Elliot!" I yell trying to get him to calm down because I don't want to hear it. It's like hearing what Ana had to say all over again.

"Ana didn't deserve to be treated that way she always loved you so much and more that just a friend as young as she was you were her everything. You know girls and their fairy tale shit they just always know who their forever is." I can't find anything to say.

After Elliot realizes I'm not going to say anything he continues talking. "I don't blame you Christian for falling into her claws. Fuck I should have known she would come after you but I was so caught up with my own shit I never once thought she would approach you. I should have been there for you more. I should have realized what was going on. Mom and dad had every right not to trust Jacqueline." Elliot says pacing back and forth.

"Mom and dad can not find out Elliot it would break them. It's not your fault no matter what I wouldn't have listened to any of you. Wait, what do you mean you should have known?" I ask.

Elliot takes a deep breath then looks up at me. "Jacqueline approached me the year before you turned fifteen. She told me how she could teach me ways to please girls in college. I could show them pleasure that they would never find anywhere else. She tried to kiss me but I pushed her away but instead of getting mad it was like she liked it. I should have told mom and dad right away but instead I just blew it off. Christian it never crossed my mind that she would go to you."

I feel sick to my stomach, it can't be true.

"We're both exhausted Christian but we will continue this tomorrow and you're coming with me because I want to take you somewhere." Elliot says standing in front of me.

"I love you Christian, we all do no matter what. After finding all this out it doesn't change a thing. You're still a pain in the ass but your my baby brother and I wouldn't change you for the world. I'm not mad or disappointed in you I swear it. The only one to blame is Jacqueline but like you said you're trying to make things right and after the way you treated her today I can see that you're making an effort." Elliot squeezes my shoulder but I pull him into a hug as uncomfortable as it is for me and I know he's crying.

We let go and he rushes up stairs so I can't see him. I hate that he blames himself when it wasn't his fault at all. After tonight I can see how desperate Jacqueline was. What Elliot says makes sense but it's still hard to realize how I threw something great in my life for something so awful and bad. How could Jacqueline try to get with my brother and then come after me. That realization hits me hard. I take a shower and then try to get some sleep even though I know I'll be awake most of the night.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: I'm nervous about this chapter hope you all enjoy. Thank you ramanreinee for the suggestion** **of Elliot finding out.**

 **Chapter 13: Chapter 13**

 **CHRISTIAN**

I wake up before the sun comes up and decide to head to the gym. I let Taylor know where I'll be. When I get downstairs I see Elliot running on the treadmill and I feel like crap knowing he probably didn't sleep because of me. We work out for about an hour before we head back up. Gail has breakfast ready for us when we walk inside which I'm grateful for. We talk about going fishing with dad and inviting Ray maybe sending the girls to some spa retreat. I love that it's not tense between us, it's like nothing ever happened. Gail clears the dishes and we go to the living room.

"I can't take it back Elliot if I could I would but I can't. I'm trying to make things right with Ana." I say breaking the silence knowing he doesn't know where to start. Elliot nods at me and gives me his smile.

"At this point that's all that matters Christian, we can't change the past." I see Elliot thinking.

"Is this why Ana is keeping you at arms length? I mean she's not completely shutting you out but she is so guarded with you not that I blame her giving what happened in the past but she's trying really hard not to let her guard down at all. Does she know?" I sigh and pull at my hair and nod at Elliot.

"So Jacqueline just continues to put a wedge between you two even now and don't tell me it's not true." Elliot says tightening his jaw but I don't answer.

"Christian I know this is going to sound awful but think of it as tough love cause I'm trying really hard to make you realize shit for what it is. Jacqueline said that you only wanted to change because of Ana. Is that true? If Ana wouldn't have come back or if Ana wouldn't have gone to your office that day would you have a sub right now? Would you still be part of BDSM?" Elliot asks.

I don't know how Elliot does it but he makes me feel like I'm still young. Back then he would try to correct me when I did Something wrong, he didn't want to tell my parents so he'd make sure I understood how wrong I was then we'd go back to doing whatever we were doing like it never happened.

"Part of it is for Ana. To be honest at first it was all because of Ana, you know I figured it's the only way to get her to be with me even though I wasn't sure what I wanted from her. Before you go bat crazy yes part of me wanted her as a sub, it's all I knew but I also knew that I wanted more than just that. I realized that she is better than that and I know I wouldn't be able to do all that shit to her. The punishments and all that. I can't hurt her that way and I want her to be herself because that's what I love about her all of her. I ended the contract with the sub from last night weeks before Ana showed up at my office. During that time I wasn't in much of a rush to get another one. I mean part of me thought about it but I realized it was more out of a habit than me really needing one. Then having Ana back I haven't given it a second thought. It's not till Jacqueline brings it up that it crosses my mind. I honestly don't know if I would have completely given up on the lifestyle but I know I wanted to take a break from it. I know I have to do this not just for Ana but for me and I want to do it Elliot. Ana said a lot of shit that got me thinking and she told me that I had to figure and sort it all out before me and her can move on. I didn't want to accept it but the more I thought about it the things she told me started to make sense. I do miss the control but last night in the playroom seeing Leila naked did nothing to me I didn't even get excited, hell I didn't even want to punish her. Don't get me wrong there's time when I want to spank the shit out of Ana for being a smart as but not in the way I do with my submissives if that makes sense."

"That's normal Christian, hell sometimes I spank Kate when she teases me then plays hard to get but it's kinky fun sex. Christian I can help you out with the relationship part of things, I'm here for you always for what ever you need." Elliot tells me.

"Thank you Elliot. To answer you other questions Ana does know, she wouldn't give me a chance unless I told her why I started acting cold with her so I told her everything. I know she thinks I'm going to hurt her again and I don't blame her but yes that's why she has her doubts about me. I know I have to get to know her all over again and earn her trust Elliot but I can't when she doesn't give me a chance. I don't want to be in the lifestyle not because of Ana but I don't see the point and as hard as it is to admit you are all right Jacqueline really only taught me was how to fuck."

Elliot nods in understanding.

"Ana is giving you the space you need Christian so that you can make the changes because you want and not because she is forcing you too. Don't give up on her she's doing what she believes is right, we both know she isn't going to force you to do something just to make things right with her. Ana wants you make the do what's right for you without being pressured, you need to make these choices for you not for Ana or anyone else for that matter. If you want to be in the lifestyle then we'll accept that without judging you. We love you Christian for who you are. Now as for the bad people that try to manipulate you those have to go." Elliot says and I can't help but smile at the last comment.

"When you have a clearer head we need to talk about Jacqueline, I know you see her as a friend who fucking gets on your nerves but she's bad for you Christian. I think she's the reason Ana is keeping her distance. You chose Jacqueline over Ana once and as long as the bitch is in your life Ana will always feel like you it will happen again, that you will push her away whenever Jacqueline asks."

Fucking hell that never fucking crossed my mind. Ana has every right to feel like but after last night I can see how Jacqueline is trying hard to pull me back into the lifestyle and seems so desperate. I don't get why? I know I'm in denial but I just don't get it. I know she's a bitch but I always figured it's who she is, I never saw her as manipulative or as a bad person. I've been watching her more carefully after Ana had told me that Jacqueline was controlling me by making me think I was in control and now that Elliot said the same thing I have to be careful around her.

"Christian we should get ready I want to take you somewhere." Elliot says breaking me from my thoughts.

"Where are we going?" I ask.

"You'll see and Christian I'm here no matter what you decide this doesn't change how I feel or think of you. Eventually our parents are going to have to find out what Jacqueline did to you because it's not right and who know who else she might be getting her claws in. It's not my secret to tell and I'm not going to push it because I know you have to see her for who she is on your own." Elliot tells me as he goes up stairs and I know he's right but fuck.

I take a shower before we leave. Taylor drives up to a big house and then I realize we're at the shelter that Elliot built for kids who need help, especially abused children. My mom was really big on starting this foundation because of what I went through before she adopted me, she created the Coping Together ball to raise funds to keep it running. I made sure Elliot got everything he needed to get this going and I make contributions throughout the year along with many other organizations.

"Christian just promise you'll give it a shot before you shut yourself down." Elliot says breaking me from my thoughts.

We walk inside and are greeted by a young lady who has a huge smile. She gives us a tour and explains what everything is and tells us what each section is for and how many kids actually live here and I'm surprised at how much impact this place is really doing.

"Okay so here is the room you will be using, most of our counseling sections take place in here. Now the children you will be observing are all underage but since they all live here and we have full guardianship and given that it's a group session the counselor has agreed to allow the both of you to sit in. These are all different cases from an abusive father to neglectful parents and the list goes on. There are only four children in this group and we also asked for their permission of course to make sure they were comfortable with this as well." The lady tells us then she leaves.

"It's a nice room." Elliot tells me as we sit on the couch towards the back.

"I agree, it's nice to know that this is really helping the kids cope and heal. I always thought of it as a way to keep them off the streets but to know that it's helping them along the way makes it so much better."

The door opens and a female who looks to be in her forties walks in followed by three boys and a girl who look to be between thirteen and fifteen. She introduces herself as the kids all sit on the floor and they seem relaxed and comfortable. We are introduced to the kids and the woman introduces herself as Dr. Hugh, she reminds me of Dr. Flynn my psychiatrist.

Dr. Hugh starts the session with the kids as me and Elliot sit in silence. After about an hour of hearing everything they have to say Dr. Hugh asks if we have any questions and we say no. The kids ask us all kinds of questions about what we do and our lives and what not. We say our good byes and then drive back to Escala. I think over what all the kids said and how at the beginning they were blaming themselves till they started realizing they were all victims and it was not their fault. The one who stood out the most was the girl who was fifteen her name was Cindy, her case was the closest to mine.

When she was six years her mother died and her father just started neglecting her because she reminded him of her mother too much and he was having a hard time dealing with it. Eventually her father's brother along with the wife decided to adopt her, which she was happy about and things were going great until she turned thirteen. They had a neighbor and their son would watch her sometimes when her aunt and uncle would go out. He started yelling at her and would hit her just for any reason like not going to bed fast enough. Her aunt also starting yelling at her for anything she would do. Cindy was too scared to tell anybody thinking they would send her away for being a bad girl, and since this guy would tell her that her own father didn't want her, it was easier to believe it.

After about a year she decided to tell her aunt about what was going on because the punishments were getting worse and instead of reporting it or telling her husband she told Cindy that it was her own fault for not being a perfect girl, but she could teach her how to be perfect. How she can please men by doing what they asked of her. Cindy accepted to do it because she wanted to make sure that her father would be so happy with her he'd take her back to live with him. It turns her aunt was in the BDSM life and started to train her to be a submissive, the neighbors kid was on of her victims as well.

Cindy's uncle came home early one day and heard noises in the attack so he decided to go check and found his wife whipping Cindy who was tied to a desk they had up there, he was so furious he called the cops right away. He blamed himself for not seeing it sooner but thankfully he's still in Cindy's life and divorced his wife after pressing charges. Both her father and uncle come visit her as often as possible. Her father has apologized for being selfish and not seeing that she needed him. She is happy thay both of them are there for her but has decided to live in the shelter till she feels that she has fully healed. Cindy is barely coming to terms that she was her aunts victim even though she agreed to it just like me.

Elliot lets me know we arrived at Escala. I hadn't even realized Taylor holding the door open for me. I get out and go straight to the gym and start punching the bag. I know Elliot followed me down here and I can feel him watching me. I feel so exhausted and I fall to the floor, I could kill Jacqueline right now along with Cindy's aunt. Fuck I was older though so I knew better. I can't fucking be the victim, I'm a guy I knew what I was getting into.

"Christian are you alright?" Elliot asked and I can hear the worry in his voice.

"I wasn't the victim Elliot, I wasn't the lost little boy I was when I was four. I'm not fucking weak Elliot!" I shout as I get back up. Elliot pulls me to him and tells me it's alright.

"You are one of the strongest persons I know Christian. You are not weak at all." Elliot tells me not letting me go making sure he doesn't touch my chest. I tell him I appreciate what he did and being there for me and how much I love him. I apologize for not spending more time with him and he tells me that it was on him too then I say I love him.

"Elliot none of it was your fault either. I was in a bad place, I wouldn't have listened to what anyone said." I know he needed to hear it. We eventually go back up to the penthouse and just relax before we decide to invite everyone out to dinner. I'm thankful that Elliot doesn't bring it up again but I know he'll be there when and if I need to tall about it again.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14: Chapter 14**

 **CHRISTIAN**

I felt drained after talking with Elliot and visiting the shelter, it took me almost a week to break out of it. Elliot called me everyday to see how I was doing and it would get on my nerves and a few times I told him to fuck off which only made him laugh. Then he'd make a comment saying that I'm still the same old Christian. I decided to start seeing Dr. John Flynn again even though it was a tough decision. He's good at what he does, I had just decided that it was time for me to take a break because I felt like I was getting nowhere but Dr. Flynn said that I needed to face the truth before I can make any progress now I know he was right.

I remember my first session with him it was very intense. The first hour I did most of the talking then after that it was Flynn who was doing all the talking. I have to give him credit for remaining professional the whole time and not gloating about how he was right all along. I explained what had happened starting when I saw Ana again and then telling her everything. About Elliot also finding out and then taking me to the shelter and everything starting to make sense and it hit me all at once and even then I didn't want to accept it. Flynn reminded me about how he doesn't always talk to me as professional because as his patient he needs me to understand and therefore he will sometimes talk to me like a parent or friend would, that's one of the reasons I had stuck with him for so long.

"I'm glad that you finally opened your eyes Christian but it seems to me that you still consider Jacqueline a friend. You realized that she took advantage of your weaknesses and convinced you that she could help you but in all reality she didn't, she just abused you in a sense. I know that's not how you want to look at it but I need to make sure you see it that way because I can't dance around it like before. You came back to get a grip of things and we both know that tip toeing around it got you nowhere last time."

"That's why I'm here Flynn and I know you're going to hit me with it all head on. Intense therapy as you called it." I say looking at him waiting for him to start.

He looks at me waiting for me to admit that I was abused. I was taken advantage of Flynn it's the same fucking bullshit." I say and he just looks at me waiting for me to continue.

"I know that Flynn and I get it as hard as it is Jacqueline took advantage of me when I was younger but now I don't see how she can still be manipulating me. I make all the choices, I know Elliot had a lot to say about it but chose not to because he didn't want to get in an argument about it. Look I've been distancing myself from her lately because I need to deal with all this shit first and realize what it is I truly want and who I am as stupid as that is." I had told Dr. Flynn.

"It's better than nothing so lets get started. So at the end of it all you still can't be touched even though you've hugged your brother but it was uncomfortable for you. Ana was able to put her hands on your chest and that felt good there was no burning or pain but that had nothing to do with Jacqueline, it was all your doing." Dr. Flynn had said and I don't get the point of it.

"Do you understand that you did not need Jacqueline's help to connect with two of the people you love?"

"Yes. I needed to feel their comfort and I decided to try it out." I say as John nods.

"Now for the harder part. Christian you came here and told me you were ready for the honest truth. Jacqueline manipulated you back then and continues to do so now even if you are a grown man. From what you have told me she is starting to show her true colors slowly and you're starting to see things that you didn't see before. You've given her money for her salons because even though you gave her the money to get them started, you're a so called silent partner but in reality your just her bank. The subs that you supposedly chose are girls that she picks for you. You just make the final decisions on who you want. Christian before you protest to that you once told me that at the clubs you get to meet other subs and if you see someone you're interested in you decide if you take it further or not. Jacqueline didn't like that idea and offered to get subs for you. Don't give me that privacy bullshit because you said that those clubs are very good as far as privacy is concerned. Yes it is easier to have Jacqueline get you your subs but in reality she stopped you from getting your own connections."

I take a deep breath at what John is saying.

"When you get home later today write down everything that Jacqueline had done for you then write down the things you've done for her see who's really getting the upper hand here. I don't think that it matters really because you should always help someone that needs it. In this case you need to see how much Jacqueline really uses you, and I hope it helps you understand that you don't need her in your life. Its your choice to make, no one can force you to push people away. You do that because you want to." I know he's referring to Ana and it pisses me off.

I tighten my fist getting pissed at what he's getting at but I did tell him to lay it all out there. When I don't say anything John continues to speak.

"Jacqueline saw a young fifteen year old boy that she can mold to be the puppet that she wants and don't get pissed because this is the harsh truth. You are in the BDSM lifestyle Christian and she trained you. Key word being TRAINED, I don't believe that she truly showed you the right way or all of it, she taught you what she wanted in order to keep you under her thumb. Think about it Christian she's a dom right?" I nod a yes as Flynn had turned to look at me.

"Dom's have control over their subs which is what you started off as. Subs please their doms and that's exactly what you have been doing all this time. What Jacqueline wants you give her but she's a very smart woman. People like her that prey on children like you usually know how to make bad things look like a good thing, that being said she makes you think you're in control but in reality your not when it comes to her. You want to know something Christian none of us are in control, we make choices but things are going to happen regardless of what we want. You can make a simple choice but you can't control how someone else is going to react to that choice." John says as I'm now pacing the room.

"That's fucking bullshit! I say when I want a sub not Jacqueline, I end the contracts when I want not her. I say if she gets the money for the salons and when we meet for dinners once a week I set the time and date!" I almost yell getting pissed but I know deep down he's right, just like Ana said.

"Christian you have said it yourself there were times when you'd end a contract and Jacqueline had another one lined up within days. You'd say you'd let her know but yet she would keep insisting on you getting one. You ended the contracts after you spoke to her about it, you would still ask what she thought. Jacqueline would "suggest" that it was better to let that sub go before she got more attached or whatever reason you had. Do you see that you were actually asking her for permission without realizing it? Another good point is your lunch meetings. Why have lunch meetings in the first place Christian? You're accounting department gets the monthly reports, and Jacqueline calls you when she needs money for supplies or what not. You set the time and date because she allows you to, she'll call and ask when you are available but in reality she's the one who is telling you to meet with her not you. Think about it Christian. Don't get me wrong because it's normal for family to demand time from us when we are too busy, even our significant others will do it but someone like Jacqueline it's not right because she's only looking out for herself. All she's doing is making sure that she stays in your life and she makes sure she's an important part of it." Flynn writes something else down and I now sit down on the couch letting everything sink in.

"I'm still with you Flynn, I haven't shut down yet. You can keep going." I tell him because I know he's studying me to see how much more I can handle. When I first made the appointment he had told me that he was going to push me hard but if got to intense he would stop and we would continue another day.

I wish I could say something but he's given me a lot to think about. Shit he's really throwing it all out there. I guess he doesn't want to loose the momentum or risk me completely shutting down on him and I don't blame him because part of me wants to just walk out but I promised Elliot I would do this and I know if I have any chance with Ana I have to face all my demons straight on.

"Now what I'm going to say next is going to sound confusing but let me explain it before you jump to your own conclusions." Flynn tells me and I nod letting him know to continue.

"You were still a fifteen year old vulnerable boy but you could still make certain decisions in your life because it's part of growing up and we learn as we go, yet by this age we know right from wrong."

Flynn looks at me to make sure I'm on the same page as him. I take a deep breath and tell him to continue. I know he's trying really hard to find the right words so that I don't somehow twist them to my benefit.

"Jacqueline approached you with an offer that sounded great to you. It was a way of becoming you're own person without depending on anyone and in her own way she accomplished that by distancing you from the people you care about, the people who will always be there for you no matter what." Flynn tells me and I know he got a bit off track.

"Get to the point John." I say.

"From what I gather at that moment you felt like you were actually making a choice for yourself, which made you feel in control and she played on that. You were fifteen like I said but the things she introduced you to were not things that you should have been doing especially with an adult."

"We've been through that already John." I say as he smiles.

"You knew it was wrong, you've mentioned it before a few times, you should have gone to your parents and told them but she convinced that they would be proud of you once she taught you to control you temper. You had mentioned that if you're parents couldn't find out it was something bad, to have to keep it a secret felt wrong, yet you ignored that and decided to go with it. I remember before you decided to take a break from our sessions you said that sometimes you felt like sick to your stomach just thinking of how your parents would react if they knew what you did or how it would break their hearts if they ever found out about you and Jacqueline." John tells me.

"You said that my parents wouldn't hold it against me because I was a victim and it wasn't my fault but Jacqueline would need to run for the hills so to speak." I say as we laugh.

"You see Christian you knew right from wrong, Jacqueline just convinced you that you needed it but that's not the kind of help you needed. At that age most guys are horny and she knew it was the perfect time to approach you to have sex without worrying about being touched. She knew how to manipulate you which is part of why you are a victim in all this."

"Seriously we are going around in circles, I've admitted to it as hard as that shit was. Elliot made me face the truth and hearing it from that little girl was like being hit by a train. I hate going over it now get to the fucking point."

John laughs. "I just want to make sure you understand that part because we are going into sensitive territory." John looks at me and I know he's talking about Ana.

"I made a deal with the devil basically is what you are saying." John nods at me while winking.

"You said it not me. You said that Jacqueline somehow convinced you that you were too dependent on Ana and she gave you an option. You didn't see it that way at the time because you bought into her lies About helping you but still this was your choice to make. Jacqueline did not force you or threaten you. I go back to what I said earlier you were old enough to make choices like who to keep in your life and who you would push away." I stand up knowing where he's going with this.

"What happened with Jacqueline was not your fault Christian, you didn't know better and you couldn't think clearly especially if someone promises you everything you want without asking for much in return. In your eyes she didn't ask for anything but yet you lost one of the people who was always there for you. I need you to understand that Christian." John tells me waiting for me to confirm that I understand what he's saying.

"Jacqueline hated that you depended on Ana she wanted you to herself people like her are selfish and remove anyone who can get in their way. Jacqueline wanted you to depend on her, Ana was a threat to her because she knew Ana would make you realize how wrong Jacqueline is so she made you chose."

John looks at me and he calls my name to make sure I am looking at him now.

"You heard this before but I am going to tell you again even if you don't want to hear it. You pushed Ana away Christian. You chose to cut her out of your life not Jacqueline. You were the one who chose to stay away from her over these years, no one forced you too. Jacqueline convinced you to do it was something that needed to be done but at the end the choice was yours." I tighten my fist and they hurt from how much pressure I have on them.

"Did you ever for one second think how much Ana needed you as well. How much she depended on you. Did you ever once consider that even though she was happy she still needed you in her life? I said it earlier Jacqueline convinced you to push Ana away but you chose to stay away from her all those years. Ana being out of your life is all because you were the one who decided you didn't need her?"

All I see is red, he fucking pissed me off. I've always needed Ana.

"Fuck you John! We always talked about Ana in all our sessions. I've always loved Anastasia and you don't know shit." Is all I can say as I walk out, I can hear him tell me he will see me tomorrow.


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Thank you all for the reviews/follows and favorites. I hope you like this chapter, I rewrote it **several times. I didn't mention it in the last chapter but thank you ramanreinee again for the idea **of** **having Christian somehow realizing he was a victim and I was going to go in a different **direction** **with this chapter but in one of the reviews I read how it would be nice to see Flynn **being brutally** **honest with Christian and help him and decided to go that route. Thank you JB **for the idea. Hope** **you all enjoy!************

 **Chapter 15: Chapter 15**

 **CHRISTIAN**

The next day I hesitated to go see John because I knew he was going to push me to the edge today. The main focus was going to be Ana but I knew I had to go. There was no backing out now as much as I wanted to. Jacqueline has been calling me non stop but I've ignored all her calls and even had her access to GEH taken away. I don't have to deal with her right now not that I want to at this point.

"Good morning Christian. I didn't think you'd show up today." John tells me with a huge smile. I flip him off as I sit on the couch he has.

"Where would you like to start today?" John asks me like it's really up to me.

"Christian now is not the time to shut down." I run my hands through my hair and take a deep breath.

"We should just pick up where we left off there's no point in going through everything again. I get it Jacqueline has used me this whole time to get her way. I was just a stupid pon in her game. I need to face this head on like you said, I'm not shutting down it's just hard to hear." I say and John nods at me and I wait for him to start.

"I need you to see this from Ana's point of view Christian but you also need to understand that you had a choice when it came to Ana and I know how sensitive you are when it comes to her."

"I'm here lets get this shit over with." John gives me a curious look but then looks at his notes.

"Yesterday I asked if you ever considered how much Ana needed you too, how much she depended on you? If you think that even though she was happy she still needed you in her life?" Can you accept that the choice was yours to make Christian, no one else's. Ana being out of your life is all because you were the one who decided you didn't need her?"

"And I fucking told you that I love her and you don't know shit. It wasn't that simple John." I say trying to stay calm.

John gives me a look that tells me I'm wrong, he doesn't say anything for a while.

"Tell me how it wasn't that simple Christian."

"At that time I really thought Jacqueline was going to help me. I was so focused on trying to get my life under control because I didn't want to feel like I was always lost, like I had no choice in what happened to me. I was afraid that as I got older my temper would get worse and I might somehow hurt Ana accidentally. Jacqueline told me that she could help me with that because the way I was going I was going to be a huge disappointment to my parents and I wasn't getting any better. What would happen when I would go to college, Ana wasn't going to be able to help me then. I couldn't expect Ana to give up her dreams just because she needed to be by my side to make sure I didn't get in a fight or what not. I didn't need a fucking baby sitter. I wanted to be a better person one that everyone would be proud of. Jacqueline told me I couldn't have any distractions or anyone who was causing me to loose my temper because all this would be for nothing if I didn't focus." John is studying me he notices that I realize how stupid it now sounds.

I get what they've been telling me but to finally say it out loud it's sinking in more.

"I fucking love Anastasia she's always been my everything John. I fucked up big I wasn't thinking right at the time, I was..."

"Manipulated." John says. "You know that your family loves you Christian and have always been there for you. You don't understand why but the reality is they do and they've always been proud of you. Every parent gets mad at their child when they do something wrong, you've seen them get mad at Elliot, it was the same way they got mad at you there was no difference. Do you not think that if your mom and dad would have thought your temper was a real problem that they would have gotten you help, or expressed their concerns to you? They always made sure that all of you felt loved and when you did good they would acknowledge it." John tells me and I just nod.

As for Ana that reasons would work for the first time Christian, I'm sure as hard as it is Ana understands that, hell we all do." I look at John with an 'are you fucking kidding me look' but he just ignores is.

"Look Christian it was understandable for the choice you made, you said that it was hard for you to do and at first you were slowly pulling away from Ana because you couldn't do it but when Jacqueline made you chose that's when you really treated Ana like shit to make sure she wouldn't bother you. I'm not saying it's okay because in all honesty it's not and she didn't deserve that and you didn't deserve to be taking advantage of either, but it wasn't the first or only time you pushed Ana away. Even after everything you decide to use Ana for one night."

"Fuck you I didn't use Ana!" I yell standing now.

"I think you did, I think she believes you did. You were older and more mature, I mean technically you should have had better 'control' of things or your life, right? That's what Jacqueline was suppose to have helped you with? Correct me if I'm wrong. You saw an opening to have Ana in your life when Ray called you and asked to be her date for the night. You were more than happy to do it, especially when Ray told you that he didn't want the boys asking her out or trying anything funny. It pissed you off to think of Ana with someone else."

"I wasn't going to let any fucker take advantage of her. Ana deserves better than that." I say walking back to the couch to sit down.

"Yet you did exactly that, take advantage of her. You knew how she felt about you Christian, and you felt the same in your own way. That night it was like nothing had ever happened, the two of you got lost in the moment and enjoyed yourselves but you took it a step further. You gave Ana a gift that meant something to the both of you, I know you didn't force Ana to do anything at the time she was old enough to make that kind of decision. You let her give herself to you Christian, she didn't have any expectations or demands she just went with how she was feeling because that's what love is. I'm sure Ana knew, in her heart there was a part of her that knew this didn't mean anything but a bigger part of her hoped that it was the beginning of something beautiful. That is something that only she can tell you. You let her touch you Christian because you trust her and you made her feel even more special by letting her do that."

"I got lost in the moment John, it felt right to be with her. I wanted to show her how much she meant to me, things I couldn't say I thought I could make her feel."

"I believe that you believe that, I guess after what Jacqueline showed you sex would be a way to show a woman you care about her. You have sex with your subs does that mean you care for them too." John says with a smirk.

"It's not the same fucking shit. I made love to Ana we both connected in a way that I've never connected with anyone else. It was the best night of my life, no one compares to her. The subs are nothing but a good fuck, I don't even get to know them on a personal level." I tell him.

"Do you truly believe that. Think about it Christian, because it was so easy for you to just shut Ana out the second time around but yet with these subs that you just fuck, the ones that don't mean shit to you are the ones you take care of after a scene, those subs are given the courtesy of you telling them its over. To top it of you talk to Jacqueline about ending the contract yet with Ana you didn't have to think twice. I'm suppose to believe that you care for Ana after you take advantage of her. I mean because you can fight me on this till you're blue in the face but it's the truth. You make love to her and walk her to the door and make it seem like things have changed between the two of you. Because you could have left her in the boathouse but instead you woke with her and gave her hope by still walking her to the door and giving her a kiss what was she suppose to think Christian Instead of opening up to her and explain things you make her think it was a mistake. Ana gave you something special and you just tell her it was a mistake."

"It wasn't a mistake John, I know I told her that but it was the best thing to ever happen. I don't regret it at all, but I knew it was the only way to keep her at arms length." I say pulling at my hair.

"Exactly Christian you push her to the side like she doesn't matter, like she never meant anything to you. You made that choice you weren't forced to do it, you were already old enough to be able to fix things with Ana. To make the choice to live a life with her in it but instead you chose to do what Jacqueline wanted you to do. You didn't want Ana in your life it's plain and simple."

"That's not fucking true! Dammit John that's not...Ana was too perfect for me and I still had things to take care of." I almost yell.

"Things to take care, like being a dom. Which proves Ana was not what you wanted. Jacqueline didn't threaten her life or yours, there was no danger. You were already an adult who could have done anything you wanted." John says looking at me straight in the eye not backing down and daring me to say something.

"Jacqueline said I still needed more training and in order to be a dom I needed to take on a real sub not just her." I say.

"So when you made love to Ana you were still fucking Jacqueline?" John asks but he knows the answer to that.

"Fuck no, we had already ended our contract there was nothing going on anymore." I say.

"Why did you want to be a dom Christian? I mean if you wanted Ana in your life you wouldn't need to be a dom right? You knew you didn't want her to be in that lifestyle, there's no way you would want to punish her or want her to change. You said you love her fiery spirit. So why be a dom? If Ana is truly what you wanted you would have told Jacqueline at that point that you were done. According to you she helped you so technically at that point you didn't need her anymore."

I can't say anything at all I'm shocked because that never crossed my mind I never saw it that way. I'm processing what he is saying and if he thinks of it like that I could only imagine the things Ana is thinking. Fuck no wonder she doesn't believe a word I say.

"It's been hard John, I've tried to distract myself by being in the lifestyle. I figured it would take away from me feeling empty and always feeling like I was missing something. I always loved Ana but I knew that I couldn't be what she needed, what she wants. I'm not good enough for her and that night I wanted to make things right but then when I spoke to Jacqueline part of me wanted to tell her to go to hell but the other part of me knew that I would just drag Ana down. I would somehow ruin her and she wouldn't be happy like she deserves, I couldn't do the romance shit. I'm too fucked up for her and she doesn't need to waste her time trying to fix me." I say rubbing my face.

"Bullshit! Ana wanted you just the way you were, she wasn't trying to fix you. Not once have you mentioned her trying to change you, even now she's not pressuring you like Jacqueline is. Ana is letting you do your thing and figure out what you truly want. All Jacqueline did was fill your head with lies and convinced you that you were never good enough. Ana helped you enjoy life, made you realize you need to act your age whatever happened to you in the past was awful. No four year old should go through that but it shouldn't define who you become. You parents gave you a new beginning yet you chose to still live miserably. Christian do you see how much Jacqueline has manipulated you that you couldn't see clearly any more? Who said you weren't good enough Christian? Jacqueline? Because from what I remember you always said your family along with Ana and her family have always made you feel loved. You never felt like you were good enough and Jacqueline use that to her advantage." John says and I didn't realize I was now crying till I feel something wet on my cheeks.

"You need to face it Christian, you wanted to explore the lifestyle as a dom. You were only thinking of yourself, you got what you wanted from Ana? There was a part of you that wanted to test if she was still yours. You wanted to see if she would let you in again. You made love to her knowing that you weren't going to commit to her." Flynn is watching me, I know he wants to make sure I can handle it.

He isn't going to offer me an out if I want to stop I have to say it. I nod letting him know to continue even though all I want to do is punch something.

"The ugly reality Christian is that you needed something else. As much as you say you weren't good enough the truth is that Ana wasn't enough for you. After making love to her did you realize you enjoyed fucking better? Is that why it was so easy for you to accept what Jacqueline told you? You enjoyed the power you felt with a sub."

"You're wrong John."

"Am I Christian? You can't argue with me because the part of you that is facing all this head on knows it's the truth. You took advantage of Ana's love for you, you didn't bother to think how it would affect her. Ana was not enough for you Christian, you didn't want her to be part of your world. You were selfish."

"Fuck you!"

"Is that your way of defending yourself? Then answer this Christian why now? Is it the chase of knowing that she's not giving in to you like last time? Do you want to prove to yourself that you can have her whenever you want and then once your done you toss her to the side again and go back to being a dom? What makes you think you really want her in your life now? What's changed? You want Ana in your life but you're not ready to fully commit." John tells me and I get up wanting to punch him but I know I can't and it hurts to think that Ana is thinking the way John is.

I'm bad for her, I wanted to protect her but all I've ever done is hurt her.

"Your an ass, fuck you John because Ana has always been more than enough." I yell.

"So tell me Christian why now? You can't answer that can you? Have you ever thought of trying to actually date someone else? How do you know you love Ana? Are you sure all this isn't just because you feel bad and guilty and you think you can make it up to her now?" John tells me.

I feel like I can't breath right now and I can hear John trying to calm me down. After I've relaxed he tells me that we shall continue next week but I tell him I'd rather just keep going and even though he hesitates he agrees.


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: THANK YOU GUYS YOU ARE AWESOME! A COUPLE MORE OF THESE CHAPTERS **AND THEN ON TO ANA AND CHRISTIAN COMING FACE TO FACE AGAIN. HOPE YOU****

 **ENJOY.**

 **Chapter 16: Chapter 16**

 **A/N: I know this is a short chapter but I wanted to get it out today. I'm working on the next one and** **then we'll be back to some Christian and Ana face to face. Hope you enjoy**

 **CHRISTIAN**

The next morning I feel exhausted, I don't even bother working out. I let Andrea know that I will not be going in to work today which by the sound of her voice she is surprised. I e-mail Ross as well and she responds by telling me it's about time and she's glad to have a day off from me. I can't help but laugh at her comment. Once I'm showered and ready I let Taylor know that I'm ready to leave. All last night I kept thing about what John said and all his questions. I know I love Ana she's my everything. The way I feel when I'm around her I have never once felt that with anyone else but I did fucking put her last every time and I made it seem like she didn't matter then to make matters worse kept tossing her to the side.

I walk into John's office where he's already waiting for me. I sit down on the couch like always and take a deep breath.

"I take it you had a lot of thinking to do last night?" John asks.

"I did. I know that Ana is my everything and I love her. I know my actions say otherwise but I always felt like I would somehow hold her back. I know I was selfish in the choices I made and I was mostly thinking about myself but I was also thinking of how I could somehow ruin Ana's life. I fucked up and it's hard to admit that I treated Ana like she didn't matter, everything I was afraid of doing I ended up doing by hurting her." I say trying to keep my voice from cracking because even though I acted like a coldhearted bastard to Ana. I do care and it hurts to breath just to know what I did.

"Can you answer the questions I asked you yesterday? I know you hated hearing it but it's the honest truth Christian and before you can move forward you need to be honest and answer them even if the answer is the worst answer possible." John looks up at me and gives me a sad smile.

"I know I pissed you off Christian and you had a small break down but you need to hear it as ugly as it is." John tells me in a firm voice.

"I know I love her John, Ana is not some game to me never has been. It's not about the chase. Maybe the first time there was that part of me that wanted to prove Ana would be there for me. I also know that it's more than that, I want to do more with Ana. When I pushed Ana away the first time it was like there was no happiness at all but I kept thinking how much better I would be for her and that kept me going. Now that I see that it was all bullshit it pisses me off. Ana has always stood up to me I would never want her to be a sub, yes it crossed my mind but like I told Elliot it's not something I want for her. I don't need to date anyone to know that I love Ana, before you say how stupid that is because I've fucked subs but you can save yourself the trouble. I've always known that I love Ana she's my everything but Jacqueline said love is for fools and it just messes you up. I know it was selfish of me because I didn't want to be dependent on Ana I wanted to know that I could do something on my own but that was it. At the time Jacqueline said love ruins you because you become so dependent on that person and you become their puppet." I look at John who has a big smirk on his face.

"Fuck you John I don't love Jacqueline but she fooled me into becoming her fucking puppet. You don't need to say it." I say as he puts his hands up in surrender and starts laughing.

"I get that Christian and that's a good start but you still haven't answered the questions. Why now? What's changed? Why did you become a dom when you could have just tried fix things with Ana after you made love to her? Are you bored and you just want some excitement in your life so why not go after Ana? You say she's not a game but how do you know for sure? Do you realize that now you're bored with your subs so now you want to try regular things with Ana? What happens when you get tired or feel that you're to dependent on her are you going to leave her again?"

"I told you I fucking love Anastasia John that's the fucking truth. I hate myself for hurting her the way I did and I know it's selfish of me but she has always made me better and my life better, I was just to blind and stupid to see it. All those years without her have been hell for me and I know you don't believe me because of the subs but it's the truth. I've told you before many times that I've always felt like there was something in my life missing, there was this emptiness and now I know it's been Ana this whole time. I know I can make her happy John, she loves me as much as I love her. I won't get bored with Ana that was never an issue, not even after I made love to her, she's the best I've been with but it's not just physical or sexual with her John. We connect on a deeper level I'm nothing without her." I say as calmly as possible.

"Why now Christian? Why not that night after you made love? Why continue to be a dom? You're going around it Christian you still aren't answering those questions. How do you know that you don't need the BDSM lifestyle? How do you know you won't want to punish Ana when she does something to piss you off?" John says.

"I would not do that to her John, I don't need to punish Ana for anything, fuck there's times where I want to spank her but not the same way as the subs, more of a playful way. I don't need the fucking lifestyle because I haven't had a sub for quite some time now and I haven't wanted one. Hell after these intense sessions with you I would have been calling Jacqueline to get me a sub but I haven't because I don't want that, it hasn't crossed my mind till right now. Not once have I thought about the playroom or wanting to go in there. I don't fucking need that shit right now and I realize that before I was doing it for the wrong reasons. On Ana's birthday I wanted to get a chance to make things right and I knew I wasn't going to commit to her but the moment felt right, everything about that night felt right." I take a deep breath and pull at my hair.

"I was being selfish John and I wanted to make her mine, I wanted to be her first so that she would always remember me. I didn't want anyone else to have her and I still don't. I know it's not right and it's fucked up since I've had my fair share of subs but Ana has always been special. I needed to feel connected to her to see if that pull and that energy we have when we touch was still there. To know that I hadn't completely become a monster, that she could still see the good in me. Not once have I felt it with anyone else but her. I fucking needed her because I had missed her so much and now we were a bit older and I knew there could be more between us. After we made love I was over the moon as girly as that sounds. John I've never felt that way even after with the subs. With Ana the whole experience was different, I wanted to take my time with her. I didn't want the night to end. I felt relieved and relaxed there was a calmness and peace. I felt satisfied but I wanted more because I enjoyed it. Fuck John I was surprised she didn't get pregnant because we didn't stop till we were exhausted and ended up falling asleep. In the morning I felt like it was a new beginning for us, I swear John I was set on enjoying the day with Ana and starting fresh. A big part of me felt like I was going to let her down in the long run but I wanted to be with her. To see her smiling and laughing and knowing that I had that effect on her made my heart beat faster. John for a moment I forgot about everything and how fucked up I was, Ana gives me this sense of peace. With Ana I don't have pressure of having to pretend to be someone I'm not and it's stupid that it took me this long to figure it out." I say.

"It sounds to me like you're still being selfish Christian, I get that you think you love her but all I hear is how Ana does this for you, Ana makes you feel like this which are all things she made you feel at the beginning when you first met and yet you still chose to throw her to the side as soon as you got the chance. You can't seem to answer a simple question Christian why now? I still believe that this is about the chase, about proving that Ana is still yours in some way. What has changed Christian? Do you truly believe everything you've told me? How can I know for sure that you won't get what you want from her and then leave her and you keep repeating this cycle over and over again? I've come up with my own conclusion and I'll tell you after I hear your answers, I just need you to confirm it for me." John says studying and he knows he's pissing me off.

"John I've just told you how I felt and it's not a good enough answer for you?! I'm being sincere here…" I'm so passed I cant say anything else.

"I believe you're being sincere, but you have not given me any straight answers Christian." John asks if he should continue and I nod a yes.

"It's like a thief who wants the most precious jewel that no on can get their hands on. There's no real reason other than the challenge. The thief gets the jewel and admires but eventually he puts it away and continues with his life till he somehow stumbles on it again and remembers how beautiful it is, and all the reasons he wanted it in the first place. Is that how you look at Ana, for your own selfish needs? You want her in your life then you'll turn your back on her till something or someone brings you back together and you'll play the part of wanting her in your life. Does Ana not deserve more than a day or two of your time before you grow tired?" I stand up and punch the wall at what he is saying.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Chapter 17**

 **CHRISTIAN**

"Fuck you John! I already told you it's not about the chase and this isn't a fucking game. Ana was never a game to me. I know what you've fucking said and have been saying and it pisses me off because nowI can see that this whole time I treated Ana like shit. That was never my intention John, fuck she deserved and still deserves so much better than that and I was nothing but a fucking dick to her. All this time I thought I was doing the right thing but all I did was hurt her John. Fucking hell! I can't believe how selfish I truly was, I mean I knew it to some extent and making love to Ana was the best thing I've ever done John. I know my reasons were all wrong but I didn't see it like that at the time as taking advantage of her but fuck I hate myself for that then to tell her it was a mistake when it was far from it. God I was so selfish and I just wanted to make Ana mine, I wanted to feel connected to her. I needed to feel her to show me that we were still okay, I wanted her to feel my love for her and I needed to feel hers. I couldn't stand the thought of someone else touching her when it should be me. I know I had no right especially when I had fucked Jacqueline but I swear John the arrangement between Jacqueline and I had been over for some time." I say as John continues to write something down.

"This is good Christian, I'm glad you can see what you did with Ana was not so much an act of love but for your own need. I believe that you made love to Ana and connected in a way you've never connected with anyone one else but the way you acted afterwards and the reasons that you did it were not honorable." John tells me and I nod because he's right.

"I can't believe I let my mind get so clouded that I couldn't see that all I needed was everything Ialready had. My family, Ana and her family, I was so stupid." I pace back and forth and look back at John and I know he's going to piss me off again.

"You still haven't told me why now? It's like you avoid the question Christian. Why after all this are you so insistent on making it work with Ana? Do you even know what you want from her? I get it Christian I do but how can I be sure you do love her, truly love her? How will she know that as soon as Jacqueline snaps her fingers you won't be running to her and once again leave Ana alone like if nothing ever happened? Like she never mattered? How can I be sure that you are not going to just throw her away again once you get what you want from her?" John asks looking at me in all seriousness.

"I'm not going to do that to Ana again, she deserves so much better than the way I've treated her. Ana fucking matters John, she always had I just have a piss poor way of showing it but all that is going to change. Fuck Jacqueline! That bitch can rot in hell for all I care, I can't believe I let her use me for so long but this has nothing to do with her right now. I had already started pulling away from Jacqueline and now after all this I don't need her in my life or the lifestyle. You remember when I would had mentioned I wanted to take a break but I never did because Jacqueline never gave me a chance to think or breath she was always there wheeling me in. I was so stupid. This whole time I've been without a sub I've realized I don't need it at all." I say.

"I'm glad you can finally see it Christian with a little push but you're seeing it now on your own..." John starts to say and I know he's going to ask me the questions again.

"I don't want to answer you fucking stupid question because it makes me a bigger asshole. Dammit John, now I know I can fully give myself to Ana. I was so convinced I was such a fuck up I had to find a way to make myself better and I took Jacqueline up on her offer. Then when we got older and I saw Ana for her birthday for that moment I forgot about everything and it was just me and her. I had my own selfish reasons for agreeing to be her date but with Ana I always felt like a better person, there was never any pressure to be someone or any expectations we were just Ana and Christian. Everytime Ana looked at me i felt like I was her everythingstill, I wanted to feel that again. Ana never asked me for anything, she let me be me. Yet I let Jacqueline mess with my mind and think that I was too dependent on Ana. Even the morning after we both woke up I wasn't ready for it to end, I wanted more with her and from her. I know I couldn't commit to her which was the worse part of it all, which means I did take advantage of her love for me but I needed her John. I wasn't sure on where to go from there, I felt happy something I hadn't felt in such a long time." I take a deep breath and see John is writing more shit down.

"Jacqueline knew something was different with me but she didn't question it, she told me I was going to be a dom and no one should question me and that made me feel great. I wasn't going to answer to anybody, she then told me she had a few subs for me if I was ready. John when she mentioned the subs my smile faded, all I could think about was Ana and what we shared. A part of me was going to turn her down and take a chance but then Jacqueline told me how I still needed to learn some more and to fully get control of everything I would have to be a dom and really experience it to understand it. Jacqueline told me that I had been doing so well staying away from fights, doing great with my grades and all that shit so why would I want to risk ruining all the progress I've made so far. I knew if became be a dom I wouldn't be able to continue with Ana and a part of me was ready to give it up but there was that part of me that needed to know what it would be like. How could I not see it then, what Jacqueline was doing to me at the time. Fuck she knew I was thinking about it and she kept telling the things I needed to hear and I was too stupid to realize it. At that point I was thinking of what I needed, when I considered what I could give Ana I couldn't think of anything other than dragging her into my darkness."

"That's where you are wrong Christian, you weren't dragging Ana into your darkness she was actually pulling you into the light but you didn't want to see it. You felt it when you were with her on the night of her birthday and you still chose to do the wrong thing. How can Ana ever feel that you love her after always coming last." John says.

"Don't you think I see that now. Ana should have always been first, I should have told Jacqueline to fuck off just like Elliot did but I didn't because I was to weak. I let myself be taken advantage of all over again. Ana is the love of my life John and I know we belong together it fucking took me this long to finally see it. Since the day that she was in my office I could feel it the electricity we both share, it's stronger than before. I looked in her eyes John and I see the way she looks at me it hasn't changed. I know that there is nothing that can stand in the way of us being together, well other than her telling me that she doesn't want me. I want to marry Ana and spend the rest of my life with her by my side. It took all this time for me to open up my eyes and I get that it might be to late but I have to try John, I'm not giving up that easy. That day in my office I realized that Ana is all I need in life, nothing else matters. I couldn't see it before because I had so many doubts and I was to scared of ruining her. Fuck the whole time all I did was hurt her not intentionally but I did and I'll always hate myself for it. This time it is different because I'm more stable and I can take care of her, she'll never need anything for the rest of her life and even though this was not part of the plan I'm getting my shit together."

"You feel like now you can take care of Ana that's why now you want to make things right? You know that she's the one for you?" John asks like I'm full of shit.

"Ana and I belong together and I fucking love her John. Fuck! You know all the shit that I would think, what kind of relationship would we have had. I would have really broken her heart and possibly made her hate me. I know there's a few things I have to do like remove Jacqueline from my life since all she did was teach me to fuck and control subs nothing else, and then she still made sure I pushed Ana away which was the worse mistake of my life. Ana's happiness means the world to me John and I know she's not truly happy, I see it in her eyes. I know that just like me there's something missing." I say.

"What if you're wrong Christian what if she is happy? Don't get me wrong, I get what you're saying and it does suck that it took you this long to figure it out and you suck with words. I do realize that at the time you couldn't figure what you wanted and to add to it you had Jacqueline calling all the shots so yes it's a good thing you didn't peruse Ana. If anything in a way you actually did a good thing but that doesn't give you the excuse of not looking for her sooner and it doesn't make it right that you slept with her knowing that you weren't going to fully give yourself to her. I'm glad you were conscious enough to make choices like that especially where Ana is concerned but because you made those choices you knew better and yes you say you are a selfish bastard and you are. Fuck if I was Ana's father I'd kick your ass. I'm glad that you are secure now Christian and Ana deserves that and a lot more and until you realize her worth and I mean her true worth then you don't deserve her. You need to be sure on what you want? All of this, it's not fair to Ana in any way, shape or form, do you realize that. You have done everything you wanted in a way and because of that you lost years of building something beautiful with the one person who loves you unconditionally. Now that you know you don't need that stuff now you decided Ana is good enough for your time? Now you want to make time for Ana? What gives you the right to decide when she gets to have you Christian?" John tells me and I don't know how I restrain myself from kicking his ass right now.

"It's not my choice I cant force her to be with me. I know that I don't need it the lifestyle or Jacqueline John, I realized that it's pointless to me. I didn't learn anything from it, all I'm doing is fucking subs after I punish them. Hell they all look similar to Ana not that I want to punish Ana but I can see why I'm attracted to them. John I know Ana's not truly happy because I know her just like she knows me, we just have that connection. Theres that part of me that didnt look for something more serious or long term because i know Ana is my forever. I know I have no right to say this and it's ridiculous after everything I've done and put her through but she belongs to me but that being said if I know that I'm not her happiness then I will let her go. If I truly can't offer her what she needs and wants, I will walk away. I love her with all I have and if I have to continue living my life without her then I'll do it. If Ana can tell me that she has everything she wants in life and is truly happy. That she has found her happily ever after like she use to tell me then I will stay away, but I have to try. I want to show her that I value her but I have to really try and make this work John, I wasted too much time on bullshit. I won't give up that easily this time if Ana decided to give me a chance and I know it won't be easy but I'm in it fully this time. I'm in a btter place, I can protect her the way I shoild have done back then. Hell I'm dealing with all my issues even if she did give me the push I needed. John I know that I can give her all me heart, all of me but I know I have to face this shit head on. " I say and John smiles up at me.

"That's what I needed to hear Christian that you are willing to let Ana live her life without you. A person who truly loves someone will let them go to be happy. I wasn't going to help you get Ana back for your own selfish needs Christian and if for one second I think you're bullshitting me I will stop helping you. I will not be part of any game and I will not take any part in hurting Ana. I needed to get you to say it. Like you said it's not going to be easy and we still have a lot of work to do Christian but I think you are on the right track and with Elliot's help I think we can get a lot done." John tells me.

We talk a little more and I he talks more about Jacqueline and making sure I understand that she needs to be removed from my life which I agree. For once I actually feel hopeful and I'm looking forward to working with John to become the person my family and Ana have always seen in me.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hope you all enjoy! It's not going to be that easy ;)**

 **Chapter 18: Chapter 18**

 **CHRISTIAN**

It's been about three weeks after the intense sessions with John and I continue to see him and he really says I'm making progress. It hasn't been easy but I need this, I can't believe I never saw it before. I'm on my way to see Ana I had called to make an appointment with her at the office because I wasn't sure if she'd see me any other way. I made sure she didn't have anything important going on before I interrupt her day. Originally I would have barged in there and forced her to listen to me but given the past situations I know that wouldn't work and like John said I can't keep thinking that everything will go my way because it isn't especially when it comes to Ana. I'm not a patient man but when it comes to Ana I'll wait as long as it takes.

I walk to the front desk where a small brunette greets me with a huge smile. I ask for Ana and she tells me to go right in. I see Ana is on her computer typing away and really concentrating.

"Are you really busy? I can come back another time? I say breaking Ana's concentration. She smiles up at me and tells me to take a seat.

"What can I do for you Mr. Grey?" Ana asks trying to stay professional.

"I would like to speak to you if you have a few minutes to spare." I say not breaking eye contact.

"Did you purposely schedule this appointment right before lunch? Ana asks eyeing me suspiciously.

"No, that was all your secretary's doing. I simply called and asked if I could set up a time to speak with you, she seemed a little surprised but said that today you had an easy day and this time would probably be best." I say shrugging my shoulders.

"What did you want to talk about Christian?" Ana asks.

"Before I tell you what I came here to say can I ask you something?" I ask making her laugh.

"Christian you just did." Ana nods for me to continue.

"Ana are you happy? Are you truly happy?" I ask and she thinks about it for a while.

"Where's this coming from Christian?"

"I'm just curious." I keep looking at Ana and it's like she's trying to figure out if I'm up to something.

"Yes?" I start laughing and she smiles.

"Ana you don't sound sure?"

"Christian of course I'm happy. The question just seems odd. Truly happy? What does that even mean? I've never really thought about it. I'm happy for the most part. Why would you ask me that? You tell me, are you happy Christian?" Ana starts rambling on something she does when she gets nervous or doesn't know how to answer.

"It was just a simple question and I have my moments but I don't consider myself truly happy not in very long time. It was more like I was going through the motions in some ways. I guess the easiest way to ask if you are truly happy is have you gotten your happily ever after Ana?"

"I answered your first question already. Now what is it that you want to talk about? I smile at how curious and suspicious she seems to be.

"Yet you didnt answer if you've gotten your happily ever after." We both stare at each other.

"It's obvious I'm not getting an answer. I really wanted to apologize Ana, for everything." I say and take a deep breath.

"Christian we've been through this there's nothing to apologize for." Ana starts to say.

"Ana I need to say this. I hadn't realized it before but I was very wrong." I say as Ana giggles. "I really am sorry for the way I treated you and for pushing you away. You never deserved that and there was no real reason for me to have done that. I was nothing but a selfish bastard and at the time I thought I was doing the right but I now I see that I wasn't even close to doing the right thing. Then when I saw you at my office I just wanted to act like everything was perfectly fine between us. I started seeing Dr. Flynn again and I'm getting all my shit together and facing some really ugly truths but you were right it was much needed."

"That makes me really happy Christian. I'm happy that you're finally opening up to someone about everything, I just hope you are doing it for you." Ana tells me and I can see some hope in her eyes which makes me happy.

"At first I was going to do it for you but then after Elliot found out and he pretty much slapped me with the ugly truth I realized I had to do it for me. I was so blinded and didn't want to accept it but I knew I had to, if you and Elliot saw how bad Jacqueline was and how she didn't help me then it must be true. I started seeing Dr. Flynn and well lets just say it wasn't pretty."

"I truly am happy for you Christian, all I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. There was always something holding you back but that doesn't matter, all that matters is that you are moving forward the right way this time." I can tell she's thinking of something and her eyes get watery but she does her best to cover it with her smile.

"Ana I am sorry for the hurtful words I ever told you..." I start to say when Ana looks up at me.

"Christian it's in the past. You already explained it to me what happened and it hurt but I'm glad you told me and it's fine." Ana tells me and I can hear her voice cracking.

"Ana it's not fine, and I get what you're saying. I know that in your own way you've forgiving me but I owe it to you to tell you how sorry I truly am. God Ana you have no idea how sorry I really am, I should have known better. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I still have that little model helicopter you gave me, it's in my study at Escala. I built it that same day and I know it probably doesn't matter but I had my dad buy my a glass case for it and kept it with me ever sense. I was so excited when I saw it Ana but instead I acted like a complete jerk." I look up at Ana and I know she's trying really hard to keep the tears in and I know she won't talk because then she'll cry.

"You have no idea how much I love you, I was just so blind to see it back then. I was so caught in trying to make myself better. I never once thought of anyone else or the consequences." I move my chair around the desk so that now I'm next to Ana, I turn her to face me.

"You are so kind and loving Ana and I know I don't deserve you. You have to know Ana that when we made love on your birthday, everything we felt was real. Our connection is real, the love, the emotions that we felt it was all real and I know deep down inside you've known it all this time. I wanted it as much as you did. It was never a mistake, I honestly didn't want it to end but I let myself get pulled into doing something that was huge mistake. The only thing I should have done that morning is stayed with you, I should have chosen you and I'm sorry that I made you feel like it meant nothing to me. Ana you have to know that it was the best night of my life and the only thing I would do different is stay with you but we can't go back in time and I hate myself for that. I should have looked for you sooner but I didn't think I had anything to offer you and I always kept putting myself first when it should have been you all this time. I know how much I fucked up and I still have a lot of work to do on myself but I'm getting there Ana. I don't know what will happen between us but I know what I want and I'm sorry it took me so long to admit to it. I know I've been apologizing this whole time but I mean it Ana, I swear I do and I will make things right. I know I can't pressure you into giving me a chance and you probably don't want to and I wouldn't blame you. I'm sorry I didn't come here to ask for a chance I just wanted to apologize and make you see that what you and I had was never a mistake, I know what I said but it was all a lie to push you away. God Ana you have no idea how much I wish I could take it back but look at me baby, I know you see it in my eyes when I tell you that it was a beautiful night and what we felt was real. I love you." I say as I wipe the tears from Ana's cheeks as she slowly sobs.

"Christian it means a lot to me." Ana tells me as she takes a deep breath trying to get herself together.

"I believe you, I can see it in your eyes, I guess a part of me always new that it was real. I love you too Christian but there's too much going on right now and you said it yourself you still have a lot of work to do. I'll help you any way I can but only as a friend. I want to be there for you Christian I really do, and I'm your biggest supporter but I can't rush into anything. I know this was a big step for you and I appreciate it, you have no idea how much it has helped me to hear you say that to me. I wish things could have been different and I don't blame you for it, part of me understands what you were going through but I also know that you had a choice and it wasn't me and there's no point in going back to it because we can't changed what happened. I trusted you even after the first time, I trusted you with everything I had. My body, soul and heart, and I don't regret it even after you harsh words I don't regret it and I kept believing that you were just saying that to keep me away and now that I know it meant just as much to you as it did to me, it makes it even more special but it doesn't change what has happened to us Christian. I'm scared and I shouldn't tell you this but I am, what if you get bored of me, what if you realize I'm not enough. I'm not going to be second guessing myself, I'm in a good place right now and I can't..." Ana starts to say and I hold her tight to me.

"It's okay Ana, I didn't come here with any expectations. I want us to start over even if it's just as friends. I know you can't trust me and trust me I know how blessed I am that you would still talk to me after everything. You are so special Ana and beautiful. Thank you for hearing me out." I say.

"Christian I'm here if you need me as a friend, if it's going to help with the therapy. And if you're being serious about starting over as friends then I agree." Ana says and I don't know if it's because I'm so excited I pick her up and spin her around.

"Sorry I just got a bit excited." I say putting her down.

"Just friends Christian if you try anything this won't work. I still need space and time." Ana tells me and I smile at her. I let her get back to work and I can't help but feel excited and hopeful. It's a start and that's more than what I expected. I have to make sure that I don't go over board.

 **ANASTASIA**

Christian left the office and I feel happy but I'm nervous too. This could be a nice start for both of us and as much as I wanted to jump in his arms and kiss him I knew I couldn't. I'm so scared of being hurt again and from what I know Jacqueline is still in his life, not that it would make a big difference because Christian still has a lot of things he need to straighten out in his life. I don't even know if he's still in the lifestyle and I know that part of me will always feel like I'm not enough for him. I think back to when Elliot talked to me about Christian he had just found out and he thanked me for not giving up on his brother and said I did the right thing by letting him figure things out on his own.

"I'm doing what I can to help you know, it feels good to finally step up as his big brother. I mean I've always been there but to know that he actually wants my help, God Ana I hate that he went through that shit but I'm glad that it's bringing us closer. I know that's fucked up of me but my mom always told us to look at the best part of every bad situation." Elliot had told me.

We both decided that we were going to let Jacqueline dig her own grave unless we saw that Christian might go back to his old ways but so far it seems like he's really serious on leaving all that behind. From what I know he's been pushing Jacqueline away but she is extremely insistent about being in Christian's life. I know they have a business together but she is becoming desperate, she's insulted me a few times when I've run into her but I just walk away not sinking to her level which pisses her off more which I find funny. I know it's a bit childish but I can't help it. I'm broken from my thoughts with my phone buzzing, it's an unknown caller so I let it go to voice mail.

I think about Christian and I hope it really is all falling into place like it should and that Christian opens his eyes before it's too late. When he asked if I got my happily ever after I couldn't answer because I've always thought it would be him. My heart has always belong to Christian, to see him happy made me happy. His grumpy moods, his different laughs, his smiles, just the way he is. I know he couldn't see it but he's a great person. I just know that I have to stay guarded around Christian. I know I should date but I just haven't met anyone who would give me that first date jitters. I've had plenty of guy friends but none have made me want more. I guess I'll have to wait and see what the future holds.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19: Chapter 19**

 **ANASTASIA**

The Coping Together Ball is tonight, Kate and Mia are super excited which makes me laugh. I'm on my way to my parent's house to get ready. It's been two weeks since Christian came to talk to me. True to his word he has kept his distance and has respected my wishes. We all went to dinner one night and he acted like a true gentlemen not once did he try anything with me. I was happy about it because I'm not ready for more but at the same time I miss his persistence. I know it's only two weeks but then it makes me wonder that maybe he wasn't as interested as he thought but if that is the case then I know it's because it was all a game. I'm going to drive myself crazy just thinking besides this is what I wanted in the first place. I need to stop and just go with it, I know if it's meant to be it will be.

I get out of the shower and start getting ready. Once my hair and makeup are done I put on my dress. I can't reach the zipper. I put my shoes on then I'll head over to Grace's house hopefully I can sneak around back or I can have Kate meet me outside to zip me up. I'm about to grab my bag and a coat to cover me when there's a knock on the bedroom door and I wonder if maybe Kate and Mia decided to come here instead which would be great. I know we were going to meet here but then they decided to just get ready at Grace's house since they were running late like usual.

"Come in." I yell as the door slowly opens. Christian peeks his head in slowly.

"Christian?" I ask a bit confused as to why he's here.

"Your parents told me to come get you since once again neither of us have a date." Christian tells me apologetic. "I tried to get out of it but Elena insisted that you were taking to long and they all had to much to do so I would be doing her a huge favor if I would a least come check on you." I can't help but laugh.

"It's alright. It was bound to happen." I say holding my dress up and Christian looks at me questionably.

"I knew I should of just shown up late but Elliot said he needed a ride. Ana why are you holding up your dress? Is it too big?" Christian asks and I laugh.

"No, it's just that it has a zipper and I can't reach it. Kate and Mia were suppose to be here but they were running late and decided to just get ready at your parents house and well I couldn't figure out how to zip it up, but since you're here do you mind?" Christian laughs and tells me to turn around.

I can feel his fingers as he slowly zips up my dress, and it sends tingles all over my body. I hear his breathing change a bit and when he reaches the top his hands slowly caresses my shoulder blade. Who knew zipping up a dress could be so intense. Christian clears his throat making me turn around to look at him. I want him to kiss me but I need to keep a straight head around him. This is going to be a long night.

"You ready?" Christian asks and I can see the hunger in his eyes, I wonder if mine are the same.

"Taylor! It's good to see you" I say as I hug him making him laugh.

"Miss Steele, it's good to see you. I hope Mr. Grey didn't give you a hard time." Taylor says winking at me.

"He's behaving but we all know what will happen if he tries anything."

"Taylor lets go before I fire you. And you Anastasia will do good to behave yourself." Christian tells me trying to keep a straight face.

"You look very beautiful by the way." I can't help but smile and thank Christian for his compliment.

The drive to Grace and Carrick's house is short since they live so close to my parents. We get out of the SUV and the paparazzi's are already outside taking pictures. Christian and I try to walk fast but Grace gives us a stern look so we pose for a few pictures.

"Thank you. I don't know why the two of you are always so scared of a few pictures." Grace tells us with a smile as we walk towards her.

"I don't see the point in the pictures." Christian says kissing her on the cheek.

"Well darling it's just part of the package, besides Ana deserves to be shown off even if it's next to a beast like you." Grace says winking at me as we laugh.

We walk to the back and Christian goes to talk to some associates while I say greet a few people I know. I make my way to the bar and see that Christian is there as well. We grab our drinks and start making our way to the table when Jacqueline steps right in front of us.

"Christian I haven't heard from you in a while but I know you've been busy with work. I do hope we get a chance to talk later." Jacqueline says trying her best to smile.

"I'd rather just enjoy my night Jacqueline now if you'll excuse us." Christian says putting his hand on the small of my back as we walk away not giving her a chance to respond.

We take our seats after greeting everyone and we all fall into a light conversation. I can see Jacqueline shooting daggers at me from across the tent, I just smile at her and turn my attention back to the conversation. Dinner is being served and I can't believe how hungry I actually am. Once we are done our table is cleared, I hadn't even realized when Elliot got up till I notice him walking back to the table with a beautiful brunette and a guy who looks to be about Christian's age.

"Everyone this is Hunter and Jules, we are going to start on a project for them." Elliot says as he introduces us all. Christian shakes Hunter's hand and it seems they already know each other.

"This young lady is Ana my personal assistant, I know you've talked to her on the phone occasionally." Elliot says.

"It's nice to finally meet you in person." I say remembering that I had spoken to Hunter on the phone a few times about the contract and the pricing when Elliot wasn't available.

"It's nice to finally see who the beautiful voice belongs to." Hunter says with a huge smile as Elliot laughs along with Jules.

We make small conversation and I learn that Jules and Hunter decided to move to Seattle so that they can concentrate on their business. They go back to their table and Christian gives me a tight smile but doesn't say anything. Kate, Mia and I leave to get ready for the auction. My dad tells me he'll be bidding on me which makes me laugh. Christian winks at me then gives me a thumbs up. When it's Mia's turn there's a lot of bids going on and Ethan is getting pissed, at one point he yells she's taken then makes a high bid winning the first dance and I can't help but laugh. It's finally my turn and I'm nervous because all the girls got really good bids. I know my dad and Christian are going to bid on me but it's till nerve wrecking. The MC announces my name and my dad of course bids first followed by Christian and a few others which I can see bothers Christian. Right when I think it's over and that Christian won, Hunter out bids him. They go back and forth for a while, till Elliot whispers something to Christian who smiles and then nods letting Hunter get the high bid. Christian helps me off the stage just as Hunter approaches us.

"I would have paid a million dollars to have the first dance with you." Hunter tells me and Christian just rolls his eyes.

"That bullshit won't work on her Hunter." Christian tells him.

"Who said it's bullshit. Just like you I was willing to keep going. I'm glad I get the first dance Christian and maybe even the last." I start laughing and Christian and Hunter both look at me.

"First of all you'd have to ask if I want to dance not just assume I'm going to dance with you. Now you paid for the first dance and it's for a good cause so lets get it out of the way." Hunter and Christian look at each other and Christian has a huge smirk.

"Feisty, I like it." Hunter says after a while walking behind me to the dance floor.

We dance the first song and it feels nice, I thought Hunter was going to try something but he's been respectful the whole time. We talk about his plans in Seattle and how excited he is to have Elliot taking on this project. I've noticed Christian had watched me the whole time. After the song ends I start walking back to the table.

"You really are only going to give me one dance?" Hunter asks.

"I'm not much of a dancer." I say shrugging my shoulders.

When we reach the table Christian and Jules are talking and I notice that Hunter doesn't look to happy about it. I'm curious to know what he and Jules are to each other.

"No more dancing?" Jules ask and I get the feeling she wanted more time with Christian.

"Ana's not much of a dancer she only agreed to do the auction because it's for a good cause." Christian says with a huge smile.

"I'm sure Ana would love to dance the night away with me but I thought I'd let her take a break before I tired her out." Hunter says with a smirk and I notice Christian tighten his fists.

"You two need to stop talking like you get to make choices for me." I say as me and Jules laugh and Christian just shrugs his shoulders.

Jules takes a step closer to Christian and I notice he tries to step away without making it obvious.

"What's going on with you two?" Hunter asks.

"Christian was keeping me company while you danced with Ana since I don't really know anyone here." Jules says with a huge smile.

I know she's reading more to it than what it really is because Christian doesn't seem interested and he was watching me while I was dancing. I'm pretty sure he only did this to upset Hunter for dancing with me. I noticed Hunter tensed up with what Jules said and I know I'm being silly right now and it shouldn't bother me.

"That's not usually like you Christian." Hunter says suspiciously.

Before Christian can say anything I give them all my best smile then excuse myself and start walking away. I know Christian wants to come after me but Hunter gets his attention. I don't know what he told him because I just continued walking. I can't believe how ridiculous I'm being right now, it shouldn't be bothering me. I can't help but wonder why Hunter doesn't want Jules to talk to Christian, I get that it's a protective brother thing but it seemed like there was more to it. I run into Kate and Mia who drag me to the ladies room.

"Where have you two been this whole time?" I ask.

"We've been watching you from a distance. I don't know why you only danced one song with that hottie." Kate winks at me with a huge smile.

"My brother wanted to kill Hunter. The way he was looking at you the whole time, I'm surprised he didn't cut in." Mia says laughing.

"You two were suppose to be dancing not looking at me." I say with a smile.

"Oh sweetie we needed to make sure you didn't need back up just in case Hunter decided to devour you on the dance floor or Christian trying to jump in and take you away." Kate tells me as she makes what I think are karate moves. We all start laughing.

"Well thank you kindly but I think it's all good from here." I say as we walk back to the table.

The rest of the night goes rather quickly with all us of talking and having fun. Christian has been great we even danced a few songs. Some of the guest have started leaving but I know we still need the fireworks. Jules had asked Christian to dance but he told her he needed to talk to my dad about something. I couldn't help but smile and my dad tried hard to keep a straight face. Kate and I decided to go to the bathroom and when we came out Elliot was waiting for her. I decided to go to the library for a little bit just to have some quiet time. I forgot how beautiful Carrick and Grace's library was, I use to spend a lot of time here. I hear the door open and I turn around wondering who would be coming in here.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20: Chapter 20**

 **A/N: So there's a lot switching between CPOV and APOV I hope it's not to confusing. Hope you all** **enjoy! You all have been so amazing thank you so much for the follows/favorites and reviews. I'm** **sorry for the mistakes I'll will do my best on fixing it but thank you all so much**

 **ANASTASIA**

I turn around to see who had just come in and I definitely wasn't expecting Jacqueline. I was sure she had left since I hadn't seen her for a while. I need to keep a better look out for her because the way she's looking at me right now I feel scared. It's like she could just kill me and by the time anyone finds me she'll be long gone.

"Sweet little Anastasia. You are a pretty little thing, I can see why Christian has always felt attracted to you. Such a waste really when he can do so much better. I don't get what the big deal..." Jacqueline starts to say when I interrupt her. I do my best not to let her see how intimidated I am by her right now.

"Is that all Jacqueline? I mean are you just going to put me down or do you actually have something important to tell me." I say in my best firm voice. I can tell she looks surprised but then she has an evil smile.

"You have some fire in you but I still think you are too boring. I know that you are not enough for Christian, you can't full fill his needs. Right now you are just that business deal that is hard to close, but eventually he'll turn his back to on you again like he did before Anastasia don't get your hopes up. Did you know I didn't even have to ask him twice to choose, it only took one time and he was quick to drop you because you never meant anything to him. Christian just felt sorry for you, I'm sure he still does." I do my best not to let the tears fall because it hurts to hear her say that.

"Think what you want Jacqueline but it seems to me that he's tired and bored of you, actually he has been for a while. You can put me down all you want but deep down inside you know that he is finally realizing that I am all he ever needed and I don't have to manipulate or threaten him to come to me. Unlike you, Christian and I have a special connection even after all these years it's still there. You are losing your hold on Christian and it's scaring you because he's all you have left but you know what I'm glad he is finally opening up his eyes. It doesn't matter if it took this long at the end he'll see how evilyou really are. You can fool a lot of people but not me and right now I can see how desperate you are. So please save your threats and insults because I'm not biting." I say and before I know it I feel herhand on my cheek. God that burns, she hits hard.

 **CHRISTIAN**

I see Elliot and Kate walking back to the table and I wonder where Ana is because they have been gone for a long time now.

"Where's Ana?" I ask and Kate looks confused.

"I don't know when we came out of the bathroom she said she'd meet us back here." Kate says and I know she's going to back towards the house.

"I'm sure she went inside the house to be alone. You know Ana she was looking a bit tired already." Ray says with a smile.

I suddenly get a bad feeling and I know I should have had Sawyer watching Ana tonight instead of giving him the night off.

"I'm going to go check on her." I say and Ray gives me a big smile.

I start walking towards the house as I text Taylor who is by my side in seconds. We walk towards the library because that has always been Ana's favorite room. When we get closer I hear loud voices and I recognize Jacqueline's. As soon as I hear her insult Ana I want to rush in there but Elliot holds me back. I didn't even realize he had followed me.

"No one knows I came to look for you. I didn't want to look suspicious so I said I needed to take a call." I look at Elliot wondering why he's here.

"I noticed Jacqueline wasn't at her table so I figured something might be up. Don't go in there just yet, let's see what Jacqueline says. If we think Ana is going to get hurt we'll go in there." Elliot tells me and Taylor nods in agreement. I hate it but I agree to it.

"You little slut, you think you know him so well? You don't know half of the things he's done and once you do, I know you won't see him the same. Hell you'll turn your back on him because you will never understand the lifestyle I have taught him. I made sure he could depend on me for all his needs. Christian will never be satisfied with you, surely you can see that you are not even close to what he needs and wants. I made Christian who he is, I made sure I molded him to become the man I wanted him to be. I trained him well, so that when I need him he will be there for me. You were just in the way and I did him a favor by making him choose, and if you think that I am just going to let you come back into his life and destroy everything I worked so hard for well you are sadly mistaken because I will destroy you till you have nothing left and I will show Christian how pathetic you really are. Christian is mine!" Jacqueline tells Ana and I can't help but tighten my fist. I can feel Taylor tense next to me as well.

 **ANASTASIA**

"He's not yours Jacqueline never was and you did not create Christian because he has always been very driven and smart. You did nothing for him but mess with his head, you played on his vulnerability. Christian built GEH on his own because he worked hard not because of you." I say trying not to say to much because I don't want her to know that I know everything.

I wouldn't want to betray Christian's trust it would be his choice to tell her.

"You don't know what you are talking about. I made Christian and I helped him without me he would be nothing." Jacqueline say as we hear the door slam shut. I look up as Jacqueline turns around to see who is there and we see an extremely pissed off Christian with Elliot and Taylor.

Christian comes towards me and I can see that he is going to put his hand on my cheeks but I move away because it still hurts. By the look he's giving me I'm guessing I have mark. I can see that Elliot and Taylor look like want to kill Jacqueline.

"Why the fuck would you lay a hand on Ana? You will pay dearly for that Jacqueline." Christian practically yells and I don't think I've ever seen him this angry not even when he would get in fights.

"Oh please she was out of line besides I barely even tapped her." Jacqueline says.

"Out of line what the fuck are you thinking. Ana was not out of line you were, and I will fucking ruin you Jacqueline." Christian says.

"Christian don't let this little tart ruin our friendship, the things she said I mean you would understand if you would have heard her." Jacqueline says trying to sound innocent.

"I heard enough Jacqueline! You trained me to be what you wanted so I can do as you asked! You really think you made me?! You are delusional!" Christian yells as Taylor pulls me back and helps me to the chair.

"Without me you would be nothing Christian I helped you." Jacqueline says and I can hear her voice cracking and it looks like she's actually scared.

I notice Elliot get closer to Christian and I think it's more to stop him from doing something to Jacqueline. I nod to Taylor letting him know I'm alright and he walks back to where Christian and Elliot are.

"Tell me how you helped me Jacqueline? Please because to be honest you just taught me to fuck and to control a sub. I still get angry, I became more distant with my family, I still can't be touched so explain to me how you fucking helped me." Christian says in a really cold and calm voice which scares even me.

"That's why you need a sub Christian to release stress. You didn't get into fights because you were controlling your outbursts. I rewarded you for being good. Without me you wouldn't be who you are today." Jacqueline says.

"You are a delusional bitch. Like Ana said my brother is very well driven and smart, he is who he is because he worked hard to get what he wanted. It had nothing to do with you because all you did was distract him and distance him from us." Elliot says and I know he's pissed but he's doing really good at hiding it.

 **CHRISTIAN**

"You don't know what you are talking about Elliot you wouldn't understand it. I helped Christian and he knows it."

"You did nothing but beat me and fuck me Jacqueline when I was fifteen. I still got angry and as for the fighting it's not because I got better at controlling it, it's because I didn't want you to beat the shit out of me if you found out. I isolated myself from everyone so that I didn't risk getting in a fight, fucking hell that's why I didn't even have friends because I preferred to keep away from everyone. Fuck! How the fuck did you help me? Explain how I would get release with a sub because now that I think about it I would get to work on Monday and I was still in a shitty mood. If I was really releasing stress or if a whole weekend with a sub actually worked wouldn't I be happy or at least show up to work with a smile. I believed you for so many years and I possibly lost so much time from the people I love. I fell for you idiotic lies because they were stupid now that I think about it and because I was an idiot and made the worst choices I could have lost the love of my life and all for what? Please tell me Jacqueline explain to me what I gained out of it other than being distant from my family and keeping a secret from them, God I pushed Ana out of my life and hurt her emotionally which I regret so much. I wish I could take it all back. What was it that you helped me with seriously?" Jacqueline stays quiet for a while because she doesn't have the answer. She never once thought I would question her.

"Your family didn't understand you but I did. I knew what you needed." Jacqueline says in such a weak voice and I know she's scared I can see it in her eyes.

"You didn't know shit! Get out of my life and stay away from Ana and my family do I make myself clear. I will no longer be a silent partner in your salons. If you come near me or anyone I care about I will ruin you Jacqueline. And so we are all clear you are wrong about Ana she is all I ever needed and she's more than enough, I'm the one that is not good or enough for her. Elliot and Ana both know everything and they didn't turn their backs on me Jacqueline because that's what people who love you do they stick by you no matter what but I was so stupid back then because I didn't understand that. I never thought I could fit in but they didn't expect anything of me, I didn't have to be perfect."

"Christian you can't be serious! You are nothing wi..." Jacqueline says.

"Enough Jacqueline because I am dead serious! Stay away from me, Ana and my family or I will destroy you. You are the one who is nothing without me. You are lucky I am giving you my half of the salons but don't mess with me Jacqueline or I will sell them all and you will be left with nothing. I am done being your puppet. I've played your games for far too long and I thank my lucky stars that I am blessed with so many people who love me despite what I've put them through and have stuck by me to open my eyes. Hell even Taylor knew you were bad news but I didn't want to listen. So fuck you and your lies Jacqueline, I am done, you are not welcomed in GEH or any place I own. Now get the fuck out of my parents house!" I yell making Jacqueline jump.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21: Chapter 21**

 **CHRISTIAN**

"Ch..." Jacqueline starts to say when we all hear my mothers voice making us all turn to look at her.

"You heard my son, get out of my house Jacqueline and stay the hell away from all my family. I should have never trusted you, I should have known better."

"Oh please Grace I understood what he needed. I knew what he was going through and besides you could have stopped him from coming over but you didn't. " Jacqueline says.

"Don't you dare put this on my mother Jacqueline, she did try at the beginning but I insisted on going over and I had them agree to letting me go as long as I stayed out of trouble. Grace did nothing wrong and this was not her fault so don't you fucking turn this on her." I say getting really close to her and I feel my mother grab my hand pulling me back.

"It's bad enough you took advantage of my son in a sexual manner and beat him for being a teenage boy but you invaded his privacy. How did you get access to that information Jacqueline? You didn't know what the hell he needed all you did was find his weak spots and played on that. I never spoke to you about him or his fighting? I know that Elena would never betray my trust like that." My mom asks in a now calm voice. I always assumed my mom would talk about me but I would like to know how she knew what I was going through.

"I have my ways Grace you aren't the only one who knows people in the right places. I just had to ask and I was able to get the information I needed and for the right price I was able to get updates." Jacqueline says with a smug look.

"You think you are so smart but you just let me know exactly who it is that gave you Christian's file and they will pay dearly just like you will." My mom says and Jacqueline cowers away but then she turns to look at back at me.

"I know you still need me Christian..." Jacqueline starts to say when all of a sudden I see my mother punch Jacqueline stopping her from talking.

"He never needed you and never will again. You must have trouble hearing because I clearly heard when my son told you to get the fuck out! You are finished Jacqueline, I will make sure of it." My mother says as Taylor grabs Jacqueline by the arm to escort her out.

I see Sawyer walking in to help Taylor and I wonder when he got here.

"Mom..." I say but she just squeezes my hand for comfort.

My dad closes the door and I hadn't realized he was in here. I rush over to Ana and see that Elliot is by her side making her smile and I'm glad he's checking on her but I'm jealous that he can make her smile when it should be me.

"Ana I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" I ask.

Ana smiles up at me and puts her hand on my cheek which I lean into. "It's not your fault Christian and I'm perfectly fine but you all have terrible timing." Ana says making us laugh.

"I wish I would have realized what she was sooner."

"Christian all that matters is that you know now and you did the right thing. I know you considered her a friend and I'm sorry that you lost her but you needed to remove her from you life."

"Trust me Ana I will not miss her, I actually feel relieved. It's hard to explain but I do feel lighter now." I say as she continues to smile at me.

"You should talk to your parents." Ana tells me as she gets up.

"Ana dear please stay. I know it will be easier for Christian if you are by his side." My dad tells Ana with a smile. We all sit down and Elliot stays as well and sits next to me and Ana.

"When did you find out Elliot?" My dad asks.

"A few months ago." Elliot responds.

"Don't be upset with Elliot I asked him not to say anything." I say and I look over at Elliot who gives me a smile and it reminds of when we were younger and we'd get in trouble for picking on Mia.

"Son we are just glad that Elliot could help you out. We wish you could have come to us but we can understand why you didn't. Christian I am so sorry that we didn't see it or that we weren't there for you. I should have known better or spend more time with you." My dad starts to say and I can hear his voice cracking.

"Dad it's not your fault, there's nothing you could have done. It was all me I had convinced myself that I wasn't good enough and that I didn't fit in, I put pressure on myself. God you guys did everything you could and gave me so much love I was just so stubborn to see it back then. I wasn't open to the help you guys were trying to give me. Jacqueline just knew the right words to say and it was stupid of me to believe her. Mom please don't believe what she said because I know that if you would have stopped me from going I would have acted out more. I somehow put pressure on myself by thinking I wasn't good enough. Mom, Dad I love you so much and I'm so sorry for hurting you this way. You are the best parents anyone can ask for and I really am sorry for keeping this secret from you." I say as the tears roll down my cheeks and Ana squeezes my hand as Elliot squeezes my shoulders.

"Christian you have nothing to be sorry about. We love you and are very proud of you, we always have been. I'm just sorry that Jacqueline got her claws in you and you are not stupid for believing her lies darling, she is just a vicious snake who pries on vulnerability. You are such a strong person Christian you have overcome so much please don't think any less of yourself. We should have been there for you but just know that we are always here for you Christian." My mom says putting her hands on my cheeks and wiping away my tears.

"Son we need to know what exactly it is Jacqueline did to you. I mean we have an idea from what we heard but please explain it to us. Don't keep any more secrets don't give Jacqueline the power to hold anything against you." My dad says.

"Dad you will be so disappointed if you knew what I have done." I say and Elliot gives me an encouraging nudge.

"Son trust us we will not think of you differently. We have an idea but we need to hear it from you, I mean we heard enough to make our own assumptions and we've heard rumors of what kind of things she liked but your father is right don't give Jacqueline the power to hold anything against you." My mom says squeezing my hand.

"It's better that they know Christian. They love you and just like me and Elliot they will not see you differently." Ana says reassuring me.

"We heard the part where Jacqueline beat you and well everything that was said after that. I know it's hard for you but we need to know son." My dad says clearing his throat.

"It started when I was fifteen. Jacqueline told me she could help me control my temper and at first it started off simple with doing backyard work and if I got frustrated she'd make me do it again but then after a few days she told me that there was a faster process but it was going to be intense. Jacqueline showed me her basement where there was a lot of things like whips, canes and other sex things, the rumors are true she's into the BDSM lifestyle. I was a horny fifteen year old who couldn't be touched and she told me she could also help me with that as well, that I would have full control of everything. She explained that if I did good and stayed out of trouble that I would be rewarded, but if I continued to fight or got out of line I would be punished." I say looking at my parents and my dad is trying hard not to show emotion but his eyes betray him and my mom has tears in her eyes.

"Reward you with sex?" My dad asks and I nod a yes.

"I started staying away from people so that I wouldn't get in a fight because I didn't want to get whipped or beaten with a cane. I felt like I deserved it, you know for being a bad kid. When I was alone I felt like I could control my temper better but now that I think about it I can see that I never controlled it I just found a way around it. If I wasn't around anyone they couldn't piss me off. Eventually Jacqueline told me I had to stay away from Ana because she was a distraction and she was going to ruin the progress I had already made. She told me I was far to dependent on Ana and that as long as I kept defending her I would never gain any control. Jacqueline started telling me how weak I was for expecting Ana to always calm me down. I was so stupid." I say and my dad stands next to me and tells me I was not stupid that if it were him in my shoes he'd probably make the same choice and I know he's just saying it make me feel better which I appreciate.

"I wanted you guys to be proud of me. I thought once you saw that I wasn't fighting anymore you I would finally be the son you could be proud to show off. It hurt to push Ana away but I felt like I had to do it, I didn't want to be weak. When I started doing good I would get rewarded with sex as you know. There were still times where I would get punished for not calling Jacqueline mistress or for talking back to her sometimes for still defending Ana. Eventually we ended our agreement and well she told me that I was ready to be a dom which is what she was. I was a bit excited but I wasn't sure if that's what I really wanted. I had taken a break from her and the lifestyle while she could get me a submissive. During that break I came home for Ana's birthday party and for a moment I forgot about how fucked up I really was and I actually felt normal, like I was enough and it was the best night of my life." My dad looks at Ana then me and then I see that he figured out what happened that night.

My mom doesn't seem to catch on which I'm thankful for. My dad gives me a stern look that tells me we will talk about it later.

"Ana always had a way of making me feel like myself and I'm sorry that sounds awful but it was nothing any of you said or did, it was just me putting that stress on myself but now I know how much you all loved me for me and never had any big expectations other than what parents normally have for their children. I don't know why I ever did that and if I could take it all back I would." I say.

My parents look at me with understanding eyes and soft smiles.

"Son it's okay we can understand that. Don't feel bad because we are not hurt by the way you felt, we do wish you could have come to us but it's in the past like Ana said what matters is that you are finally facing all your demons and that's what counts." My dad says which makes me feel better.

"After that night Jacqueline approached me at breakfast and told me she had a few subs ready for me. I knew she could sense I was having second thoughts and she told me how I needed to be a dom to fully understand the control I have. All the hard work I had done was going to finally pay off. I knew I was being selfish and only thinking of myself and yet once again I bought into what she was saying and agreed to take on a sub. I have punished woman who are in the lifestyle right before I fuck them and I'm not proud of it but at the time it was what I thought I needed. John knows there were a few times I wanted to leave it behind or take a break but Jacqueline always found a way to wheel me back in. A few weeks before Ana came back into my life again after all those years I had ended a contract with the last sub I had and I haven't had one since. I've realized I don't need them at all as intense as my therapy has been I really haven't had the urge to get one. Ana pretty much slapped me with the truth and then Elliot found out and he also gave me a wake up call and here were are." I say afraid to look at my parents.

"I take it that's the sweet version of it all." My dad says and I nod a yes.

"Christian this doesn't change how much we love you. We take it that those women knew what they were getting into?" My mom asks.

'Yes." I say.

"It's obvious you are getting the help you need son and that's all we could ask for but we will tell you again we are here for you just like we are for Mia and Elliot. If it ever feels too much for you just come to us we will always make time for you. We love you Christian and we are sorry that we didn't realize what was going on." My dad says rubbing my hair like when I was younger.

I pull him and my mom into a hug and I can hear my mom start crying, it takes my dad a while but he hugs me back carefully trying not to touch my back.

"You guys did the best you could with me, I'm just sorry for all the trouble I've caused but I promise no more secrets." I say.

My mom gives Ana and Elliot a hug and then walks out of the library followed by Elliot. My dad gives Ana a tight hug and whispers something to her which makes her smile, then he walks to me and squeezes my shoulder. We walk to the door and he tells me that we are going to talk about how I hurt Ana and I know what he means and I agree to meet with him tomorrow. I close the door and walk back towards where Ana is.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22: Chapter 22**

 **CHRISTIAN**

"I know this is not the best thing to say but it's really going to bruise." I tell Ana as I slowly caress her cheek and I'm glad she doesn't pull away from me. My mom walks back in with a bag of ice and she checks Ana's cheek.

"She really hit you hard my sweet girl. I think we should get an x-ray done to make sure she didn't break anything. I'm going to put some pressure Ana to check if I can feel anything because the bruise is pretty bad." My mom says and I know she's worried.

"It felt like she hit me with something but I didn't see anything on her hand, I was sure she just slapped me because I felt the sting but the pain doesn't go away." Ana says. I notice my mom barely touches her and she winces in pain.

"I don't feel anything out of the ordinary but I still think we should get you an x-ray."

"Grace I'll be fine I promise. I'm sure the ice will help." My mom hands Ana two ibuprofen and a glass of water and makes her promise to call her if the pain gets worse then she leaves. I look back at Ana and before I can say anything she tells me to stop apologizing.

"How are you really feeling Christian?" I sit next to Ana on the couch and let out a big sigh.

"You are the one who got hurt and you're asking how I'm feeling?" Ana gives me a stern look which makes me smile.

"I can't wrap my head around that fact that now my parents know and they still love me. I hate that they feel guilty about what I did with Jacqueline when it wasn't their fault even though they seemed more at ease towards the end. They were hurting for me Ana but they were so understanding do you know how many times I pretty much argued with myself about how they would never understand that no one would but all of you have been so supportive and loving. I've been so blessed but I was to stuck in my own pity that I couldn't see it. It's kind of funny because I had already started keeping my distance from Jacqueline because the more I talked to John I started realizing what she had done to me and tonight was just the perfect opportunity I needed to completely kick her out of my life. I really do feel good though, it's like I've been freed."

"I'm happy for you Christian, I know Elliot has been so happy about how close the two of you have become. Spend more time with your family that's all they ever really wanted and enjoy life." I grab Ana's hand and hold it.

"Ana I know you don't want to hear this and I don't blame you for not believing me but you need to know that I have always loved you even to this day my heart belongs to you and I know you feel it Ana. I know my actions have made you doubt my feelings for you but you know me better than anyone and I know you see it in my eyes and you feel it. Look I know it's not enough as much as I wish it was I know that it's not that simple. I also know that all this doesn't change anything, we're not going to ride into the sunset now that the wicked witch has been thrown out." I say making Ana laugh.

"You know you are the only one who can make me so nervous." I say not letting go of her hand.

"Ana I want to know if we can hang out as friends? Let's start fresh no pressure or expectations just us getting to know each other again. I know I'm asking for a lot and I don't deserve this chance but I think we can just get to..." Ana puts her finger on my lips as she giggles and the look in her eyes give me hope.

"You are right we can't just jump into something just because of what happened. I know all this has to be hard for you and I can see how dedicated you are to making things right and facing your demons. I've always know how you felt about me but the way you acted made me doubt that but it's in the past Christian there's no point in going back to it. We can't change it we can only move forward." Ana says and I look down at our hands.

"Christian I would like for us to start over and get to know each other again as friends and see where that road takes us but you have to promise me one thing." Ana tells me as I can't help the huge smile on my face.

"Anything Ana." I tell her has she giggles.

"You have to promise to tell me if you start seeing someone or if you decided to stay in the lifestyle. Don't get me wrong I get that you said you don't need it but if you ever decide you want to explore it the right way. I guess what I am trying to say it just be honest with me. I know we are starting off as friends and I'm not expecting you to not date anyone it wouldn't be fair, I'm just asking you to let me know encase things between us become more. I know this sounds silly and all but I hope you get what I mean, I'm not asking you to not see or hang out with other women just tell if you become interested in one so that I can know exactly where we stand..."

"Ana you are rambling on baby. I know what you mean and I promise to be fully honest with you and not keep secrets from you but I guess that means I can't force you not to hang out with other guys like that Jose fucker." I say making Ana laugh.

"You Mr. Grey are something else. We are not a couple and I know that it would be hard and I'll probably regret this one day but we are allowed to see other people since you and I are friends." Ana tells me and it hurts to hear her say that but I brought this upon myself.

"So if I took Jules to dinner you wouldn't m...ouch!" I say since Ana punched me.

"You are free to do as you wish Christian Grey. Thank you for telling me." Ana tries hard to give me her best smile but I know that she knows I was just trying to get a reaction out of her.

"Ana I'm sorry that was wrong of me it's not a game. I am taking this last thing I want to do is fuck this up and ruin my chances before we even start."

"It's okay I was about to bring up Hunter but you beat me to it." Ana says sticking her tongue out at me.

"That is not funny Ana."

"Isn't it?" Ana is smiling and looks so beautiful I really want to kiss her and it's really hard not to give into this feeling.

"I don't want to date anyone else Ana but I know there's a chance that you will and I will do my best to behave but please be patient."

"It's kind of funny how in a weird way we are putting rules on our friendship. We aren't suppose to have expectations and it shouldn't be this complicated Christian." I can hear the sadness in her voice.

"It won't be Ana, we won't let it get complicated because we will be honest with each other and we are just going to go with the flow. If it does get complicated then we will deal with it then. Don't over think this. I know you have every right too and I don't blame you for having second thoughts. It's going to be hard Ana we both know I am going to fight for us even if it's just to be your friend." Ana puts her hand on my cheek while giving me a small smile.

"I'm not having second thoughts Christian, I just realized how we are focusing on what can go wrong."

"Then we shall smile and think positive." I say making her laugh.

"You can't use my words Christian." Ana use to tell me that when I was feeling down or pointing out all the bad things.

"Christian do you think everyone already left?" I look at my watch and see that everyone should have been gone by now.

"Are you staying at your parents or at your apartment?"

"I was going to back to my apartment but I think I better stay at my parents home instead." Ana tells me shrugging her shoulders. We walk out of the library to see our families sitting in the living room.

"Oh my sweet girl are you okay?" Elena says hugging Ana tight after checking her cheek.

"It looks worse than what it really is." Elena gives a don't lie to me look to Ana.

"Mom I'll be fine." Ana tells Elena as she yawns. It's not until now that I can see how tired she looks.

"Christian can I talk to you for a moment?" Ray asks and I follow him and my dad to the study, before I close the door Taylor and Sawyer walk in.

"Is my Annie in danger?" Ray asks.

"I wish I could say no but I honestly don't know. I was actually going to ask for you help to convince Ana to have security with her.

Taylor has always kept me safe and I know Sawyer will do the same to Ana." I see my dad and Ray exchange a look before Ray agrees.

"We'll talk to her tomorrow morning when we come by for breakfast." Ray tells me. We walk out to the living room where I find Elena, my mom, Mia sitting down.

"Where's Ana?" I ask.

"We just put her in your old room, she knocked out and mom asked us to go lay her down." Elliot tells me. Ray, Elena, Kate, Elliot and Ethan leave to the house while I stay since Ana's here. Mia tells us good night as she goes to her room leaving me alone with my parents.

"I am going to check on Ana and head up to bed. I love you Christian." My mom says kissing the top of my head.

"Mom how do you know who gave Jacqueline the information about me?"

"It wasn't that hard to figure out son there's only a few people who had access to your file and on two people who could keep her up to date about your behavior. They will pay dearly son. I never trusted Jacqueline so I wasn't going to go give her things she can use against any of us, I always just had a bad feeling about her, I just wish I..."

"Mom don't. There was really nothing you could do. Please believe me." I say hugging her as she wipes away the tears.

"Those people will not get away with invading your privacy. I know who they are because they were always so close to Jacqueline and from what we hear they run in the same group if you know what I mean." I nod and then she leaves the room after telling my dad not to take to long. I smile at the love they both still have for one another.

"Christian it's been a long night and I want you to know that I love you but what you did to Ana was pretty selfish son, there's no other explanation. You are my son and I love you and I'm sure you know how wrong you were. I hope that you have somehow made it up to Ana and have apologized. Not that it would do much but it would show that you do care. I also love Ana as a daughter and if you hurt her again you will deal with me. Christian if you still don't know what your intentions are with her then leave her alone. Let her live her life and find someone who will treasure her. Just like Ray, I would love to see you two get married and have a family but if that's not what you have planned then don't pursue her. Look you deserve to be happy just like Ana does and I want the best for both of you but I can't let you play with her heart Christian. Do I make myself clear?" My dad tells me and I understand where he's coming from and I respect him even more for it.

I know he's actually watching out for me and Ana and I love him for doing it. My dad tells me good night before we both go upstairs. I head to my old bedroom where Ana is at and I see her sleeping peacefully. I softly kiss her on the forehead and change into my pajamas.

"I love you so much Ana and I will make you my wife I don't care how long I have to wait. I'm so in love with you and will fight for you but I also know I have to give you some time because I've hurt you so much. You have no idea how happy I am that we are getting a fresh start." I whisper to her. I decide to sleep on the floor because I don't want to leave her alone tonight and I don't want to push it by sleeping on the bed with her.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23: Chapter 23**

 **A/N: Sorry for the long wait. Hope you enjoy!**

 **ANASTASIA**

I get up in the morning to my cheek feeling really sore. I don't even remember falling asleep last night or even coming up to Christian's old room. I'm about to get off the bed when I see Christian asleep on the floor. I can't help but smile at how peaceful he looks; I wonder if he still has his nightmares. I try to get off the bed as quietly as possible so I don't wake him up. I go into the bathroom to check the bruise on my cheek; there's no way make up is going to cover that up, it's really dark. The door to the restroom opens and Christian walks in with a worried look once he sees me he smiles.

"Does it hurt?"

"It's just sore but I'll be fine. How are you feeling? I'm sure the floor wasn't comfortable." Christian smiles at me and shrugs his shoulders.

"I use to sleep on the floor a lot at one point and someone would sneak out of bed to lay next to me to keep the nightmares away but I actually slept better than I had in some time. I still have my nightmares but last night I actually slept really good." I know Christian wants to say more but decides not to.

"I need to discuss something with you and I know you're probably aren't going to like it but it's necessary Ana." I give Christian a questioning look.

"It's for your safety Ana after yesterday we don't know what Jacqueline is capable of so we think it's best if you have someone to protect you just in case. Kind of like Taylor." I can't help but giggle at how Christian is preparing to argue with me on this but I can see he's really worried. Jacqueline must be bad. I roll my eyes thinking about the bruise she gave me.

"Okay."

"Ana it's very import...Did you just say okay? Did Jacqueline hit you that hard?" I punch Christian for that dumb comment but I can't help but laugh.

"I'm sorry that was awful of me to say." Christian tries to keep a straight face but my laughing makes him laugh.

"I know it will give you peace of mind and to be honest I wouldn't want to run into her when I'm alone not that I can't handle her but I don't want to play her games or risk her using me to get to you. I know she has it in for me and if you think she might try something then I won't fight you. I'm sure my dad already agreed to it."

We talk a little more and then head down stairs for breakfast. We all eat and talk no one really mentions the bruise other than Grace asking if I'm still in pain. I know Kate is pissed that she wasn't there to defend me. She's always been very protective of me. Mia and Ethan leave after we are done eating since they have plans with Ethan's parents. Elliot and Christian go talk outside while me and Kate got to the living room.

"I should have never left you alone Ana. I'm so sorry but when I see that bitch I'm going to trip her then step on her." I can't help but laugh.

"Kate if it wasn't tonight I'm sure she would have found a way to get me alone eventually. Babe your in love and I can't blame you for wanting to get some alone time with Elliot." Kate pulls me into a hug and tells me she loves me.

I let her know that I will be home later just as Elliot and Christian walk towards us. Once they leave Christian's parents and mine sit us in the living room.

"Christian I don't know the whole story but I know enough and to be honest I'm not sure I really want to know everything but from what your parents have explained to us we can see why Jacqueline acted like a jealous person and it explains why she went after our daughter. I've always trusted you with my Annie and the fact that you still want to protect her which I'm grateful for but I have to wonder what exactly it is that you are expecting to happen?" My dad asks and I feel Christian tense.

"Ray right now this is more of a precaution than anything else after last night I don't want to risk Jacqueline trying to get Ana alone for another confrontation or have her try to make Ana's life a living hell. I never wouldn't have expected something like this to happen but I can see that I never knew the real Jacqueline. I'm glad that I've realized it now" Christian says and I know that last part was more for himself.

My parents give him a small smile and I know they are worried but at this point there's nothing left to do.

"Christian we appreciate you looking out for Annie and we know this isn't your fault." Christian nods at my mom's words but I know he still feels a bit guilty.

I squeeze his hand as reassurance to let him know I don't blame him either. I get introduced to Sawyer who will be my CPO and he lets me know that I won't even notice he's there unless I need him. "Ana I already put Sawyers number into your phone.

If you need to change your plans or when you need to go somewhere you just give him a call and he will be there."

"Christian you just went into my phone without telling me." Our parents tell us they'll leave us alone and they quickly leave the room. Sawyer and Taylor follow behind them.

"I didn't go through your phone I just simply decided to put the number in there, it would be easier."

"You invaded my privacy Christian have you thought of asking first or letting me do it myself. What if I wouldn't have agreed to this." Christian is looking at me like I'm over reacting and maybe I am but he can't just go into my things.

"Ana I didn't mean anything by it. I was just thinking ahead and besides you didn't have much of a choice."

"I didn't have much of a choice what is that suppose to mean Christian?" We're both pretty upset and neither is backing down.

"Dammit Anastasia this is for your safety. If Sawyer would have been there last night I'm sure Jacqueline wouldn't have been able to lay a hand on you. Of course you have a choice because you are the most stubborn person I have ever met. All I meant is that your dad would have convinced you that it was a good idea." I know Christian is trying to sound as calm as possible.

"Next time you need to let me know before you decide to take matters into your own hands." I say walking out of the library with Christian right behind me.

"It's not that big of a deal Anastasia." Christian says behind me.

I walk to the kitchen where are parents are sitting and I can see them laughing. When they notice Christian and me they try to make straight faces but they can't hide their smiles. My mom hands me a tea which my dad would always do to comfort me. Christian gets a cup of coffee and sits down next to Grace while I sit next to Carrick.

"Ana I have a cream that will help the bruise fade a bit." Grace tells me trying to break the tension between me and Christian.

"Thank you Grace." I say with a smile. We all have a simple conversation and then I realize that I have to go over my schedule with Sawyer so we're on the same page.

"When will I go over my schedule with Sawyer?" I ask but notice Christian looks at my dad who clears his throat.

"Let me guess he already knows my schedule."

"Annie you were asleep last night so we talked it over and I let Sawyer know about your schedule and Kate filled him in on some of the extra things you do." My dad tells me.

"Ana this is why you just need to inform Sawyer of any changes so he's aware of where he's taking you. He's going to be available 24/7 all you need to do is call him. If he thinks something is off he will be close by and he will inform you. If you feel like something isn't right don't hesitate to tell him so he can check it out." Christian tells me not breaking eye contact.

"I see you all pretty much already figured it all out for me." I say trying to stay calm.

"Annie we are only doing what we think is best. We knew you were exhausted and the medication that Grace gave you just knocked you out. We didn't mean any harm we just figured it was for your safety." Carrick tells me and I just nod.

"Where is Sawyer going to be staying? Won't it be too much to have to drive to mine and Kate's apartment early in the morning for my morning runs then to go to work. Is he going to get any rest?" I ask and I can see my mom and Grace smirk while the men look at each other.

"He'll be sleeping in the SUV till we can find an apartment available in your building." Christian tells me.

"He's military Annie so he's use to little sleep just like Taylor and I." My dad tells me trying to make it easier for Christian.

"Keep in mind that Sawyer needs to be available 24/7 as a precaution till we can figure out how much of a threat Jacqueline really is." Carrick says also in his sons defense.

I look at them all and I know Christian is waiting for me to fight him on this.

"He can not sleep in the SUV, that is going to be uncomfortable. How is he suppose to get any real rest? Won't he need to change close or shower. How much of threat is Jacqueline? I'm sure she can't be that bad." Christian looks at me as to tell me not forget what kind of lifestyle she's in.

"I'm not taking any chances Ana." Christian says in a firm voice.

"Sawyers not sleeping in the SUV it's not fair. He can sleep inside the apartment that would be more comfortable besides our sofa turns into a bed." I say looking at Christian in the eyes. My dad and Carrick shake their heads.

"He's not sleeping inside your apartment Ana."

"Why not? Sawyer needs to be well rested in order for him to be prepared for anything. How would you like sleeping in a car Christian?" I don't even know why I'm arguing with Christian at this point.

I get what he is saying and it makes sense but I'm also mad for the way they've just made arrangements without me. I know I'm acting like a spoiled brat right now but it's frustrating and I'm also scared. I feel like there's something they aren't telling and I'm probably in more danger than they are leading on so part of me feels he should be inside the apartment just encase.

"Why can't you just agree to something so simple. It's not like he's going to be in there for more than a week? I'm working on getting him an apartment that's close to you. I'm hoping it's only a day or two. I wouldn't want Sawyer tired or uncomfortable either Ana. I like to take care of anyone who works for me. Your apartment is small there's not a lot of space. How do you know that Kate will be alright with it. I have another CPO available for when Sawyer needs to rest or go change." Christian is trying to study me but I'm not giving anything away.

I don't want to let them know how scared I feel but I also know that if I was in real danger they'd tell me or at least I hope they will. So what ever they suspect isn't solid so they don't want to worry me.

"Kate won't have a problem with it. Even if the apartment is small we'll manage. Sawyer will be more comfortable and he has access to the restroom and why would you inconvenience someone else especially if I haven't met anyone else. And don't tell me it's Taylor because he needs his rest too. I don't see the problem with Sawyer sleeping in the apartment it's not like he's going to be sleeping in my room Christian."

"Dammit Anastasia! Stop making this so complicated." Christian yells and I can see my dad and Carrick give him a look saying he needs to calm down but I also know they agree with him by the look on their eyes.

Elena squeezes my hand and I know she's trying to comfort me but also telling me to back down.

"I'm not making it complicated Christian! If Sawyer is going to be protecting me then he should just sleep inside the apartment. He'll be facing the door anyway which will be even better. What if someone goes inside the building hand he thinks that person lives there. How can he know for sure that I'm actually safe if he's outside in the car. Does Taylor sleep outside in the car while you are asleep inside on your bed?" I know I got them all there.

I can't believe I went that far because when it comes down to it Christian is going to find a way to take advantage of my words and use them against me.

"No he doesn't Ana. Taylor and all the CPO's along with Gail have their own quarters where they live which is connected to Escala. I have surveillance cameras and if I need anything they are there within seconds. You have a good point Sawyer should able to know if you in danger and he can't do that if he's in the car watching from a distance." I can't help but smile but then I see him smile, so I know I'm not going to like what he's about to say.

"Sawyer would be better rested if he's in his own bed and since Escala is a lot more safer it's best you stay with me." Christian says with a smug look.

"It makes more sense. Sawyer along with Taylor can be well rested because we have more security which means Sawyer can actually get a full night sleep, instead of sleeping with one eye open. That's what you wanted after all for Sawyer to rest." Christian knows he beat me at my own game. Before I can say anything my dad and Carrick agree with Christian and say it's a great idea.

I look at Grace and my mom for help but they just shrug their shoulders. Kate can't stay by herself, what if Jacqueline tries to go after Kate." I say hoping that will work.

"I'll put a CPO on her as well and since you'll be staying with me there will be more room in the apartment and he won't have to sleep in the car. I'm sure Elliot will have her stay with him a few times so it won't be a big deal. I love how caring and considerate you are. I don't know why I didn't think of all this before it would have saved us all this arguing." Christian tells me with a huge smile.

Cocky bastard. I roll my eyes and I try to find a way to get out of this but I can't think of anything to say.

"It's settled then. We will go pick up some of your belongings and you'll stay with me. Once we figure it all out then you will go back to you place." Christian tells me as he takes a zip of his coffee.

"We should eat since it's past lunch time and you need to take another pain medicine." Christian says and I hate that he knows I'm starting to hurt he must see it in my eyes. All this talking has made the pain come back.

"Lunch should be ready in less than five minutes dear but if you can't stand the pain let me know and I can find something to help for now.

"I'm fine Grace but thank you. I can wait till after I eat." I say.

Christian is super happy and I can't help but be mad. I can't believe I walked straight into that. I should have known better.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24: Chapter 24**

 **CHRISTIAN**

I know Ana is annoyed since I can't stop smiling. This worked out way better than I thought and I didn't have to try so hard even if I was pissed off at first. We all finish eating and I need to ask my mom about the people who helped Jacqueline, it's been bugging me since I found out.

"Mom who was it that helped Jacqueline?" I ask and my mom who gives me a smile.

"Like I said before there's only a few people that had access to your records dear. Your two psychiatrists which knew more than just what was on your file. We know they have a lot to lose so it wouldn't have been them. Which narrows it down to the people at school, which is the principle and I have my doubts about that but I'm looking into it anyway. Now Jacqueline said she knew people in the right places and that she was able to keep tabs on you. That made me figured it all out. I never spoke to Jacqueline or anyone about you Christian you need to know that. There were times where your father and I would talk to Elena and Ray about all of our kids just like they would talk to us about Ana." My mom says.

"Mom I know you and dad wouldn't talk bad about me. To be honest I never gave much thought to how she got information." I say holding my moms hand.

"Your teacher was in the meeting when we spoke to the schools counselor so I know he had access to your file as well. The thing about your teach is that he would often send you to the office and there were times where he'd ask me how you were doing at home. I would just say you were doing great. At first I found it odd but since he didn't ask to often I figured it was because he was just concerned. The school counselor had to keep track of your behavior which is the main source of it all. Your father already had a group of lawyers working on a case for invading you privacy since you were a minor I know we might not have much but they will loose their jobs and the chances of them getting a job somewhere else is very slim." My mom tells me with a smirk.

"Son your name will not be public, I made sure of it. This is going to scare them and since we know that they are in same lifestyle as Jacqueline we are going to use that against them as well. You need to know that we are also checking if there were any others that were taken advantage of." My dad tells me and I never thought of that. I nod to my dad with my best smile.

"Christian we are bringing them down. No one messes with my children and gets away with it. I'm so glad that you cut Jacqueline out of your life. I didn't know how close you all were and I'm sorr..." my mom starts to say.

"Mom I already told you it's not on you or dad I was very private and closed off. I'm the one who is sorry that I didn't come to you. I love you both very much." I say kissing the top of my mothers head.

"We love you too son and you don't have anything to apologize for either. We can't change what happened but we have learned from it and we are all doing what we can to fix it." My dad says with a reassuring smile.

Ana and I leave after having some dessert. We get into the SUV and Ana rolls her eyes at me and I can't help but laugh.

"We'll go to your apartment to get some of your things then we'll go to Escala. Gail already got one of the guest rooms ready." Ana looks up at me and I know she wants to say something but just says okay instead.

"What were you going to say Ana." Shit I just realized that she probably thinks I'm going to have her sleep in the subs room.

"Nothing it's not important." Ana gets out of the SUV as soon as we pull up to apartment.

I'm about to tell her to wait for Sawyer but he's already a few steps behind her. I have to remember that she's not use to this and I can't push her either, I'm just grateful that she agreed to have Sawyer with her. I walk into the apartment where Sawyer lets me know she's in her bedroom. The door is open but I ask Ana if I can come in which she barely whispers a yes.

"Ana the guest room you are staying in is not the same as where the sub missives would stay. I wouldn't do that to you." I say and I can see she looks a bit relieved.

"Thank you Christian."

"Is there anything you need help carrying out?" I ask.

"That bag is ready I'm just getting this one ready and I'll be all set. You said it should only be about a week or so right?" Ana asks me.

"If we see that she's not a threat then yes it should be about a week maybe two. Ana We have to see what her next move is." Ana nods in understanding.

"Christian can you leave so I can finish packing."

"I can help you pack it would be faster, then you can call Kate and let her know." I say with a smirk.

"Well these are personal items I'm packing so you can't help me." I give her a confused look as her phone rings and when she goes to grab it her bag falls and I see her panties and bras fall on the floor.

"Wow these are sexy." I say picking up a purple lace bra. Ana grabs it away from me and tells me to wait in the living room.

I can't help but laugh then it hits me that she wouldn't have sexy lingerie unless someone else gets to see it. Fuck! I try my best not to show that I'm upset but just thinking about it bothers me even if I have no right to be mad.

"Ready?" Ana says breaking me from my thoughts carrying two more bags which Sawyer grabs when he sees her.

We arrive at Escala and I give Ana the full tour this time and she's impressed. Ana being Ana asks to see where Taylor, Sawyer and Gail live which Gail is more than happy to show her. I let Ana settle into the guest bedroom while I go talk to Welch. I want to see if there's any updates on Jacqueline. After a few minutes I walk out to find Ana sitting on a bar stool talking to Gail and laughing.

"Mr. Grey dinner will be ready in ten minutes." Gail informs me. I sit next to Ana as Gail turns towards the stove.

"I didn't tell you earlier Christian but thank you for doing what you can to protect me." Ana tells me and I can't help but smile.

We stare at one another for a moment and I really want to lean over and kiss her. Gail clears her throat letting us dinner is ready. It didn't feel like ten minutes passed by. While we eat Ana asks me about GEH and how I got it started. I explain to her what Ross and I do and she seems really interested but then again when we were younger she would always pay attention to all the plans I had and would get super excited making me feel like I could conquer the world.

"Don't think about the past Christian despite what's happened you were able to accomplish everything you wanted."

Gail clears the dishes just as Ana's phone rings. I can hear Kate's voice yelling through the phone and I can't help but laugh. I signal to Ana that I'll be in the study if she needs me and I leave her to talk. I close the door to my study and grab the little helicopter from my shelf and look at it. I can't believe how stupid I was to let Ana go all those years. I don't think I will ever forgive myself for that.

"Christian?" Ana says walking into the study. I turn around to face her and she smiles when she notices the little helicopter.

"I didn't think you really kept it." Ana tells me.

"It was my motivation believe it or not." I say shrugging my shoulders as I put it back up on the shelf.

"Is Kate alright?" I ask changing the subject.

"Yeah I had left her a message and she wanted to know what was going on. Then she wanted to make sure we were still going to go shopping tomorrow."

"She can yell, I wouldn't want to be Elliot when she's mad." I say making us both laugh.

"I was wondering if I can watch some TV before I go to bed?" Ana asks.

"Ana you don't have to ask. I want you to feel at home so please feel free to use or do what you need without asking." Ana nods with a smile and skips out of the room with a smile. I decide to answer a few emails when Taylor walks in and by the look on his face this can't be good.

"Sir there's a car outside of Miss Steele's apartment. Ryan noticed it drive around a few times and then it finally parked. It seems like there's only one male driver no passengers. Miss Kavanagh isn't home I believe she is going to be spending the night with Elliot."

"Do we know who the car belongs to?" I ask but I'm sure I already know the answer.

"It's registered to Jacqueline sir. We don't want them aware that we are watching the apartment sir so we are just keeping an eye out to get an idea of what their intentions are."

"Thank you Taylor I will call Elliot to let him know what is going on."

Elliot and he answers on the first ring and he sounds out of breath. I explain to him what's going on and he tells me not to worry he was going to have Kate stay with him for the next few days which I'm glad. I go check on Ana and she has fallen asleep on the couch with the TV on and I can't help but take a picture of her looking so peaceful. I try to wake her but all she does is make a snoring sound which makes me laugh. I pick her up and she cuddles into my chest and once again I don't even flinch. I would love to have her sleep next to me but it's too soon but then again she didn't complain when I slept on the floor with her. I think about it for a moment and decide I better just take her to her room. I lay her on the bed and cover her. I look at the bruise that Jacqueline made her and I get pissed. I kiss Ana's forehead and slowly walk out of the room when I hear her whisper my name I turn around but she's still asleep. I lay in my bed hoping to get some sleep tonight. As much as I'm happy that Ana is here with me I wish it was under different circumstances. I know Sawyer and Taylor believe that Jacqueline wants to hurt Ana. They informed me that Jacqueline said she would make Ana pay and that she would get rid of her one way or another. I know what Jacqueline is capable of by the way she use to punish me so I don't take what she said lightly. I know Ana is scared I can see it in her eyes and I know she's trying her best to act like if she's not worried. I decide to take a shower since I can't fall asleep.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25: Chapter 25**

 **CHRISTIAN**

I'm on my way home after a long days of meetings. I actually enjoying going home knowing that Ana is there and that we get to eat dinner together. I know it's a bit silly but fuck my evenings this week have been great. Ana and I have been doing great, she's actually feeling more at home and I hate thinking that she's going to be going home soon. I'm hoping to find a way to have her stay with me longer. I know that if we spend more time together like this we won't be able to fight our feelings much longer. Ana and I fell asleep in the living room one night watching a moving and I slept so peacefully. Ana had put a bunch of pillows on the floor and sat down then she told me to join her and before we knew it we were being woken up by Taylor who tried to hide his smile. I walk into the penthouse and hear laughing, I follow the sound till I reach the living room to find Mia, Kate and Ana who gives me a hug which is something she's been doing when I come in.

"Christian you're home early?" Mia says like she knows what time I get out.

"This is the time he usually gets here unless he's working late which was only once this week." Ana says like it's nothing. I notice Kate looking at Ana with a huge smirk.

"We tried to kidnap our best friend here for dinner but she said it'd be better if we join you all instead. Ethan and Elliot should be here any minute." Kate says testing my reaction. I smile and hold Ana tight to me making Kate raise a questioning eye brow which makes me laugh.

"As long as I get to eat with Ana I guess I can put up with all of you." I say making them laugh.

"Gee thanks." Mia says.

I go to the room to change and I hear Kate ask Ana if anything has happened between the two of us. When I come back out I see that Elliot and Ethan are already here. Gail lets us know that dinner is served and we all walk to the dinning room. We are all talking and laughing having a good time, it feels so good to do this. We move to the living room once we are done and continue talking.

"So when do I get my room mate back?" Kate asks and I tense up.

"Not any time soon." I say trying to keep the mood light.

I see Ana smile and nod her head as Kate nudges Mia on the side. The rest of the evening goes by rather quickly, eventually every one goes home leaving Ana and myself alone finally.

 **ANASTASIA**

I sit on the couch and Christian sits next to me. "Why was Mia so surprised that you were home when you got here?"

Christian turns to look at me and sighs before he starts talking. "I'm usually working really late, at times it's because I do have a lot of work and other times it was just because I preferred to be at work than to come here."

I can hear the sadness in his voice. I smile thinking that he's been coming home early because I've been here. I've been having so much fun this week with Christian. We've been getting to know each other again and none of us have really changed. I know our feelings for each other are getting stronger and that scares me. For a moment during dinner I imagined me and Christian were actually together which is silly but I couldn't help it. Kate kept asking me if I was sure nothing has happened between me and Christian because we seem so natural together. Mia started laughing when she said she could feel the sexual tension. I told them to stop because Christian and I are good friends. They of course didn't believe me but luckily Ethan and Elliot showed up not that it did much because Kate gave me a I'm not dropping this look. I know she kept studying me and Christian the whole night which made me laugh.

"Ana" I turn to look at Christian who is studying me. "I lost you for a moment there."

"I'm sorry I was just thinking how fast this week went by." Christian is about to say something when Taylor walks in with a serious look.

Christian lets me know that he is going to talk to Taylor in the office and will be back shortly. I decide to go take a shower. I put on some pajamas and head back to the kitchen to make myself a tea. I notice Christian walk out of the study and gives me a soft smile when he sees me in the kitchen.

"Is everything alright?" I ask.

"Yes. Taylor just informed me that Jacqueline tried to come up to the penthouse but she was escorted out right away." Christian looks at me but I don't say anything just nod.

"Ana you are safe here, she won't come near you. I think you should stay here longer to be on the safe side. Taylor told me she seems desperate so we still don't know what she is planning to do."

"I know I'm safe Christian but I shouldn't have to be hiding out. She just slapped me and we are acting like she did something worse, and I hate it. I enjoy being here with you but I know you have your own life to get back to. I don't want to keep being a burden. I have my own apartment, plus Kate who is my room mate and I know you will allow her to come visit me but I'm sure you'll eventually get tired of us."

"First of all I will never get tired of you. As for Kate I can't really say." We both start laughing. "Ana you are always welcomed here and there is no way you are a burden to me. I don't have anything to get back to because all I ever did was work all the time and you already know what I did on the weekends which is something I will not be doing again. You are not hiding out because you are still going to work and are able to go anywhere you want even if I do prefer for you to stay inside but you have Sawyer with you. I'd rather over react than regret not being able to do more if something did happen to you but that won't happen. I don't think she slapped you by the bruise you had. If she did we are all pretty sure she used something to hit you with."

Christian grabs my hand and walks me to the sofa.

"I don't want you to change because of me Christian. Don't get me wrong it's good to see you be more relaxed and act your age. It's like you are enjoying life again but I don't want you to pretend or change because you want to impress me or anyone else." I squeeze Christian's hand hoping he doesn't take it the wrong way.

"Ana I'm doing this for me. I'm finding myself again, you know better than anyone that this is the real me. I'm not pretending or trying to impress anyone. I feel happy and I am enjoy life, it might sound weird but I feel free. When I started doing that shit with Jacqueline, I always felt trapped. Now I know that it wasn't the real me and that's where I had to pretend in order to please Jacqueline. I was doing it because I thought if I got control myself it would impress you and my parents. It's stupid how at the end of it all I was never myself with Jacqueline, I couldn't be. I became what she wanted me to be cold and distant. It did start off as wanting to do it for you but then after Flynn made me hash it all out I realized that I needed to do it for me. It wasn't going to work unless I really wanted this so believe me baby I'm not pretending and I'm doing this because it's what I want even if you and we don't end up together which I won't give up easily." Christian says winking at me.

"Ana I don't want you to feel pressured either. I need you to be you even if your a pain in the ass sometimes." I start laughing and Christian gives me a huge smile.

"I don't feel pressured Christian, and I ain't holding back trust me. I just wanted to make sure that you are happy and that you do this for the right reasons." I tell him.

"Ana I was thinking maybe we could go to the Mile High club for dinner."

"Yes! That will be fun." I say giggling and Christian laughs.

"You would think I have you starving." Christian tells me.

"I think I'm over fed here with Gail's delicious food." I say.

"How was you day today? Were you able to close that deal after all?" I ask.

"It was full of meetings today non stop but over all it was a good day. I didn't have any problems now that I think about it. As for the deal we did close on it and I actually saved some money. They were disrespecting Ross. They would cut her off when she was talking or they wouldn't really let her talk, I of course addressed it the first time and told them we would not put up with that kind of behavior. They stopped but then they started again so of course Ross being Ross told them that she was pulling back on the deal and she hung up on them. Originally I would have been pissed but for some reason I started laughing. They called back right away but both Ross and I refused to take their call. Towards the end of the day we finally decided to take the call and I told them the deal was off the table and I gave them a new figure which was almost half of what we had originally agreed to. I told them it was our final offer so they can take it or find someone else." I love the way Christian lights up when he talks about his business.

"Weren't you worried that they would refuse your offer?" I ask.

"There was a small chance of that happening but we also knew that we were the best offer they had. They were about to argue about it but I told them I don't have time for bullshit so I was going to hang up but they agreed, not happily but they agreed. I had Andrea email the contract so they can sign it so we can start working on all the paper work."

"Wow but that's what they get for being mean to Ross. I'm glad it all worked out in your favor." I say.

"How about you Ana? How has everything been coming along? I know Elliot made you his personal assistant along with being his accountant."

"Elliot is something else but he's been a great boss. I know it's a little overwhelming for him at times. Having to run both Grey Construction and my dad's business so I don't mind helping him if it makes things easier. I'm actually liking it, I was nervous at first but I really enjoy it. My dad's secretary is helping me out which helps. I know Elliot is going to move us over to Grey Construction so it will be easier which we don't mind since his building is bigger and nicer. You know Elliot he likes being out in the field so the fact that he trusts me enough to give me big responsibilities makes me feel happy and confident. It's weird...I don't know how to explain it. I know my dad wanted me to take over but I didn't feel I was ready and I still don't but I guess because I know Elliot is really in charge I feel like I can handle the pressure better it's not all on my shoulders. I know that's probably bad and maybe doesn't make sense. I guess I really do enjoy all the work Elliot is throwing my way. It's like we're partners in a way, that's how he treats me but I still look at him as the boss." I say giggling.

"It makes perfect since. I understand what you mean. Do you ever wish you could have gone to publishing like you had dreamed of doing?" Christian asks me.

"Actually no which is surprising. I had thought about it but you know as strange as it is for me I really love how my career has turned out."

We talk some more and joke around. It feels really good to do this with Christian. We eventually go to bed and part of me wants to sleep next to Christian. We say good night and head to our rooms.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26: Chapter 26**

 **CHRISTIAN**

I wake up from another nightmare. I know I won't be able to go back to sleep so I go out to the living room, usually I would play the piano but I don't want to wake Ana up.

"Couldn't sleep?"

"Holy shit! What the fuck Ana? You scared me." I yell not expecting her to be up.

"I'm...sorry." Ana says between laughs.

"I didn't meant to scare you. I've never seen you jump up like that."

"What are you doing in the dark?" I say with a smirk because her laugh is contagious.

"I heard you having a night mare and I figured you'd eventually come out of your room so I decided to cut you a piece of chocolate cake. I remember how much it would relax you." Ana shrugs her shoulders as she moves the plate towards me.

When Ana found out I had night mares, I had told her that chocolate cake would make me feel better but it was so I could spend more time with her. Eventually we started falling asleep in the same room and she would keep the nightmares away.

"I can't believe you remembered." I say as she gives me a big smile. "Did you cut this in the dark?" I ask curiously.

"Relax grumpy I used the light from the fridge I didn't want to wake anyone else up just in case." Ana tells me with a giggle.

"Thank you Ana."

We go the living room for a bit and talk. I don't know how or when we fell asleep but I could barely hear my phone ringing. I feel Ana cuddled up next to me and my hand is over her waist hugging her tight. I do my best to move slowly when she starts to wake up.

"Good morning." Ana smiles up at me and then her eyes open wide.

"Oh my God Christian what time is it? I'm going to be late for work." I can't help but laugh at how fast she gets up.

"I'll call Elliot I'm sure he'll be fine with it." I tell Ana who is about to say something but Taylor walks in.

"Miss Steele, Mr. Grey is aware that you are running late I called him this morning. I didn't know how to wake either of you up. I do apologize." Taylor says trying to keep his smile in.

"Thank you Taylor." Ana excuses herself to get ready.

"Ross and Andrea are aware of you arriving late as well." Taylor says now smiling.

"Thank you Taylor.

What time is it?"

"It's 8am sir." Taylor walks to the security room and I go get ready. I check my phone and see that Elliot is the one who was calling so early.

"Hi lil bro stop being a bad influence on my assistant. Take care of business at night." Elliot says laughing.

"Shut up Elliot we over slept." I can hear him still laughing.

"You never over sleep." Elliot mumbles more to himself than to me.

"Did you need something Elliot?" I say getting annoyed.

"I was actually looking for Ana to let her know I was running late but she didn't answer which isn't normal so I decided to call you but you didn't answer either so then I called Taylor who told me Ana would be late. Any who I called our secretary to let her know that Ana and I would be late this morning." I roll my eyes at the big story Elliot just told me.

"I take it you weren't late for over sleeping." I tell him.

"I had a morning wake up from Kate which lead to an awesome shower. I didn't realize how great it would be to have Kate staying with me. I'm actually thinking of just asking her to move in with me." Elliot tells me in a serious tone.

"Am I speaking to Elliot Grey my brother who will never settle down when there's so much pussy out there." I say laughing.

"Fuck you Christian."

"Now who's the sensitive one." I say laughing.

"Fine I deserve that for always giving you shit." Elliot tells me with a chuckle.

"I'm happy for you Elliot. If Kate makes you happy then go for it. I'm glad you found someone that you would want a serious relationship with. Don't fuck it up." I say.

"Christian you'll have this with Ana. Don't give up it's going to take time but you'll get there." Elliot tells me.

"Thanks Elliot." I tell him. We both stay quiet for a while.

"Elliot?"

"Yeah?" Elliot response.

"Don't loose your balls." I say laughing to lighten the mood and I can hear him tell me to fuck off but I hang up.

I walk to the kitchen where Gail has a bagel ready for me and Ana along with my coffee and her tea. We drop off Sawyer and Ana before heading over to GEH. The day goes by quickly which I'm grateful for. Ross gives me shit about being late but I know she's just happy about being able to get on my case about something for once. I don't have any meetings so I am able to leave a little early so I can be at Grey Construction by five when Ana gets out.

"You're on time." Ana tells me surprised to see me there.

"I didn't want to make you wait so I finished a little early. If your not done I can wait there's no rush." I say.

"I'm all done." Ana says grabbing her purse. We arrive at the Mile High Club and are seated right away.

"I can't believe we fell asleep. I don't even remember falling asleep." Ana tells me as the waiter brings us our drinks.

"Neither do I, but I can tell you I slept really well." Ana gives me a big smile and reaches for my hand which I grab. She then realizes what she did and tries to pull her hand back but I hold it tight.

"Your not leading me on." I say winking at her making her giggle.

We order an appetizer and continue to talk and laugh.

"Oh my God Christian. No wonder people are so scared of you." I shrug my shoulders as we both laugh.

"It's their own fault. You can't come to a meeting unprepared, especially to my company. I'm not known as a ruthless business man for no reason. I just told them the truth and I let them know that they wasted my time."

"But I'm sure you could have done it in a nicer way." Ana tells me taking a sip of her wine.

"Maybe but they did learn for next time." We continue talking and we make plans for the weekend. The waiter comes to take our order since we have only gotten the appetizer and drinks.

"Christian!" Someone yells my name and both Ana and I look to find Jules coming towards. Ana smiles at her as Jules comes towards me to try and hug me but I stay sitting down and just shake her hand instead.

"How are you? You know I've called your office a few times but you have yet to call me back." Jules tells me. I look at Ana who raises an eyebrow at me.

"I've been really busy but I've gotten your messages. You remember Ana." I say as Jules turns around to greet her.

"I was waiting for Hunter when I noticed you and thought I'd say hello. You don't mind if we join you do you, since you do have two extra empty seats?" Jules ask and before I can say anything Hunter approaches the table and he does not look happy that I'm talking to Jules.

"What's going on here?" Hunter asks.

"Christian and Ana were having dinner and since they have to empty seats we are going to be joining them." Ana is laughing knowing I am pissed.

I stand up and tell Jules to take my seat, I can see the huge smile on her face which disappears quickly when I go sit next to Ana. Hunter eyes me suspiciously then sits next to Jules. I'm not after his sister even if she is brunette, I'm just not attracted to her the way I am to Ana. Hunter should know that she's the one who's been calling my office.

"Hello Ana, it's a pleasure to see you again. Please excuse me for being rude earlier." Hunter says shaking Ana's hand which she pulls away fast and I can't help but smile.

The waiter brings over two more menus. Thankfully the conversation is flowing easily. I just want to get out of here. Ana and I were having such a good time and connecting. We're about finished with our food and I couldn't be happier. Jules excuses herself to go to the bathroom. An old friend of Ana's comes by to say hi to her and they talk for a while. I know Hunter wants to tell me something and leans over now that Ana is distracted.

"Stay away from her Christian, that's my little sister." Hunter whispers.

"I'm not interested Hunter, you have nothing to worry about." I say and he nods but I know he still has his doubts. Ana sits back down just as Jules returns with a huge smile.

"You know Christian we should go out for some drinks or dancing after wards." Ana is smirking at me but before I can say anything Hunter beats me to it.

"I'm sure Christian has something important to attend." Normally I would have agreed to the drinks just to piss Hunter off but I'm not going to risk losing Ana for anyone or anything especially over Hunter and Jules.

"Hunter you promised you weren't going to go all dad on me." Jules says reminding me of Mia.

"You're brother is right Jules I have to take care of something important and I have to make sure Ana gets home safely."

Jules looks a bit confused but smiles anyway.

"Well then maybe we can make plans to have dinner." Jules insist.

"We're already having dinner." Ana says with a giggle and Jules rolls her eyes.

We ask for the check and I tell Hunter that I got it. They finally leave which I couldn't be more thankful for.

"She's very insistent." Ana says laughing as we get into the SUV.

"You find it funny Ms. Steele?"

"Oh no Mr. Grey I find it hilarious." Ana's laugh is contagious and I can see Taylor and Sawyer smiling.

"Hurry up and get you ass in the car Miss Steele." I say.

"And if I don't." Ana raises her brow in a challenging manner.

"Do you want to test me." I say in a firm voice not backing down from her challenge. I can see she's thinking and right now I just want to kiss her.

"You're very lucky I have heels on."

"Taylor do you mind stopping so we can get some ice cream please?" Ana asks as we drive off.

"Of course Miss Steele." I look at Ana who gives me a big smile.

"It's not my fault you were in a hurry to leave and I'm not going to have Gail make a dessert this late." Taylor and Sawyer laugh and I just roll my eyes.

"You know someone once told me it was rude to roll your eyes." Ana says sticking her tongue out at me.

"I guess bad habits are easily picked up." I say with a smirk.

We all get one since Ana insisted that Sawyer and Taylor get one too. We finally get to Escala with Ana laughing because I dropped the last piece of my ice cream cone as we got out of the SUV.

"How the hell do you still have your ice cream? I swear you eat too slow." I say.

"You are just jealous that I still have mine and you dropped yours." Ana says taking a bite of her cone with a huge smile.

I take a step towards Ana who doesn't break eye contact and continues to smile and eat her ice cream. I try to grab the ice cream from her but she moves it away making her laugh loud. I have her trapped between my arms and the counter so she can't move.

"Christian you are going to make me drop it." Ana says trying not to laugh.

"Like you made me drop mine." I slowly drop my hands to the side as Ana slowly lets her guard down but she still eyes me suspiciously.

I take a step back. Ana relaxes and takes a bite of her ice cream. I grab her causing her to smash the ice cream on her chin.

"I can't believe you did that." Ana says at how cold it is.

"I didn't think..." I start to say as Ana smudges the rest of the ice cream on me. We are both laughing and I can't help but kiss her. It's soft and passionate. We both break away and I am going to apologize but Ana tells me that we both got caught in the moment. We go to clean ourselves up and decide to watch a movie. I thought she might feel uncomfortable but kept laughing and talking through out the movie. This evening turned out to be better than I expected.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27: Chapter 27**

 **ANASTASIA**

I can't stop smiling after the kiss Christian and I shared. It's been a few weeks but it's still feels like it happened yesterday. It felt so natural and I got so lost in the moment, the whole evening was great. I was scared that things would have been weird between us after but if anything it's been more relaxed between us. We've been falling asleep in the living room every night, which is pretty stupid but I don't want to ruin what we have going right now and it seems like the living room is neutral ground.

"Earth to Ana, come in Ana." Kate is waving her hand in front of my face with a huge smirk. "So my dear friend why don't you tell me why you have that stupid smile on your face." Kate wiggles her eyebrows making me laugh.

"Life has been great Kate and I just feel like smiling."

"You Ana are full of shit because you are not just smiling, it's hard to explain but you are not just smiling." We both start laughing.

"I'll tell you over lunch because I'm starving." We get to the little bistro down the street. I tell Kate about dinner and everything that happened after wards, and she has a huge smile.

"Oh my gosh, finally you are taking a risk." Kate says and I smile at her.

"He's really trying Kate, and he's been so great and patient with me and we both know Christian is not a patient person. It's not that I owe it to him but I can see how sincere he is and he's doing all this because he wants to not because he's trying to make it up to me. At first I thought he was just doing it out of guilt but it's not that at all."

"I'm happy for you Ana, you deserve to be happy and I am behind you all the way no matter what you do but if he hurts you again which I'm sure he won't because it seems he knows what he lost the first time BUT in case he is stupid I will hurt him." Kate tells me making me laugh.

We continue eating and Kate tells me to go at my pace, not to rush into anything until I feel really sure. I'm more surprised when she tells me that she's glad Christian and I are friends again and getting to know each other again.

"When are you coming back home? I think Christian is keeping you on purpose he doesn't want to let you go." Kate wiggles her eyebrows making me laugh.

"I don't know we haven't really heard anything from Jacqueline other than her trying to go up to Escala. There's also those few times they saw her outside our apartment. And for the record I don't think Christian is keeping me on purpose."

"Babe come on, think about it. You guys are getting closer now that you spend every waking hour with him. I don't blame him but he's pretty smart to take advantage of this to win you over. It's something I would do." I think about what Kate just said and it makes me smile but at the same time I feel confused. Kate tells me more about her and Elliot and the way she blushes just thinking of him makes me laugh.

"Tell me about Hunter I know you two have had a few lunch dates and no Elliot didn't tell me. I've called the office and they tell me you are out to lunch with Mr. Hunter" I roll my eyes at the way Kate wiggles her eye brows.

"How can you tell me you're happy about me and Christian getting closer then question me about Hunter. For the record they aren't lunch dates, it's more work related."

"If you say so my dear but he wants you. I get that he want's weekly updates but I think he's doing it on purpose." Kate tells me.

"Elliot doesn't always have time for it and he's apologized for putting me in that spot. Christian feels the same way and we've even argued about it. At the end he told me to watch out for Hunter whatever that means, besides Elliot has made it to a most of those lunches and I've only had to go when he's not available Kate."

"That might be so but he does want you babe."

"You sound just like Christian." Kate pretends to be offended but then she tells me that she knew he was a little smart to be thinking like her.

We pay the bill and go back to my office. I walk with Kate to her car since we are still talking and making plans to have a girls night since we don't know when I'll be coming back to the apartment. Sawyer and I walk back to Grey Construction after grabbing some lunch and I notice that he keeps glancing at the shame direction. I decide not to question it, I know that if it was something important he would tell me. When I reach my office I see Elliot sitting on my desk looking at some papers.

"It's nice to know you let yourself in. You must be related to Christian." Elliot smiles.

"I'll have you know that I knocked a few times and since I needed to get this to you right away I decided I'd leave it on your desk but then Kate told me you guys had already finished up lunch so I decided to wait for you. Actually you should be thanking me for saving you the trouble of having to call just to go over the details and what I need." Elliot is so proud of himself I can't help but laugh and roll my eyes.

Elliot tells me about this new contract and the changes that need to be made because of the material they want us to use. Once he leaves I start finishing up the rest of my work. Kate asks me to meet her at Canlis for dinner. I let Christian know that I'm having dinner with Kate which he tells me to be safe and keep Sawyer close. I found it a little strange but decided maybe I'm being paranoid. I let Sawyer know I'm ready to leave and he is walking by my side, I notice Ryan is by the SUV. I look up at Sawyer who tells me that there are paparazzi at Canlis and Ryan is just here as back up, which makes me feel like I can relax.

I walk inside the restaurant to see Kate waiting for me in the front. The hostess shows us to our table which is next to the bar where I notice Christian with a few men, I can't help but smile seeing him in business mode.

"You should go say hi to him." Kate tells me.

"He's busy right now, I don't want to interrupt, this is me and you time." I say opening my eyes wide making her laugh.

"Fine." We decide to have a girls weekend.

"Kate there can't be shopping and no going to the spa." She almost spits out her drink making me laugh. I tell her I was just messing with her and she reaches over to hit me on the arm. I turn to see Jules walking towards Christian. Kate looks in the same direction.

"That girl is so desperate." I can see Christian has his fake smile and I'm guessing it's all for show because of those business men he's with. I see one of the men tell Jules something and she smiles bigger then sits down.

"Babe you know that had nothing to do with Christian right?" I smile at her and she just laughs.

"Kate you are actually rooting for Christian." I can't help but smile.

"No you dork, but he makes you happy and that's all that matters. You started opening up again and taking a risk but trust me if he hurts you I will kill him." Kate tells me as I grab her hand.

"If I'm honest I was all for Hunter but I can see there's no chemistry there so Christian it is." I shake my head as she starts laughing.

We finally decide to head home, Kate tells me she's going to go over to Elliot's place. I arrive at Escala and decide to take a shower and change into my pajamas. I walk down stairs and think about Jules being in Christian's meeting.

"Are you waiting up for me?" Christian asks breaking my train of thought as he walks towards me.

"I needed my sleeping partner." I start laughing as Christian sits next to me.

"How as dinner with Kate?"

"It was good. We are having a girls weekend next week." Christian is quiet and it's like he's thinking about something.

"Do you girls plan on going out somewhere?"

"Just shopping then to the spa, other than that I believe we'll be at the apartment the rest of the weekend. Kate mentioned maybe going away to a spa retreat that her mom goes to. Mia will be going with us as well."

"Just let me know what the plans are so I can update Sawyer." Christian tells me, I nod in agreement which makes him smile.

"How did your meeting go?" I ask.

"It went great actually. I'm glad it didn't have to be hostile take over, we all came to a good agreement." Christian tells me.

"I know you hate those hostile take overs." I say with a smile.

"Sometimes I feel bad but when the guys are assholes it just motivates me. I know that makes me a jerk but I don't care. I'm not known as a ruthless businessman for nothing." Christian says in a cocky tone making me laugh.

"You are not a jerk and people don't realize that at the end you are actually saving peoples jobs and giving others an opportunity to work." Christian gives me a smile and I lean my head on his shoulder.

"Always seeing the positive side my sweet Ana."

"Well you don't make it easy but your a good guy. I think? Maybe?" I say making him laugh as he tickles me.

"You Anastasia are something else. Ana there's something I need to tell you, it's probably nothing but it's better that you know so you can keep Sawyer close by." I nod to let him know he can continue.

"Sawyer saw someone who looked like Jacqueline today as you guys walked backed to the office. He couldn't confirm if it was her or not but he's almost 100% sure it was. I don't want you to worry but it's better that you know that way you can have your guard up."

"Thank you for telling me, it means a lot." I say kissing him on the cheek.

"I should tell you things more often if it's going to get me a kiss." Christian says wiggling his eyebrows.

"Ana?" Christian says.

"Yeah?"

"Aren't you going to ask me about Jules being at my meeting?" I look at him confused.

"I was going to tell you anyway but I thought maybe you'd bring it up. I could hear you laughing from where I was sitting at so that's how I knew you were at the restaurant. I think that's what got me through that meeting tonight is your hyena laugh." Christian says laughing.

"You are so rude Mr. Grey."

"I didn't think there was anything to ask. I believe that you would tell me if you needed to." I say with a sad smile.

"I don't want any misunderstandings between us. Jules came to say hi which I wish she hadn't, its not like we're friends but that girl just doesn't give up. Anyway one of the men invited her to join us and of course she accepted. You need to know that after everyone left she asked if she can talk to me, I of course told her I needed to get home but she said it would only take a minute. Against my better judgment I decided to hear her out." Christian tells me and I look up at him.

"Jules asked me to go home with her and she guaranteed we'd be great in bed together. I was so pissed, I got up and told her she should respect herself and to stop wasting my time because I wasn't interested. I walked away before she could respond but I'm sure I pissed her off."

"Oh" Is all I can say then I lean back on his shoulder.

"Ana you need to know that I'm not interested in her at all. Not even at the Coping together, I know I acted stupid by talking to her just to piss Hunter off but at the end I just ended up hurting you. Tonight it had nothing to do with that, I don't want anything to do with her." Christian says and I know he's telling me the truth.

"I believe you and I'm glad you made it clear where you stand." I say with a giggle.

We talk more about our days before we go to sleep.


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28: Chapter 28**

 **ANASTASIA**

Time is going to fast. Christian talked about me going back to the apartment, he thinks I should wait till we know for certain that Jacqueline won't do anything. He's had his lawyers do the paper work for the salons, he decided to sell his portion of them which is going to piss her off. I don't really staying mind staying longer, things have been great between Christian and I. I do miss having my own place and spending time with Kate. We had planned a girls weekend but we were unable to do that because something always came up. I look at the time and I call Christian to let him know I'll be home late tonight. I can't help but smile as I think about how close Christian and I have become.

Sawyer and I are finally on our way back to Escala. I think more about how Christian and I act like we've been together forever even though we are just friends. I know the lines are being crossed but I'm not complaining it all feels so right. I'm still scared but I know I have to get over it. We tell each other when we are running late which is pretty funny because we tend to wait for one another to get home before we eat dinner. The feelings I've always had for Christian are still there and are getting stronger. I tried to stay guarded but it's been hard especially since we've been spending so much time together. Even when we've had arguments, I feel the connection between us growing. I can't help but wonder if we would have gotten married, or maybe planning our wedding. It's not till Sawyer asks if I'm alright do I feel the tears on my cheeks.

I nod a yes and give him my best smile. I do my best to wipe away the tears so hopefully Christian doesn't notice I was crying over something so silly. We walk into the penthouse and Sawyer goes straight to the security room. I look around and see that the lights are dim. Christian comes towards me with two wine glasses and gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"Hi."

"Hi. I thought we'd have dinner in the terrace since it's a nice night." I can't help to smile at Christian's suggestion.

"That's a great idea Christian." He grabs my hand and we walk out to the terrace and see that it's a candlelit dinner.

"Happy birthday Anastasia." Christian whispers in my ear.

I try to hold back the tears and I don't know why I'm so emotional today, I've celebrated my birthday before and haven't felt like this.

"Baby what's wrong?" Christian asks wiping away my tears.

"It's nothing...this is so sweet of you. Thank you." I say giving him a soft kiss on the lips.

"I'm just being silly Christian." He eyes me suspiciously.

"You eyes were watery earlier, when you walked in Ana."

"It's nothing really, I'm just emotional." Christian looks at me and I know he wants to say something but nods instead.

We start to eat and talk about random things and we've been laughing. Christian has looked at his watch a few times and I wonder if he has something important to do.

"Christian is there somewhere you have to be?" He looks up at me confused like he doesn't know what I'm talking about. "You keep looking at your watch." Before he can say anything his phone buzzes.

"Ana I'll be right back."

"I'm just going to head to bed, I'm a little tired." I say trying hard to keep the tears in. Why am I so sensitive today? It's getting on my nerves.

"NO! Don't go anywhere. I mean stay please, it will only take a second." Christian goes inside without letting me say anything. I'm about to go inside but the door is locked. I can't believe he locked me out. I decide to sit back down and enjoy the view since I don't have much of a choice right now. Christian rushes back out to me but I don't bother to look at him, he calls out my name but I still don't bother to turn to look at him.

"I'm sorry, I just….will you come inside with me? I really need to talk to you about something." I turn to look at him and I wonder what he could possibly tell me at this point. Does it have to do with whoever contacted him on the phone earlier. I get up and I'm about to open the door but he grabs my hand and lifts my head so I can look at him.

"Whatever is bothering you we will talk about it later." Christian says in a firm voice, letting me know he isn't going to drop it.

I'm about to protest when he pulls me inside. Kate, Mia, Elliot, Ethan, Grace, Carrick, and my parents are inside and they start singing happy birthday. Kate is holding the cake and walks towards me.

"Make a wish babe." Kate tells me. I close my eyes and blow out the candles.

Gail cuts the cake while my mom helps her pass it out. I tell Gail to take the rest for her the security team. I open my gifts and thank everyone. Christian gave me a small white gold bracelet with a small lotus flower on it. Everyone leaves since it's getting late and I thank them again for the surprise. I walk to the kitchen to clean it up but it seems Gail has already beaten me to it. I try to think of something else that I can do so that I don't have to talk to Christian about what's bothering because it's really stupid.

"Ana." I turn to look at Christian who pulls me towards him and hugs me tight and kisses the top of my head.

"Thank you for tonight Christian, it means a lot to me and I really loved the bracelet. Especially the flower on it." Christian gives me a smile as we sit on the couch.

"You are my lotus flower." Christian tells me as he wipes the tears away. "Ana what's wrong? Talk to me."

"Can you just hold me while we watch a movie." Christian just looks at me and I know he's not going to budge.

"I'll hold you while you tell me what's going on then we'll watch a movie. Ana you can tell me anything."

"I'm the birthday girl which means you have to do as I say." I start laughing because Christian wants to argue with me but he has nothing to say.

"You don't play fair." Christian pouts making me laugh more.

"First we need to change into something more comfortable." We both go change, I walk back to the kitchen and start making popcorn since Christian isn't out yet. I wonder what's taking him so long. I put the popcorn in front of the TV while I go back for the drinks. I see Taylor, Sawyer and Christian all walk out of the study and they don't look to happy.

"Happy birthday Miss Steele." Taylor tells me and I thank him. Sawyer had wished me a happy birthday this morning as well. Which caught me off guard but he told me that when he was told he was going to be my CPO he had to get all the information he could about me.

"Is everything alright?" I ask Christian who tells me it's nothing to worry about.

"Christian." He turns to give me a kiss on the cheek and smirks at me.

"I have a date tonight that I will not turn down. I get to hold a beautiful lady while I watch a movie." Christian tells me as he walks away.

"That's different." I say trying to argue with him.

"Maybe." Christian says laughing.

"Fine." I say grabbing the popcorn from the floor and I play the movie. I can hear Christian laughing and he finally sits next to me. He nudges me and then pulls me towards him. The movie finishes and I take the bowl and cups to the kitchen.

"I'm in the mood for some ice cream." Christian tells me.

"That actually sounds good." I tell him. Christian says he'll get the bowls while I get the ice cream. I open the freezer and can't believe what I'm seeing. Once again I have tears running down my cheek as I read the little note on top of the ice cream that says please be my girlfriend. I feel Christian wrap his arms around me and hold me tight.

"Ana I know this might be too soon and if your not ready I completely understand. Your answer will not change anything between us well unless you say yes then I'll shout it to the world and be an awesome boyfriend. I don't want you to feel pressured. I will wait for as long as it take." Christian turns me to face him and wipes away my tears. He picks me up and sits me on the counter.

"You are going to tell me what's going on in that head of yours Ana. You have been crying since you got home baby. I'm not moving till you open up to me."

"You want me to be your girlfriend?" Is all I can say.

"Ana I want you to be my wife but I know that it is definitely too soon for that." I can't help but giggle.

"You have a funny way of asking Mr. Grey." Christian shrugs his shoulders and smiles at me.

"Don't distract me Miss Steele. You need to tell me what's bothering you." Christian hands me a napkin and I take a deep breath and look into his eyes.

"I don't know why I'm so emotional today. I was at the office thinking about how we've gotten even closer than before. I started realizing that somehow along the way I've let my guard down when it comes to you because my feelings for you have gotten stronger." Christian wipes away the tears.

"On the way over here I started thinking about how what if things would have happened differently, it's not that I'm dwelling in the past but I couldn't help but think that maybe we would have been married by now. Or maybe planning our wedding. I know we can't go back and in a way I wouldn't want to but it just hit me and I hadn't realized the tears till Sawyer asked if I was alright." Christian hugs me tight and kisses my forehead.

"I'm so sorry Ana. I was so stupid..." I put my hand on his cheek and shake my head.

"It's okay Christian. I was just being silly, I don't know why I'm being like this today. When I saw the way you set up dinner tonight I remember my birthday party and how we shared that special night. All those feelings came back to me but then you kept looking at your watch and your phone went off and you were so quick to come inside."

"I'm such an ass Ana, I didn't even think of how that would make you feel. You thought I would push you away again." Christian tells me and I nod.

"You have to know that I was looking at my watch because Kate was suppose to show up at a certain time. Once everyone was here they wanted to make sure they had gotten the right cake before I brought you back inside." I can see that Christian is hurt that I thought the worse.

"I know that now but I realized that maybe I'm more scared of you hurting me again than I realized. You have been so wonderful but I'm scared Christian. I believe that you won't hurt me again but I guess today just proved that I still have my doubts and that I am so scared of how vulnerable I am when I'm with you." Christian is holding my hands and I wipe away his tears. I know he wants to say something but I beat him to it.

"Then you surprise me with the dinner, having everyone over with the cake and then tricking me with the ice cream. Christian Grey doesn't do girlfriends but yet you want me to be yours. I can see how serious you are about this and it makes me so happy." I take a deep breath and Christian kisses me and it's such a soft and sensual kiss, it's like he's apologizing and pouring all his feelings into it.

"I love you Anastasia Rose Steele with all my heart, I always have and always will not matter where we go from here. I'm so sorry Ana for breaking your trust and hope in me and I don't blame you for not trusting me with your heart again. I mean it when I say I will wait an eternity for you. You are the only person my heart belongs to Ana. I know I don't deserve another chance but I want one with you." Christian says leaning in to kiss me as I am sobbing now.

"Please say something." Christian whispers as he leans his forehead on mine. I put my arms around him and kiss his lips softly.

"I'm trusting you with my heart so don't hurt me again Christian Trevelyan Grey." Christian looks shocked then he lifts me off the counter and spins me around.

"You won't regret it Ana. You have made me the happiest man in the world." Christian hugs me and carries me to the living room where he lays me down. He turns on the TV and plays Gone with the Wind one of my all time favorites as we get comfortable. Christian hugs me tightly towards him and I can feel myself drift of to sleep.


	29. Chapter 29

**A/N: Sorry for not updating sooner but hope you enjoy this chapter. Is it smooth sailing for our **couple? We'll have to wait and see.****

 **Chapter 29: Chapter 29**

 **CHRISTIAN**

Ross walks into my office with some paper work she wants me to look at.

"You know that smile is starting to scare the employees. Two weeks straight you've been smiling." Ross says setting the paper work on my desk.

"Shut up Ross." I say.

"I'm just saying they think you are going crazy." She starts laughing and sits down.

"I should fire your ass." I say.

"You'd be lost without me Christian."

"I knew you two had a think going on." We turn to look at Ana who walks in looking sexy as hell with a tight black pencil skirt and a pink button up shirt.

Fuck me I can't stand up right now. Things have been great with Ana we finally started sleeping in my room. I love sleeping next to Ana she makes me feel at peace. It's getting hard for me to control myself around her. We haven't made love even though we get close but I don't feel she's ready to trust me completely yet and I don't mind. The way she opened up to me the night of her birthday I can understand her doubts. Ana doesn't hold it against me, hell she hasn't even brought it up. I'm the one who usually stops us from going further, not that I think about it. I think part of me doesn't want to think that this is about sex, I want her to know that I want her as a person not just her body.

"Oh no my sweet sexy Ana." Ross says breaking me out of my thoughts, I know she's doing it to piss me off but I just ignore her.

"Christian is the last person I would even think about touching in any sexual way. You on the other hand." Ross says hugging Ana.

"Ross get you hands of my girl before I call Gwen." They both start laughing as I pull Ana towards me and give her a kiss.

"I'm sure Gwen wouldn't mind." Ross winks at us as she walks out of the office.

"You find it funny Miss Steele."

"Just a little bit, I mean I'm sure they can teach me a thing or two." Ana says pulling me towards her and kissing me before I can say anything.

I lift her up and walk to my office chair and sit us down. Ana starts moving her hips making me harder than I already was. I can't help but bite her bottom lip and growl as she moans making me deepen the kiss.

"Baby we need to stop, I don't think I can control myself much longer." I whisper against her lips.

"Maybe I want you to loose control and take me Mr. Grey."

Fuck me if that isn't what I've been wanting to hear but I don't want it be in my office like this. Not the first time, well I mean technically after all these years it would count like the first time.

"Fuck Ana! I want nothing more that to take you right now but I want to be able to take my time with you. If you don't stop I'm going to com in my pa..." Fuck she's nibbling my year and I can hear her giggle.

"Fine Mr. Grey, I will see you later." Ana says getting off of me and walking towards the door.

I walk as fast as I can which is hard with this hard on and pull Ana towards me before she can open it. I give her another kiss.

"You didn't eat." I say pointing at the food on the table.

"When did that get there?" Ana asks confused.

"It was brought in before you came." I say with a smirk.

"You knew we wouldn't be leaving your office." Ana says walking towards the couch where the food is.

"I just thought it would be better to eat in here where I can have you all to myself." I lean over to kiss Ana and she gives me a smile. I love how she still blushes when I kiss her.

"You can't handle me Mr. Grey." I raise an eye brow at her as she takes another bit of her food.

"We'll see who can't handle who." I say and of course Ana rolls her eyes at me and I can't help but slap her ass whens he gets up to throw away our plates. She just giggles.

"Speaking of which. Why the hell are you dressed so sexy?"

"I had a lunch date with my boyfriend so I thought I'd dress nice." I look at her and she unbuttons her first button in a challenging manner.

"What you are wearing is sexy, not nice Ana." I walk towards her and button up her shirt, even though it's one button and I can't see much, it's still distracting.

"Do you have a problem with the way I'm dressed Christian?"

"No, but you should only dress like this with me."

"Hmm." Is all Ana says.

"Fuck baby I'm a greedy fucker and I hate the thought of other guys checking you out. Just looking at you I wanted to have my way with you. You are mine Anastasia as I am yours." I lean down to kiss her.

"I was thinking we should go to my dad's cabin tonight." Ana suggests.

"Are you trying to seduce me Ana?" She hits me on the arm laughing.

"It will be a romantic getaway." Ana says with a smile.

Ana and I talk some more before she heads back to her office. I tell Taylor the plans for tonight and the weekend and he tells me he'll take care of the arrangements. I remember when we told everyone that Ana and I are officially together, they were all practically jumping with joy. Elliot and Ethan both told me not to fuck it up this time or else. Elliot then told me that he was there for me for anything no matter what it is even for advice. I try to finish my work so I can leave early. Taylor walks into the office, I can see that I'm not going to like what he has to say.

"Sir Ana and Sawyer got to Grey Construction safely but there was a bit of an issue. Jacqueline approached them. I thinks it's better that Sawyer explains what happened. Ana is safe sir. Ryan and Reynolds went to check on the SUV and found an envelop with pictures, it's addressed to Ana. There was also inappropriate words sprayed on the side of the vehicle sir."

"Does Ana know?" Taylor tells me that she isn't aware of this.

"Tell the guys not to bring up the envelope or the SUV being vandalized." I know Taylor doesn't agree but doesn't say anything.

"I will tell her Taylor but we have a weekend planned and I don't want to ruin it. I will tell her when we come back. Do you know what those pictures are about?" I can't believe this shit, I know it's not Taylor's fault. I would originally yell at him but I know Ana would be pissed if she found out not that he would tell her but I'm learning to control my temper.

"Ryan said they are pictures of you and Leila in the play room sir." I nod at Taylor and tell him I'll be ready to leave in a bit.

Fuck I don't want show something like that to Ana, she doesn't need to see that shit. Fuck but I know I have to tell her. Fucking Hell! I decide to call Ana to make sure she's alright. I relax once I hear her voice it's like she was expecting my call.

"Are you alright?" I ask.

"No the wicked witch almost got me. Ana says laughing trying to lighten the mood.

"Ana..."

"I'm perfectly fine. You know Sawyer is quick." Ana says giggling.

"Ana he needs to let me know when something like this happens it's very important." I hear Ana sigh.

"I know Christian and he didn't let her get near me. You can relax, we'll talk about it when we get home...I mean to Escala. I have work to do and I'm sure you do too besides we have somewhere to go tonight and I'm not working late." I can't help but laugh.

"I like the sound of that Ana. Home." I say a bit more relaxed.

"It does have a nice ring to it." Ana says and I know she's smiling.

"Taylor and I will be picking you and Sawyer up. No and's, if's or but's about it Ana." I hang up before she can argue.

I know she's probably going to be pissed and would make Sawyer take her home but she wouldn't want him to get in trouble. I hate that she's so caring about them but that's also what I love about Ana she's always caring to everyone.

"After my last meeting Taylor and I head over to Grey Construction. I walk into Ana's office without knocking which I know she doesn't like.

"I can see you still don't know how to knock." I shrug my shoulders and sit down. Ana grabs her purse and starts walking away.

We arrive at Escala and Gail greets Ana with a hug like she has been doing for some time now. I remember Gail never liked my subs. The few times she was here they would act so snobby with her and I hated it. I had made sure they knew not to disrespect Gail or I would terminate the contract. We all walk into the study and take a seat. Ryan and Reynolds walk in a few minutes later. Ana was introduced to all the CPO's so she wouldn't freak out if she ever noticed them following her.

"What happened today?" I ask. Ana looks at me confused, it's like she expected me to know everything already.

"Ana I don't know the details other than Jacqueline approaching you on our way back to Grey Construction."

"We parked in the garage like always, then we started walking towards the elevators. There was a sign that said out of order on them. Sawyer asked if I was alright to walk quickly in these shoes which made me laugh. Sawyer can tell you the rest because he noticed the wicked witch before me." We all try not to laugh but we can't help it.

"Sir I noticed an older woman who looked like Jacqueline walking quickly towards us. When I got a better look to make sure it was her I dialed Ryan just encase I needed assistance. I pulled Ana towards me and told her to stay close. Jacqueline started talking but I asked Ana to keep walking since we were out in the open. I didn't want to turn my back on Jacqueline and I wasn't sure who put the out of order sign on the elevators so I wasn't going to risk going back to the SUV. I figured it could have been a distraction." Sawyer says.

Taylor gives Sawyer a look telling him not to say more.

"Thank you Sawyer." Taylor says as they start walking out but that can't be it.

"Sawyer." Ana says making him turn to look at her.

"Is there something you aren't telling me?" I can see he doesn't want to lie to her and I don't blame him.

"Ana they guys have to get ready for the drive tonight. I'll tell you the rest" I tell her as the guys walk out.

"You asked him to keep something from me?" Ana stands up and I know she's getting upset.

"Yes but I was going to tell you about it. I just didn't want you to hear it from Sawyer. Ana if it was something really important Sawyer would have told you himself. For something like this I just thought it'd be better if I told you." I run my hands through my hair.

"Can you first tell me what Jacqueline said to you?"

"Why don't you tell me first what Sawyer is keeping from me. That seems more important" I try to control my temper but it pisses me off.

"Dammit Anastasia this isn't a fucking game!"

"You think I don't take this seriously?" Ana's about to walk out but I grab her arm gently.

"Ana I was going to tell you when we came back. I didn't want it to ruin our weekend. I know it was stupid of me but I swear I was going to tell you." Ana's eyes soften and she gives me a smile.

"I can understand that, but you need to communicate with me. I'm sorry if I over reacted. I just hate not knowing Christian."

"I get it, and I know I shouldn't keep it from you but I honestly just want us to enjoy our weekend together. Without any worries." Ana tip toes to kiss me.

"I guess I can wait till we come back to talk about it." Ana says with a pout making me laugh.

"I'm sorry for causing all this. I should have never gotten involved with Jacqueline." I say.

"You are worth the fight Christian besides I have something she never could have."

"And that is?" I ask as Ana as she kisses me softly.

"Your heart."

"No one will ever have that but you Ana, it's always been yours." I say kissing her.

"I won't let her or anyone else hurt you Ana, I swear."

"I know Christian and we just have to ignore her. She's desperate and she thinks that she can mess with my mind but it's not going to work as long as we tell each other everything. She's desperate to have you under her control. I can handle whatever she says to me as long as you don't hide things from me." I smile at Ana and squeeze her hand.

"I know it's going to bother you so I will tell you what she said if you promise not to let it ruin our weekend. You have to let it go." I look at Ana and smile at her.

"Christian just remember that since she can't black mail you with your lifestyle because you told me besides she's really desperate."

"I promise to do my best, but if she threatened you then I can't promise you anything." Ana sighs and gives me a smile.

We move over to the couch where it's more comfortable. "Okay her exact words were…." Ana hesitates then looks at me.

"Oh you poor dear it's such a shame, I mean if you can't handle a little tap on the cheek there's no way you'll be enough for Christian. You know he always enjoyed punishing his subs to their limits. You know the whip is his favorite. I can't believe he put a guard on you over something so small. You really are weak, Christian is going so get bored of you in no time." Ana says trying to mock Jacqueline's voice.

I can hear the hurt in Ana's voice even though she's trying to make a joke of it to lighten the mood. Fuck I'm pissed, I can't believe that bitch would talk to Ana that way.

"Christian you promised." Ana says breaking me from my thoughts.

"How did that make...Fuck! Ana you know its not true right? You are more than enough for me, and I can never get bored of you. I know th..." I start to say when Ana grabs my face and crashes her lips to me.

"It hurt to hear what she said but it also shows me that she knows she's lost you so she'll just about anything to try and make me doubt myself. The best part is that you have shown me what you truly want and I know that what you and I have is special even after everything."

"I love you Anastasia." I say kissing her passionately. There's a knock on the door and Taylor lets me know everything is ready to go.


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter 30: Chapter 30**

 **Anastasia**

I think about the romantic getaway Christian and I had. He was so romantic and amazing. We had so much fun. We went fishing and hiking. Christian would light up the fire place and we would eat dinner in front of it. We even camped out in the back yard which was pretty funny when Christian told Sawyer and Taylor we would be fine there's no bears in the backyard. We had a little campfire in my dad's fire pit. We set up the tent, I couldn't stop laughing at the heater that Christian set up inside the tent. I told him that was cheating but he said he didn't need me to get sick. Christian took off the top of the tent so we could see the stars. We ended up making love that night and it felt like it was the first time.

Christian was so gentle and the way we cuddled and talked afterwards was so special. We fell asleep in each others arms. Christian was a bit resistant at first and kept telling me we didn't have to if I wasn't ready. He kept telling me that he wasn't doing all this to get into my panties which made me laugh. I told him that never crossed my mind and that he shouldn't ruin the mood because it all feels so natural. There's no point in fighting it anymore. That was all he had to hear and his lips were on mine in no time.

When we came back Christian explained to me what happened with the SUV and how Sawyer thought he also saw Leila there but he wasn't sure because she disappeared before Ryan got a chance to check it out. Christian also handed me the envelope that was left for me in the SUV. He told me the pictures are of him and Leila when he was her Dom.

"Ana please don't shut me out, I can understand if you see me differently once you see the pictures but please talk to me." Christian had said.

I assured him I didn't need to look at them since they are from his past and if I needed to know more details I would just ask him which made him relax. Christian explained more of what the lifestyle consists of and what he did with his subs which was hard to hear but he was being honest about it. Mia walks into my office and starts talking about our girls weekend which is finally happening after weeks of trying to make it happen. We plan to leave tonight after work. We decided on the spa retreat that Kate's mom recommended. Then they also want to go out dancing which I would prefer to stay home. I'm tempted to invite our moms with us just to ensure we don't go out.

"Ana are you listening to me. I asked Christian and he said as long as Ryan and Sawyer are with us it shouldn't be a problem." I laugh at the fact that she asked Christian for permission.

"Mia I don't need Christian's permission. I hate dancing you and Kate both know this but since I'm out numbered I take it I lost." Mia gives a huge smile and tells me I won't regret it.

"You know I still can't believe you and my brother are finally together, it's so exciting. For the record I didn't ask my brother for permission I just didn't want you to use security as a reason to not go dancing. You've been dating for about three maybe four weeks now and everyone knows you make your own choices. " I shake my head at Mia who just smiles.

"Where should we go eat?" Mia asks but before I can say anything Hunter walks in. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt."

"You're not interrupting. I'm Mia by the way." She sticks out her hand and Hunter shakes it with a smile.

"I'm Hunter and if I remember correctly you are Elliot and Christian's baby sister." I shake Hunter's hand as well and I can see Mia is studying us.

"I wanted to see if you were free for lunch." Hunter says with a huge smile and I'm about to tell him no when Mia of course has to speak up.

"Ana and I were about to have lunch but you are welcomed to join us." I look at Mia who ignores me.

"I wouldn't want to impose." Hunter says looking at me.

"Don't be silly you wouldn't be imposing, right Ana?" Mia gives me a huge smile.

"I don't mind." I say with a smile.

We decide to go to a little bistro down the street. I check with Sawyer to make sure it's alright if we walk he tells me there shouldn't be an issue, assuring me that he'll be close by but do I want to have to explain why my driver is walking with us which makes me laugh. When it's me and Sawyer it's fine but I understand what Sawyer means. I tell Mia it's better that we drive. Hunter tells us he'll meet us there which I'm grateful for.

"Mia why would you invite him to lunch with us?"

"The poor guy came to invite you out to lunch, you could give him a break." Mia tells me like its no big deal.

"Ana it's just lunch and I'm here, actually you should be thanking me because I just saved you from having to reject him. This way it gives you time to think of a way to tell him you are with my brother. I know you guys haven't gone public because of the Jacqueline thing." Mia winks at me with a smile. I can't help but laugh.

"I could just come out and say it you know. There's no need to think about it." I say.

"True but you can't just blurt it out, that would just be weird you have to let him tell you what he wants. Then you turn him down by saying you are already taken." Mia says making me laugh more.

We arrive at the bistro and Hunter is waiting for us at the entrance. Once we are seated Mia starts off the conversation.

"So Hunter we know that Elliot is building a few offices for you but what exactly is it you do?" Mia asks like she's interviewing him. Hunter laughs.

"Well Miss Grey." Mia and I start laughing at how professional he got all of a sudden.

"I own publishing houses and we also recently opened up a few books stores and plan to open one here in Seattle.

We also own a few hotels." Hunter tells us.

"Really a publishing houses? I would've never guessed." I say without thinking.

"I get that a lot but I had a friend who wanted to be a writer and was struggling to get her book published and most of the publishing houses wouldn't even look at it. So I decided to open up a small one. You know take a risk, I didn't think it'd really take off but then her book was a best seller, then the second author we took on also sold quite a bit of books. The rest is pretty much history. We usually take on the scripts that are rejected by most publishing houses. Now don't get me wrong there are some that we reject also but we also give them tips on how to improve the story."

"I'm impressed Hunter." Mia says with a smile looking at me.

"Why thank you." Hunter says with a smile. Mia gets a call and excuses herself.

"Ana, I don't know what's going on with you and Christian but I also know you aren't together because he would have made sure I knew it even though he's kind of staked his claim without being so forward. I'm sorry if that sounded harsh but I'm not one to beat around the bush. I've been out of town and I came by to talk to you today but I was wondering if you would join me for dinner tomorrow? I would like to get to know you better." Before I can answer I hear Christian's voice.

"Hello Anastasia." I know he's pissed but is trying his best to put on a smile. I stand to hug him and he pulls me towards him and kisses me roughly.

"Hunter." Christian says as Hunter nods at him but you can see that they are both having some kind of pissing contest. Thankfully Mia comes back to the table.

"Hi Christian" Mia says very cheerfully.

"I hate to cut this short but I forgot I was suppose to meet mom, we should head back." Mia tells me.

"Hunter thank you for lunch." Mia says as she pulls out money but Hunter tells us it was on him. I thank Hunter as well, then I wave bye to Christian before walking out with Mia.

"Are you okay? I mean the tension between Christian and Hunter is nuts. I turn to see Christian walking to another table as Hunter walks out of the restaurant.

"Yeah I'm fine, I just don't get what the deal between Christian and Hunter is." Mia shrugs wondering the same.

We get back to the office and Mia gets in her car. I laugh because she says Grace is going to kill her for being late. I walk into my office and sit down. I think about what Hunter told me and I can't believe what he said. I should have stopped him from talking and told him me and Christian are together but he took me off guard. I wish I could have told him right there, I'm so stupid for not clearing that up. Mia and I had discussed it but with Mia being there I didn't think he would try anything. The few times we've had lunch we have a good time but I never read more into it. I need to tell Christian before he hears it from somewhere else.

I call Andrea and ask her if Christian will be free after lunch but she informs me that he won't be returning to the office. I call his cell but he doesn't answer, then I remember he still had his lunch meeting at the restaurant. I try to do some work but I can't concentrate so I decide to go to Escala. When I arrive Sawyer tells me to let him know when I'm ready to leave. We are going to pick Mia and Kate up before we leave. I check to see if Christian is in his room but it's empty. Gail lets me know he's in the study just as she walks towards the kitchen. As I get closer to the study I can hear raised voices. Christian sounds pissed. I'm about to open the door till I hear my name so I decide to listen.

 **CHRISTIAN**

After seeing Ana at the table with Hunter I was pissed. I finished my lunch meeting and decided to go to Escala since there was no way I could concentrate. I let Andrea know I wasn't going back to the office. Five minutes after i walk into the penthouse Taylor lets me know that Hunter is here to see me. I might as well get this over with before Ana gets home. I know Hunter wants Ana but it's not going to happen. Hunter is use to getting what he wants. Hunter walks in and throws a few pictures on my desk.

"You get all cozy with my sister while you were pursuing Ana? I'm going to convince Ana that she made a bad choice Christian."

"I wasn't cozy with Jules who ever gave you these pictures didn't show when I walked away from her. She's the one who's been coming on to me Hunter, and I've turned her down every time. I'm not interested in your sister. Where are the pictures of the men I had a business meeting with?"

I know Hunter is thinking about what I just said but I have to admit these pictures look bad. I would be thinking the same thing he is. I know he's considering it but he does want Ana and so he's going to use this against me.

"I'm warning you Hunter stay away from Ana!" I shout.

"I'm suppose to believe you really care about her. Come on Christian you only care about yourself. So don't give me that bullshit about Ana being different." Hunter tells me.

"Hunter I'm being dead serious Ana is mine. We are in a relationship, she's special to me. Stay the fuck away from her Hunter."

"You must think I'm stupid. You expect me to believe that crap. I know she deserves better than either one of us but between you and me I am the better man Christian and you know it."

"Fuck you Hunter! You aren't any better than I am. Ana does deserve better than either one of us but you know what she cares about me and for some reason she decided to be with me and I'll take that and you bet you sorry ass that I will be what she deserves."

Hunter laughs sarcastically. "You know what? I don't buy your bullshit Christian. I'm sure that you made Ana your girlfriend so I can stay away from her. We had a deal and you broke it, even though you didn't sleep with Jules you still got close to her. You're a smart man I'll give you that, I know you made Ana yours to stop me from pursuing her but it doesn't work that way Christian."

I feel my anger get the best of me and before I know it I'm punching Hunter in the face.

"Fuck you Hunter. Not that it's your business but Ana and I have a past. I was stupid to let her go once and I'm not making the same mistake twice. I asked Ana to be my girlfriend Hunter not my sub. She's not fucking property. I love Ana, this has nothing to do with you or Jules."

"Really because these pictures show otherwise. You say my sister was making a pass at you but I don't see you moving away from her. If anything you sit back down. Are you giving her hope before you shut her down? When I asked her about it she told me not to worry, it was none of my business. What was it Christian if Ana shut you down you were going to contract Jules as your sub, is that it?"

"Fuck no Hunter. That never crossed my mind. Ana is not a sub she's not part of that shit! Hunter you know damn well that I did nothing with Jules, you are just finding a way around the stupid deal. Ana won't fall for you. Regardless of what you think I have no interest in Jules not even to piss you off." I yell.

"I'm sure she can be trained Christian. I'm sure that if Ana wasn't in the picture you'd find a way to fuck Jules or even train her to be your sub. Guys like us know what we want and we go after it Christian. We don't do love, we are dom's so admit it. You only made Ana yours because you didn't want me near her."

Before I can say anything we hear the door slam shut and we both turn to see a really pissed and hurt Ana standing there.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31: Chapter 31**

 **ANASTASIA**

"Really because these pictures show otherwise. You say my sister was making a pass at you but I don't see you moving away from her. If anything you sit back down. Are you giving her hope before you shut her down? When I asked her about it she told me not to worry it was none of my business. What was it Christian if Ana shut you down you were going to contract Jules as your sub, is that it?"

"Fuck no Hunter. That never crossed my mind. Ana is not a sub she's not part of that shit! You know damn well that I did nothing with Jules, you are just finding a way around the stupid deal. Ana won't fall for you Hunter and regardless of what you think I have no interest in Jules not even to piss you off." I yell.

"I'm sure she can be trained Christian. I'm sure that if Ana wasn't in the picture you'd find a way to fuck Jules or even train her to be your sub. I've told you I don't want Jules in this life but you always have to have a back up right Christian? Guys like us know what we want and we go after it. We don't do love Christian, we are dom's so admit it you only made Ana yours because you didn't want me near her."

I can't believe it, I'm hearing what they are saying but I can't believe it. I feel my legs are about to give out when Taylor passes by and catches me. I can see the concern in his eyes, I tell him I'm alright. Taylor tells me that I should sit but I tell him I have to take care of something first. I point to Christian's study he tells me he will come with me but I tell him I'll be fine.

"Just call if you need me mam." Taylor says but I know he's going to stay outside the door. I straighten myself up and walk into the study and slam the door making Christian and Hunter turn towards me.

By the look on their faces I can see I got them off guard. I take a few steps away from the door. Hunter looks at Christian then back at me.

"Please don't stop on my account." I say in a surprisingly firm tone. Right now I just want to cry but I'm so mad. Neither of them say anything and I can see Christian wants to come near me but isn't sure if he should.

"All of a sudden neither of you have anything to say? Why don't you tell me what this deal was exactly." I say and I know Christian is trying to figure out what I'm thinking.

"Ana it was stupid and we made it after the Coping Together Gala." Christian says in a firm voice but I know he's not mad at me.

"But you still went along with it. You think that was okay?" I stop because I am not having this argument in front of Hunter.

"What was the deal?" I ask looking between them.

"Not that we need to explain anything to you but I respect you and you deserve to now. As long as Christian didn't approach my sister, I wouldn't approach you either."

"You don't have to explain it to me? Is that because you are dom and I'm suppose to let you make decisions for me. Guess what Hunter it concerns me so you bet your ass you have to explain it to me."

Hunter looks surprised and tries to hold in his smile.

"I apologize Ana. I saw how he was very territorial of you, I was going to see to what extend. Once he saw what I wanted he told me to stay away from you and he'd do the same with Jules. I didn't want my sister to be his next sub."

You don't want Jules part of that life but it's okay to train me like I'm some kind of animal? Let me guess, you don't care because a dom only cares about himself? Do you even care about Jules or is it the fact that you don't want Christian to be with her?" I can see Hunter is getting pissed and he looks towards Christian who is now closer to me.

"I love my sister Ana and this is the last thing I would want for her. We care about the needs of our subs, we take care of them after a scene but we don't really develop feelings for them. I had my eye on you when I first saw you." Hunter looks at me like I'm a piece of meat.

"I told you Ana is not a sub Hunter. You need to get that fucking idea out of your head! Ana will not submit to you or anyone for that matter, she's better than that!" Christian says in a tone I've never heard before but it's strong enough to show that he shouldn't mess with me. Hunter turns to look at me.

"I apologize again, I didn't mean for it to sound like that Ana." Before I can say anything Hunter looks at Christian again.

"You can cut the bullshit act Christian. I know you enough to say that deep down the dom in you is waiting to come out. You are just like me and the rare times we see someone we like, we pull out all the stops to get them, even playing the part Christian. We don't do love, we care but we don't fall in love." Hunter says in the same tone Christian used earlier.

I can feel Christian tense up and he's about to punch Hunter but Sawyer holds him back. I didn't even notice he walked in. I wonder where Taylor is.

"We crave the lifestyle Christian, no matter how hard you try to fight it. I've tried the normal shit and it didn't work and you know it."

"Despite what you think Hunter it's not the same. I don't give a fuck what you think or believe but trust me Ana is not a submissive. We share something special. I love her even if it's hard for you to believe but it's the truth." Hunter and Christian just stare at each other like if they are having a silent argument.

"What happen to love is for fools Christian? Isn't it you who told me that shit, how Jacqueline was right about that. We agreed that we weren't capable of loving anyone other than family. Love makes us stupid." Hunter says and I can see a bit of hurt in his eyes but he quickly shakes it off. I know Christian wants to say something but I beat him to it.

"Christian and I share something special and we love each other despite what you think or what Christian has thought in the past. You don't know a thing about us Hunter so you need to stop making assumptions.

"I can see how you can be so entranced with Ana. I saw it that night, it's her fiery spirit. Knowing that she gives enough reasons for punishment. You can't tell me she doesn't make your palm twitch Christian. I'm sure there's times you just want to grab her and give her a good fuck for defying you. The few times I've gone out with her I've held back but I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to put her over the bench and spank the shit out of her."

Before I realize what's happening Christian punches Hunter. I look up at Sawyer who just shrugs his shoulders and whispers he deserves it. I would have done it but Mr. Grey beat me to it. I can't help but smile.

"Don't disrespect Anastasia like that Hunter, I've told you already she's different. Everything with her is different. Stay the fuck away from her!" Hunter gives Christian an evil smirk.

"You are good Christian, I'll give you that much. If you ever change your mind Ana you know where to find me. And for the record my life is private just like Christian's. I'm sure I have nothing to worry about so I won't ask you to sign an NDA. But if you think about going public about my choice of lifestyle, you will be doing the same to Christian." Hunter says as he walks out the door.

"Just call me when you are ready to leave mam." Sawyer says walking out where I see Taylor standing next to the door.

 **CHRISTIAN**

Sawyer walks out of the study leaving me and Ana alone. I can't figure out what she's thinking and it's making me more nervous. I hope she doesn't believe everything Hunter said. Fuck I hate not knowing what is going on in her mind.

"Do you not trust me enough to make my own choices? I mean to make a deal with Hunter to keep him away from me? Does that mean part of you considered making Jules your sub? Were you interested in her before me.?" Ana asks not giving me a chance to really gather my thoughts. I can see the anger in her eyes and it's not good.

"I'm not interested in Jules. She's my type and Hunter knows it but as strange as it sounds I wasn't attracted to her Ana. She's pretty but I don't find her attractive at all. Hunter and I were friends but we also knew how to piss each other off. At the Coping Together Gala I knew he found you attractive and I don't blame him, Hunter also knew that I wanted you but he doesn't know about our history so to him it was going to be a game. Jacqueline would get the subs for me but there was a short time where I went to a club just to see if I could do this myself. There's doms looking for subs and vice versa, Hunter and I met and we would find subs we like and contract them but there were a few times where we both had our eye on one. This is going to sound fucked up but we would compete getting her to sign."

"You are saying it was going to be a game for you? I was just a fun chase?" Ana says pacing back and forth.

"Fuck no Ana! It wasn't going to be a competition for me." I say and Ana raises her eyebrow letting me know that I'm making it sound worse.

"Fuck! What I mean is that it wasn't going to be like that when it came to you. There was no way in hell that I was going to let him turn it into a game where you are concerned. I could see it in his eye, when he saw you but when he knew I was interested it just made things more interesting for him. Fuck Ana I swear it wasn't a game for me. I just wanted to keep him away from you." I can see Ana is processing what I just told her.

"I know it's selfish of me but I was jealous but I also knew he was a dom and needed to keep you away from him. Don't get me wrong Hunter was not going to force you to do anything, he knows how to take no for an answer, but he's also willing to try the normal as we call it just to get what he wants, not that this is an excuse but I still wasn't completely on your good side. Fuck Ana I wouldn't have even considered it, but I couldn't help it at that point I just wanted to make things right and I needed to get Hunter out of the picture."

Ana is studying me, there's a part of her that believes me but there's a little bit of doubt.

"All I could think was Hunter turning on his charm and you falling for him. I knew Jules is his weakness so I decided to talk to her and make him think twice before going after you. Hunter called me the next day and told me to stay away from Jules, I of course taunted him and told him I couldn't control what Jules did. Hunter of course told me he knew I was interested in you and it would be just like old times. I was pissed and told him that I would stay away from Jules if he stayed away from you. He agreed without hesitation. It was stupid Ana and I'm sorry."

I take a few steps towards her and grab her arm luckily she doesn't pull away from me. We walk towards the couch and sit down.

"I can understand that. It makes sense but are you sure you didn't consider having Jules as your back up? I know you've reassured me and I believe you but the way Hunter was talking I can't help but ask. Did you really tell him you'd show her a good time? It had to be because you considered not just to piss him off. What if I would have shut you down would you still be in the lifestyle? Would you have tried to make Jules your sub?"

"I didn't even consider it Ana, I just made it seem that way to mess with Hunter and get him to stay away from you. That night at the Coping Together Gala, I only talked to Jules to show Hunter how close I could get to her. I never lead her on, all we had was simple conversation about how she liked Seattle so far. I wasn't even flirting, I didn't think she'd think I was interested in her. I can understand why Hunter doesn't want Jules in the lifestyle because I feel the same way about Mia. So I can respect what he's asking. I swear I don't find her attractive, I can't explain it but I know because when I would look at subs who were usually brunettes I didn't find all of them attractive. I never considered making Jules my sub, it was always just to make Hunter mad." Ana nods in understanding. I can't help it but lean down and kiss her.

I put my head on her forehead as we stare at each other. Ana closes her eyes and when she opens them I can see that what she's going to say next is going to make a difference. I know it has to be about what Hunter said towards the end.

"I know you said you don't regret leaving the lifestyle but do you miss it?" Fuck! I run my hands through my hair as I pull away from her and I can see her studying me.

"Christian?"

I take a deep breath trying to gather how to explain it to Ana without making it seem bad. I could never find the right words when it comes to Ana. I look back at her and I can see she's upset.

"Your silence is enough of an answer." Ana stands up and I can see the tears in her eyes. I know she's trying hard not to let them fall. I gently grab her.

"Ana." I say pulling her to me so she can sit on the sofa again.

"I miss parts of it but for the most part I really don't miss it. I know it doesn't make sense but it's the truth." Ana nods and I'm thankful she isn't moving away from me.

"You miss the control." I can see Ana is thinking long and hard.

'Baby don't over think it. I don't want to go back to the lifestyle." Ana looks up at me and I can see the tears running down her cheeks.

"I hate that I let Hunter get inside my head but I can't help but wonder how much of what he said is true. You said you miss some of it and I can understand that but how much do you really miss, or what parts exactly do you miss. Do you still need that control?"

"I don't need the control Ana but there are times where I miss it. I don't always think about it, it's not constantly on my mind. I know I can't control everything and I've been fine with that." I look up at her and I can see she has more on her mind and I'm so pissed at Hunter for putting these doubts in her head. I know she could care less what Jacqueline says but hearing another dom talk, I think it really made her rethink things. Fucking hell.

"Fuck Ana don't let Hunter make you doubt what we have. I'm happy with you, hell I feel better than I have in years. You are all I need. What we have is amazing." I say putting my hand on her cheek.

"I'm sorry Christian I guess hearing Hunter made me question if you do miss it. I mean he said he went back to the style how do you know for sure that you won't feel the same later on? Do you miss being a dom? God Christian do you want to punish me? Is there a part of you that wants to let the dom side of you out?" Fucking hell! There is still a part of me that wants to punish her for arguing with me but fuck it's just a reaction for me. I know I wouldn't be able to hurt her that way. I close my eyes for a second and when I open them I can see Ana studying me closely.

"Ana. I..." Fuck! I run my hands through my hair.

"It's a simple yes or no Christian. Is Hunter right do you hold back when all you really want to do is punish me or give me a good..." I don't even let her finish the sentence.

"Don't fucking say it Anastasia."

"It's true isn't it? Does your palm twitch Christian the way Hunter's does?" I know she's hurt, I can hear it in her voice, as much as she's trying to be angry I can see the hurt in her eyes because she already knows my answer.

"Fuck Ana!" I say now standing.

"Answer the question Christian. I want to hear you say it."

"Yes! Fuck Ana there are times where I want to put you over my knee and spank the shit out of you for arguing with me. When we argue all I want to do is kiss you roughly and have my way with you." I hear her sob and I move to get close to her but she moves away. Fuck!

"Do you want me as your sub? Do you wish I was one of them?" Before I can answer there's a knock on the door and Sawyer walks in. He looks at me then to Ana and I can see the concern on his face.

"I'm sorry sir I didn't mean to interrupt."

"Is it time?" Ana asks. Sawyer nods and tells Ana that her phone has been ringing.

"It has to be Kate and Mia wondering if we're on our way. We should leave now." Ana says walking towards the door but I grab her arm stopping her. Sawyer looks at me and gives me an apologetic look before closing the door.

"Ana we aren't finished talking, we need to clear this up."

"We'll talk when I get back Christian. I need to freshen up, Kate and Mia are waiting on me."

"Dammit Ana." She looks up at me and we just stare at each other and I know she's pissed at me for stopping her.


	32. Chapter 32

**A/N: Don't be too upset! Hope you all enjoy**

 **Chapter 32: Chapter 32**

 **ANASTASIA**

"Ana we aren't finished talking, we need to clear this up."

"We'll talk when I get back Christian. I need to freshen up, Kate and Mia are waiting on me." I say in my best firm voice hoping Christian will think I'm really angry and let me go.

"Dammit Ana." Christian says stopping me from leaving. I look up at him hoping he thinks I'm angry and will let me go. I know I shouldn't leave but I need to take a deep breath and let everything he said sink in.

I don't want to say something that I'll regret, I know he's just being honest and I appreciate it but it's hard to hear. I hate that I let Hunter get to me but I need to know how Christian really feels. I need to let Christian explain it to me but right now I feel all over the place and I know I might take things the wrong way.

"Christian I can't do this right now. I appreciate you being honest but I need time to process it. Hearing Hunter saying all those things made me realize that there has to be some truth to it. Not the thing with Jules I know you don't want her but everything else about the lifestyle."

"Fuck Ana! You aren't leaving till we deal with this." Reynolds can take Kate and Mia to the spa retreat and Sawyer will take you later. But I'm not letting you leave till we talk this out. We made a promise Anastasia! If it was me you wouldn't let me walk away." Christian says in a pissed off tone and I can't help but let the tears fall at how much he's fighting to make me understand.

I put my hand on his cheeks and then we sit on the sofa, I can hear him let out the breath he was holding. "I didn't mean..." Christian starts to say.

"Don't apologize Christian, you have nothing to be sorry about. The way that you are fight to make me understand it reminded me of...it doesn't matter but it means a lot to me Christian and I'm sorry for wanting to leave." He kisses my hand and gives me a sad smile in understanding.

"Christian it's okay to miss it. It just scares me that eventually you'll need or crave it, I know I shouldn't care what Hunter said but it makes sense. You are nothing like Hunter Christian but then again he's a dom like you. I need to know if you want me as your sub? Is there a part of you that wishes I was like them?" I ask more calmly. Christian tenses up and I can see he's pissed that l'm asking.

"Fuck no Ana! As much as you piss me off I wouldn't have it any other way. The way we push each other, I enjoy that. You are perfect just the way you are. You make me feel all kinds of emotions, all at once. There's times where I don't know whether to kiss you or spank you but it's not the same way as when I had a sub. You don't let me get away with shit, and you are so stubborn yet you are also funny and beautiful, you calm me down. There's so much that I love about you Ana." Christian says looking at me making sure I believe what he's saying.

"I don't crave it Ana and I don't need it. I miss the control or the power I would feel but trust me when I say I don't need it. There's times where I think how much easier it would be if you would just agree with me or do what I ask but hell who doesn't. I'm sure Elliot wishes Kate would sometimes just do what he asks but trust me Ana I also know that I wouldn't be happy if you didn't argue back. You are you, kind hearted and feisty all in one. I don't want you to be my sub, at first I considered it but I don't want to change you Ana. I want to be able to enjoy everything with you. I miss certain parts of the lifestyle but not the subs, I know that might not make sense but it's the truth."

"You mean like the punishments?" I ask and Christian nods.

"Not so much in the way you might be thinking. I've showed you the contract, those rules needed to be followed so when they broke one of the rules they would be punished. I don't want that with you Ana. I don't want you to only talk when I ask you a question or do something because I gave you a command. We've been making love since our romantic getaway and it's amazing. I love the way you look into my eyes, I love the way you touch me and how we connect on that level. We've even tried a few things but there are times where we argue and I just want to fuck you right there and then. As far as punishing you I don't want to punish you the way I did the subs, with you it's more of a playful way. No one has ever made me feel that way before. Ana I'm a walking hard on when I'm around you, even when we are just watching a movie or eating dinner I want to touch you in every way possible. I think about how amazing it feels when I'm deep inside of you and moving slowly savoring every minute of it but I enjoy every minute with you even when we have clothes on."

"When we make love I want to loose control, it just feels so good, sometimes I want to come within seconds. Don't get me wrong Ana but I'm afraid I might hurt you." Christian says and I can see he's worried that what he's saying might sound bad.

"You miss the kinky stuff. I looked some stuff up and Kate's told me a few things she's tried." Christian gives me a smile and nods a yes.

"I trust you not to hurt me Christian and I would like to try some things with you too. I don't want you to feel that you have to just do what I want or what you think I would want. If it's something you need or want then talk to me about it. Don't feel like you have to hold back, I'm not fragile and I'm sorry for the way I acted. I can see why you didn't want to discuss it with me. I wasn't running even if it seemed I was, I was so scared we'd argue and I'd say something I'd regret. I just couldn't think clearly."

"I get it Ana, and I'm sure if I were you I would have reacted the same way if not worse. I won't go back to the lifestyle Ana, and I don't need nor crave it. I don't want you as my sub and I don't think of you that way." Christian tells me putting his forehead on mine.

"I love you Christian and thank you for making my stubborn butt to stay and listen to you." I say kissing his lips softly. "I love you to Anastasia. I will fight for you always just the way you have and would for me. You know if I had to I would have tied you up and made you listen." Christian says winking at me.

"You sir are something else." Christian leans back so he's now laying on the couch and pulls me on top of him.

"Christian what is Hunter's story? Why does he hate Jacqueline?" I ask.

"It's not really my story to tell but I will tell you that Jacqueline stuck her nose in places she shouldn't have." He tells me.

"You would prefer me to ask him?" I ask lifting my head to look at Christian.

"Hell no but I have to respect his privacy. Even though Hunter was an asshole today, I also know he would respect my privacy so I would do the same for him. I would hate for you to ask him but he should be the one to tell you if he wishes to do so. Hunter was trying to test how serious we were, before he tried to pursue you. I know Hunter doesn't believe that I love you and I don't give a fuck but he's not one to interfere, he got the message. Ana he knows you are mine and you are off limits."

"Is that so?" I say as Christian holds me tight.

"You are mine Ana." Before I can say anything Christian kisses me. "Besides you are still going to have to be in touch with Hunter till Elliot finishes the project."

"And you are okay with that?" I ask confused.

"No but like I said Hunter is not going to try anything. So you'll have your chance to ask him about his past and realize that the situations are not the same." We lay on the couch for a while just cuddling. I start kissing Christian slowly as he starts moving his hands down my back.

"If you want to make it to the spa retreat tonight you should get going." Christian tells me.

"Are you kicking me out?" I say pretending to be hurt.

"Trust me Ana if it were up to me I'd keep you here all weekend but if you keep this up I won't be letting you leave tonight." I give him a smirk as I sit up.

"What if I want you to hold me longer." I say sitting up to where I am now straddling him.

I start moving my hips causing Christian to let out a growl. He sits up and kisses me with such passion I can't help but moan. He slowly leans me back so that I am now laying down and he's on top of me. We end up making love and it feels amazing, there's so much passion. It's like we are both pouring our feelings into each other.


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter 33: Chapter 33**

 **A/N: Hope you all enjoy**

 **CHRISTIAN**

Ana and I are getting dressed after taking a shower, since she'll still be leaving tonight.

"Christian?" I turn to face her.

"I came home early because I needed to tell you something. I just remembered right now and to be honest it's probably pointless but I guess you should still know." I raise an eyebrow curious as to what she has to say since she's rambling.

"It can't be pointless if you still think I should hear it." I say making her smile.

"It's the reason why I came over here to talk to you. I called Andrea at GEH but she said you had gone home and I was a bit worried but then I got here and everything happened so fast I forgot to mention it."

"Baby you are rambling, will you just spit it out already." I say laughing. "

"Today at lunch when Mia stepped away from the table Hunter asked me to dinner. I thought you needed to know and now he can't use that to taunt you. There's no way I was going to go to dinner with him anyway." Ana rambles knowing what my reaction is going to be.

I do my best to calm down, since she's right about Hunter. He knows Ana is mine. I tighten my fist.

"As much as it pisses me off that he asked you to dinner, it's nothing to worry about. The good thing is that with you turning him down and letting him know we're together it makes what I told him today more real to him. I know Hunter has his doubts but you turning him down without me being there will definitely make him back away." I say. I see Ana look down which only means there's more she needs to tell me.

"You made it clear to Hunter that I'm off limits, so it doesn't matter anymore. Christian you said you guys have a certain respect so he'll back off. I just wanted you to hear it from me."

"Ana, you did tell him you are my girlfriend? I say through my teeth, I look at Ana who is fidgeting. "Ana?" I say in a firm voice.

"No. I didn't get..." What the fuck! I run my hands through my hair pacing the room at how pissed I am right now.

'You didn't say no, how hard is it to say it Ana! You didn't even fucking tell him that we were together?!"

"I didn't get a chance Christian." Ana tells me and I could see that she feels bad about it but fuck!

"Didn't get the chance. It couldn't have been that hard Ana!" I say looking at her.

"I was caught of guard I never expected him to ask me out, then I heard your voice and before I knew it Mia came back and said we should leave. It's not an excuse but I feel awful as it is."

"Fuck no! It's not an excuse. You could have told him after you greeted me Ana, that would have been a perfect time. Maybe instead of thanking him for fucking lunch you should have said by the way Hunter I can't go to dinner with you because I'm sure Christian who happens to be my boyfriend wouldn't like the idea." I practically yell.

"It doesn't matter what Hunter thinks, you said it yourself you don't care. Is it really about me not saying anything Christian or is this why you asked me to be yours to keep Hunter away?!" Ana tells me and I can hear the hurt in her voice.

"It's not a game Ana. I asked you to be my girlfriend because that's what I want not because of Hunter or anyone else for that matter. All this makes a big fucking difference. Do you know what Hunter is thinking now? Do you realize I just looked like a fool in front of him? Fucking hell! Now I get why he didn't believe me or take me seriously and how could he when my own girlfriend couldn't turn him down for dinner, hell you couldn't even tell him we were together." I say not breaking eye contact from Ana. I know she's getting pissed and I know she feels bad but fuck right now I'm more pissed than she is.

"Christian! You don't look like a fool. Is that what this is about?"

"Fuck no Ana, I don't give a rats ass if I look like a fool as long as your by my side, I don't care what anyone says. The shit that bothers me is that you couldn't flat out tell Hunter no, that you couldn't tell him that we are together. And don't you dare try to turn this around on me."

"Christian it should..."

What Ana?!...Are you going to say it shouldn't matter, that it's no big deal! Guess what Ana it is because even if you say your not interested. Hunter is going to wait for the right fucking time so he can make his move. It doesn't matter if you fucking turn him down now. Hunter didn't believe me because you didn't say anything when you were alone with him! You didn't fucking take the time to tell him we were together! That's why when I was telling him how serious I was about you he just blew me off because my girlfriend failed to mention she was mine when she had the chance. It doesn't matter what we said earlier because even though I made it clear to Hunter that you aren't my sub, right now he's thinking that you only said you're with me because I was there, not because we have anything serious going on. Do you not see that me saying you're my girlfriend means shit to him! Hunter thinks your my sub Ana! Whatever you said in my study is because your dom was present."

"Christian I didn't think of it that way. I'm sorry but I think you are over reacting. Hunter knows we're in a relationship."

"Because I fucking told him not you!" I say.

"What if I go talk to him..."

"Are you fucking kidding me Anastasia? You really think seeking him out to give him an explanation is going to make things better." I say in a firm voice.

"I don't know how to fix it Christian. I didn't know that something so little would be such a big thing." Ana tells me.

"What difference would it had made if I told him in the restaurant? Why would it have mattered then?" Ana almost yells.

"He approached you Ana and you had every chance to tell him on your own. Hunter was testing the waters so to speak. He needed to hear it from you. When I approached you I didn't have a clue as to what was being said so that was a good opportunity but you decided to rush out. In his eyes you left because he saw a sub who knew she was going to get punished. In my office you were my sub in his eyes so you were pleasing your dom by saying what I wanted to hear. You did take us off guard neither of us were expecting you. Before you say it yes our contracts are private which just shows that you didn't say anything in public because you are my sub."

"I was just in shock, I had every intention of letting him know but I just froze then I heard your voice and I was glad to see you and I just didn't think of it. I don't have the same mentality as you guys do. He's not a threat to us Christian. I love you not him. It never crossed my mind but there's no need for you to get so angry. Hunter can do whatever he wants but I'm not going to give him the time of day. I messed up I'm sorry but you can't act like it's the end of the world because of my mess up. If Hunter is a bigger threat then you need to let me know but you need to trust me." Ana says with tears in her eyes.

I know I need to calm down because right now I'm too pissed to think straight.

"I Keep Sawyer with you at all times. Hunter knows I'm not interested in Jules so he's going full force when it comes to you. The fact that I didn't show him a contract shows him that we don't have an agreement." I'm about to walk out of the room but I know I can't expect her to understand our fucked of way and games so I walk back to her and give her a soft kiss on the lips.

"I trust you Ana, I'm going to work out enjoy your weekend and I'll see you later. Please be safe." I say as I walk out of the room.

I know Hunter and him asking her to dinner changes everything. He's a great dom just like I use to be but he's also a man who likes excitement and Ana is his next target. The fact that she didn't say anything makes him think we aren't serious. Fuck! I trust Ana but I also know Hunter is going to do everything he can to spend as much time as possible with her and send her flowers. I didn't want Hunter to treat this as a game and I hate that at this point I have to sit and not do anything because the more pissed off I get the more fun it will become for him. I know if Ana can handle me she can definitely handle Hunter. Fuck I'm more pissed at my past than I am at Ana, I'm pissed that she didn't tell Hunter right there and then but I know I was a bit much. I need to think of something to make Hunter back off and make him understand Ana is not like the others. I call Elliot to come over so we can have a few drinks.


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: I thought Christian needed to have a moment too!**

 **Chapter 34: Chapter 34**

 **CHRISTIAN**

Instead of working out I decide to call Flynn, since it was still going to be a while before Elliot arrived since he needed to finish up a few things. "Christian this is a nice surprise."

"That's not a professional way of answering your phone John." I say.

"Well we can't always be so uptight, there's no fun in that but I can see you are in a piss poor mood so why don't you tell me what's going on." John tells me. I tell him everything that happened from Hunter coming to Escala and then the argument with Ana after wards.

"You and Hunter obviously need a lot of work but that's a story for another day. As for you and Ana the fact that you realized you needed some space to cool down is a major improvement. Don't get me wrong I'm not saying you are right, that's something that you and Ana have to figure out but you didn't shut down on Ana. It wasn't about controlling the argument, that being said did you feel like punishing her while you were arguing?" John asks.

I stay quiet for a moment to think back to the whole time we were arguing.

"Come to think of it, it didn't cross my mind. I didn't even think about a sub or any of that shit." I say a bit confused making him laugh.

"That's a good thing Christian. You have officially had your very first argument without letting the dom in you come out. You've been making good progress Christian and I'm glad you called me to figure out those doubts you have. Give yourself some credit Christian, the fact that you reached out to Elliot is also a big step."

"What if I pushed Ana away John? I didn't give her much time to talk."

"Christian from what you tell me Ana will talk whether you let her or not. Ana was listening to what you had to say and was trying to understand what it was you were thinking. It's not a bad thing Christian, you said she knows you better than anyone which means she knew you needed space. I'm just making assumptions because I don't know Ana, I only know what you've told me about her. I would love to meet her though." I can't help but laugh because he's been mentioning it every time we talk.

"I'm trying to avoid that from happening." I say making John laugh. We talk some more and he elaborates some more about how I feel and gives me the hard truths even when I don't want to hear them.

I don't know why I didn't open up to John sooner, he really helps me get my thoughts together when I feel like I can't see straight as they say. We hang up just as Elliot walks in.

"I'm starving do you want to grab something to eat?" Elliot says as he sits down.

'We can go to the Fairmont and eat at the bar."

We get a table by the bar and we order some dinner. Elliot is looking at me and I know he's curious but I know he'll wait till I start talking.

"Tough day at work?" I ask.

"Not really just a last minute issue I had to take care of. You have these guys who think they know it all and decide they don't need to follow procedure." Elliot continues to tell me about the problem at work and how he handled it. The waiter brings us our food and refills our drinks.

"Ana and me had an argument over Hunter." I say and Elliot raises his eyebrow and waits for me to continue.

I laugh at the way he takes a bite of his steak to keep himself from asking questions. I explain to him what went on and what both Ana and I said and he continues to look at me with a smirk.

"I was so pissed and wanted to have a few drinks so I called you. I called John while I waited for you and he helped me clear my head better."

"Have you called Ana?" Elliot asks. I nod a no and he gives me a smirk.

"And no she hasn't called me but I know she was going to let me know when she arrived." I check my pocket and I realize I don't have my phone. Elliot gives me a huge smile.

"Are you waiting for her to make the first move?"

"You sound like a girl Elliot." I say.

"And you're acting like a girl." He counters making me laugh.

"Fuck you jackass." Elliot just shrugs his shoulder.

"Elliot is that all you're going to say?" I say making him laugh.

"There's nothing to say. I can get why you were jealous and why you got so pissed as a guy I get it. I'm actually in shock that you haven't demanded that I keep Hunter away from Ana." Elliot says as the waiter brings us refills.

"That was my first reaction to be honest but I do trust Ana and there's also the fact that I need to take a step back so that Hunter doesn't get to much of a thrill from pissing me off." Elliot raised his class and clings it with mine. We talk a bit more and I really do enjoy spending time with him. After a few more drinks we decide to go back to Escala. Taylor lets me know that Ana and Sawyer have arrived safely.

"Are we still on for tomorrow?" Elliot asks.

"Yes." Is all I say.

When we arrive at Escala I go to my study and grab my phone. I see that Ana called a few times and left a voice mail saying they arrived safely and for me to be safe. I can hear the sadness in her voice. I call her back but her phone goes to voice mail. I walk back to the living room where I find Elliot sitting on the couch.

"Did you talk to Ana?"

"No her phone went straight to voice mail."

"Kate and Mia's phone did too." Elliot tells me wondering why their phone would be off.

"Does Kate usually turn her phone off?" I ask.

"Not really unless we are having a date night. Maybe they are doing an official girls night. Taylor would have told us if something was wrong right?"

"Yeah but let me call Sawyer just to make sure." I say dialing his number. Sawyer answers after the fourth ring.

'Sawyer is everything alright? Why do the girls have their phones off?"

"They all decided to have a night with no interruptions so they all turned of their phones. They were about to take mine but it started ringing so I told them I needed to answer unless they all wanted us to drag them back home." I can't help but laugh.

"How's Ana?" I can't help but ask.

"She was a little down sir especially when you didn't answer. When we arrived she put on a big smile, I'm guessing to avoid any questions. She's having a good time now. I'd let you talk to her now but I don't think I'd get the phone back."

"Thanks Sawyer I'll try calling her later and don't let them get your phone." I say as we hang up.

I'm sure Sawyer feels odd because I'm usually really cold and professional with them. I tell Elliot what Sawyer told me and he laughs. We play a game of pool before heading off to bed. I leave Ana a voice mail letting her know I miss her and that I love her.


	35. Chapter 35

**A/N: I had a bit of trouble with this chapter hope you all enjoy**

 **Chapter 35: Chapter 35**

 **ANASTASIA**

I watch Christian walk out of the room. I want to go after him but I know that won't do any good. I wash my face before I leave. I decide to leave a small note on the night stand for Christian that says I love you. I walk towards the elevators where Sawyer is already waiting. We get into the SUV and start driving. Part of me was hoping that Christian would be waiting for me by the SUV but I don't blame him for wanting leave. I know it had to be hard for him to try and keep a hold of his temper as mad as he was I know he was doing his best to stay calm.

We finally arrive and I call Christian to let him know that we arrived but he doesn't answer. I try again but still nothing, as much as I feel hurt that he still doesn't want to talk to me I do my best to put my biggest smile on so Kate and Mia don't question me. After we have a late dinner we all decide to turn off our phones so we don't get distracted if the guys call. I call Christian one last time and decide to leave him a voice mail before turning off my phone.

Mia and Kate were going take Sawyer and Ryan's phones also but they weren't budging, I told the girls that they needed to stop bugging them. Luckily Sawyers phone rang and I started laughing when he told them that they were going to drag us back home if he didn't answer. Sawyer leaves the room as he answers the phone. We spent the rest of the night doing our nails and talking about the guys along with other stuff and just catching up. Around midnight we end up falling asleep.

The next morning I wake up to someone knocking on the door. I hear Kate mumble to go away like they can hear her. I go open it to find Sawyer there with three woman, he tells me that they are the masseuses. I let them in and they tell me they will set up in the living room. Mia and Kate are already in their robes, after a few minutes I join them in the living room.

"You're miles away babe is everything alright?" Kate asks.

"Yeah I just didn't realize how relaxing a massage could be but now I know why our moms like it so much." I say.

"Well relax now because tonight we are going to dance the night away." I roll my eyes making Kate and Mia laugh.

"We can dance in here." I say.

"Nope you already agreed, we aren't changing our plans, besides this place isn't going to be to crowded." Mia tells me with a huge smile.

The rest of the day goes by fast with us getting a mud bath and facials. We then watch a movie and before I know it we are getting ready to go to the club. Mia wanted to do my makeup and hair while Kate picked out a nice tight dress for me. Once we are ready we walk out to the SUV where Sawyer and Ryan are waiting for us. We get to the club which is really nice and not over crowded. I look at Kate and Mia who wink at me.

"We told you." Kate tells me as we make our way to the table. Mia orders a bottle of wine, we didn't want to get crazy drunk since we want to enjoy our night and just have fun.

After dancing a few songs we go back to the table. Kate is about to order another bottle of wine along with some water when the waitress comes by with three glasses of wine. We look at each other confused and I tell her that we didn't order these, she gives me a kind smile and she points towards the bar and tells us those men send them to us. I tell her we can't accept them but that it was a nice gesture. Kate smiles at the confused look the waitress gives us, like it was a bad thing for me to reject the drinks. The waitress brings us the bottle of wine we ordered, before she sets it on the table Sawyer is right next to her.

"I need you to remove this bottle from their tab and put it back on Miss Grey's tab." Sawyer says nodding towards the men at the bar.

"I believe these ladies made it clear they weren't interested, if they have a problem they can come talk to me. Now if you want to continue working here, I suggest next time I don't care how big of tip they give you, you need to make these ladies aware if someone is buying them a drink so they can make the choice of accepting or rejecting it. Do I make myself clear!" Sawyer says in a very firm voice that I've never heard before. I see the waitresses eyes water, but she needs to realize that it wasn't right.

"I can't believe she was just going to let us take that without telling us that they keep insisting on buying us a drink, does she not realize that she could have put us in a bad situation. What if it was someone else who wasn't as lucky as us." Kate says upset.

"We've taken care of it mam." Sawyer says and I know he's still pissed.

"Let's go dance." I say grabbing Kate and Mia's hands making them laugh. I just want to lighten the mood, and not let that waitress ruin our night. I notice Sawyer is trying to keep his distance but at the same time staying close by. Kate tells me she needs water, Mia and I are going to go with her but she tells us she'll be fine. I know Ryan is also close by so she'll be safe. The song finishes so Mia and I decide to join Kate at the table.

"Miss Grey, Miss Steele I need the two of you to stay close to me." Sawyer tells us now walking next to us in a protective stance. I see Ryan and Kate walking towards us now. Kate hands us our purses, as we are now between Sawyer and Ryan. We start walking towards the exit when two men stop right in front of us.

"You think you're too good for us?" I hear one of the men say.

The other guy is about to reach for Mia but Ryan pulls her towards him while Sawyer stands in front of us. Before I know it I'm being pulled back almost falling but Sawyer catches me. I hear Ryan say he's got Kate and Mia.

"Don't want to share your woman. We just want to show them a good time but girls like them always think they are too good." One of the guys says.

The guy who pulled me back is now standing in Sawyers face. "After we kick your ass we will teach these girls a lesson." The guy says.

"Ana don't let go of my arm and move when I move." Sawyer tells me.

He looks at Ryan who nods at him. Sawyer punches the guy hard I hear something crack, and I see the guy fall to the ground. I see the other two guys are about to come towards but Taylor grabs a hold of one of them. I see Christian pin the other guy to the ground. Sawyer turns to me and asks if I'm okay.

"You called me Ana." I say with a smile making him smile.

"I needed you to listen to me." Sawyer says.

Elliot and Ethan are now with Kate and Mia, Ryan and Taylor are taking the guys outside. As soon as Christian comes to me Sawyer goes to pick up the guy from the floor and takes him outside also. Christian hugs me tight and I hug him back.

"I've missed you." I say as he leans down to kiss me.

"Did he hurt you?" Christian says looking at my arm.

"I'm fine love, especially now that you're here." I say with a smile. We start walking towards the table.

"Weren't we leaving?" Mia asks.

"We came out here to dance with our woman and that's what we are going to do." Ethan says pulling Mia to the dance floor followed by Kate, Elliot, Christian and me.

A slow song comes on and Christian pulls me close to him as we start dancing. "I love you Ana and you need to know I do trust you." Christian whispers.

"I love you too Christian and I'm sorry for not..." I start to say when Christian leans down to kiss me not letting me finish.

"We'll deal with all this together." I pull him to me and give him a deep kiss.

"Dude go get a room." Ethan says making us laugh.

We go back to the table, we spend the rest of the night laughing and talking.


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter 36: Chapter 36**

 **ANASTASIA**

We had an amazing weekend, Christian and I definitely made up. I don't think I've ever been that sore before.

"I hope that huge smile is because of me." Christian says as he wraps his arms around me.

"Maybe." I say with a smirk.

"You are home early?" I say.

"Do you not want me here?" Christian asks pretending to be hurt.

"Of course I want you home, you can help me take care of a certain situation." I say wiggling my eyebrows.

"I'd be more than happy to help you Miss Steele." Christian says as I lead him to the bedroom. I push him on the bed and he has a huge smile.

"Where are you going?" Christian asks as I walk towards the closet.

"You see Mr. Grey, it appears when I got home today I realized that somehow clothes magically appeared in the closet." I say looking at him.

"I just thought you could use more clothes." Christian says shrugging his shoulders.

"Do you not like the clothes that I have?" I ask as he stands in front of me now.

"I love your clothes especially those sexy bra sets you wear that drive me nuts." Christian says making me laugh.

"You have great taste baby but I also know how much you hate shopping and thought that I could do this for you. Especially since you agreed to officially move in with me. You are going to need these dresses for the events we have and all that other stuff. I just figured I'd make things easier for you." I can't help but smile at how sweet that is. I give him a soft kiss.

"I know I might have gone a bit overboard but that's Kate's doing not mine." Christian says reading my mind making me laugh.

"Thank you Christian, the dinners and events didn't even cross my mind. Now that you bring it up I'm sure you can keep going alone." I say opening my eyes wide.

"Oh no my dear Anastasia, you are my girlfriend and you are stuck going to these things with me." Christian says kissing my neck making me laugh.

"We'll see." I can't help but laugh. Christian slaps my ass as I walk passed him.

"You're lucky dinners ready." Christian whispers in my ear as Gail lets us know dinner is served. I can't help but laugh making Christian smile.

"Tomorrow I have a meeting with Hunter to discuss the updates of the project since Elliot is out of town." Christian looks up at me and nods. I can see he's clenching his jaw.

"Baby it's okay to say what's on your mind. We discussed this, please don't shut down on me. I need to know what's on your mind."

"I hate the idea of you being alone with him but I know you can handle yourself." Christian reaches for my hand and kisses it.

"I won't be alone, Sawyer is going to be close by." I say making Christian smile.

We eat some desert while watching some TV. Christian answers a few emails, and reviews a few documents before we head to bed. We start walking to room when Christian's phone starts ringing.

"It's Ross, I'll make this quick." I blow him a kiss and he winks at me.

I grab a my purple lace bra and pantie set and put it on with my heals. I let my hair down and give it a little bit of a tease. I turn on a few candles and just as I'm about to lay down on the bed Christian walks in.

"Fuck!" Christian says before he kisses me roughly as he is now on top of me.

"Mm I want you so bad baby." I tell him.

I can see the hunger and passion in his eyes, he quickly strips out of his clothes and enters me making me moan in pleasure.

"You feel so good Ana." Christian says moving in a slow pace that is sweet torture. It feels so good but I want him to move faster. Christian kisses me as he keeps moving slowly. I can feel my orgasm building, I'm getting so close and so is he.

"Oh God Christian." I yell as I come shortly followed by Christian calling out my name.

"Fuck baby what was that?" Christian ask holding me close to him.

"That was pretty intense." I say kissing him softly as he smiles at me.

"I love you." Christian tells me kissing me softly, pulling me on top of him. We end up making love all night till we are exhausted.

The next morning goes by quickly. Elliot called me early to let me know he needed me to take care of some paper work he emailed me. I look at the time and realize it's almost time to meet with Hunter. I grab my purse and the folder so I can head out. I arrive at the restaurant and luckily Hunter hasn't arrived yet. I look over the paper work to update him on the progress, thankfully his building is almost done.

"Hello Ana, how are you doing?" Hunter says as he sits down.

"I'm doing great." I say shaking his hand. The waitress comes to take our order.

"First of I wanted to apologize..." Hunter starts to say.

"Hunter this is not the time or the place, it's in the past there's no need to bring it up again. Let's just say it's been forgotten and this is a work meeting nothing more." I say handing him the folder. Hunter gives me a smirk as the waitress brings us our drinks and tells us our food will be right out.

"As you can see your building shall be fully remodeled in two weeks time. It seems we are ahead of schedule."

"That's very impressive, I had asked Elliot to do his best and finish as soon as possible." Hunter tells me.

"Elliot is the best at what he does." I say. We discuss a few more things and I answer any questions he has. We actually finish just as the food comes. I didn't think we'd finish discussing everything so quick.

"Ana the food just got here lets not let it go to waist. It gives me time to think of more questions." Hunter says, it's like he knew I was thinking of leaving. We start eating our food and Hunter keeps looking at me, I know he wants to say something.

"Hunter just say whatever it is you've been holding in." I say giving him a stern look making him laugh.

"Ana aren't you curious at all?" I look at Hunter confused not sure what he's talking about. I mean I have an idea but I'm not going to let him know that. I shake my head letting him know to explain what he's talking about.

"After everything Christian and I said, you aren't curious about our past or how our twisted friendship was? Don't you want to know about how I left the lifestyle and tried to do normal but ended up going back?" Hunter asks and it's like he's getting upset that I show him nothing. I drink my tea before responding.

"Unless Christian already told you about my past." Hunter says and I just smile at him.

"I won't lie. I was a bit curious about your friendship with Christian but he was open about it and answered my questions even when it was hard for me to hear, he was still honest." Hunter raises his eyebrow like he's in shock at what I just said.

"If you know Christian at all, you would know that he would never betray your trust, it's not the kind of person he is. Before you say anything, yes he can make dumb decisions just like you did but who doesn't." I say.

"I didn't know that Christian was so open about his lifestyle and past, he's always been so private about it just like me. To be honest I don't believe he's being completely honest. There's no way in hell you would still be with him if you knew every sorted detail." Hunter seems like he's thinking about something but then he smiles up at me.

"I take it you are curious about me trying to do the normal relationship and why I would be so sure just like me Christian will eventually crave the lifestyle again. Come Ana are you going to tell me you have no doubts at all." I know Hunter is waiting to get a reaction out of me but I just look up at him and give him my best smile.

"Since we're being so honest here, you should know that it doesn't matter if you believe Christian is being completely honest with me or not. What matters is I trust him enough to believe that he is telling me everything, by the look you're giving me if Christian is keeping something from me I take it, it has to do with your past which is understandable that he wouldn't tell me because it's not his story to tell. Just so you know I do know every sorted detail and the reason I am still with him is because it's part of his past. Hunter when your in love with someone you love all of them good and bad." I say as Hunter studies me.

"Christian played a big part in all this Ana and I think you should know about it." Hunter says after a while.

"If Christian thinks I should know I trust him enough to tell me. As far as your back story I'm not curious and I don't need to know because I'm not interested in you so there's no need for me to ask you. I'm in love with Christian and there's nothing you can say that will change what we have. It doesn't matter if you think I'm his sub or if you believe that I'm more to him because I know what he and I have is real. I know you are dying to tell me about your past but I don't want to hear it besides I'm done with my lunch so I will be leaving now." I say leaving him stunned. Sawyer has a smile as he follows me out.

"You left him speechless and I'm sure he got the message loud and clear." Sawyer says as we get into the SUV.

"But?" I say with a smile.

"I think in a sense he's more intrigued by you. You were calm and didn't react which was shocking to him but I think at this point he's going to test how real you and Christian are." Sawyer tells me.

"That's not good." I say. Sawyer nods in agreement.

We get back to the office and I call Christian. "Hey baby."

"Did you even let the phone ring." I say laughing.

"Of course it rang otherwise I wouldn't have answered it." Christian says and I know he's smiling.

I ask him about his day and then I tell him what happened during lunch and I know he's surprised at how I handled it.

"Ana don't take this the wrong way but you had asked me about his past." Christian says and I knew he was going to ask.

"Not because I'm interested Christian I was more curious as to what part Jacqueline played in it."

"That makes sense. Are you curious to know what my part in it was?" Christian asks.

"Curiosity killed the cat my dear." I say laughing.

"Ana, I'm being serious."

"Christian of course I'm curious because it makes for a good story line." I can hear Christian laugh.

"You always did love your books."

"I still do. Christian it's not because I believe Hunter or care for him. If you played a part in it it's part of your past. I love you and it's not going to make a difference. If you don't think it's important for me to know then I trust your judgment. I haven't asked you about it because I haven't thought about it and today with Hunter I figured it would be best to get it over with and not give him more opportunities." I say and I can hear Christian sigh.

"I love you more and I'm glad your lunch went really great. I'm about to go into a meeting right now but we'll talk more when we get home." Christian tells me.

"Okay enjoy the rest of the your day and don't work to hard." I say making him laugh.

"Ana?"

"Yessss?"

"I love you." Christian says as he hangs up.

I hope he believes me. I decided to get to work to try and beat Christian home, maybe I can help Gail make a special dessert.


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter 37: Chapter 37**

 **CHRISTIAN**

I hang up with Ana and can't help but smile. Sawyer had already updated Taylor on some of what was going on, as well as describing Hunter's look when Ana walked away. I need to make her Mrs. Grey very soon. I take out the ring I had bought a while back but just haven't been able to purpose, there's been so much going on and there's also the fact that I don't want Ana to feel pressured. Andrea lets me know that Hunter is here to see me, I tell her to let him in

"What do you want Hunter?" I say as he sits down in front of my desk.

"It seems you really have Ana believing you truly love her. I mean I get that you were honest about your past and the lifestyle you lived, shit I expected you to learn from my fuck up but I'm 100% sure that you left out a very important part. Does she really believe she's the only girl you've ever loved? Have you really been fully honest Christian because it seemed to me Ana doesn't know that part?"

"Hunter you know very well it was just to piss you off. You were the one who was head over heels for her" I say as confident as possible.

"I'm right then Ana doesn't know. You just made my fucking day Christian."

"Ana knows me very well Hunter, I love her more than life itself. You can try and do everything in your power to come between us but it won't work. What Ana and I have is real just like what you had with Serena." I say looking into his eyes, hoping he realizes how serious I am.

Shit by the look on his face I just pissed him off which was not my intention, I forgot how hard of a topic this was for him.

"Hunter, I didn't mean to bring it up I just want you to understand what I feel for Ana." I say and I can see him clenching his fists.

"You want me to understand what you feel for Ana is real, the way you understood my feelings for Serena? If I remember correctly, you didn't think it was real. As a matter of fact, I remember after Jacqueline pulled her little stunt you told me I should go to a club and make sure I really want this relationship. So tell me Christian have you gone to the club to make sure you don't have any doubts?" Hunter tells me in a mocking tone.

"Hunter I am truly sorr..."

"Now you're sorry. You think that because you helped me in trying to find Serena it makes things better because let me tell you it sure as hell doesn't. You were the one who fucking told me to tell Serena everything, that if I truly loved her I would be completely honest but what does that say about you? You didn't even tell Ana about Serena. You knew very well I was scared to lose her that's why I didn't tell her anything. At the end I lost her anyway thanks to Jacqueline and then instead of helping me out you sided with the bitch, but you don't have an excuse especially when Ana knows all your dirty secrets and is still with you." Hunter tells me.

"It's part of your story Hunter, I wasn't going to tell her when it's not mine to tell. I didn't think it was important besides I never loved Serena it was all part of the game." I say.

"Bullshit! Christian that's total bullshit and you know it. You could have told Ana about how you charmed Serena without telling her the whole story and you know it. But you didn't because I bet you have Ana believing she's the first girl you are trying to do more with, that all you've had are subs." Hunter says and before I can say anything Taylor rushes into the office and I know this can't be good by the look on his face.

I forget about Hunter and ask Taylor what happened.

"It's Miss Steele sir. I've called the office and asked the receptionist to find Sawyer, and the last time she saw Ana she was going to the ladies room. When I asked her if she noticed anything odd she told me that when she came in this morning she noticed the cleaning crew was new but didn't think much of it." Taylor says.

I know he's pissed about that. Hunter looks up at me and I can tell he's worried, I also notice that Taylor is studying Hunter's reaction.

"Fuck Taylor is she alright? What the fuck happened?" I ask grabbing my coat. I don't know where I'm going but fuck I can't stay here.

"I tried Sawyer's cell but there's no answer." Taylor tells me and I know he wants to say more but he won't because Hunter is here. Fucking hell, I walk out of the office and tell Andrea to cancel my meetings.

"I'm going with you Christian." Hunter says getting into the elevator with us.

"It's not necessary Hunter." I say.

"We know what Jacqueline is capable of and Ana doesn't deserve that. I owe you that much for protecting Serena." I look at him hesitantly not sure if I can trust him.

"Follow us in your car." I say as Taylor and I get into the SUV.

"Sir who ever is behind this isn't aware that Ryan is following them, I don't even think they realize that he was there. By the streets they are taking it seems they are heading to Jacqueline's house. As far as he knows she was unconscious but she didn't appear to be hurt. Ryan noticed two men walking out to a car and he had never seen them before. He took a closer look and noticed they had the uniform of the cleaning crew Elliot uses. One of them opened back door while the other guy had Ana over his shoulder."

"Fuck Taylor, they must have known Elliot wasn't going to be there." I say as my phone rings.

"Christian have you found her yet?" Elliot says and I can hear the worry on his voice.

"No but Ryan is following them which is a good thing. It seems like they are heading to Jacqueline's place. Is there any word on Sawyer?" I ask.

"Yeah we found him in the ladies bathroom, he was hit over the head pretty hard. The ambulance is checking him out right now. He's conscience now and he insists he wants to go look for Ana but I told him he needs to go to the hospital. Claire called the ambulance then she called me, fuck Christian she should have called me to confirm if there were going to be any changes with the cleaning crew. Especially if I hadn't called her to tell her of any changes." I can hear the guilt in Elliot's voice.

"Elliot it's no ones fault, we didn't expect this to happen. Hell we prepared for pretty much every scenario except this." I say as I get another call, I see that it's Ana's name on my screen.

"Someone's calling me, I'll call you back." I say.

Elliot asks me to let him know as soon as I know where Ana is so he can meet us there. I tell him be ready to call the police just encase. At this point I don't know what Jacqueline wants and I wouldn't want to make her angry causing her to hurt Ana.

"Ana?" I ask confused.

"Sorry to disappoint you darling but I had to use your little pets phone since you don't answer my calls and refuse to see me." Jacqueline says.

"Where's Ana?" I ask.

"Relax darling she's a little tied up at the moment. I think it's about time we talk, so why don't you stop by and we can have a drink."

"I'm close by, I'll be there." I say hanging up not giving her a chance to say anything.

I call Hunter to meet us at Jacqueline's. Taylor tells Ryan to keep on eye on open, he then explains that Hunter is with us but to keep an eye out because he's not to be trusted at this point, and not to move till we give him the go ahead. We walk up to the door and Jacqueline opens it with a huge smile.

"Hunter it's been a long time, I'm surprised to see you here with Christian of all people." Jacqueline says as she lets us in.

We follow her to the living room and sit on the couches. I look around for Ana but don't see her anywhere. I notice Hunter is also looking around.

"Don't worry Ana will be joining us shortly but first we should have a drink." Jacqueline pours us some scotch and brings it to us. Hunter looks at it suspiciously, while Jacqueline just smiles at us.

"You sure got here fast." Jacqueline tells me and I know she suspects that I had another guy on Ana.

"We were on our way to my mothers house, to pick up a file Elliot had left which Hunter needed, since he couldn't get a hold of Ana he asked me to pick it up." I say looking her straight in the eyes.

As much as I want to ask her to show me Ana, I know I have to stay calm or else she'll make this longer than necessary.

"It's not like you to just be so calm if Ana hasn't answered." Jacqueline is trying to get a reaction out of me.

"Ana was suppose to be in a meeting so neither of us thought much about it, besides Sawyer would have called if anything would have happened. I wouldn't have thought he'd be unavailable. Do you have him here as well?" I say.

"Do you really care? Have you gone that weak that you care about your staff?" Jacqueline asks.

"You should know better than that Jacqueline, I need to know in order to fire his ass for letting something happen to Ana." I say in my dom voice. I can see she's believing it.

"It's good to see that there's still hope for you." I take a sip from the glass and Hunter studies me.

"What's wrong Hunter? Would you prefer something else to drink?" Jacqueline asks with a smirk.

He shakes his head then take a gulp.

"Now for the fun part." Jacqueline says just as a guy walks in with Ana over his shoulders. I can see her hands are tied and the tape on her mouth. I stand up but Jacqueline tells me to stay put or else. The guy puts Ana on a chair and ties her to it.

"Is that really necessary?" I ask.

I can see that Taylor is pissed. I want to punch that guy in the face for the way he's treating her but I know I can't react because it will be worse.

"Is that necessary Jacqueline?"

"You're little tart is quite the fighter, so yes this is necessary. It feels just like old times don't you think. It's a bit of daja vu." Jacqueline says with a huge smile.

"No games Jacqueline tell me what you want." I say in my dom voice which makes her smile even bigger.

"There's no fun in that, besides shouldn't we talk about old times at least till our guest wakes up."

"Cut the bullshit Jacqueline I need to get back to work, why don't you tell you puppet over here what you want so we can get out of here." Hunter says pointing at me.

"It's good to see you haven't changed Hunter. I mean after Sherry or whatever her name is I thought you were a complete loss. The so called love of your life or wait was she yours Christian. If I remember correctly you had also loved her." Jacqueline says walking towards Ana.

"It's nice of you to finally wake up. We were just talking about Sherry the woman who stole Hunter and Christian's heart. You should have seen both of them trying to conquer her heart it was quite pathetic if you ask me." Jacqueline tells her.

I look over at Ana who looks hurt and confused by what Jacqueline just said.

"Jacqueline you know very well her name is Serena, if you are going to mention her get her fucking name right." Hunter says clenching his fist.

"I can't believe that you are still affected by that girl. The first chance she had she ran for the hills, never looking back. Not that I blame the poor girl, once she knew your dark secret and the way she saw you lose your temper it was priceless." Jacqueline says.

"Fuck you Jacqueline for ruining my life." Hunter says and I know he wants to launch at her and I don't blame him but he holds back.

"At least Ana here is stronger, she's stuck by Christian even after he told her everything. I can understand you being okay with the things I introduced him to but to know that you aren't the first girl he fell in love with must be hard."

"That's enough Jacqueline! It's not true." I say as Jacqueline looks at me then at Ana who has a hurt look in her eyes making Jacqueline smile. I keep looking at Ana but she won't make eye contact with me.

"Oh dear did you not know about Serena. It seems you were kept in the dark just like she was, it's like we are reliving that day all over again. I didn't even plan this out but it's perfect. I mean it's not exactly the same because you dear know more than Serena did. Christian and Hunter you two seem to be much more calmer than before. I have to wonder did Serena mean more to you than Ana? I mean both of you were ready to attack me as soon as you saw here and she wasn't as tied up as Ana is."

Fuck! I'm about to launch at her but Taylor holds me back.


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter 38: Chapter 38**

 **A/N: I'm so sorry for not updating sooner, I've had a few things going on and I've also been having trouble with where I want this to go next. I hope you enjoy!**

 **CHRISTIAN**

"Oh dear was Ana not aware of what happened. I was under the impression that you told her everything, why wouldn't you tell her about Serena is the memory too painful for you. I don't blame you after all she did pick Hunter." Jacqueline says as Ana keeps looking at her.

"Cut the crap Jacqueline and tell us what you want so we can get out of here." Hunter says.

"I just want Ana to know all the facts, she deserves to know just like your fiancé. That way she can make the right choice. After all isn't that how all this works. You have to be honest and open." Jacqueline says in a mocking tone.

"Untie her now Jacqueline!" I shout making her laugh. I look at Taylor to call the cops but Jacqueline stops him.

"If you want Ana to remain unharmed you won't be calling for back up. My men will do so much damage to Ana before either of you can do anything, and by the time the cops come in you'll be lucky if she's still alive." Jacqueline says as more men come into the room.

The one that is next to Ana pulls her hair causing her to whimper since her mouth is taped. I grab the guy by the throat and Jacqueline tells him to let Ana's hair go.

"Christian let go of him or else there will be more done to Ana. He was just showing you how serious I am if any of you try anything. Think about it while you, Hunter and Taylor try to fight off my other guys, this one is very fond of Ana, and will be having his way with her. There's no way you'll get to her without getting seriously hurt. You should be thankful that she's been safe this whole time so don't test me." Jacqueline says.

"Jacqueline at least take the tape off." I say trying not to show how much of what she said affected me

"I guess since you did show up I can do that but as for untying her that won't happen because then she might want to walk out making my guys use some force and since this just got interesting, I think I should tell her a story about two men who fell in love with the same girl." Jacqueline says.

"Leave it alone Jacqueline, you already ruined my life there's no need to do the same to Ana." Hunter says which surprised me because he actually sounds sincere. I notice Ana looks towards him which pisses me off.

"You have a soft spot for Ana. Is it because she reminds you of Serena? I mean they do look alike. I'm sure that's the real reason Christian is fighting so hard to be with Ana. Wouldn't you agree Hunter?"

"Before I continue with my story you should know some history with these two. Ana and Christian have known each other for years and I've always known they shared a special connection. Ana was so in love with Christian and she always fought hard for him but he turned his back on her. At first he kept Ana at a distance but still kept her close but when I simply suggested that he make a choice he didn't hesitate to turn his back on her, to be honest I didn't have to ask twice. As much as I was happy it surprised me that he gave in so easily, he didn't even fight me on it just accepted it." I can see Ana's eyes are watery now. I don't need Ana to second guess my feeling for her, she's the only one I've ever loved. Serena was just a game to me, a way of pissing Hunter off.

"Enough with this shit. I'm here just like you wanted, now let Ana go and we can talk." I say with pleading eyes.

"It's not that simple. You see when I wanted to talk you didn't have time all because of Ana, so now you will listen to me." Jacqueline says and I notice one of the men looking at Ana like she's a piece of meat.

"My men are just waiting for one of you to try something so they can have their fun with your sweet girlfriend." Jacqueline says.

"We won't do anything just keep your men from touching her." I say clenching my fists.

Even if I have Ryan come in who knows what these guys are capable of. By the look on Taylor's face he is planning something which makes me feel a little better.

"We'll play your game Jacqueline no need for the dramatics" Hunter says.

Fuck I can't believe how weak I feel not knowing what to do. I realize now that Ana and Flynn are completely right, no matter what Jacqueline always finds a way for me to submit to her even when I don't want too. I turn to look at Hunter and he gives me a look telling me go along with it. I don't know if I can trust him or not but I think he really doesn't want Ana to get hurt.

"That wasn't so hard now was it?" Jacqueline says and I just roll my eyes.

"Now Christian was with Ana celebrating her birthday where she gave him her virginity." Jacqueline starts saying which shocks me because I never told her anything, I can see Ana look up at her then to me.

"It shouldn't surprise you Ana, I mean he always told me everything do you really think he would keep that a secret." Jacqueline says grabbing Ana's chin tight.

"I never told you jack shit Jacqueline." I look at Ana who has tears running down her cheeks.

"Ana I swear I never told her anything."

"I always did like when you got upset Christian it was such a turn on. I'm sure you can remember how good it felt to get pissed off before you would whip me then fuck me for hours." Jacqueline says.

"Fuck you Jacqueline! That was back then while you were still training me, besides you know as well as I do that it took a lot of work for you to get me hard." I tell her and she smiles.

"Ana did you know that the next morning I told him how I had a sub ready for him and he jumped at the chance without hesitation once again acting like nothing had happened between him and you. I didn't even have to ask him to stay away from you that time, he did it all on his own. It was obvious you didn't satisfy him my dear Ana. I mean he didn't even wait to be with that sub, he did it as soon as we left after breakfast." Jacqueline looks directly at Ana with a huge smirk.

Taylor goes towards Ana and wipes the tears away, one of the guys tries to block Taylor but Jacqueline tells him to let it be, that Taylor knows better than to try something. I want nothing more than to be able to hold Ana but I know Jacqueline will physically hurt her if I get anywhere near her.

"You two have a history?" Hunter says in barely a whisper.

"You are full of shit Jacqueline. That is not how it happened and you know it" I say ignoring Hunter's question.

"I'll give you a bit of the highlights on how Christian and Hunter met Serena." Jacqueline says ignoring me.

"What's the point in all this Jacqueline? You aren't going to gain anything out of this." I say as she refills her glass.

"I agree Jacqueline it's obvious Ana trust Christian, she's not going to leave him. Just tell him what you want and let her go." Hunter says in his dom voice.

"You don't have to be here." Jacqueline tells Hunter.

"I need that file Jacqueline, it's important and they are the only ones who can get it for me. You want Christian he's here so let Ana go." Hunter says.

"You've waited this long a little longer won't hurt you Hunter." Just then the doorbell rings.

"For Ana's sake it better not be the cops or one of your men." Jacqueline says pissed.

She nods towards the man next to Ana who grabs her by the neck. Taylor tries to stop him but he only gets punched by one of the other guys.

"Tell Taylor to back off or else Christian, I won't warn you again." Jacqueline says more pissed off as she walks towards the door.

"Jacqueline there's no need for your guy to hurt Ana. We don't even know who's at the door, I just rushed over here there was no time to plan anything." I say.

Jacqueline tells the guy to let Ana go.

"Elliot?" I hear Jacqueline say.

"I saw Hunter and Christian's car out here which is surprising after everything. I came to give Hunter the file since he hasn't pick it up yet." Elliot says in a firm tone.

"I can give it to him." Jacqueline says.

"I'd rather give it to him myself if you don't mind. Privacy and all that" Elliot says walking past her. I can see he's pissed when he sees Ana tied to the chair, he turns to look at me then Hunter.

"What the fuck!" Elliot says.

"Jacqueline no!" I yell trying to get to him but she has already hit Elliot over the head causing him to fall to the ground.

"He'll be fine, I just can't have him causing trouble, you should actually be thanking me otherwise Ana would be with my men right now." Jacqueline says handing the folder to Hunter.

"It seems you were telling the truth about the file. I guess you really aren't up to something." Jacqueline tells me.

I'm confused as to how Elliot knew about the fake file but it might be part of whatever Taylor is planning.

"Tie him up to a chair as well, things just got even better." Jacqueline says.

"Don't hurt Elliot, I'm sure he was just worried." Ana says.

Jacqueline laughs then whispers to Ana making her close her eyes and I see more tears fall. Ana then looks at me then back to Jacqueline. I can see Taylor tense up and it can't be good.

 **ANASTASIA**

"I will keep you and Elliot alive as long as you cooperate. You have no idea how much I want to torture you before ending your life and trust me I will make sure you I have my way and as for Elliot he's just a bonus prize but I won't hurt him unless I have to. I can always plead insanity and I'm sure I'd get off easy again. You know Christian is just holding back because he knows that my men can do more damage to you before anyone can safe you. You messed with the wrong person Anastasia and you will pay dearly but anyway, the fun will start in just a bit. Christian is going to show you his dominate side then you'll understand how much he truly enjoys it. I'm going to make him punish you so he can remember how good it feels, maybe I'll let Hunter join in on the fun." I look towards Christian, I can see how worried he looks. As much as what Jacqueline has said hurts I also know she's twisting it to sound bad but I also can't pretend that there has to be some truth to it **.**


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter 39: Chapter 39**

 **a/n: I did this in a rush I'm sorry for all the mistakes, I hope you all enjoy!**

 **ANASTASIA**

Jacqueline grabs my chin forcing me to look at her, I can feel Taylor tense up but he stays in place and I know it's because he doesn't want to be forced to leave my side.

"Maybe you'll walk out of here alive but trust me dear you will never be the same and that is only the beginning because you can bet I will kill you. Jacqueline clears her throat and continues talking as if she didn't just threaten me again.

"I sent pictures to Serena with a letter saying if she wanted to know what it was Hunter was hiding from her to come see me. I must admit it took her about two days before she came to me." I can see Hunter looks shocked, I take it he thought she came the same day she got them.

"I think Serena wanted to give Hunter a chance to explain things himself but since he didn't budge she finally came to me. Long story short eventually Christian and Hunter showed up and were ready to kill me, especially when Hunter saw that Serena was crying. I only told her the truth nothing more."

"You made fucking sure Serena thought I was still in the lifestyle Jacqueline!" I can see Christian holding him back.

"I want Hunter to tell me about his relationship with Serena." I say surprising them all.

By the smile on Jacqueline's face I can see she's impressed not that I care. Christian gives me a questioning look.

"Hunter you heard Ana." Jacqueline says as she sits down on her chair.

"It all started out as a game, both Christian and I were physically attracted to her. We both hoped that she was a sub, and we were going to see which one of us could get her to sign the contract. It's what me and Christian did sometimes, it's stupid and childish but we liked the challenge. Eventually we sat close to her at the restaurant the funny thing is when I looked into her eyes, I got nervous which has never happened to me. Christian noticed it and of course he had his fun with it. He introduced himself first then he told her my name. She smiled at us and told us her name was Serena, then she went back to typing away at her laptop. This intrigued us so we made conversation with her and asked her to join us at first she was hesitant but then we promised her that the owners of the restaurant knows us and she wasn't in danger she finally said yes." I can see that Hunter still loves her by the way he smiles just mentioning her.

"We started seeing each other and Christian of course tagged along a few times just to piss me off. Christian went out to a few dinners with Serena, sending her flowers and all that since I hadn't make anything official. We were just barley dating in a way. I say dinners because at the end we found out she only agreed to go out with Christian to find out more about me. Christian at one point kissed her to convince her that he wanted to be with her, trying to convince her that he was the better choice. After that day I made things official with Serena by asking her to be mine, it turned out she wasn't a sub and didn't know anything about the lifestyle till Jacqueline informed her of it all." Hunter gives Jacqueline a death glare.

Christian is looking at my reaction when I hear that he kissed Serena, at this point I don't know how I feel.

"I gave up being a dom so that I can be with Serena, and there were times when I was tempted to go to the club but at the end of the day when I went home to her it was all forgotten. We had a few arguments because Serena knew I was hiding something and she'd always ask me to open up to her and tell her but I always blew it off telling her I was afraid to lose her or I distract her by seducing her which usually worked. We had been seeing each other for a year and living together for about five months, I decided to propose to her because I realized that I wanted her in my life forever. I could see myself growing old with her, I wasn't sure about having kids but I knew that we could deal with that when and if the time came." I can hear Hunters voice breaking. I give him a sympathetic look.

"The night before Serena wasn't herself, I tried talking to her but she said she was just tired. I tried to get her to talk to me but she kept saying she'd be fine she just needed to rest. I had a feeling there was more to it but I didn't want to push her. I had planned to get home early and surprise her but when I walked in I could tell something wasn't right, she was suppose to be off from work that day. I looked around our bedroom and saw the pictures. I ran out of the house and went straight to Christian's office. I figured he'd know where she was since they had a pretty close friendship. I kept calling her but she wouldn't answer me." Hunter sits down but I can feel the anger radiating off of him.

"I tried calling Serena as well but she didn't answer me either. I told Hunter I hadn't heard from her, he then told me about the pictures and I decided to call Jacqueline who told me that Serena was there with her. I hung up and we drove right over here." Christian says.

"We wanted to get Serena out of here but by the look on her face Jacqueline had already told her about my past. I had asked Serena to let me explain but she looked at me and asked if it was true. I told her it was but it was in the past, before I can say anything else Jacqueline stepped in and made it seem like I was still in the lifestyle." Hunter tightens his fist and Jacqueline just smiles.

"I only pointed out that you met with an ex sub, your the one who forgot to mention that little detail. You can't blame me if Serena didn't want to hear you out after that." Jacqueline says refilling her cup.

"You wouldn't shut up Jacqueline, as much as I tried to shut you out, you kept pushing. That sub wanted to know if I knew about any dom's I could recommend to her, it was not because I wanted to get back in the game." Christian grabs Hunter's shoulder trying to calm him.

"Enough of this sob story, I destroyed your life by giving your pathetic fiance the truth which she couldn't handle."

"That's fucking enough Jacqueline! Enough with the insults." Christian says making Jacqueline laugh.

"You see Ana how he can't stand me talking about his beloved Serena."

"Quit your shit Jacqueline, let Ana go! You aren't going to gain anything with this bullshit." Christian says walking towards me when one of the men next to me pulls out a knife. Taylor is next to me guarding me, the guy tries to punch Taylor but he won't budge."

"Enough! Christian do you really want to play with Ana's life?" Jacqueline asks as Christian goes back to where Hunter is.

"I want to know how Christian helped break Serena and Hunter up." I say hoping it will distract Jacqueline.

"Why don't you tell her Christian." Jacqueline looks at Christian but Hunter starts talking first.

"Serena looked at me with tears in her eyes and asked me if I still craved the lifestyle, at the time I didn't know how to answer it because I didn't so much crave it but I missed a few things from it. So I answered her by saying I only want a life with her, it's all I need." Hunter says surprising me.

Christian looks at me. "Serena asked me if Hunter was really out of the lifestyle, I told her he's been faithful to her and has not practiced it since they've started dating." Christian takes a deep breath.

"Serena made Christian swear to be honest, if he ever really loved her like he claimed he would tell her the truth." Hunter says closing his eyes.

"She wasn't happy with Hunter's answer so she asked if he still craved it, and if I truly believe they could live a happy life without him ever wanting to go back to it." Christian said closing his eyes realizing how he messed up.

"I told her I couldn't see myself living without being in the BDSM lifestyle, and that there have been a few times when Hunter had wanted to go to the club but never went, instead he went back home to her." Christian says.

"I wanted to explain to Serena what I really felt, I begged her to let me take her somewhere where we could talk this out and I would tell her everything." Hunter says.

"I then told Serena that she would be stupid to believe anything Hunter would say because he was good at getting his way. He's a dom it comes natural to him. This is the best part, I told Serena I could train her to be his sub, and she would never have to worry about him going somewhere else when he'd get bored. I showed her my things in the basement. I told her I would show her how much it turned Hunter on to punish her if she disobeyed him. I grabbed the whip and before I could do anything Hunter had his hand around my neck, while Christian was guarding Serena." Jacqueline says rubbing her neck with a smile.

"I told Jacqueline she would never see the light of day if she ever hurt or punished Serena in any way. Jacqueline laughed and said she always liked it rough. I grabbed the whip away from her and Serena yelled my name. I felt embarrassed because she looked at me like she didn't recognize me." Hunter says.

"I told Serena that this is how we do things, that I was alright but at least she got to see Hunter in action. If she was ready to deal with all of him then she should marry him." Jacqueline says looking proud.

"Serena gave me back the ring and told me not to look for her, then she walked out. Christian went after her but she wouldn't let him talk either saying he was as bad as I was and she never wanted anything to do with either of us." Hunter tells me.

"Now sweet Ana, it's time for you to see the true side of Christian just like Serena saw Hunter's true side." Jacqueline says as one of her men starts untying me. Elliot starts waking up and looks confused.

"Just in time for you to see your brother in action Elliot dear." Jacqueline says pulling his hair making him look up at her. Jacqueline nods at the man who untied me and he stands me up.

Taylor is by my side not budging when the guy pushes him, I'm just thankful Jacqueline hasn't made him move away from me.

"Tie her to the bench." Jacqueline says turning to Christian who has a worried and pissed off look. I can see that he hates not being able to do anything. I look at Taylor who just nods reassuringly to me. I look at Elliot who seems to have dozed off again. We get close to some wooden looking bench type of thing and the man pushes me down making me lose some breath when my stomach hits the wood.

"Are you alright Ms Steele?" Taylor asks and I nod a yes and I can hear the frustration in his voice of not being able to do anything.

"Always the caring body guard. Aren't you suppose to be protecting Christian?" Jacqueline hisses but Taylor doesn't bother looking at her.

The man pulls my hands forward, kneeling down to tie my hands on some ring looking thing attached to the floor but before he can actually tie me down Taylor yells now, and knocks the guy over the head with his gun and pulls me behind me blocking me from everyone.

"No matter what happens you stay behind me. I'm going to try to get you to Christian where it's safer." Taylor tells me. I see Elliot is fighting with some of Jacqueline's men, I didn't notice when he got lose. Christian is almost towards where Taylor and I are but stops when Jacqueline is pointing her gun at Taylor.

"You stupid fool, you are willing to die for that little gold digging slut. Do you realize she's going to die any way, after my men have their way with her of course." Jacqueline says.

"Jacqueline put the gun down." Christian says walking closer to us.

"I'm doing you a favor Christian, you'll be thanking me in no time." Jacqueline says as she pulls the trigger and Taylor grabs me and we fall to the floor. He asks me if I'm alright.

"I am but Taylor are you alright?" I ask worried.

"Fuck!" I hear Christian says. Taylor gets up and looks over to Christian who got shot in the arm, I run towards him not caring where Jacqueline is.

"Taylor I'm fine, just help Hunter with Jacqueline." Christian says and I turn to look at Hunter holding Jacqueline down on the floor as cops are coming in.

"I thought you said she'd never hurt you." I say trying to stop the tears from falling. Christian tries to give me his best smile.

"I got in the way luckily her aiming is horrible."

"We need to get you to the hospital." I say, helping him up.

"How did you all plan this?" I ask.

"As soon as Ryan told us what was going on we called Elliot to help us out. He was wearing a wire the hole time, but we were pretty much playing it by ear. We needed to figure out the perfect time to make our move or it could have gone all wrong, Jacqueline wasn't playing about letting her men do whatever they wanted with you." Christian says getting pissed. I nod in understanding. They put Christian in the ambulance and tell him that he's lucky the bullet only graced his arm, but he will need a few stitches so they still need to take him to the hospital. Taylor, Elliot and Hunter tells us they'll meet us there.

"Thank you Hunter for your help." Christian says.

"I couldn't let Jacqueline destroy what you all had and before you say anything, I only wanted to pass you off and see for myself how much you truly loved her but now I see that you are willing to take a bullet for her which I think counts as true love." Hunter says making us laugh.

"I'm sorry Hunter, I really am. I should have known better." Christian apologizes.

"It's in the past we both fucked up in our own ways, and I'm the one who chose to shut her out. Now get your ass to the hospital you big baby." Hunter says.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter 40: Chapter 40**

 **ANASTASIA**

After they cleaned up Christian they took us to a room. Taylor, Hunter and Elliot walked in to check on us. I gave them all a hug. I don't know why I started to cry when I hugged Taylor and I know he was trying to hold in his own tears. Christian kept looking at us but I couldn't help but think that Taylor could have died because of me, even though he told me it wasn't my fault. I sat next to Christian on the bed and I knew there was so much he wanted to say in the way he held me close to him. I gave him a kiss to let him know how much I still love him.

They all left when a doctor came in to check on Christian. The doctor told Christian he was going to give him something for the pain even though he kept insisting he didn't need it. I couldn't help but laugh when he started dozing off because of the pain killer, even though he kept trying to fight it. He made me promise not to leave his side which was so cute. After about an a few hours Taylor walked with some food and a change of clothes for me.

"Taylor how's Sawyer?" I ask.

"He's doing great, he can't wait to leave the hospital and get back to work." Taylor tells me.

"Tell him not to worry about working just yet, and make sure he knows that I know he did what he could to keep me safe." I say knowing that Sawyer is beating himself up about not being able to keep Jacqueline away.

"I'm sure he'll believe it more if he hears it from you." Taylor says with a smile.

"Taylor I'll never be able to repay you for risking your life, I know you would have done the same for Christian..." I try to keep my voice from cracking.

"Ana I would do it again over and over again. Christian and I knew that bitch wouldn't hurt him, and our main priority was you. Christian only got hurt because the dummy jumped in front of us, but trust me I felt like shooting him myself for putting himself in danger like that. It wasn't suppose to be any part of the plans even if we were winging it." Taylor says making me laugh.

"Good night Taylor and get some rest." I say as he walks out. Hunter walks in shortly after. I'm now laying next to Christian.

"How are you doing Ana?"

"I'm good. I'm so happy no one got hurt. Thank you for being there for us, I know it couldn't be easy especially given yours and Christian's past. I'm sorry for what happened to you and Serena." I say.

"I could only blame myself Ana, besides it was to safe you. I wasn't going to let the bitch hurt you, especially when I knew she was willing to do more harm to you than anything else. Serena was never in danger like you were. The way Jacqueline would look at you anyone could see it. As for me and Christian we have a love and hate friendship."

"Have you ever tried looking for her again?" Hunter nods no.

"I moved back to Seattle hoping that maybe one day she will come looking for me not that it would be hard to find me anyway but I felt like maybe I would make it easier for her. Two years it a long time so

I'm sure she's already moved on."

"I tried moving on in a sense but I couldn't Hunter, and I'm sure she still loves you. It had to be overwhelming for her. Not that it's an excuse but she probably couldn't think clearly and then to have Jacqueline make things sound worse than what they are couldn't have been easy for her." I say thinking back to the things she said to me. I look over at Christian and grab his hand needed to feel him.

"I don't blame Serena for leaving, and a part of me wished Christian would have lied for me but I know that at the time he thought he was doing me a favor. I was pissed at him and didn't want him to be

happy. Don't get me wrong I still think you are too good for him but I can see the love you two share, it's just like me and Serena the difference is that I kept secrets from her. At the end she thought she didn't know me, that I was just playing with her but the truth is she knew the real me, the me I forgot about. When I got heart broken by my high school sweet heart. She cheated on me with some jock and we had our whole future planned. I swore I wouldn't do the love thing again and eventually got mixed into this BDSM lifestyle which I enjoyed but with Serena she showed me how to live again and open up."

"Hunter I believe she'll come back into your life again. I also think she only ran because Jacqueline scared her not so much because of you." Hunter gives me a weak smile and for a moment I see hope.

"What was her last name?"

"Harp." Hunter tells me.

"That's a nice last name." I tell him.

"Ana you need to know that Christian didn't love Serena. I mean he wasn't in love with her, he did care for her and loved her but more as a friend or a sister. I know that sounds twisted but the more he got to know her the more the attraction went away and he saw her a different way. When he kissed her it was more to piss me off and now that I think about it, I believe he did it so that I could stop being a pansy and admit my feelings for her."

"Thank you Hunter." I say giving him a smile, knowing he's trying to put my mind at ease.

"Jacqueline twisted things to make them worse than what they were. When we went into her house and saw Serena there weren't men around and we were all pissed. We just reacted but with you we had to be careful with what we did, we couldn't risk anything happening to you. I know it was killing Christian to not be able to help you." He tells me more about the friendship he and Christian had, and how they respect each other but they also like to piss each other off. I couldn't help but laugh at the things he would tell me. After talking a while more he decided to leave.

 **CHRISTIAN**

I can hear Hunter talking, I hear Hunter tell Ana how he knows Jacqueline makes things sound worse than what they are I feel relieved and decide to pretend I'm still asleep. I need to remember to thank Hunter for trying to put Ana's doubts at ease, he really didn't have too but the fact that he explained things makes him a better person than me. I should have done more for him and Serena. I hear them say goodbye and I turn to look at Ana who is staring out the window lost in thought.

"I think you had the doctor knock me out on purpose." I say making her turn towards me.

"I think you needed the rest." Ana tells me as she comes to sit next to me on the bed.

"How are you feeling? Do you need me to get the doctor?"

"I'm fine." I say kissing the top of her head as she gets more comfortable one the bed with me.

"You need to eat Christian, I can have them bring you something."

"I'm not hungry, just thirsty." Ana brings me a cup of water and I drink it slowly. She then lays down next to me again.

"How are you feeling?" I ask her.

"I'm good." Ana says pretending to yawn and I know she doesn't want to talk right now.

"Ana?"

"Hm."

"You know my heart has always been yours." I say and I can feel her tears on my chest. "

"And mine yours." She tells me in barely a whisper. Ana falls asleep and Elliot walks in a few minutes later.

"I just wanted to check up on you before I left. Mom told everyone to go home, it was better to come see you at the house later." Elliot tells me.

"And they all left without a fight?"

"Of course not mom told them you just got a little scratch but since we all know how big of a baby you are they needed to keep you over night." Elliot tries to hold in his laugh so he doesn't wake Ana up.

"Seriously though are you alright?"

"Yes I'm good. You know having you there made me feel like nothing could go wrong, I mean when your big brother shows up, it's like no one can mess with you. Elliot I'm sorry you got hurt, but it really meant a lot that you were there. I felt more at ease. Thank you Elliot for everything." I say.

"I'll always be there for you Christian, just like you've always been there for me, even when you're distant."

"How's Ana?"

"She seems okay, but I know this wasn't easy for her. Especially hearing about Serena and knowing I kept that from her." I say.

"Jacqueline is a pathetic excuse of a human being. She's great at manipulating things to make people believe her but Ana loves you Christian. It was hard for me to hear it, so I could only imagine what it felt like for Ana. She's strong Christian and you two need to talk, don't keep shit from her, no matter how much you think it's not important." Elliot says.

"I can't lose her Elliot, she's my world. I was so stupid in all the choices I made, in pushing her away and..."

"Christian it's in the past, Ana has forgiven you for that. You just have to talk about what happened to day and be fully honest. It was hard to hear Christian, I was there and trust me there was times where I questioned it a bit, and it sucked. I said almost because I know how much you love Ana. Even when we were growing up, the way you would look at her and even now it's like she's all that you see. Don't let her shut you out, and don't shut down on her either."

"Thank you Elliot." He updates me on Jacqueline and tells me that our dad is making sure she never sees daylight again. I end up drifting to sleep holding on to Ana, hoping that she knows how much I truly love her.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter 41: Chapter 41**

 **CHRISTIAN**

We were able to go home the next morning. Everyone came by to check on Ana and me, to make sure we were alright. They brought over our favorite foods and deserts, I joked with Gail telling her she could have a vacation with all the stuff our parents are bringing. Mom teaches Ana how to check my wound and look for signs of infection. Once everyone leaves, Ana decides to take a shower while I talk to Taylor.

"So far Leila is still out of town sir, no where near Seattle. We have someone watching her, we are also monitoring her calls and emails. I hope that she took my threat serious last time." Taylor tells me.

"Thank you Taylor. I also want to thank you for what you did for Ana, staying by her side not knowing what Jacqueline was going to do. I could never repay you Taylor, I understand if you need time off or wish to..." I start to say when Taylor cuts me off.

"Sir with all due respect, I know what I signed up for. We've never really thought it'd come to something like this but I knew it was a risk I'd have to take. Ana is someone who doesn't deserve to be hurt and neither do you, especially by that vile snake. I would do it again if I had to, I will continue working for you sir if you will allow me to."

"I would really like for you to stay Taylor."

"Christian my job is to protect you against any harm even if you are causing it. If you ever pull a stunt like that again I will kick your ass myself." I can see him trying to hold in his smile. I can't help but laugh.

"Despite the fact that I'm an asshole, I consider you guys family. Taylor I wasn't going to let her shoot you, I just reacted when I saw her with the gun."

"Thank you for taking a bullet for me Christian, not everyone does that for anybody." Taylor says as we give each other a guy hug. He starts walking out of the office, when I stop him.

"Make sure Sawyer gets some time off, I need him at 100% before he can get back to work." I say.

"I'll let him know sir, he should be home tomorrow."

I go to the bedroom, and grab my laptop. I decide to answer a few emails while I wait for Ana to get out. I'm sitting in bed when I hear the her voice.

"You aren't suppose to be working." She walks towards me and takes the laptop away. I watch her walk towards the dresser and as much as she's trying to pretend everything is alright, I know it's not. Ana climbs into bed next to me.

"Do you need anything? Are you in any pain?"

"I'm good I took the medication before coming to bed. What I do need if for you to tell me how you really feel." I say looking into her eyes.

"I'm thankful that nothing major happened, and that Jacqueline is going to be gone for a very long time. It was scary not knowing what was going to happen. To see the blood on your shirt, I could have lost you but I thank God that didn't happen. Your here safe with me."

"We did get lucky." I say.

"We should get some rest." Ana says reaching to turn off the light but I grab her arm with my good one.

"Talk to me baby." I caress her cheek and she closes her eyes.

"You need your rest Christian. We'll talk tomorrow."

"Ana, don't do that." I say a little harsher than I intended to.

"Don't do what Christian?" Ana gets off the bed and I know she's trying to keep calm.

"I fucked up, I know and I'm sorry. I know I should have told you about it sooner but I need you to talk to me tell me what is going in your mind. What are you thinking? What did Elena whisper to you?" I get closer to her but she takes a step back.

"Whatever she said doesn't matter. We are safe now, she can't hurt me anymore and that's all that matters. There's no point in talking about it when we can't change it."

"Something is bothering you Ana. I can see it when you try to smile, it's your fake smile. Your voice is a bit distant. Don't hold it in. I know I can't change what happened even though I keep wishing that I had told you, but don't let it affect our future."

Ana looks up at me and I can see the hurt and that she's mad. I take another step towards her but she turns away from me and walks across the room.

"Do you know how hard it was to hear Jacqueline talk about Serena? To realize that the man who promised there were no more secrets left out something important. I get that it wasn't your story to tell but you could have told me that you were interested in Serena. I was caught by surprise that there were times where I started doubting your feelings for me Christian. I have to give Jacqueline credit because she's the master of playing mind games, the way she knew to hit me where it hurts."

"Ana..."

"I felt like my heart was breaking all over again when I heard Jacqueline say that Serena was someone you loved. I know now that it wasn't what Jacqueline made it to be but at the time I didn't know that. She made it seem like a love story type of thing. To know that it was possible that you had lied to me, to realize that it had to be true other wise you would have told me yourself. I tried so hard to ignore her but a lot of things she said made since, there had to be some truth to it right?" Ana wipes away the tears and I try to pull her towards me but she keeps pulling away.

"I did try to pursue Serena but only as a sub not for something more. That is the only interest I had in her, she reminded me of you when I first saw her Ana but that quickly vanished when I saw her more closely. The more I saw Hunter was into her the more I went along with it but it was to piss him off. When we found out she didn't have a clue about the lifestyle we figured we'd win her over by acting like normal guys. That's it, there was no one else Ana, it's always been you. Everyone else has just been subs, we would approach them with the contract and go from there. I never did the hearts and flowers with them. Serena was the first one we met outside of the club but it wasn't what you think. I care for Serena but only as a friend, I felt protective of her the way I am with Mia." Ana looks at me. I walk towards her and this time she doesn't step away from me.

"The fact that you tried for her Christian. You send her flowers and took her out to dinner, like a date."

"It was stupid but it was to beat Hunter, and to piss him off nothing more." I say.

I'm not even mad at you Christian, it was just a lot to take in. I hate that I let her get in my head Christian, especially knowing how much she truly hated me. The way she thre...that's beside the point I should know better but I never once thought that she would tell me you were in love with Serena and all the trouble you went through for her. As much as I tried to block her out and tell myself that it's not true, it keeps replaying in my head. I know it's not what she made it out to be, and I get that you had a life those years we didn't see each other but...it still hurts. A part of me feels like you didn't miss me at all, you were really enjoying your life. I just need time to get my thoughts together and get Jacqueline out of my head."

"I need to know how she threatened you." Ana takes a deep breathe.

Ana clears her throat. I pull her in for a tight hug not letting her go even though she tries to pull away.

"It's not important Christian, it didn't happen and I'm safe now."

"It does matter Ana. You keep thinking about what she said."

"She said she'd keep me and Elliot alive as long as I cooperate. I had no idea how much she wanted to torture me before ending my life and as for Elliot he's just a bonus prize. She was so sure she could plead insanity and she'd get off easy. The only reason you were holding back was because you knew that her men could do more damage to me before anyone could safe me. I had messed with the wrong person and I was going to pay dearly. She pretty much told me the fun hadn't started yet and I was going to see your dominate side then I would understand how much you truly enjoy it. Christian she was going you punish me to remind you how good it feels, maybe she'd let Hunter join in on the fun. Jacqueline told me that I might walk out alive but that I can be sure I would never be the same and that is only the beginning because I can bet that she was going to kill me."

"I would never have gone along with it Ana. I could never do that to you and I know that Hunter wouldn't either. I will make her pay for all of this." I say.

I can't believe she would say that, I can understand why Taylor was so tense. I could have asked him what was said but I wanted to hear it from Ana, she shouldn't have to keep something like that to herself.

"You'd have no choice Christian. You would have had to done it because if it wasn't you it was going to be one of her men and she would have killed Elliot." Ana says in a distant and cold voice.

"Ana, I'm so sorry for bringing her into your life. I never thought that it would ever come to this. I don't know how to make this better for you."

"It didn't get to far, and we're alive that's all that matters. Jacqueline will get whats coming to her." I pull Ana towards me and kiss her, pouring my love into that kiss. I deepen it while holding her tight. I lean my forehead on hears looking deep into her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Ana for all those years we lost because of my stupid decisions, you have no idea how much I regret it. I love you so much, you mean everything to me. Trust me baby when I tell you that it's only ever been you."

"I love you so much Christian." Ana tells me through her tears which I wipe away. We lay down on the bed with Ana cuddling next to me and I can feel her warmth, she doesn't seem as detached from me but she's not completely there either.

"Christian can I ask you something?"

"Anything."

"What happened when you looked for Serena? Why couldn't you all find her?"

"Every time we got close it turned out to be a false lead, or she was gone by the time we would get there. All of a sudden there was no record of her anywhere. We contacted her family and they told us if we came by again they'd call the cops on us. Eventually we just stopped, her father told Hunter that she was fine and if he loved her he'd stop looking and so he did.

"Ana?"

"Yeah."

"You have to know that I wasn't enjoying life, until I got you back. I have a reason for getting up every morning now and it's all because of you. If I ever lost you I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'm an idiot for ever doubting what we had." I say holding her closer to me. Ana sits on her knees and looks deep into my eyes and kisses me gently.


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter 42: Chapter 42**

 **A/N: Hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. Thank you all for the reviews, I greatly appreciate**

 **them.**

 **ANASTASIA**

Three months have gone by since the whole kidnapping thing. Carrick made sure Jacqueline couldn't get out on bail and that she would be put away for a very long time. Elliot wearing the wire really helped, especially since you could clearly hear threatening me. Once Christian was fully recovered I told him I was going to stay with Kate for a while, which only lasted a two weeks. Kate was very supportive and told me how Christian is a jackass who doesn't deserve me but given everything he has done so far shows how much he's committed to me. Men are stupid and think that everything they do is to protect us and it's not till they see that we are hurt they realize how wrong they were. I couldn't help but laugh at the shocked face she made when she realized she was defending Christian. At the end she told me it was my choice and only I know what my heart wants and what will truly make me happy.

Christian has been amazing. We had a good conversation and he told me all about the time when he and I weren't together. I told him that didn't matter what I needed to know were the things that could come back and haunt him, but he insisted that I needed to know everything so I was aware of his past since he knew what I did during those years giving that he had me followed. Christian also said he understood if I couldn't continue to be with him because all he tends to do is hurt me. I deserve to be truly happy and find someone who is going to always make me smile and laugh. I fell even more in love with him, knowing that it couldn't have been easy for him to say that. I told him I still needed time but the following week I moved back in with him which he was ecstatic about. I put my heels on and turn to walk out of the room to find Christian standing in the door way looking at me with hunger in his eyes.

"It's not nice to stare." I say walking towards him, I wrap my arms around his neck and he gives me a passionate his making me moan.

"Mr. Grey, you can't kiss me like that then we'll never leave." I say laughing.

"Maybe that's what I'm hoping for, my sexy girlfriend looks fucking hot, I don't think you should be allowed to leave this room."

"Maybe I should take off the dress and walk out in my under." I say walking away. Christian slaps my butt causing me to turn and look at him. Christian is about to get me when Taylor clears his throat.

"Sorry to interrupt but Mrs. Grey is on her way up."

"My mother has perfect timing. We'll be right there Taylor." Taylor walks away with a huge smile.

"She knows her son to well." I say laughing.

We walk to the living room to see Grace and my mom in the living room. We greet them with a hug.

"Everyone is already at the restaurant we figured you two might be distracted and we wanted to make sure you didn't show up late. With Ethan's big announcement and all." Grace tells us with a wink.

Last week Elliot called us to tell us Ethan has some news to share but since Mia is always around him he couldn't call us himself but he would like to have dinner with all of us.

"I'll have you know that we were just leaving." Christian says with a smile.

"In that case son we'll ride with you" my mom says linking her arm with Christian's as Carrick and I follow behind.

We arrive at the restaurant and are greeted by everyone. The conversation flows nicely with a lot of laughs. We are eating desert and Christian tells me we will share ours.

"Awe that's so cute." Mia says with a smile.

"So what's the big news?" I ask not being able to wait much longer. Ethan gives me a huge smile as the waitress brings us all our deserts.

Mia smiles and starts talking to me about some new clothes that is coming in and that we should go look at them, make it a girls night. I look at her confused wondering why she's not questioning Ethan by now. Kate agrees saying it will be fun, acting like I didn't say anything but before I can question it Christian gets my attention.

"Here babe you can have the first bite." He's holding a fork out to me with a ring on it. I open my eyes wide as he gets on one knee.

"Anastasia Rose Steele you have always been the light of my life, I was such an idiot to ever think otherwise. You are my world and without you my life is dull. I know I still have a lot to learn and I want to learn with you by my side. I can't promise I won't mess up but I can promise I won't make the same mistakes twice and I won't let you out my life. Ana my heart belongs to you, it always has. I want to spent the rest of my life with you, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

"Oh my God! I love you Christian, Yes!" I say as he picks me up and kisses me. Everyone congratulates us as we continue to celebrate. I feel over the moon right now. We go back home close to midnight and Christian and I make love all night, till we fall asleep because of exhaustion.

 **CHRISTIAN**

I am so happy and excited to make Ana my wife. I was really nervous and scared that she might not be ready to marry me just yet but after talking to my dad and Ray they told me to just go for it and it was about time now. Elliot and Ethan told me there's no point in wasting time, it was now or never. If it were up to me I would have had someone early in the morning to marry us right there and then. I even told Ana that we can have an "official" wedding later, she almost agreed to it till Elena called telling her they needed to start looking for a dress and all that other shit. I know Ana deserves the best and I can't wait to see her in her wedding dress but I'm also anxious for her to carry my last name. I'm broken out of my thoughts when Taylor walks in with a folder in his hands.

"Please tell it's good news." I say to Taylor who smiles.

"Ana already made the arrangements to fly out tomorrow." I raise an eyebrow at him wondering how she found out before me.

"She's been bugging Sawyer and Barney non stop." Taylor says laughing.

"Of course she would. I'm surprised she's waiting to leave till tomorrow."

"Well she did call while you had your conference call. Andrea told her you had a busy today."

"And my fiance knew I wouldn't let her go without me."

Taylor gives me the details, and then I call Andrea in to give me my schedule for the next two days. Thankfully all my meetings are today so the next to days are pretty much cleared. I pull out my phone to call Ana and smile when I see she's calling me.

"Are you free tomorrow?" Ana asks and I can hear her excitement.

"Hello to you too. My day has been going good even though I've been really busy." I say making Ana laugh. "I love you." She tells me making me laugh.

"I hear you've been in a good mood." Ana says.

"Are my employees breaking their NDA's." I say.

"I didn't say who told me, it could have been anybody." Ana responds.

We both start laughing, and talk some more. Ana tells me how she's been getting on Elliot's nerves since he's been in the office all day.

"What time are we leaving tomorrow?" I ask even though I already got the information from Taylor.

"Mr. Grey don't act like you don't already know. I'm sure Taylor already updated you on all that. And no he didn't tell me, I just know how the both of you work."

"If I'm that predictable then I am going to have to change things up because eventually you'll get bored of me, and I can't have that." I say making Ana laugh.

"I could never get bored of you, besides you got your mood swings that I gotta keep up with. There's also the fact that I love you completely."

"I love you too Ana, don't ever forget that." I say.

We discuss a few more things before I hear Elliot saying something about some new protect and the paper work. We both hung up and I go into my next meeting with Ross smiling at me.

"You know people are getting scared with all the smiling you've been doing." Ross says laughing as we walk into the room. I look around and see the men we are about to buy out look intimidated.

I look at Ross who has an _I told you_ expression on her. I shake all their hands as we start discussing the terms and price of what their failing company is worth. It doesn't take long for them to agree to my terms. By seven I am finally done and heading home. I walk in to find Ana serving two glasses of wine.

"Hello handsome."

"Hi beautiful." I say making her laugh as I kiss her neck. Ana turns around and wraps her arms around my neck kissing me with such hunger. We hear Gail clear her throat, letting us know dinner is served. We sit down and eat our meal.

"My mom called today, telling me she set up a few appointments to look for dresses. Mia and Kate already have a few ideas for themes that they want to run by us. Your mom is looking at the flower arrangements as well." I can't help but laugh at the face Ana makes mentioning all this.

"The more I think about it I'm starting to like your idea of just getting married."

"As much as I want that baby, I'm starting to like the idea of taking you out of the wedding dress and seeing what you're wearing underneath." I say kissing her as we go to the living room.

"You know Mr. Grey maybe I won't wear anything under my dress." Ana says getting on top of me, slowly kissing me and moving down my neck.

"Fuck that feels good." I whisper.

I close my eyes, enjoying the feel of Ana's lips on me as she slowly undresses me. I almost come as soon as she puts her lips around my cock, taking me all the way in. The way she is looking up at me as she slowly moves back and forth making it feel so good. Once I can't take it no more, I pull her up to me and kiss her roughly. With one quick pull I rip off her panties and lift up her skirt, laying her down on the sofa. I remove her shirt seeing her plump breast, I slowly move my hand down her chest feeling it rise and fall till I reach the hook on her bra. I lean down and kiss her again as I enter her making us both moan in pleasure. I move in a slow pace, enjoying the sight of her.

"I love you Christian." Ana tells me looking deep into my eyes.

"I love you more Anastasia." I say as we both come together. I lay behind her as we pull the small blanket that we have on the couch over us.


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter 43: Chapter 43**

 **A/N: Thank you all so much, you guys are awesome. I hope you enjoy this chapter, it's not so much Ana and Christian but hope you all like it. And I read chapter 15 listening to the Willie Nelson Song and it did fit. Thank you!**

 **CHRISTIAN**

We arrive at the hotel and take a shower. We decide to grab some lunch since we had a very earlybreakfast. Ana's phone rings as we are walking back to the hotel.

"Yes, I can be there in half an hour." Ana says before hanging up.

"Sawyer and I better head out." Ana tells me.

"Please be careful and if something seems off you need to leave."

"I know and if Sawyer suspects anything I will listen to him without questioning it." Ana tells me witha huge smirk.

"I can't believe I agreed to let you go without me, and not giving me the exact address. You are going to be the death of me." I say feeling anxious about this. I could call Barney or Welch to get the address but I promised Ana I wouldn't. She wants Serena to fully trust her, Taylor has the address and that's good enough for me. There were no addresses in the file other than contact numbers and old addresses. Ana made the call and spoke to Mr. Harp and things went from there. It was a big step for us.

"I know you're worried Christian, but I'll be safe. I promise. I'm sure we're both over reacting right now, I mean there's no reason I would be in danger. For all we know they feel the same way right now and that's why they moved this earlier." Ana gives me a soft kiss and smiles at me. Taylor and I walk them to the car and watch them drive away.

"She'll be fine sir, they won't be to far from us and Reynolds is also close by." Taylor gives me a reassuring look.

I nod as we walk to a few stores as distraction. Luckily Mia calls me and asks me about the wedding date and she needs to know how much time they have to plan everything. I can't help but laugh at how fast they are moving to make this happen it's like they are anxious as I am.

 **ANASTASIA**

Sawyer and I arrive at the address Mr. Harp gave me. I'm in shock when I see the mansion, it's huge something right out of a movie. I look over at Sawyer who seems just as surprised as I am.

"It's your call Sawyer." I say looking at him.

"No pressure right?" Sawyer says jokingly. "It's now or never." Sawyer drives through the gates as we they open and puts the car in drive.

We walk up the door and it opens before I even ring the door bell.

"You must be Anastasia." A man around my dad's age says with a warm smile.

"Yes, Mr. Harp?" I ask not quite sure if it's him.

We couldn't find any recent pictures of him and the ones we did they do have the same eyes.

"The one and only, but you can call me Chris. And you are?"

Mr. Harp asks looking at Sawyer who is behind me. I look over at him and I can see Sawyer doesn't buy the act of not knowing who he is.

"I'm Luke." He says shaking Mr. Harps hand.

"Please come in." Chris says.

We follow him to the living area where a lady dressed as a maid is setting down a try with cups and a tea pot. I sit down on one of the couches while Sawyer sits next to me.

"You have a beautiful home." I say as Chris serves us all tea.

"Thank you my wife thinks this was a bit much but I told her she deserves to be treated like a queen so..."

"He bought me this huge house because it's as close to a castle as I can get." An older brunette walks in sitting next to Chris. "I'm Lisa." She greets us.

"It's nice to meet you." I say. Sawyer only nods.

"Is it just the two of you?" Lisa asks. I look at her confused.

"Yes, just Ana and me." Luke answers giving a knowing look.

"Were you expecting someone else?" I ask.

"Not sure what we were expecting." Chris says looking at his wife with a loving yet stern look.

"I know you said I probably wouldn't be able to talk to Serena, even though I was hoping to see her but if you could please give her something for me." I say pulling the USB that Barney made for me.

"What is in that?" I hear a soft voice behind me. Both Sawyer and I turn around to see Serena standing there.

"It's a recording. I can understand if you don't want to listen to it but I would really like to talk to you." I say looking at her.

"Alone?" She asks.

"No, I don't mind if we talk here with your parents and Luke present. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"I'm surprised you came alone, well I mean with one body guard but other than that no one else came with you?" Serena asks a bit cautious but not rude.

"It was the agreement, and I wasn't going to risk missing the opportunity to talk to you." I say with a smile.

"I appreciate that, you have no idea how much that means to me." Serena tells me sitting on the sofa chair closes to me.

"Does he know you're here?"

"No. I didn't want to get his hopes up. The only one who knows is Christian but he doesn't know where I was meeting you at. I made sure he didn't follow me. Christian didn't want to risk you running again and he wants to fix things, that's why he agreed to let me come with Luke." I say. Serena nods in understanding, then grabs a cup of tea.

"My parents know everything, so you don't have to worry about being discreet." Serena says. I look over at her parents who give me a smile.

"What do expect out of this? I mean don't get me wrong, I agreed to this because I'm curious as to why Christian's fiance wanted to meet with me. What could be so important? I don't mean to sound rude, I just don't see this changing anything." Serena tells me and I can see the hurt in her eyes as if she's trying to move past it all.

"It's fine Serena I can understand where you're coming from. I know there's a chance that after you hear what I have to say and what's on my phone or that USB, it might not change anything but it might give you some closure. I know that you were hurt and felt betrayed. I'm not saying Hunter was innocent in all this, and I know he was wrong and so was Christian. I just need you to really hear me out." I say.

"I felt hurt. It was like the man I thought I knew was actually a complete stranger. I knew he was closed off and there was a part that he didn't want to share with me but I never thought that he was..." Serena says clearing her throat and wiping away the tears.

"Serena I'm sorry, I'm not doing this to reopen your wounds. Jacqueline hurt me terribly, she hates me for being with Christian."

"Her most prized possession." Serena says sarcastically, and I nod.

"So you know everything?"

"Yes, Christian told me, but we've known each other a really long time. I only found out about Hunter later. Some day I'll tell you all about it if you'd like." I say making Serena smile.

"You know Jacqueline is very manipulative and she's great at making things look worse than what they really are. Like I said Hunter is at fault for not being completely honest, but you have to know that Jacqueline made it worse than what it really was. Serena you have to know he really loves you."

"I saw first hand how violent he became. I saw the way Jacqueline laughed when he grabbed her up against the wall. What if he eventually lost his temper with me? I can't be what he needs."

"Serena he only reacted like that because Jacqueline had a whip on her hand and she acted like she was going to use it on you. Hunter was protecting you the only way he could at the moment. Jacqueline set him up, so you could see what she wanted you to see. The lifestyle is not as violent as she made it out to be. Hunter was scared of losing you and Jacqueline only played on that fear causing him to react in anger but he wouldn't do that to you."

"Are you in the lifestyle Ana?"

"No, I just know about it. After I found that's what Christian did, I did my own research and Christian explained it to me. It was hard to understand and I had the same doubts. What if I wasn't good enough? What if he got bored of me? I felt like I couldn't be what he needed. After a lot of work I realized that Christian needed me not the lifestyle. Our situations are different in some ways but similar in others."

"Why do you want to fix things? You don't know me. Why would you do this for Hunter?" Serena looks at me trying to understand.

"After I found out what happened between you and Hunter, I could see how much he is in love with you. I can tell that he is still heart broken over loosing you. He blames himself, and even though he won't admit it I know he desperately wants to fix things. Hunter helped Christian save me, and I know I don't owe him anything but I want him to at least have some kind of closure, if you decide you don't want to see him again. I'm a hopeless romantic and a part of me wants the two of you to get your fairy tale like I've gotten mine." I say grabbing her hand.

"Don't feel pressured, it's the last thing I want. I'm just glad that you're hearing me out. Any who it's a very long story but I knew there was tension between Christian and Hunter, I didn't know what exactly till Jacqueline kidnapped me. I'm sure you and Hunter had arguments, but he never hurt you Serena. At least I hope he didn't, so that in itself should be a reason to believe that he didn't need the lifestyle as much as you might think. I'm sorry I keep jumping back and forth. Hunter and Christian told me about you. It was hard to hear that Christian loved another woman, even though we weren't together at the time but I always thought I was the one and only. I know Jacqueline twisted it in her own way so Hunter told me the truth." I give Serena a sad smile.

"I'm sorry she kidnapped you. I'm glad you are doing good though she seemed like an evil woman."

"Well she's behind bars now." I say.

"You need to know Christian didn't love me in that sense. I knew he liked to piss Hunter off and vice versa, Christian only played his part when Hunter was around but when we were alone he acted like a friend and respected me. The one time he kis..." Serena starts to say and I smile at her.

"I know the truth, you don't need to explain."

"The day I got the pictures I couldn't think straight. I tried to get Hunter to tell me something anything, I remember I asked him to tell me what it was he was holding back I wanted him to open up to me but he would shut down on me. We would argue but he would always come back and apologize and made me feel loved. I did my best to not to let him know I had the pictures. I decided to go see Jacqueline and she told me about the lifestyle they were all in. Hunter and Christian showed up and I could see the worry in their eyes. I wanted to hear Hunter out but Jacqueline wouldn't give me time or space to get my thoughts together. She just kept throwing it all at me, I couldn't think. I felt sick to my stomach, like my whole world was collapsing." Serena takes a deep breath.

"Jacqueline told me about Hunter meeting with an ex sub and I felt like I couldn't stand. I tried asking Hunter but it's like he couldn't answer me. It's like he was afraid to say the wrong thing. When I asked Christian I knew he felt torn, he wanted to help Hunter out but he couldn't lie to me either. Then to see him react like that it broke my heart, I had to think about..." Serena says trying to wipe away the tears. Her dad clears his throat as her mom comes to hug her.

"I'm sorry to upset you." I say knowing there's more to this.

"Serena if you don't want to tell me anymore I understand. I just ask that you hear this recording. It's Hunter and I talking, he's not aware I was recording him." I say. Serena tells me to go ahead and play it.

 **RECORDING**

 _"How are you doing Ana?" Hunter asks._

 _"I'm good. I'm so happy no one got hurt. Thank you for being there for us, I know it couldn't be easy_ _especially given yours and Christian's past. I'm sorry for what happened to you and Serena I say._

 _"I could only blame myself Ana, besides it was to safe you. I wasn't going to let the bitch hurt you,_ _especially when I knew she was willing to do more harm to you than anything else. Serena was never in_ _danger like you were, the way Jacqueline would look at you anyone could see it. As for me and_ _Christian we have a love and hate friendship."_

 _"Have you ever tried looking for her again?" Hunter nods no. "I moved back to Seattle hoping that_ _maybe one day she will come looking for me not that it would be hard to find me anyway but I felt like_ _maybe I would make it easier for her. Two years it a long time so I'm sure she's already moved on."_

 _"I tried moving on in a sense but I couldn't Hunter, and I'm sure she still loves you. It had to be_ _overwhelming for her, not that it's an excuse but she probably couldn't think clearly and then to have_ _Jacqueline make things sound worse than what they are couldn't have been easy for her."_

 _"I don't blame Serena for leaving, and a part of me wished Christian would have lied for me I know_ _that at the time he thought he was doing me a favor. I was pissed at him and didn't want him to be_ _happy. Don't get me wrong I still think you are too good for him but I can see the love you two share,_ _it's just like me and Serena the difference is that I kept secrets from her. At the end she thought she_ _didn't know me, that I was just playing with her but the truth is she knew the real me, the me I forgot._ _I had my heart broken by my high school sweet heart. She cheated on me with some jock and we had_ _our whole future planned. I swore I wouldn't do the love thing again and eventually got mixed into_ _this BDSM lifestyle which I enjoyed but with Serena she showed me how to live again and open up."_

 _"Hunter I believe she'll come back into your life again. I also think she only ran because Jacqueline_ _scared her not so much because of you."_

 _"What was her last name?" I ask._

 _"Harp."_

 _"That's a nice last name."_

 _"Ana you need to know that Christian didn't love Serena. I mean he wasn't in love with her, he did care_ _for her and loved her but more as a friend or a sister. I know that sounds twisted but the more he got to_ _know her the more the attraction went away and he saw her a different way. When he kissed her it was_ _more to piss me off and now that I think about it, I believe he did_ _it_ _so that I could stop being a pansy_ _and admit my feelings for her."_

 _"Thank you Hunter."_

 _"Jacqueline twisted things to make them worse than what they were. When we went into her house and_ _saw Serena there weren't men around and we were all pissed. We just reacted but with you we had to be_ _careful with what we did, we couldn't risk anything happening to you. I know it was killing Christian to_ _not be able to help you."_

I look up at Serena who has more tears in her eyes. "He sounds so broken, not like the strong confident man I met." Serena says.

"He truly loves you Serena, he never stopped. I know he kept looking for you, and he would have continued if you hadn't asked him to stop."

"I was pregnant. I was overwhelmed and I kept thinking I had to get away from all of them, especially if they had friends like Jacqueline. I left and went to my aunts house, I knew Hunter wouldn't have looked for me there since she was out of town. I kept thinking that I had to protect the baby that Hunter and I created." Serena says through her sobs.

"I'm so sorry Serena, I didn't know. I can understand why you left, even if it wasn't for the pregnancy. I don't judge you for you choice. There's been times where I've left too because I couldn't think, I needed to get away. I don't know what you are thinking right now and I'm not going to ask you to go talk to Hunter because it's your choice to make. I just wanted you to know how he truly feels and hope that it gives you peace of mind. I'm here if you need me for anything." I go to hug her.

"Thank you Ana. I'm not sure what I want to do but it means a lot that you're not pressuring me, even though you're probably thinking Hunter should know about the pregnancy." I look at Serena confused because she said pregnancy instead of baby. It's like she read my mind.

"She lost the baby." Lisa says with a sad voice.

"Oh Serena. I'm sorry."

"I had known I was pregnant for a week. I was going to surprise Hunter and was waiting for the weekend when we were going to go away but then I got the pictures and kept putting it off hoping he would talk to me. I really did have every intention of telling him. I just wanted him to open up to me first. I was eight weeks when I found out. When I went to talk to Jacqueline, it was all to much for me. Once I got to my aunt's house I took a warm shower just wanting to relax. When I woke up the next morning I called my mom to come for me. I had eaten breakfast and I when I got up, I felt a sharp pain. I tried walking to the sofa but I couldn't so I laid down on the kitchen floor. My mom found me crying and holding my stomach." Serena says crying.

"She kept telling me to help her and the baby, that she couldn't lose it. I called 911. When the ambulance got there Serena had fever, when they put her on the stretcher we saw the blood. I knew that wasn't a good sign." Lisa says.

"I had to heal so I decided to leave. I had lost a part of me again, I couldn't face Hunter either. I was pissed at him but I didn't blame him. I knew I should have never gone to see Jacqueline but I needed to know about the pictures." Serena says as I wipe away the tears.

"I had asked Hunter to stop looking for me and moved in with my parents. They kept their old house and bought this one under a different name so no one could track us."

"I'm so sorry Serena, for everything you went through." I say squeezing her hand.

"Can I keep this." Serena says hold the USB.

"Yes, it's yours." I say as Sawyer and I stand to leave.

"Thank you." Serena says.

"If you ever need anyone to talk to you can call me. Chris, Lisa thank you for allowing me to come to your home. Serena you have no idea how grateful I am that you heard me out." I say.

"I'll keep in touch and tell Christian that I appreciate him letting you come alone." Sawyer and I walk to the car but before I get in Chris stops me.

"Thank you Ana. My daughter really needed that, I know she is still in love with Hunter. She's in a good place now and has healed in her own way but I know her heart isn't whole without him. I'm not happy about his past but he always treated my daughter like she should be treated with so much love and respect. I know for a fact that a man change for the better when the right woman comes along." I nod and thank him again.

"I did not expect that." I say.

"I knew there was more to it, I just didn't expect that either." Sawyer says.

I call Christian to let him know we are heading back, surprisingly he sounds calm. I go up to the hotel room and Christian pulls me into a hug and kiss.

"I missed you too baby." I say when we pull apart making him laugh.

"I orders us some food." I look to the small table behind him and see the two plates of food. We sit down and talk, he tells me about Mia wanting to pull this wedding off as quick as he does making me laugh **.**


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter 44: Chapter 44**

 **A/N: Okay so this chapter is focused mostly on Hunter and Serena hope you all enjoy next will be a bit of a time jump. Thank you all for sticking with me.**

 **CHRISTIAN**

It's been a week since we came back home. After Ana told me what happened I couldn't help but feel awful for what happened. I wanted to tell Hunter but we knew it might do more harm than good. We invited Hunter, Elliot, Kate, Ethan and Mia over for dinner. Ana was running a bit late, so I decided to take a shower and change before everyone arrived. Ana rushes to the bedroom to change making me laugh.

Hunter is the first to arrive. I offer him a drink, then we go sit down and talk. Hunter I'm sworn to secrecy but I need to give you a heads up so your not completely blindsided. Ana is up to something. Hunter laughs and tells me he'll do his best to go along with it. He tells me about his business and how he's hired Elliot to build a few more buildings since he needs to expand. I can't help but laugh when he tells me that also means he'll be having lunch meetings with Ana. Everyone else arrives shortly after. Gail lets us know dinner will be ready in about fifteen minutes.

"We are waiting for one more guest." Ana says.

"Ana I told you I don't want to be set up." He tells her making us laugh.

"I would do no such thing." Ana says as her phone rings. Gail tells us dinner is served. We all take our seats around the table.

"I'll go get Ana." I say when I notice her walking towards us with someone behind her. I only hope this goes well and he'll thank us after he beats the shit out of me. It's the first time I'm going to see Serena too, she flew in yesterday and only asked to see Ana.

"Sorry. My friend is a bit nervous and needed a bit of a nudge to come up." Ana says trying to lighten the mood.

"Serena?" Hunter says standing up walking towards her.

"It's been a long time Hunter." Serena says looking at him.

"How?..." Hunter asks looking at me then at Ana who shrugs her shoulders.

"Talk about sexual tension. You two need to be hosed down." Elliot says making us laugh which I'm thankful.

"Christian." Serena says shaking my hand.

"Welcome to our home." Is all I can think to say.

"Now that we got that out of the way can we eat." Ethan says.

"That's my line bro." Elliot says.

Serena sits next to Hunter and I can see he wants to smile but isn't sure on what to do. Serena seems a little more relaxed but still nervous. We are all talking and joking around luckily Serena and Hunter are joining in. Kate and Mia tell Serena about the wedding which makes Ana laugh at how excited they seem.

"I think we are just going to elope." Ana says making Mia and Kate look at her like she has said the worst thing in the world.

"We plan to leave this weekend." I say.

"Why are just telling us now. Is that why you haven't given us a date.?" Mia says in a serious face.

"Babe the date is this weekend." Ethan says winking at me.

"You knew and didn't tell me, your my brother." Kate says as Ethan laughs.

"They just told us." Elliot says.

"I think that's romantic." Serena says.

Gail cleans off the table, while Ana helps bring desert out.

"Ana you can't be serious. I know this wedding is about you and Christian and if you want to get married in freaking jeans I don't care but we want to witness the two of you making it official. We've been through the good and bad and all the in between along with you guys. We want to share and celebrate this special moment with you." Kate says in her serious tone.

Elliot kisses her and gives her a huge smile.

"You pieces of crap. You had us going." Mia says as we all start laughing.

"It's not funny." Both Kate and Mia say at the same time.

"We want to be married as soon as possible, so the faster we can have everything ready the better. We're shooting for two weeks." Ana says looking up at me. I lean down to kiss her. The ladies go to the living room to discuss more wedding plans and I love how they all include Serena. I can see her smiling and getting along with them. Hunter keeps staring at her with longing and I just hope we can make this right.

"Two weeks huh?" Ethan says.

"We've waited too long." I say drinking my beer.

"How about you Hunter when are you going to fix this shit with Serena. You two have been eyeing each other all night." Elliot says.

"It's not that simple. I don't want to..." Hunter starts to say but then stops. Elliot gets it and changes the topic.

"So bachelor party."

"Of course that's the first thing you'd think about." I say laughing.

After a few more beers and more talking Elliot, Kate, Mia and Ethan all leave. Hunter is with me in the kitchen and I can tell he's anxious to go talk to Serena.

"How long have you been in contact with her?

"Tonight is the first night Hunter. Ana is the one who contacted her about a week ago. We didn't want to get your hopes up till we knew if she was ready. I wasn't aloud to talk to her. Ana's been doing it all. I gave her the information you and I had gotten and she took it from there." I say.

"That's understandable. I should head out." Hunter tells me looking disappointed.

"Hunter she wants to talk to you. I don't know all the details but Ana set this whole thing up to give you a chance to talk. Don't leave man. If you need me I'll be right there, I want to help make this right." I say looking him in the eyes.

"Thank you Christian, I'm just scared of messing it all up again."

"We won't let you and with Ana there I'm sure she'll keep us in line." I say squeezing his shoulder making our way to the living room where the girls are at.

"Nice of you men to join us." Ana says smiling at us.

"We were trying to clean up." I say.

"How have you been Serena? I ask as Hunter keeps looking at her.

"Can't complain how about yourself?"

"I've been great. I'm really glad you could make it." I say.

"I almost didn't but it seems Ana had a back up plan." Serena says with a smile looking at Ana.

"I figured you might have doubts. I needed to make sure you didn't chicken out. You know I didn't tell Hunter because I knew he'd be going crazy wondering whether if you'd show up or not." Ana says giving Hunter a warm smile.

"I probably would have gone crazy." He says with a chuckle.

"I don't believe it, cocky Hunter has left the building." Ana says making us laugh.

"I think he's in shock babe." I say pulling her to sit next to me.

"It's good to see you Hunter. You look good." Serena says with a smile.

"You look as beautiful as ever." Hunter replies.

"We know you guys have some things to clear, so we'll give you some time alone if you'd like." Ana says.

I can see the worry in Serena's eyes and Hunter's.

"I prefer if you stayed. If that's okay with you Hunter." Serena says.

"I prefer it that way too." Hunter says looking at me for reassurance. I nod towards him, not that I'm in any position to give advice or shit but I can be here for support.

We catch up with Serenity, she tells us about what she's been doing during this time away. I tell her about Ana and me making her laugh a few times. Hunter tells Serena how he gave me a hard time about Ana, and how things worked out for the best. Serena laughs a few times and tells us she can't believe we're still pissing each other off. We talk a little bit about the past and Serena tells Ana stories about her and Hunter. He'll correct her sometimes making himself look better, making Ana laugh.

"We really had good times." Serena says a little sad.

"Serena I'm really sorry for hurting you." Hunter says looking at Serena.

"Hunter..." Serena says trying to stop him.

"I need to say this, I've been wanting to apologize for the longest time." Serena looks up at Hunter and tells him to go ahead.

"There's a lot of things I wish I could have done differently. I never wanted you to get hurt, and I guess I just felt like you'd think of me differently if you knew the truth. I truly loved you Serena, I still do that never stopped. My feelings for you were real. I want you to know that non of it was an act. Serena you have been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Fuck! If I would have known how it all turned out I would have told you since the beginning. You had asked me many times to open up to you and I always shut down but I was so scared of losing you, but at the end I lost you anyway and I'll regret it for the rest of my life." Serena wipes away her tears as Hunter sits next to her.

"Hunter we can't...it won't...I could have handled things differently too. I just needed answers." Serena says and we can hear her voice breaking.

"It's not your fault. I don't blame you for running and not wanting anything to do with me. Hell at the time I wanted to get away from myself as well. A big part of me wanted to explain it all to you, but I was selfish. I didn't want to risk you looking at me differently. I'll admit at the time I couldn't understand why you ran away and why you stayed away, I started thinking it was because maybe you didn't love me as much as I thought." Hunter says and I clear my throat.

"Hunter's not blaming you Serena, he's just telling you how he felt at the time. It was hard for him but he knows it was even worse for you." I say.

"Christian's right. I don't mean to make you feel bad that's not my intention. My mind is just going crazy." Hunter says. Serena gives him a warm and understanding smile.

"I was scared. I couldn't..." Serena starts to say.

"You don't have to explain anything to me Serena. I don't need to understand it, I get it." Hunter says.

"It's not that simple Hunter. I was so angry at you for not telling me yourself. I was so angry that someone else showed me that side of you when I needed to hear it from you but I was angry at myself for going to that house and getting answers from a stranger. It wasn't all on you." Hunter reaches for her hands and Serena allows it. I can't help but smile. I can feel Ana tense next to me and I look at her confused.

"Serena, if this is too much for you we can get together some other night." Ana says.

"I need to do this now. If me and Hunter...I don't know what the future holds but I'd rather get everything out in the open now no matter how hard it is." Serena says in barely a whisper.

"Is something wrong?" I ask worried.

Ana gives me a sad smile and tells me everything is fine. I know Hunter is worried too. I know that whatever it is it's going to be hard for Hunter to hear.

"Serena, if you need some time I can understand that even though I don't want to let you out of my sight. I need you to know that I when you asked me those questions, I didn't know how to answer without making it sound bad. Even now I don't know what to say other, I wish I could take it all back and I'm so sorry for the hell I put you through. I still can't believe you're here." Hunter says wiping away her tears. Serena closes her eyes enjoying the comforting feeling.

"I'm fine Hunter. I want you to know that I love you too, just like you I never stopped. I couldn't handle it that night, it was too much. I...what I have to say next is not easy but you need to know and I'm sorry for not telling you but I..." Serna says then takes a deep breath.

Ana moves next to Serena and whispers in her hear.

"I'm here baby." Hunter says to Serena. I can see the worry in his eyes.

"I was pregnant Hunter. I was going to tell you that weekend on the trip we had planned but then I got the pictures..."

"You...we...uh...we...I'm a...we made a baby together? That's the main reason you left?" Hunter says standing up trying to process what she just said.

"Is it a bo..." Hunter starts to say not able to finish.

"I felt like I needed to protect our baby. I couldn't think straight, I felt so lost. I felt like everything was crashing down on me." Hunter nods in understanding but I could see he's tensed and can't wrap his mind around this news.

"I'm...sorry for putt... Did everything...I mean are you okay...how about our bab..." Hunter stutters to get his sentence out.

He stands up and starts pacing back and forth. I know he's pissed but he's trying really hard to keep himself calm. In a sense I understand where he's coming from but then again I can't really understand how that would feel. I go to stand next to him and squeeze his shoulders to try and calm him, letting him know I'm there.

"I...miscarried...I...my bo..." Serena starts to say trying hard not to cry.

Hunter stops and looks at Serena.

"When?" Hunter asks. Serena looks up at him confused.

"When did you have the miscarriage?"

"It doesn't..." Serena starts to say.

"I need to know." Hunter says in at tone that I'm sure came out harsher than he intended.

"The morning after. I couldn't face you so that's when I decided to leave."

"Fuck! Fuck! I can't believe this shit." Hunter says storming towards the elevators. I follow behind him and I can hear Serena calling out to him as her voice breaks into sobs.

"Dammit Hunter! Don't walk away from her. Serena needs you right now. I know this is hard on you, especially after hearing about your baby. I'm here for you man, I won't let you mess up this second chance." Hunter looks at me as the elevator doors open to the garage, he looks at me defeated.

"Fuck Christian! I made her have that miscarriage, because of me! All the shit I put her through made her go..." Hunter says no longer holding in the tears.

"I'm sorry Hunter, I can't imagine what you're feeling right now. You can't blame yourself for this. There could have been so many other reasons for it and the timing sucks but if you're blaming yourself imagine how Serena feels. You need to be strong right now. Me and you can go grab a few beers later and deal with it but right now Serena needs you. I know she said she doesn't know what's going to happen but you need to show her that you are there for her." I tell him.

"Shit! If this is how I feel right now I could only imagine what she felt that night with..." Hunter tells me.

"It's in the past. There's no need to relieve that night anymore, only to answer the questions Serena might have." I push the button to go back up to the penthouse. I see Ana comforting Serena. "I'm sure he's not mad at you Serena and trust me he doesn't blame you at all. It might have been a lot to take in, to hear that you two created a life, it has to be hard." Ana turns to look at us and gives us a warning look.

"Serena, I'm sorry I just. God baby I'm sorry that I caused you so much pain and I'm sorry that I'm the reason you weren't able to..." Hunter starts to say kneeling in front of Serena.

"It's not your fault Hunter. These things happen the timing wasn't the best but it wasn't meant to be. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I found out then I got the pictures. That night I could see your doubts by the way you would hesitate. I didn't understand it and still don't but at the end of it all I don't blame you Hunter, I was pissed at you but it wasn't our fault." Serena leans her forehead against Hunter and I can see he looks relieved.

"Are you okay though? I'm so sorry. It makes sense now." Hunter says the last part more to himself.

"Hunter I could see you still had doubts by the way you'd hesitate. I just needed to clear my head, I had planned to talk to you after some time, but there was a big part of me wasn't sure if I'd tell you about our baby. All I could think about was you having a friend like Jacqueline and the things you were into, there was no way I was going to have my baby around that. I wasn't sure what I wanted to do as far as telling you then I miscarried and I got so depressed. I needed to get away...I'm sor..." Serena says.

"It's okay I understand, I wish I would have known but I understand. You were only being protective. I didn't help by looking for you and pressuring you to hear me out. I know this wasn't easy for you and I know there's a lot to talk about. I would like for us to be friends again and get to know you but I think we can discuss this tomorrow if you want. I know you probably need some rest." Hunter says to Serena.

"We don't need to rehash a lot Hunter. I have a few questions but I think if we are going to be friends we should start fresh. I think all the important facts are out in the open now. Maybe we can discuss it over breakfast." Serena says and I can see the hope in Hunter's eyes. Ana shows Serena the guest bedroom while I grab another beer for me and Hunter. I can see he's tired and probably wants something stronger but the last thing I want is for him to wake up with a hangover.

We talk about what happened and he thanks me for setting this thing up. I tell him it was all Ana and he gives me a smile. He tells me how he feels and I let him know it's okay for him to break down which he does. I've never seen him cry like that but I can understand it. I ask Hunter if he wants to stay but he insists on going home. I have Ryan drive him home and I go the room where I find Ana waiting for me.

"That went better than I thought." I say to Ana who is smiling.

"It did, I was worried for a moment."

"So Miss Steele what was your back up plan to get Serena here?" I ask.

"I had Sawyer waiting for her in the garage. I knew she'd come I just figured she wouldn't get in the elevator so Sawyer made sure she'd make it up here." I can't help but laugh.

"Hunter is grateful for you doing this."

"They deserve to make things right whether they end up together or not. They both couldn't move passed it because it was still an open wound." Ana tells me leaning over to kiss me.

"I love you Ana."

"I love you more Christian."


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter 45: Chapter 45**

 **ANASTASIA**

Christian and I are on our way to England for our honeymoon. Last night we stayed at the hotel where Christian couldn't wait to take the dress off of me once we closed the door. We are going to visit little towns for two weeks. Christian is on a call with Ross discussing some small details that needed to be taken care of, then him and Taylor are going to discuss security measures. I'm trying to read one of my books but think back to Hunter and Serena. The next morning they had gone to breakfast and came back with smiles. They agreed to start over and let go of what happened. Hunter cleared up some of the doubts Serena had, he also cleared up the stuff Jacqueline had said. I'm just glad they are working through it. I remember Serena told me she never thought Hunter had cheated on her but she was afraid that eventually he'd want to have a sub. After talking to him she knows that's not what he wants and trusts him more than ever.

Our wedding was beautiful and amazing. Mia, Kate, my mom and Grace were working double time to get everything taken care of which surprised me. I would tell them what I wanted and they made it happen. Elliot had given me some days off when I had to go for the cake tasting which he off course jumped at the chance to go. "I can't miss out on free cake." Elliot had told me making me laugh. I made Christian come to some of these things as well even though he told me that whatever I wanted he would agree to it.

"Ana all I care about is what you will be wearing underneath." Was his response. I of course laughed and told him that he won't be seeing that if he didn't come out to help me pick things out which of course he showed up to all the appointments. Kate helped me find the perfect wedding dress after looking for almost a week and not finding anything. Serena was helpful with the decorations and I was happy to see Mia and Kate making her feel like part of the family. My dad walked me down the aisle, I remember when he put my hand in Christians and then looked up at him and said, "You are one of the biggest idiots I've met but I'm glad my daughter is marrying you, I don't think there's a better fit."

Everyone started laughing while my dad and Christian shook hands. The ceremony was simple but romantic and I cried when Christian said his vows to me. We danced and ate, then danced some more. As strange as it might seem we danced a second time to Always on my mind by Willie Nelson, leave it Elliot or Kate to pick that song. That's why they belong together. When the song was over Christian leaned in and whispered, "I won't make the same mistakes again Ana, I will make sure you know you are my number one and will always come first. I will show you everyday how much I love you and what you mean to me and baby you will always be on my mind and I will make those fantasies a reality."

I looked up at him and he was smiling, I told him he was horrible making him laugh.

"I didn't mean to take so long." Christian says sitting next to me.

"It's okay I'd rather you spend our whole flight straightening everything out than our honey moon being interrupted." I say leaning over to kiss him.

"I'm all yours babe forever, especially for the next two weeks and I'm going to take advantage of every second to have my wicked way with you." Christian says with a grin pulling me on top of him.

"Well Mr. Grey it seems we have the rest of our lives together not just the next two weeks."

"Yes but we only have two weeks of no interruptions, I don't have to share you with work, or Kate, and the rest of the family." I can't help but laugh at the way he says Kate's name.

"They aren't that bad." Christian looks up at me and I lean down to kiss him.

"If that's you're way of distracting me then you can distract me any time." Christian says picking me up and walking us towards the room at the back of the jet. He gently lays me on the bed and softly kisses me.

"You are so beautiful and sexy. I love you so much." Christian trails slow soft kisses down my neck slowly removing my shirt.

I pull him up towards me kissing him and removing his shirt. We slowly remove the rest of our clothing. Christian kissed me slowly and tenderly, it's like he's memorizing every inch of my body, he works his way back up kissing me passionately and entering me slowly making me moan in pleasure. We move slow but passionately, I'm about to come and I know Christian knows it because he starts moving slower it's like torture and pleasure at the same time. He thrusts one last time both of us finding our release. "I love you Christian." I say drifting off to sleep.

 **CHRISTIAN**

This week has gone to fast for my liking. I'm considering staying another week. We've hardly left the hotel, we had planned to visit a few little towns but we've actually only visited two. Every time Ana got dressed, I ended up undressing her. She told me there was no point in packing if we were going to be naked the whole time. I responded by telling her that we had a great view from up here there's no need in leaving.

"Are we actually going to make the reservation tonight?" Ana asks coming out of the room wearing a long red dress with a slit that goes a little to high for my liking.

"Shouldn't you find a way of keeping this part of the dress from opening when you walk." I say sliding my hand up her thigh.

"Mmm, I don't know I actually like the opening. Gives a bit of access..." I grip Ana's thigh which causes her to stop talking and give me a smile.

"Mr. Grey the car is out front." Taylor says interrupting us. Ana starts walking out of the room and I grab her arm and kiss her.

"No one gets access but me." I tell her. Ana smiles at me as we break apart.

"I wouldn't want anyone else." Ana says as we get in the elevator.

"Shouldn't there be a limit on how high the slit should go?" I ask making Ana laugh as we walk out into the lobby.

"You're lucky I got this one, if it were any higher and everyone would see that I have no underwear." Ana whispers in my ear.

"You got to be fucking kidding me." I mumble walking behind her. Taylor opens the door for us and we get in.

I'm pissed but turned on at the same time. "I'm just saying you should be thankful it's not higher." Ana says trying to look serious.

"You think this is funny." I say pulling Ana towards me.

"You love it." Ana says leaning over to kiss me.

"I think we should forget the reservation and go back up."

"Oh no you don't Christian. You are just going to have to wait." I raise an I eyebrow daring her to test me.

"I would love to go to dinner tonight." Ana says with a smile knowing what I'm thinking. Taylor and Sawyer get in the front and start driving. Ana and I talk about doing something tomorrow.

We walk into the restaurant and I'm greeted by the host who pretends Ana isn't even there. I pull Ana closer to me and give her a long passionate kiss. I give the hostess my name and walk behind Ana. Once we are seated the waitress comes and gives me the wine list, I like the fact that she acknowledges Ana. We talk, laugh and eat our dinner. Time seems to be going quickly. We order desert to go.

"Can we walk around a bit?" Ana asks.

"Anything you want love." I say kissing her softly.

I let Taylor and Sawyer know of our plans. I grab Ana's hand and we start walking. We stop in front of a little store which stands out in from all the fancy boutiques around it. We walk inside and it's a small little store with beautiful antiques, it's actually bigger than it looks. We pick out a few items that really caught our eye. The young man at the register tells us about the history of each piece. Ana is excited about the vase because of the love story behind it.

"See I told you there had to be something about this vase that caught both of our attention, even though you said it was the ugliest thing you've seen." Ana says sticking her tongue out at me.

The vase is ugly but I was still drawn to it and Ana was too, telling me we needed to take it. The guy at the counter tries not to laugh.

"I said we could put it on that ugly little nightstand you don't want to get rid off." I say with a huge smirk. Ana punches my arm. "It is not ugly."

"If you say so." I say laughing.

The rest of the night goes fast, it's pretty late by the time we get back to the hotel. We both decide to take a shower before going to sleep with plans to visit one of the little towns that's on our list.


	46. Chapter 46

**Chapter 46: Chapter 46**

 **ANASTASIA** (a year and a half later)

We are at Hunter and Serena's wedding. Christian is the best man and I am the maid of honor, which I couldn't be happier. Hunter had proposed to Serena and a week later she found out she was eleven weeks pregnant which was great news for both of them. They weren't planning it and she was actually on the pill, they decided to get married before the baby was born. I remember Hunter wanted Serena to be on bed rest but the doctor had said for her to just take it easy. So far she hasn't had any complications and she says she feels great.

Kate and Elliot are still the same two crazy people we know, I see how happy and in love they are and I think of me and Christian and I couldn't be happier. They still can't keep their hands off of each other not even after having a beautiful baby boy Aiden, who is the center of attention. Elliot says Kate is even sexier now which makes us laugh. Kate says the sex is even better especially since they have to find time before Aiden wakes up so they have lunch dates as much as possible. I tell you they don't change which is a good thing. Kate is quite the protective mommy when it comes to Aiden. He's only four months and Kate is already saying he's not going to date till he's old and gray which makes us laugh. Kate is an amazing person and I love her, she truly is my sister not just my best friend.

Ethan and Mia are hopelessly in love. They say they aren't ready to have kids just yet but plan to have one soon. Ethan tells us he's not ready for dirty diapers and baby vomit just yet, which is something we expected Mia to say. Mia learned how to change diapers because of Aiden and says she doesn't mind, but she's not sure if she's ready just yet. They still want to travel and focus on their careers which is a good thing, I know that if they did get pregnant they would be happy either way. Mia is always so attentive to Ethan and vice versa.

As for me and Christian we got our happily ever after and I couldn't be more happy. Our love is so strong and even though we still have arguments like any other couple we always make up at the end. Christian and Elliot are like me and Kate and I love how close they are with each other. Elliot thanked me one day and even cried telling me that I brought out the brother he always knew he had. Mia also thanked me saying that without me her and Christian wouldn't have such a tight bond, that even though he spoiled her he wasn't always there for her and that's all she ever wanted. I told them it wasn't all me because they never gave up on him but they wouldn't hear it.

"What has you so distracted?" Christian says wrapping his arms around me as we watch everyone on the dance floor.

"Just thinking how great our lives turned out. Our parents are still so much in love, and we are going to grow old together." I say turning around to wrap my arms around him.

"And you are going to be stuck with me in the next life and the one after that." Christian leans down to kiss me.

A waiter passes by with champagne and Christian grabs two glasses. "I'll have some water." I say putting the champagne down and grabbing the glass of water I had earlier.

"To our love." Christian says clinking our glasses then we drink.

"Are you still not feeling well?"

"I am feeling great actually." Christian raises his eye brows at me confused.

"I just can't drink champagne it wouldn't be good for the baby." Christian looks at me like he's processing what I just said then smiles and picks me up spinning me around.

"Are you...ser...when...we're having a baby...do you need to sit down? Are you feeling alright? Are you hungry do you need anything?"

"Baby calm down I'm fine. I just found out this morning. Dr. Greene agreed to see me before I met up with the girls. I was going to tell you tonight."

"I love you so much Mrs. Grey." Christian says kissing me.

"I love you more." I say holding him closer to me.

 **The End**

 **A/N: Thank you for all the follows/favorites/and the reviews. For the suggestions and ideas. I**

 **appreciate everyone for sticking with me. I hope you all enjoyed this story. Thank you all once**

 **again and thank you.**


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